Mental health club!

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

13 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

You’re not broken. 

No one is. 

This is my biggest stand point.

if you have anxiety or depression your not broken, or suffering. 

You’re just different. And thats good thats ok.

 

12 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

*huuuuuug*

This

I guess I'm just a stress mess but that doesn't make me deserve any less

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

 

I guess I'm just a stress mess but that doesn't make me deserve any less

It's okay buddy

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, echo74 said:

sure

for me it can be like being completely spaced out so much so that i forget who i am, where i am, and what i'm doing

but like i can still do the work while being completely zoned out of life if you know what i mean

and then when i come back i don't remember like any of it

and it's a little bit of "woah. i'm real." kinda moment "life's real."

i also think of myself in the third person occasionally which is less of dissociative behavior and has more with the fact to do with that i've been reading since i was 3 years old

(also apparently excessive childhood reading is a dissociative behavior as well)

also just the feeling like you don't really exist

like you're not really a person

like everyone else is a person but you're just not a person

not even like low self-worth just that you literally forget that you matter and exist to other people in the same they do to you

it's kinda like feeling like an observer in your own life

like you're just detached from the world

like on the inside you're one person

but like on the outside you don't even exist

i don't really know how to explain it but hopefully that helps?

Hmmm it does.

is it the same thing if i just frequently zone out while doing stuff and then zone back in like what. Like the other day in math i was drawing a line on my paper then i zoned out and when i came back i had ripped a line all the way through my packet going almost all the way up and down all of the pages. And also a face was drawing on my paper at some point. I have a small memory of some of it but like i was watching a movie and not controlling me. 

 

On another topic. Im pretty sure i am subconsciously repressing memories. Cause my mom says that when i was a kid my dad used to yell at my mom a lot but i dont remember any of that. Appenerlty he used to be really mean but. No matter how hard i try i cant remember any of that.

11 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

 

I guess I'm just a stress mess but that doesn't make me deserve any less

*huugggieeee*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

3 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

Hi ok i have a vent but it does entirely reveal my age. I am not going to actually SAY my real age, I'm not that insane, only a little bit. But it's pretty obvious if you decide to use the magic of inference. I am placing my trust in you guys, who I have told things I have not told my friends, or even mother. Please don't betray that trust, the internet is a scary place. If you don't really need to know the full story, the nutshell is that I got waitlisted in something because of my ADHD.

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Ok so my top choice for hs (yeah i warned y'all, i am a BABY) (i'm an early bday though) waitlisted me!! They're also the only school that asked for my ADHD diagnosis, fun times, fun times. And like why?? How does that matter??? All the schools I applied to are rigorous (...norma why would you do this norma ily you're one of the coolest old ladies i've ever met but WHY) (Norma is in charge of the hs process), and I'd expect maybe wanting to see the full diagnosis from the really, really academic ones where that's all they're known for, super hard classes and homework (yay for new york/new jersey and their insane schools amagad what and why is a college prep school) but my top choice isn't even really known for that. It's supposedly the least-snotty of the snotty all girls schools. Ugh anyways. Oh and one of my schools still hasn't put out their emails of acceptance it's been three days they NEED to get their stuff together lol. Anyways, I'd like it if no one brought up my age again, and just kinda kept it out of stuff. I'm probably young enough to be at least like one of y'all's daughter. I am a little silly baby who barely made the gen z cut lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

moral of the story prestigious schools suck and i am two years old 

*hug*

geez

1 hour ago, Clinically insane said:

That’s real.

one time i was like, oh yeah everyone gets panic attacks…. No some people haven’t had one before. 

And like those feelings of worthlessnesss. SOME PEOPLE DONT HAVE THEM. What do you mean your confident in yourself and dont constantly see flaws on why your useless and should die. WHAT DO YOU MEAN you look at your art and think it looks good. HOW TELL ME HOW

heheheh me every few days

1 hour ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Eh...

If you say so...

Bro one of my friends won't stop telling people I'm not okay and she keeps telling them I'm bipolar and I'm like

I'm fine, [her name]. Stop it.

And she's like...

"Hey will you go to therapy?"

I'm like ripping my hair out over it because I def get sad and have some issues but she seems to think I'm like deeply and innately broken.

I don't need all the people I know thinking I'm bipolar

bruh -__-

*hug*

43 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

Hmmm it does.

is it the same thing if i just frequently zone out while doing stuff and then zone back in like what. Like the other day in math i was drawing a line on my paper then i zoned out and when i came back i had ripped a line all the way through my packet going almost all the way up and down all of the pages. And also a face was drawing on my paper at some point. I have a small memory of some of it but like i was watching a movie and not controlling me. 

 

On another topic. Im pretty sure i am subconsciously repressing memories. Cause my mom says that when i was a kid my dad used to yell at my mom a lot but i dont remember any of that. Appenerlty he used to be really mean but. No matter how hard i try i cant remember any of that.

*huugggieeee*

dang

*hug*

 

So yeah kinda going off that a little I've been repressing my emotions my whole life and it's been really coming out the past six months or so and I feel awful and I want to get out of this house but I feel like I'm so powerless to do anything and before it was other people's choices holding me back but now it's my own choices because I'm too depressed and I feel too worthless to actually do anything and I feel like I'm just doomed to be useless and my family just keeps telling me those things to and it's really not helping but I've found support in my bf and you guys and that's helping but things are just getting worse and worse and I wish they would just leave me alone but it's so painful and everything . . .

so yeah

strugglesssss

yayyyyyy

[Wittles he/him]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

geez

heheheh me every few days

bruh -__-

*hug*

dang

*hug*

 

So yeah kinda going off that a little I've been repressing my emotions my whole life and it's been really coming out the past six months or so and I feel awful and I want to get out of this house but I feel like I'm so powerless to do anything and before it was other people's choices holding me back but now it's my own choices because I'm too depressed and I feel too worthless to actually do anything and I feel like I'm just doomed to be useless and my family just keeps telling me those things to and it's really not helping but I've found support in my bf and you guys and that's helping but things are just getting worse and worse and I wish they would just leave me alone but it's so painful and everything . . .

so yeah

strugglesssss

yayyyyyy

*hug*

I know it doesn't really fix the problem, but you're definitely not worthless. life is scary and it's way too much sometimesall the time

59 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

Hmmm it does.

is it the same thing if i just frequently zone out while doing stuff and then zone back in like what. Like the other day in math i was drawing a line on my paper then i zoned out and when i came back i had ripped a line all the way through my packet going almost all the way up and down all of the pages. And also a face was drawing on my paper at some point. I have a small memory of some of it but like i was watching a movie and not controlling me. 

 

On another topic. Im pretty sure i am subconsciously repressing memories. Cause my mom says that when i was a kid my dad used to yell at my mom a lot but i dont remember any of that. Appenerlty he used to be really mean but. No matter how hard i try i cant remember any of that.

*huugggieeee*

*hug* 

Trauma induced memory repression is so scary, like...there could be really bad things that happened that you just, completely forgot

 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Wittles said:

*hug*

I know it doesn't really fix the problem, but you're definitely not worthless. life is scary and it's way too much sometimesall the time

thanks

i've just been told that most of my life and even though it was never too bad it got really bad these past few months

yup

*hug*

[Keke They/he]

11 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

geez

heheheh me every few days

bruh -__-

*hug*

dang

*hug*

 

So yeah kinda going off that a little I've been repressing my emotions my whole life and it's been really coming out the past six months or so and I feel awful and I want to get out of this house but I feel like I'm so powerless to do anything and before it was other people's choices holding me back but now it's my own choices because I'm too depressed and I feel too worthless to actually do anything and I feel like I'm just doomed to be useless and my family just keeps telling me those things to and it's really not helping but I've found support in my bf and you guys and that's helping but things are just getting worse and worse and I wish they would just leave me alone but it's so painful and everything . . .

so yeah

strugglesssss

yayyyyyy

*HUGS*

yayyyyyhhhhh

6 minutes ago, Wittles said:

*hug*

I know it doesn't really fix the problem, but you're definitely not worthless. life is scary and it's way too much sometimesall the time

*hug* 

Trauma induced memory repression is so scary, like...there could be really bad things that happened that you just, completely forgot

 

Yeah.

my moms all like. “How come you only hate me even though your dad was just as badbut nooooo im the bad guy you all love dad so much even though he was just as bad as me.”

IM OSRRY ITS NOT MY FAULT

i dont remember 90 percent of living in rocksprings or anything like that!

and she gets frustrated that i have trauma with her and not dad. Maybe it’s cause whenever you would scream at us and get that close to smacking us! And did a few times! You hurt my siblings and me!And guess who defended us! Dad, gesuss what only got worse when dad left. The yelling!

Im osryy dad treated you like rust but maybe you shouldnt have treated us poorly. I gert that she was treated bad but that doesn’t mean you traumatize your children! 

Ok dad may have been bad but he fixed himself better then you did becayse HE NEVER stormING HURT US!\

 

dang.

that

was a lot. Holy cow.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

*HUGS*

yayyyyyhhhhh

Yeah.

my moms all like. “How come you only hate me even though your dad was just as badbut nooooo im the bad guy you all love dad so much even though he was just as bad as me.”

IM OSRRY ITS NOT MY FAULT

i dont remember 90 percent of living in rocksprings or anything like that!

and she gets frustrated that i have trauma with her and not dad. Maybe it’s cause whenever you would scream at us and get that close to smacking us! And did a few times! You hurt my siblings and me!And guess who defended us! Dad, gesuss what only got worse when dad left. The yelling!

Im osryy dad treated you like rust but maybe you shouldnt have treated us poorly. I gert that she was treated bad but that doesn’t mean you traumatize your children! 

Ok dad may have been bad but he fixed himself better then you did becayse HE NEVER stormING HURT US!\

 

dang.

that

was a lot. Holy cow.

gosh

*huuuuuug*

[Wittles he/him]

1 minute ago, Clinically insane said:

*HUGS*

yayyyyyhhhhh

Yeah.

my moms all like. “How come you only hate me even though your dad was just as badbut nooooo im the bad guy you all love dad so much even though he was just as bad as me.”

IM OSRRY ITS NOT MY FAULT

i dont remember 90 percent of living in rocksprings or anything like that!

and she gets frustrated that i have trauma with her and not dad. Maybe it’s cause whenever you would scream at us and get that close to smacking us! And did a few times! You hurt my siblings and me!And guess who defended us! Dad, gesuss what only got worse when dad left. The yelling!

Im osryy dad treated you like rust but maybe you shouldnt have treated us poorly. I gert that she was treated bad but that doesn’t mean you traumatize your children! 

Ok dad may have been bad but he fixed himself better then you did becayse HE NEVER stormING HURT US!\

 

dang.

that

was a lot. Holy cow.

*hug*

That really sucks. Parents can really suck

I'm really sorry you have to deal with that. 

*another hug, just for good measure*

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

gosh

*huuuuuug*

 

Just now, Wittles said:

*hug*

That really sucks. Parents can really suck

I'm really sorry you have to deal with that. 

*another hug, just for good measure*

*huggggs*

dont hate me.

please.

most of that was in the past.

it just gets brought up whenever people argue. And yesterday there was a big argument between my mom dad and foster brother. 

And when i asked my dad after it to please next time Yall are gonna yell go into another room he was all like “we didn’t even raise our voice” all atitudly then i snap. “It doesn’t matter! I could hear you over my game and music both loud. Argue in another room. Arguing born g up bad memories.” Then he nods and goes. “Ok well go to the bedroom next time.” As more of an after thought. Like whatever. Like he didn’t care. And my brain thinks im back in the past so im trying not to have a panic attack. But. I didnt have anyone to talk to. And i didnt want a lecture from my mom about how i should “work on it in counseling” as if one session can undo a lifetime of trauma. I AM YOU IDIOT BUT YOU WONT STORMIGN STOP PRESSURING ME.

i stg i was so close to running away.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Clinically insane said:

 

*huggggs*

dont hate me.

please.

most of that was in the past.

it just gets brought up whenever people argue. And yesterday there was a big argument between my mom dad and foster brother. 

And when i asked my dad after it to please next time Yall are gonna yell go into another room he was all like “we didn’t even raise our voice” all atitudly then i snap. “It doesn’t matter! I could hear you over my game and music both loud. Argue in another room. Arguing born g up bad memories.” Then he nods and goes. “Ok well go to the bedroom next time.” As more of an after thought. Like whatever. Like he didn’t care. And my brain thinks im back in the past so im trying not to have a panic attack. But. I didnt have anyone to talk to. And i didnt want a lecture from my mom about how i should “work on it in counseling” as if one session can undo a lifetime of trauma. I AM YOU IDIOT BUT YOU WONT STORMIGN STOP PRESSURING ME.

i stg i was so close to running away.

*huuuuug*

That's awful

I'm so sorry, Hawks

Parents can really suck, can't they :)

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*huuuuug*

That's awful

I'm so sorry, Hawks

Parents can really suck, can't they :)

*hug*

Thanks. I just needed to get it out. Holy cow that was the most I've told anyone at once about my life. 

[Wittles he/him]

4 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

 

*huggggs*

dont hate me.

please.

most of that was in the past.

it just gets brought up whenever people argue. And yesterday there was a big argument between my mom dad and foster brother. 

And when i asked my dad after it to please next time Yall are gonna yell go into another room he was all like “we didn’t even raise our voice” all atitudly then i snap. “It doesn’t matter! I could hear you over my game and music both loud. Argue in another room. Arguing born g up bad memories.” Then he nods and goes. “Ok well go to the bedroom next time.” As more of an after thought. Like whatever. Like he didn’t care. And my brain thinks im back in the past so im trying not to have a panic attack. But. I didnt have anyone to talk to. And i didnt want a lecture from my mom about how i should “work on it in counseling” as if one session can undo a lifetime of trauma. I AM YOU IDIOT BUT YOU WONT STORMIGN STOP PRESSURING ME.

i stg i was so close to running away.

*hug*

I've been there

You should know that you didn't do anything wrong in that situation. You were very much in the right. Even though it ended up bad, you were brave standing up like that. 

Anyway...Idk if that helped or if I was just being obnoxious, but either way, there you go

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

3 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

*hug*

Thanks. I just needed to get it out. Holy cow that was the most I've told anyone at once about my life. 

Of course

*biggest hugs*

[Wittles he/him]

3 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

*hug*

Thanks. I just needed to get it out. Holy cow that was the most I've told anyone at once about my life. 

Good job getting that all out, that's a lot to deal with alone

[Keke They/he]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Of course

*biggest hugs*

*biggerest hugs*

4 minutes ago, Wittles said:

*hug*

I've been there

You should know that you didn't do anything wrong in that situation. You were very much in the right. Even though it ended up bad, you were brave standing up like that. 

Anyway...Idk if that helped or if I was just being obnoxious, but either way, there you go

No you’re alright, that was good. *huuggies* thanks

1 minute ago, Wittles said:

Good job getting that all out, that's a lot to deal with alone

Thanks 

[Shatter He/Him]

13 hours ago, The Sly Cookie said:

If any of you didn't know, I just got through a huge wave of depression that has lasted several months. I would like to say that if any of you feel down, even if you are as low as I was, meaning that you had thoughts of sewerslide, there is a way out of that darkness and it is a difficult journey. As I have recently learned, many people see there goal way up in the sky, never realizing or even seeing the mountain in front of us that leads to that goal. It doesn't matter how you get up there, whether it is difficult or not, but there will always be a way to reach our goals. Remember that there are other climbers out there that go through the same thing as you, they know your struggles and your weaknesses, and it is up to you to let them aid you in your climb to the top. I have also learned that when we are struggling, we tend to put up walls unintentionally, these walls do not help us, they only hurt. They can push others away and it can ruin us. It is important to not be afraid of asking for help. I know it sounds difficult to just let those walls crumble, but for us to survive in our current world, we need others to help us grow through our trials. I don't know how many of you are religious, but one thing one of my church leaders taught me was that our trials are like a stone being refined by a rock tumbler, it may hurt to go through, because of all of the grit, but when we are finished with those trials, we end up smooth and refined. He told me that God puts those trials in our lives to strengthen us, to smoothen us out. They are there because he loves us enough to teach us to grow and learn through tough experiences. I am so glad to have you all in my life, I don't know to many of you, but you all have been a great influence in my life for the good of it. You guys saved my life just a few days back and it has brought me so much joy. However, I still have trials and I thank God every day for giving them to me, to help me learn and grow. He also puts other people in our lives to bless us as angels on earth. These people may not even realize that they are performing and enacting a miracle towards this person. Many of you went to my aid when I sent a distress call about ending my life, but because so many of you told me you cared, so many of you guys, even those I never talk with, I am still here, still alive and well, breathing, and giving this message to all of you. You guys are a great contribution to my joy and I want to thank you all for your kindness, inclusion, and care. My heart is so full with joy that I cannot comprehend. I love all you guys, thank you all.

-Cookie

Same thing in Judaism. My bar mitzvah speech was about Abraham's Trials and my challenges (not disabilities) and how God gave them to me so I can be strengthened. I likened it to how carbon under pressure turns into a diamond. We are all unmade (not Unmade) diamonds (not on Roshar though… no value in diamonds there). 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

Same thing in Judaism. My bar mitzvah speech was about Abraham's Trials and my challenges (not disabilities) and how God gave them to me so I can be strengthened. I likened it to how carbon under pressure turns into a diamond. We are all unmade (not Unmade) diamonds (not on Roshar though… no value in diamonds there). 

ohhhh

that's beautiful

[Shatter He/Him]

Also, as someone very wise (@#1 Taln Fan) once said:

Edited February 25, 2025 by The Shattered Cosmere

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

2 hours ago, KnightSkye said:

Just came across this and it seemed relatable, and like people here might relate too.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

YES 

yeah

yeah pretty much

1 hour ago, Clinically insane said:

Hmmm it does.

is it the same thing if i just frequently zone out while doing stuff and then zone back in like what. Like the other day in math i was drawing a line on my paper then i zoned out and when i came back i had ripped a line all the way through my packet going almost all the way up and down all of the pages. And also a face was drawing on my paper at some point. I have a small memory of some of it but like i was watching a movie and not controlling me. 

 

On another topic. Im pretty sure i am subconsciously repressing memories. Cause my mom says that when i was a kid my dad used to yell at my mom a lot but i dont remember any of that. Appenerlty he used to be really mean but. No matter how hard i try i cant remember any of that.

*huugggieeee*

Dang

*hug*

48 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

geez

heheheh me every few days

bruh -__-

*hug*

dang

*hug*

 

So yeah kinda going off that a little I've been repressing my emotions my whole life and it's been really coming out the past six months or so and I feel awful and I want to get out of this house but I feel like I'm so powerless to do anything and before it was other people's choices holding me back but now it's my own choices because I'm too depressed and I feel too worthless to actually do anything and I feel like I'm just doomed to be useless and my family just keeps telling me those things to and it's really not helping but I've found support in my bf and you guys and that's helping but things are just getting worse and worse and I wish they would just leave me alone but it's so painful and everything . . .

so yeah

strugglesssss

yayyyyyy

Dangx2

*squeeze*

What's your current plan? 

25 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

*HUGS*

yayyyyyhhhhh

Yeah.

my moms all like. “How come you only hate me even though your dad was just as badbut nooooo im the bad guy you all love dad so much even though he was just as bad as me.”

IM OSRRY ITS NOT MY FAULT

i dont remember 90 percent of living in rocksprings or anything like that!

and she gets frustrated that i have trauma with her and not dad. Maybe it’s cause whenever you would scream at us and get that close to smacking us! And did a few times! You hurt my siblings and me!And guess who defended us! Dad, gesuss what only got worse when dad left. The yelling!

Im osryy dad treated you like rust but maybe you shouldnt have treated us poorly. I gert that she was treated bad but that doesn’t mean you traumatize your children! 

Ok dad may have been bad but he fixed himself better then you did becayse HE NEVER stormING HURT US!\

 

dang.

that

was a lot. Holy cow.

17 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

 

*huggggs*

dont hate me.

please.

most of that was in the past.

it just gets brought up whenever people argue. And yesterday there was a big argument between my mom dad and foster brother. 

And when i asked my dad after it to please next time Yall are gonna yell go into another room he was all like “we didn’t even raise our voice” all atitudly then i snap. “It doesn’t matter! I could hear you over my game and music both loud. Argue in another room. Arguing born g up bad memories.” Then he nods and goes. “Ok well go to the bedroom next time.” As more of an after thought. Like whatever. Like he didn’t care. And my brain thinks im back in the past so im trying not to have a panic attack. But. I didnt have anyone to talk to. And i didnt want a lecture from my mom about how i should “work on it in counseling” as if one session can undo a lifetime of trauma. I AM YOU IDIOT BUT YOU WONT STORMIGN STOP PRESSURING ME.

i stg i was so close to running away.

 ever

That sounds awful, I'm so sorry 

 

I'm really lucky in that I've never really had trauma (except that one time at the emergency room. ahaha), my family is stable, my siblings are nice generally, and my life is just overall pretty good. 

But it's really hard to remember that sometimes, you know? On so many days the world just looks so bleak and lifeless and nothing seems worth living for. And then on other days I look around and ask myself why that person is being nice to me, or I judge people's tiny, in-the-moment choices like I know their goals and motivations. I see the tiniest, most innocent things as inherently manipulative. I don't put words in people's mouths, I put thoughts in their heads. And so, naturally, I respond as if that's all true. I try to make them not think I'm an awkward idiot, or a bad friend, or whatever the item of the day is. Sometimes I don't even know their name. Everyone's a book character and an author at the same time, intentionally using their personality and actions to be perceived a certain way. 

And me especially. 

I've noticed myself judging people like that more and more, and  I think it's because of a conscious effort I started back before I moved. I was really hard on myself and beat myself up for every little thing, so I told myself that I was gonna judge other people instead. Because it's probably a little more healthy to see other people's slight mistakes than to see my quirks as glaring flaws. 

So

I dunno. Sometimes I wish interacting with me came with a disclaimer. But it doesn't, and I don't know that it should. Maybe I'm right, and I'm the only one willing to talk about it and be overt. Maybe everyone else in the world really is like me. Or maybe I make molehills out of a perfectly smooth floor. 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Halcyon The Only said:

Dangx2

*squeeze*

What's your current plan? 

reapply. FlexGE if it really comes down to is

if all else fails uvu idk

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

9 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

reapply. FlexGE if it really comes down to is

if all else fails uvu idk

are you planning on moving out soon? 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

7 minutes ago, Halcyon The Only said:

are you planning on moving out soon? 

yes

when I go to college

until then it just makes sense to stay and make money idk I want to leave though

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

6 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

yes

when I go to college

until then it just makes sense to stay and make money idk I want to leave though

Yeah. Makes sense 

good luck  

[Keke They/he]

25 minutes ago, Halcyon The Only said:

YES 

yeah

yeah pretty much

Dang

*hug*

Dangx2

*squeeze*

What's your current plan? 

 ever

That sounds awful, I'm so sorry 

 

I'm really lucky in that I've never really had trauma (except that one time at the emergency room. ahaha), my family is stable, my siblings are nice generally, and my life is just overall pretty good. 

But it's really hard to remember that sometimes, you know? On so many days the world just looks so bleak and lifeless and nothing seems worth living for. And then on other days I look around and ask myself why that person is being nice to me, or I judge people's tiny, in-the-moment choices like I know their goals and motivations. I see the tiniest, most innocent things as inherently manipulative. I don't put words in people's mouths, I put thoughts in their heads. And so, naturally, I respond as if that's all true. I try to make them not think I'm an awkward idiot, or a bad friend, or whatever the item of the day is. Sometimes I don't even know their name. Everyone's a book character and an author at the same time, intentionally using their personality and actions to be perceived a certain way. 

And me especially. 

I've noticed myself judging people like that more and more, and  I think it's because of a conscious effort I started back before I moved. I was really hard on myself and beat myself up for every little thing, so I told myself that I was gonna judge other people instead. Because it's probably a little more healthy to see other people's slight mistakes than to see my quirks as glaring flaws. 

So

I dunno. Sometimes I wish interacting with me came with a disclaimer. But it doesn't, and I don't know that it should. Maybe I'm right, and I'm the only one willing to talk about it and be overt. Maybe everyone else in the world really is like me. Or maybe I make molehills out of a perfectly smooth floor. 

*hugs*

i get that. 

I think.

*hugs*