Mental health club!

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

47 minutes ago, Wittles said:

I love that worldbuilding, it's got a vibe to it that I really like

*maniacal laughter*

Y'all are getting appreciated whether you like it or not!

*whispers from under the desk (ugh school fridays should just be the weekend)* thank you

[Existential]

8 minutes ago, Magi said:

Yeah, sometimes I listen to weird or cringe stuff and I don't want to get judged.

valid. It's like when I listen to The Living Tombstone, I don't reaaaalllyyy want everyone hearing that

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

valid. It's like when I listen to The Living Tombstone, I don't reaaaalllyyy want everyone hearing that

OH YEAH LOL

Plus like, I can and will listen to the same song over and over again for an hour and a half, and I don't think that's considered normal behavior.

[Shatter He/Him]

I listen to this mix of soft rock (normal.), instrumental (ok…), and sea shanties (WTH?!).

[Existential]

Just now, Magi said:

OH YEAH LOL

Plus like, I can and will listen to the same song over and over again for an hour and a half, and I don't think that's considered normal behavior.

Nah, seems normal to me. I get hooked on one song or band for like a day or so and just listen to that, then sometimes transition into a playlist it just depends on my mood lol

[Mags she/they]

Just now, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

Nah, seems normal to me. I get hooked on one song or band for like a day or so and just listen to that, then sometimes transition into a playlist it just depends on my mood lol

Hmmmm alright then

still I think the people around me would be annoyed lol

[Existential]

3 minutes ago, Magi said:

Hmmmm alright then

still I think the people around me would be annoyed lol

valid

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

1 hour ago, Magi said:

Yeah, sometimes I listen to weird or cringe stuff and I don't want to get judged.

REAL like I love the music I listen to, and if someone asks me who my favorite artist is, I won't hesitate to say Ado. But the music is very loud, and since it's in Japanese, and people will just say "oh, you're listening to anime music." And don't get me wrong, I DO listen to anime soundtracks, they are fire, but it pmo so bad because it's just like??? no??? japan has non-anime music????

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, alittleinsane said:

REAL like I love the music I listen to, and if someone asks me who my favorite artist is, I won't hesitate to say Ado. But the music is very loud, and since it's in Japanese, and people will just say "oh, you're listening to anime music." And don't get me wrong, I DO listen to anime soundtracks, they are fire, but it pmo so bad because it's just like??? no??? japan has non-anime music????

OH MY GOSH YESSS
I listen to a decent amount of vocaloid, and the majority of it is J-pop so it has the same problem!! Ado is absolute fire as well.

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

1 minute ago, Magi said:

OH MY GOSH YESSS
I listen to a decent amount of vocaloid, and the majority of it is J-pop so it has the same problem!! Ado is absolute fire as well.

YESSSS OMG WHAT'S YOUR FAV VOCALOID SONG AND FAVE ADO SONGGGG??? Mine are -ERROR by Niki and Elf by Ado

[Mags she/they]

6 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

YESSSS OMG WHAT'S YOUR FAV VOCALOID SONG AND FAVE ADO SONGGGG??? Mine are -ERROR by Niki and Elf by Ado

FAV VOCALOID IS REALLY HARD, I LOVE RIN AND LEN, GUMI AND KAITO, BUT PROBABLY LISTEN TO MIKU THE MOST just because I hear her stuff more often

I haven't listened to as much Ado, but I love her aishete aishete aishete cover, RuLe, and Odo

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

1 minute ago, Magi said:

FAV VOCALOID IS REALLY HARD, I LOVE RIN AND LEN, GUMI AND KAITO, BUT PROBABLY LISTEN TO MIKU THE MOST just because I hear her stuff more often

I haven't listened to as much Ado, but I love her aishete aishete aishete cover, RuLe, and Odo

Yesssssss omg the aishete aishete aishete cover is so fire, omg the video of the live performance for the Wish tour...the set design plus the singing...suvnsifidvlansjknflcjkd i'm just a little obsessed. I can sing the first verse and chorus of aishete aishete aishete decently lol, my biggest flex

[Mags she/they]

5 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

Yesssssss omg the aishete aishete aishete cover is so fire, omg the video of the live performance for the Wish tour...the set design plus the singing...suvnsifidvlansjknflcjkd i'm just a little obsessed. I can sing the first verse and chorus of aishete aishete aishete decently lol, my biggest flex

Oh yeah I think I've seen that one!! That's amazing lol

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

11 hours ago, Just A Silvereye said:

and I finally start therapy tomorrow!

Yay! Therapy good  
 

14 hours ago, Thee insane said:

Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Depression

I wanna cry for ni reasonnnn̈nnnnnn̈

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhĥhhhhh

I feel like I'm ok. Everything around me is ok. 

BUTVAHAHAHAHAH 

i still wanna cry. 

I want a distraction or something. 

Are ya feelin any better today? *hugs*

2 hours ago, Magi said:

Is it bad that the second I forget my headphones, any desire to try at school vanishes. 

 

Yepppp valid, I hate working without music. I'm legit always listening to something like 90% of the time xD Music, audiobooks, or white noise when I'm sleepin'
Working out without music is even worse, I'll sometimes just turn back around if I forget my headphones

[Keke They/he]

Just now, #1 Taln Fan said:

Are ya feelin any better today? *hugs*

Yeah. Had that thing where you go to an activity and have a lot of fun then get home and be like, oh. I wish i was always that happy, and die inside.

*hugs*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 hours ago, Magi said:

Is it bad that the second I forget my headphones, any desire to try at school vanishes. 

Okay mostly it's just for my painting class, because it's impossible for me to focus without listening to something . . . but . . . oh well . . .

*huuuuuuug*

I hate it when I forget my earbuds.

. . .

*checks*

2 hours ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

valid. It's like when I listen to The Living Tombstone, I don't reaaaalllyyy want everyone hearing that

hol' up- you do?

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

2 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

Yeah. Had that thing where you go to an activity and have a lot of fun then get home and be like, oh. I wish i was always that happy, and die inside.

 

Yep I feel that  Times like those are when I recommend journaling. It's good to journal when you're feeling down, as it can help you process your emotions, but also it's good to write down the good times, so you can remember that there will be more fun days ahead. (Journaling is scientifically proven to be good for mental health, highly recommend)
That's kind of the eternal curse of bodybuilding/lifting tbh. When I'm at the gym, I have a good pump, and I look more muscular than normal because there's a lot of blood flowing to those muscles. But the other 23 hours in a day, I look small and weak by comparison. Half the reason I love working out is just for the pump, because it's the only time I feel like I look good xD

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 hours ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

*hug* I get you. @Through The Living Glass can confirm, I almost always have earbuds in, its a focus thing, and a practical thing I talked to teachers about, since it stops my ears from ringing lol

yup

[Mags she/they]

16 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Yepppp valid, I hate working without music. I'm legit always listening to something like 90% of the time xD Music, audiobooks, or white noise when I'm sleepin'

Yeah, , , , , at least I only have one class where I really need them, but that one class is gonna be a struggle 

[Keke They/he]

Do yall get this to?

Person: omg your so mopey and said bad stuff about yourself all the time. Ugh

Then later 

Me: hey I think I look really cute rn

Person: that's so prideful/egotistical omg have some humility.

Me trying to figure out the math of them. : HEH?

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

6 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

Do yall get this to?

Person: omg your so mopey and said bad stuff about yourself all the time. Ugh

Then later 

Me: hey I think I look really cute rn

Person: that's so prideful/egotistical omg have some humility.

Me trying to figure out the math of them. : HEH?

Sorta I have friends who get it more than me tho and there always telling me how annoying it is

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

32 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

Do yall get this to?

Person: omg your so mopey and said bad stuff about yourself all the time. Ugh

Then later 

Me: hey I think I look really cute rn

Person: that's so prideful/egotistical omg have some humility.

Me trying to figure out the math of them. : HEH?

society in a nutshell

*hug*

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

51 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

Do yall get this to?

Person: omg your so mopey and said bad stuff about yourself all the time. Ugh

Then later 

Me: hey I think I look really cute rn

Person: that's so prideful/egotistical omg have some humility.

Me trying to figure out the math of them. : HEH?

Ah yes, a prime example of the trash that is a large portion of the human race.

I hate when this happens. 

*hug*

[Existential]

Howdy y'all, I'm kinda just here on my soapbox today to share something interesting that developed over the last little bit

Trigger warning: topics of SH and other such topics

Spoiler

It's been a LONG 4 years. I've had a lot of downs, and reached the lowest I've ever been a few years back. I wanted to just go. I had a friend grab me and pull me away from a street. I had issues, running dull blades on my hands and arms, all such things as a depressed person would do. I put on face, I did an act. It was hell. Fast forward a year, and I got to high school. I was stressed beyond belief. My old friend group had just broken up and I had a lot on my plate at the time. I found most of my happiness in my work, and what I did then. The people, the support system, working, doing things, it made me feel great. But that only lasted for so long. Fast forward another year, to my Junior year of high school. I REALLY hoped things would be like the year before. They weren't. The old system in my Tech Crew was gone, as our heads had all graduated and left to do their things. Our new leader... treated us all like crap. Especially me. I just sunk again. During that fall show, I met a girl that Iliked, and "dated" (not really) for like a month, then some crap went down, she called me a lot of things behind my back, and I ended up breaking it off. I was beyond hurt. I just couldn't, and I had just opened myself up emotionally again. That's when I went to another girl to vent and just let it all out. She just listened. It was really nice. I got to a point of comfort where I wanted to see if she had anything. Anything at all. I learned a lot that New Year's Eve. I found someone who didn't just say what I wanted to hear, she said what I needed to hear. I hope I did that vice-versa. Move forward a few days, and I told this girl I had been absolutely crushing on her over that winter break. I panicked almost the whole day, given she wasn't able to respond till later that night. She told me she liked me too. I was shaking to the point of exhaustion, and almost passed out when I saw that message. I ended up asking her out, and from that point on panicking at every turn, hoping not to mess things up. Best part of my life so far was the moment I started dating her. It hasn't exactly been smooth sailing, but it's definitely been the best roller coaster I've ever been on. Fast forward a few months to Senior year. The year did not start off well.  A lot happened, and people fought, and caused a lot of problems. I almost quit tech. I was so close. But I endured. We lost 8 people at the end of the semester, and it was not great, but also really good at the same time. A lot of the toxicity left with the old leadership. I started feeling like I had a place there again. Fast forward a bit more, and at the height of the show, and my anniversary, I snap back at my mom for something after having a really crappy morning. My dad threatened to kick me out. Told me if I snap at my mom I would make a sh*t husband. I felt like absolute garbage. I was tempted to just leave. But I didn't. Between then and now, a lot happened. I got a lot of things done, I progressed a lot in what I want to do for a job, etc. Then comes the more bad news. My anxiety had never been as high as when I heard that GF didn't get accepted into college. I felt crushed, so did she. I was so scared. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to end up alone again. I care about her a lot. I almost never cry. I did that day. And the next. And the next. I went through a bit of an existential crisis about it all yesterday. I just broke down and almost shut down. So I sat and played games hoping to take my mind off it. It didn't work. But after I really thought about it all, I just felt... calm? I think that's right. My brain was quiet. I could think straight. I had almost 2 seperate personality types on and off my ADHD meds. But somehow, somewhere along the line yesterday something clicked. Those two types came and became one, and instead of fighting just gave me access to feel like I'm using my whole brain. I have energy, I feel overall just happier. I finally got it. I just had to put my life in perspective to understand it. I haven't ever felt this whole. It feels amazing. I feel like a person. I'm happy to be that way.

 Sorry if that was a lot, I just really needed to get that out. If you did read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's alright I fully understand. I guess I mostly did it just to get my thoughts out. I dunno. I know I feel better now though. 

 

Thanks for reading

 

And goodnight

[Through the Living Wrath he/him]

5 hours ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

Howdy y'all, I'm kinda just here on my soapbox today to share something interesting that developed over the last little bit

Trigger warning: topics of SH and other such topics

  Hide contents

It's been a LONG 4 years. I've had a lot of downs, and reached the lowest I've ever been a few years back. I wanted to just go. I had a friend grab me and pull me away from a street. I had issues, running dull blades on my hands and arms, all such things as a depressed person would do. I put on face, I did an act. It was hell. Fast forward a year, and I got to high school. I was stressed beyond belief. My old friend group had just broken up and I had a lot on my plate at the time. I found most of my happiness in my work, and what I did then. The people, the support system, working, doing things, it made me feel great. But that only lasted for so long. Fast forward another year, to my Junior year of high school. I REALLY hoped things would be like the year before. They weren't. The old system in my Tech Crew was gone, as our heads had all graduated and left to do their things. Our new leader... treated us all like crap. Especially me. I just sunk again. During that fall show, I met a girl that Iliked, and "dated" (not really) for like a month, then some crap went down, she called me a lot of things behind my back, and I ended up breaking it off. I was beyond hurt. I just couldn't, and I had just opened myself up emotionally again. That's when I went to another girl to vent and just let it all out. She just listened. It was really nice. I got to a point of comfort where I wanted to see if she had anything. Anything at all. I learned a lot that New Year's Eve. I found someone who didn't just say what I wanted to hear, she said what I needed to hear. I hope I did that vice-versa. Move forward a few days, and I told this girl I had been absolutely crushing on her over that winter break. I panicked almost the whole day, given she wasn't able to respond till later that night. She told me she liked me too. I was shaking to the point of exhaustion, and almost passed out when I saw that message. I ended up asking her out, and from that point on panicking at every turn, hoping not to mess things up. Best part of my life so far was the moment I started dating her. It hasn't exactly been smooth sailing, but it's definitely been the best roller coaster I've ever been on. Fast forward a few months to Senior year. The year did not start off well.  A lot happened, and people fought, and caused a lot of problems. I almost quit tech. I was so close. But I endured. We lost 8 people at the end of the semester, and it was not great, but also really good at the same time. A lot of the toxicity left with the old leadership. I started feeling like I had a place there again. Fast forward a bit more, and at the height of the show, and my anniversary, I snap back at my mom for something after having a really crappy morning. My dad threatened to kick me out. Told me if I snap at my mom I would make a sh*t husband. I felt like absolute garbage. I was tempted to just leave. But I didn't. Between then and now, a lot happened. I got a lot of things done, I progressed a lot in what I want to do for a job, etc. Then comes the more bad news. My anxiety had never been as high as when I heard that GF didn't get accepted into college. I felt crushed, so did she. I was so scared. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to end up alone again. I care about her a lot. I almost never cry. I did that day. And the next. And the next. I went through a bit of an existential crisis about it all yesterday. I just broke down and almost shut down. So I sat and played games hoping to take my mind off it. It didn't work. But after I really thought about it all, I just felt... calm? I think that's right. My brain was quiet. I could think straight. I had almost 2 seperate personality types on and off my ADHD meds. But somehow, somewhere along the line yesterday something clicked. Those two types came and became one, and instead of fighting just gave me access to feel like I'm using my whole brain. I have energy, I feel overall just happier. I finally got it. I just had to put my life in perspective to understand it. I haven't ever felt this whole. It feels amazing. I feel like a person. I'm happy to be that way.

 Sorry if that was a lot, I just really needed to get that out. If you did read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's alright I fully understand. I guess I mostly did it just to get my thoughts out. I dunno. I know I feel better now though. 

 

Thanks for reading

 

And goodnight

*hug*

Glad you’ve been feeling better!