Mental health club!

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

well yeah but like you have to look at your issues as a set of physical problems rather than something that nearly fits under an umbrella. 

idk what mine are tho

'sides there are some other (prolly minor) physicaal health/care things a bit not good rn but idk so idk

i wish i dint hafta think

i think

 

also ive been having awful/violent thoughts and uhm they dint rlly disturb me and they used to..

and sometimes i say them our loud to/around ppl and rhey get kinda concerned and i dont like it and i slso dint know if i care anymore ehich should scare me...?

thats unrelated seryy but i havnt tslked much wbtbit to snyone

sorry for bed typingim holding a soda

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

idk what mine are tho

'sides there are some other (prolly minor) physicaal health/care things a bit not good rn but idk so idk

i wish i dint hafta think

i think

 

also ive been having awful/violent thoughts and uhm they dint rlly disturb me and they used to..

and sometimes i say them our loud to/around ppl and rhey get kinda concerned and i dont like it and i slso dint know if i care anymore ehich should scare me...?

thats unrelated seryy but i havnt tslked much wbtbit to snyone

well okay just think of like a list

What problems are you facing that interfere with your life, what problems are you worried about becoming worse, and what causes them

so like, for example if you don't eat frequently, that would be a problem, and then the thing that causes it is probably "poor self care" and then you think about what causes that and it could be "I don't feel like I care about my body" and then there's your reason

or something like having violent thoughts, the problem is that they could get worse and you could start acting on them, putting others in harm. The cause is violent thoughts. and the cause of that could be many things but if they sorta appear out of nowhere then it would be "I keep on having these violent thoughts that come from seemingly nowhere and I'm worried that I might act on them someday"

then you present these issues to a professional and ask for advice on how to address or deal with them

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

well okay just think of like a list

What problems are you facing that interfere with your life, what problems are you worried about becoming worse, and what causes them

so like, for example if you don't eat frequently, that would be a problem, and then the thing that causes it is probably "poor self care" and then you think about what causes that and it could be "I don't feel like I care about my body" and then there's your reason

or something like having violent thoughts, the problem is that they could get worse and you could start acting on them, putting others in harm. The cause is violent thoughts. and the cause of that could be many things but if they sorta appear out of nowhere then it would be "I keep on having these violent thoughts that come from seemingly nowhere and I'm worried that I might act on them someday"

then you present these issues to a professional and ask for advice on how to address or deal with them

i dont rlly uhm have much opportunity to act on things

or i just secretly dont want to and they are fake

 

idk but good idea bye

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

i dont rlly uhm have much opportunity to act on things

or i just secretly dont want to and they are fake

idk but good idea bye

I wish I could help you more, but I really don't know what to say. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

I wish I could help you more, but I really don't know what to say. 

its alright

 

ehy am i back

 

uhh luckily most/all the thoughts arent at other peolple but ate at me or "wtrangers" (random faceless ppl i made up, like just situations) or at like..... ..... pets/ppls pets/animals?.... uhh

 

i daydream about doing bad things to myself/having them done to me/having them happen and i cant wait to make them reality

 

but uh i pribably wont im probbly scared like last time

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

its alright

 

ehy am i back

 

uhh luckily most/all the thoughts arent at other peolple but ate at me or "wtrangers" (random faceless ppl i made up, like just situations) or at like..... ..... pets/ppls pets/animals?.... uhh

 

i daydream about doing bad things to myself/having them done to me/having them happen and i cant wait to make them reality

 

but uh i pribably wont im probbly scared like last time

wanting to harm yourself or even daydreaming/looking towards it is like, a major red flag. like a "call ems" kinda point. or a hotline. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

wanting to harm yourself or even daydreaming/looking towards it is like, a major red flag. like a "call ems" kinda point. or a hotline. 

it gives me a rush sometimesss

like agoodfeeling one

 

it doesnt feel disturbing it feels good i dont eanna go thru that wgain tho (hospital/inpatient)

i think im doing it for bad ressons

maybe the ggood feeling feeling is just the stupid me wanting help or reassurance dopamin e crap ppppp

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

it gives me a rush sometimesss

like agoodfeeling one

it doesnt feel disturbing it feels good i dont eanna go thru that wgain tho (hospital/inpatient)

... you have no idea how concerned I am for your safety rn...

okay well let me ask you this is there anything I can do right now to help you

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

 

oh also u dont needa feel pressured to help or anything if u cant or its too much or u dont wanna

cuz thats bad anyway

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

 

oh also u dont needa feel pressured to help or anything if u cant or its too much or u dont wanna

cuz thats bad anyway

do you really think that I could see someone like you struggling and just turn around and not care about it? I could never live with knowing I left someone behind. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

17 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

... you have no idea how concerned I am for your safety rn...

okay well let me ask you this is there anything I can do right now to help you

uhm idk thx

17 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

do you really think that I could see someone like you struggling and just turn around and not care about it? I could never live with knowing I left someone behind. 

idk i dont think im steuggling

eepecially when i feel hapy

 

oh uhm also what it i have the somatofor. thingy and my trans is just fake 

tbh i dont rlly see why my saefty mmatters and the only think i look forward to is hurting myself and stuf

 

edit: ugh i also just feel eereird and cant thinkk of anything like i dont even think about hurting myself like i did last night and its weird cuz like its harder to pocture it and idk idk i get anxiety panic stuff things thinking abt it or having to answer quesitons

idk...

maybe its dependent on time of day or summmin or its just gone or something or nothbing

 

but i srill feel rlly like sick and appetite is awful and thinking of drinking water feels sickening and ive been deinking more like sips like slowly small amounts or just not becuz

 

edit2: god ado when ppl compliment me i feel hotrible and idk i love it and feel horrible and horribly anxious too like eaiting for the bad stuf or sayin the bad stuff to myself or seeing bad stuff in what they say or how its generic or fake or how i dont deserve it or like why cant i accept it or how to act or thank them or like ehy are they saying all this nice stuff when im so ... idk when i wasnt loke that when i was am bad or lame or stupid or foolish or everything or lazy like gah gah gah i know i should accept them and it feels good and bad at once

and thinking of self harm makes me sick now and idk why and i feel conflicted about what to do with my life and naybe i shoukd actually care abt myself and idk idk idk idk idk

 

also @Aeoryi im sorry for all this and actong like this and stuff

 

also when i dont live up to compliments or feel pressure to or isk idk then they expect me good and idk 

Edited July 9 by Usseewa

[Mystfall He/Him]

@Taln(not sure whether to ping or not) if/when you see this, do you mind if I PM you about something?

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

1 hour ago, Mystfall said:

@Taln(not sure whether to ping or not) if/when you see this, do you mind if I PM you about something?

Go for it, my PMs are always open
(and you're always fine to ping me)

[Mystfall He/Him]

3 hours ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Go for it, my PMs are always open
(and you're always fine to ping me)

Thank you

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

TW Self-harm

Spoiler

I really need advice or something. I have to get a blood draw/test tomorrow. I also kinda did some self-harm on my arms and I was not thinking because I didn't realize the connection and stuff (edit: like two weeks ago, maybe. Maybe some more recent there too idk.) So now I have these new stuff on my arms and they're, like, fading but.. I doubt they'll go away or become less noticeable by tomorrow.

It's not really as bad as last time, but it's noticeable and I don't know if I can do anything especially cuz if they see it they'll know, with my history (people are aware of my previous self-harm).

I don't know what to do and I really hate this because I don't see any solution, besides trying to cover them up or just tell people. I really don't want to tell, because... sigh because I don't I don't know I'm scared and worried and I hate this and wish I'd... I don't know I wish I'd either been smarter or not done it. I'd wish I'd not done those.

They also won't really blend in with my others because they are like longer so even if they were more faded.. idk.

And covering up probably isn't good anyway right?

Sigh sigh

I just don't want to get sent somewhere again, I really don't want it... Then everything would've been for nothing. I want to get better on my own or not or whatever. I want to get better on my own..

I don't want them to know I did it again. I don't want to be like this and I want to be okay I want everything to be okay I don't want worries to exist.

I don't know what to do. There might be another option but I don't know I just want them gone, the i dont even know what to call them the scratches cuts marks scars. It feels like my life is basically over, tomorrow.

 

Edited 2 hours ago by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

TW Self-harm

  Hide contents

I really need advice or something. I have to get a blood draw/test tomorrow. I also kinda did some self-harm on my arms and I was not thinking because I didn't realize the connection and stuff (edit: like two weeks ago, maybe. Maybe some more recent there too idk.) So now I have these new stuff on my arms and they're, like, fading but.. I doubt they'll go away or become less noticeable by tomorrow.

It's not really as bad as last time, but it's noticeable and I don't know if I can do anything especially cuz if they see it they'll know, with my history (people are aware of my previous self-harm).

I don't know what to do and I really hate this because I don't see any solution, besides trying to cover them up or just tell people. I really don't want to tell, because... sigh because I don't I don't know I'm scared and worried and I hate this and wish I'd... I don't know I wish I'd either been smarter or not done it. I'd wish I'd not done those.

They also won't really blend in with my others because they are like longer so even if they were more faded.. idk.

And covering up probably isn't good anyway right?

Sigh sigh

I just don't want to get sent somewhere again, I really don't want it... Then everything would've been for nothing. I want to get better on my own or not or whatever. I want to get better on my own..

I don't want them to know I did it again. I don't want to be like this and I want to be okay I want everything to be okay I don't want worries to exist.

I don't know what to do. There might be another option but I don't know I just want them gone, the i dont even know what to call them the scratches cuts marks scars. It feels like my life is basically over, tomorrow.

 

I mean they might not do anything about it. That's what I've observed in the past. Depends where you're getting the blood test though.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I mean they might not do anything about it. That's what I've observed in the past. Depends where you're getting the blood test though.

no people will and its..complicated cuz..

sigh

point is someone's gonna probably be there with me other than whoevers doing the draw and so that person will know

unless by luck of ado they arent.. but i cant rely on luck and some slim hope that isnt even something reasonable

[Aeoryi she/her]

32 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

no people will and its..complicated cuz..

sigh

point is someone's gonna probably be there with me other than whoevers doing the draw and so that person will know

unless by luck of ado they arent.. but i cant rely on luck and some slim hope that isnt even something reasonable

Can you cancel the blood draw or delay it?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Can you cancel the blood draw or delay it?

Probably not 

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Probably not 

can you ask to not have that other person there?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

can you ask to not have that other person there?

i dont know because they might be suspicious

and even then i dont know what the person drawing the blood will say

but it would be better without the other person

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

i dont know because they might be suspicious

and even then i dont know what the person drawing the blood will say

but it would be better without the other person

I mean you can just say that the other person makes you more nervous and that you'd like them not to be there. Even if they're suspicious at least they're not present for the blood draw at least

 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡They ✾]

10 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I mean you can just say that the other person makes you more nervous and that you'd like them not to be there. Even if they're suspicious at least they're not present for the blood draw at least

 

im worried how they'll reactt if i say anything