Kobold King he/him Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I should have known my purple pony avatar was bound to cause social difficulties for someone sooner or later. And I suppose this picture won't help matters: Oh, don't worry about it. To be honest, I might have embellished my embarrassment a teensy bit in the retelling. She already knew I was a brony, after all. I don't exactly know what those cats are doing in the sink, or why there's a book about Stalin in the background, but I respectfully think that you're wrong and that image does help any situation. 2
Edgedancer he/him Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 So gather round, ye members. Let the King of the Kobolds tell you a short but woeful story. These past couple of days my home has been visited by two guests--an old friend of my mother's and her 18 year-old daughter. We've been having a blast with them, but every now and then I'm left alone in the open living room with no one to talk to. When that transpires I pop open my laptop and check the 17th Shard, as I do in all my spare waking moments. And so I was browsing the forum, reading a post by the wonderful TwiLyghtSansSparkles, when I became suddenly aware of a delicate chin hovering directly over my shoulder. It was the aforementioned daughter, a young lady who has been the bane of my existence my off-and-on frenemy since we were both four. She was born two weeks ahead of me and makes sure I know it on every visit, and this week has taken great delight in claiming to be a manlier specimen of humanity than I. This is the young woman who was reading over my shoulder, taking in a post penned by a member with a flamboyant purple MLP avatar. Wit lost me. Sense oozed out of me. My frenemy's curious gaze swept over the screen. I uttered the first sentence which came to mind. "Th-the purple pony's not my profile picture!" I blurted, scooting my chair from the eavesdropping teenager. Her expression remained unchanged, as unreadable as ever. "What is your profile picture?" she asked curiously. What demons reside on her shoulder, egging her to ask that question at this time? What foul forces has she made pacts with, to have made such an inquiry at this precise moment? Regardless of the stray drop of sweat on my forehead, I tried and failed to give a smile and answered. "Well, I'm--it's a pony, but it's not a purple pony. Just for the record." Her expression remained solid, but I could swear her lips twinged upward in a slight and nigh-imperceptible smile. With a final glance at my screen, she turned her back to me, walking across the room to play another round of Tetris on her phone. And that is my secret, fellow Sharders. On the forum I am, by objective measurement, a giant of popularity and social poise, with no less than 14, 178 points to reward my wit and humor. In real life? I am naught but a buffoon, a blockhead, a bozo, a dork. Just thought you should know. Why didn't you ask her about West coast Epics? I'm sure that would have thrown her off-guard. I myself have sworn to tell people thay my pony avatar can casually level cities, if anyone ever askes me. 3
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Going by the synopsis, the book doesn't sound like my thing at all, but I find myself strangely jealous of the author's surname. 1
Edgedancer he/him Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Going by the synopsis, the book doesn't sound like my thing at all, but I find myself strangely jealous of the author's surname. McQuestion? Does that woman even know the true implication of her name? Maybe the "distant star" is Calamity. 2
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 McQuestion? Does that woman even know the true implication of her name? Maybe the "distant star" is Calamity. So that's why Lucas mysteriously recovered from whatever illness he had! He's a healing Epic now! RUN, EMMA. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
+Slowswift Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 So gather round, ye members. Let the King of the Kobolds tell you a short but woeful story. These past couple of days my home has been visited by two guests--an old friend of my mother's and her 18 year-old daughter. We've been having a blast with them, but every now and then I'm left alone in the open living room with no one to talk to. When that transpires I pop open my laptop and check the 17th Shard, as I do in all my spare waking moments. And so I was browsing the forum, reading a post by the wonderful TwiLyghtSansSparkles, when I became suddenly aware of a delicate chin hovering directly over my shoulder. It was the aforementioned daughter, a young lady who has been the bane of my existence my off-and-on frenemy since we were both four. She was born two weeks ahead of me and makes sure I know it on every visit, and this week has taken great delight in claiming to be a manlier specimen of humanity than I. This is the young woman who was reading over my shoulder, taking in a post penned by a member with a flamboyant purple MLP avatar. Wit lost me. Sense oozed out of me. My frenemy's curious gaze swept over the screen. I uttered the first sentence which came to mind. "Th-the purple pony's not my profile picture!" I blurted, scooting my chair from the eavesdropping teenager. Her expression remained unchanged, as unreadable as ever. "What is your profile picture?" she asked curiously. What demons reside on her shoulder, egging her to ask that question at this time? What foul forces has she made pacts with, to have made such an inquiry at this precise moment? Regardless of the stray drop of sweat on my forehead, I tried and failed to give a smile and answered. "Well, I'm--it's a pony, but it's not a purple pony. Just for the record." Her expression remained solid, but I could swear her lips twinged upward in a slight and nigh-imperceptible smile. With a final glance at my screen, she turned her back to me, walking across the room to play another round of Tetris on her phone. And that is my secret, fellow Sharders. On the forum I am, by objective measurement, a giant of popularity and social poise, with no less than 14, 178 points to reward my wit and humor. In real life? I am naught but a buffoon, a blockhead, a bozo, a dork. Just thought you should know. This is too perfect not to ship. 4
Kobold King he/him Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 This is too perfect not to ship. ಠ_ಠ Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Sorry shippers, but this kobold reigns alone. 4
Guest Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 ಠ_ಠ Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Sorry shippers, but this kobold reigns alone. Keep telling yourself that, Kobold. Maybe in time you'll come to believe it.
Mailliw73 he/him Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Kobold gets embarrassed like the rest of us? He's a normal human?? WHAT?! 2
Delightful Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Ah Kobold, was she smiling mockingly, or smiling as in 'oh that's so cute he likes ponies!' ? Besides, ain't nothin wrong with purple ponies. If G-D wanted purple ponies to be distinctly feminine, then He wouldn't have made no male purple ponies now would He? 2
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 About to go to my graduation ceremony. What if I go to the wrong place? What if no one else from my college is there? What if I wear my regalia wrong? Aaarrrrghhhhh I read everything in the emails and I'm still confused! 1
Kobold King he/him Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 About to go to my graduation ceremony. What if I go to the wrong place? What if no one else from my college is there? What if I wear my regalia wrong? Aaarrrrghhhhh I read everything in the emails and I'm still confused! 2
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Thanks. I'm lined up now--by degree, not college, so I know I'm not in the wrong place. Now I wait. And wait.
mail-mi he/him Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 (edited) About to go to my graduation ceremony. What if I go to the wrong place? What if no one else from my college is there? What if I wear my regalia wrong? Aaarrrrghhhhh I read everything in the emails and I'm still confused! 0_oo_0 O_O Why in Calamity's name were you wearing REGALIA at your graduation ceremony?!?!? ... Edited May 17, 2015 by mail-mi 4
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 0_o o_0 O_O Why in Calamity's name were you wearing REGALIA at your graduation ceremony?!?!? ... What else do you do with a motivator? 2
Kobold King he/him Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 What else do you do with a motivator? "And tonight we celebrate the graduation of Danielle SansSparkles--lest she raise her arms and destroy the campus with the awesome power of a tsunami. So let's give her a big hand!" (I kid, of course. I have no doubt you earned your diploma without resorting to bending the elements to your will. ) 3
mail-mi he/him Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 "And tonight we celebrate the graduation of Danielle SansSparkles--lest she raise her arms and destroy the campus with the awesome power of a tsunami. So let's give her a big hand!" (I kid, of course. I have no doubt you earned your diploma without resorting to bending the elements to your will. ) (I'm not sure, she is willing to show her uncovered safehand to the entire internet. ) 5
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 (I'm not sure, she is willing to show her uncovered safehand to the entire internet. ) I summon tsunamis with my uncovered safehand. 4
Kobold King he/him Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 (edited) I summon tsunamis with my uncovered safehand. Why do I think this could be the cover of a pulp fiction magazine on Roshar? A gorgeous woman in a torn dress, raising a safehand with barely a scrap of cloth on it as an enormous highstorm comes hurtling from the horizon. I think it'd make quite a few spheres, personally. You should model for a fan artist and tell us how it turns out. Edited May 17, 2015 by Kobold King 1
Delightful Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 So gather round, ye members. Let the King of the Kobolds tell you a short but woeful story. ...... . So yesterday I saw a probably 40 year old woman wearing a BRONY shirt and my first thought was 'well, Kobold shouldn't feel alone. There are plenty other bronies hiding among us....' 4
Kobold King he/him Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 (edited) So yesterday I saw a probably 40 year old woman wearing a BRONY shirt and my first thought was 'well, Kobold shouldn't feel alone. There are plenty other bronies hiding among us....' I've taken to wearing my Periodic Table of Ponies T-shirt in public, so maybe I'll find some of those ere much longer. And now for something completely different: For some reason this happens to me all the time. Edited May 18, 2015 by Kobold King
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 (edited) I've taken to wearing my Periodic Table of Ponies T-shirt in public, so maybe I'll find some of those ere much longer. And now for something completely different: For some reason this happens to me all the time. Translation: Twi needs to learn that posts made on mornings when she wakes up early should be subject to extra scrutiny before posting because her overuse of the "hide" function is apparently driving her friends to madness. Edited May 18, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles 1
Kobold King he/him Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Translation: Twi needs to learn that posts made on mornings when she wakes up early should be subject to extra scrutiny before posting because her overuse of the "hide" function is apparently driving her friends to madness. Darn it. I meant to hide that post before you got the chance to respond to it. It's perfectly fine. Though I confess I don't get the rationale for most of your post-hidings, considering you've gleefully posted ship-fics involving RP supervillains and their hats while deleting posts containing legitimately thought-provoking questions. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Darn it. I meant to hide that post before you got the chance to respond to it. It's perfectly fine. Though I confess I don't get the rationale for most of your post-hidings, considering you've gleefully posted ship-fics involving RP supervillains and their hats while deleting posts containing legitimately thought-provoking questions. Hey, that ship actually made sense in context of the character being drunk and himself. As the hour of 4 AM is past, questions about fingernails no longer make sense. 1
Kobold King he/him Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 (edited) Hey, that ship actually made sense in context of the character being drunk and himself. As the hour of 4 AM is past, questions about fingernails no longer make sense. Yeah, but it's the Question thread. Posts there are so far beyond context, light from their context is visibly redshifted before reaching the posts. Posts there are so far beyond context, the Hubble Constant has to be factored into calculating the distance between them and their proper context. Posts there are so far beyond context, the light emitted by their context traveled for years before reaching the posts. Posts there are so far beyond context, a ball of twine capable of connecting posts with their proper context could wrap around Jupiter seventeen times and still be long enough to reach Alpha Centauri. Posts there are so far beyond context, if their context exploded in a fiery mushroom cloud it would take decades for the posts to hear the explosion. Posts there are so far beyond context, the Midgard Serpent could put its mouth on their proper context, stretch itself to its full length, and still not reach the posts. Have I made my point yet? Edited May 18, 2015 by Kobold King 4
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