Mental health club!

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

If it helps, I feel the same.

At least I did for a while.

 

And, it doesn't matter if someone has it worse than you, it's not a competition, or shouldn't be.

 

I know how you feel though.

No but less that my feelings don’t mean anything, but that i made them up. Because i have a long history of forcing myself to have emotions 

[Usseewa]

Just now, Verdance said:

No but less that my feelings don’t mean anything, but that i made them up. Because i have a long history of forcing myself to have emotions 

I feel that too.

But.. even if you make yourself depressed, in the end you're still depressed.

 

If you're feeling very down one day, and you force yourself to feel happy, and it works, then is that so wrong?

I guess it's a little different, or feels different, but also ask yourself why you're making yourself feel that way?

 

For me, perhaps the most prevalent naturally-occurring emotion is anger. I think that's a side effect of depression or something.

But, I'm sure you've sometimes felt genuine emotions you didn't have to force yourself to feel. Like, if you aren't paying attention to your mind and then you realize you're smiling at a joke or just.. something, like nature. Or the same but you suddenly realize you're sad. Idk if this is helping at all lol.

Besides.. if you have a hard time with emotions and need to force yourself to feel them, that could be an issue itself. Maybe related to depression or something, idk. Have you talked with a therapist about it? I'm just saying you could probably get some help for it, if you want to feel emotions more.

 

Idk, maybe I misunderstood or something.

 

Yeah..

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

I feel that too.

But.. even if you make yourself depressed, in the end you're still depressed.

 

If you're feeling very down one day, and you force yourself to feel happy, and it works, then is that so wrong?

I guess it's a little different, or feels different, but also ask yourself why you're making yourself feel that way?

 

For me, perhaps the most prevalent naturally-occurring emotion is anger. I think that's a side effect of depression or something.

But, I'm sure you've sometimes felt genuine emotions you didn't have to force yourself to feel. Like, if you aren't paying attention to your mind and then you realize you're smiling at a joke or just.. something, like nature. Or the same but you suddenly realize you're sad. Idk if this is helping at all lol.

Besides.. if you have a hard time with emotions and need to force yourself to feel them, that could be an issue itself. Maybe related to depression or something, idk. Have you talked with a therapist about it? I'm just saying you could probably get some help for it, if you want to feel emotions more.

 

Idk, maybe I misunderstood or something.

 

Yeah..

Probably more related to autism actually 

but yeah you’re right 

It’s kind of okay to be happy even if it doesn’t mean anything 

[Usseewa]

Just now, Verdance said:

Probably more related to autism actually 

Oh yeah, true

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

It’s kind of okay to be happy even if it doesn’t mean anything 

Why would it not mean anything?

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

Oh yeah, true

Why would it not mean anything?

Like… depression is more profound than amusement ?

[Usseewa]

2 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Like… depression is more profound than amusement ?

True, I think I get it.

But you also can't really do anything in life.

 

Maybe this next part applies to me more than you (or maybe both, idk), but is it better to be locked in a room writing about/reflecting on the outside world, or is it better to experience it yourself? For me, I write about wanting to live, and yet here I am, not living. Idk.

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

True, I think I get it.

But you also can't really do anything in life.

 

Maybe this next part applies to me more than you (or maybe both, idk), but is it better to be locked in a room writing about/reflecting on the outside world, or is it better to experience it yourself? For me, I write about wanting to live, and yet here I am, not living. Idk.

Well if you keep storming up like i do then maybe its good to take a break

or to get clarity and try to stop SH’ing 

but in general dont be passive in your life

[Usseewa]

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

Well if you keep storming up like i do then maybe its good to take a break

or to get clarity and try to stop SH’ing 

but in general dont be passive in your life

Just... one.. more...

 

edit:

hey, at least I haven't SH'd today.

Huh, just realized. To be fair I also slept in and played Celeste for an hour or two.

Also... I ate some lunch today! (I skipped the last two days...)

 

  

3 minutes ago, Verdance said:

but in general dont be passive in your life

Yeah, true.

Edited May 10 by Usseewa

[Shatter He/Him]

50 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

The cuts aren't that deep or long... do I need to keep using bandages for a while? I don't really have enough.

Thanks

 

It's kinda hard to type or use computer for a long time, because it gets uncomfortable. And of course I cut myself on both arms so my dominant one too...

I'd say use bandages on them just for a couple days.

49 minutes ago, Verdance said:

*sigh*
its actually messing with me how much every depressed person ik has it worse than me

almost invalidating? Like, i feel like im reliving how i played up my feelings for my crush, but this time im playing up my depression 

I think I'm mostly fine. Mostly. I get depressed sometimes, but I'm busier worrying about my direction in life. I'm more or less too worried to be depressed. I don't have the time to mope anymore.

27 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Just... one.. more...

 

edit:

hey, at least I haven't SH'd today.

Huh, just realized. To be fair I also slept in and played Celeste for an hour or two.

Also... I ate some lunch today! (I skipped the last two days...)

Good. Have you had water today? If not, go drink some water.

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Shatter said:

I'd say use bandages on them just for a couple days.

I think I'm mostly fine. Mostly. I get depressed sometimes, but I'm busier worrying about my direction in life. I'm more or less too worried to be depressed. I don't have the time to mope anymore.

Good. Have you had water today? If not, go drink some water.

Thats prob also a thing that exists

my life has been school 200% of the time, taking care of myself 50% of the time, and occasionally appearing here on the Shard

[Usseewa]

1 minute ago, Shatter said:

I'd say use bandages on them just for a couple days.

I think I'm mostly fine. Mostly. I get depressed sometimes, but I'm busier worrying about my direction in life. I'm more or less too worried to be depressed. I don't have the time to mope anymore.

This is the second day, I think. Maybe third, idk.

 

Also I didn't do bandages for all of them, even if they bled a little, cuz I can't spare. Or I didn't notice the blood until later.

 

Are u stressed? U can probs be stressed and depressed, idk.

 

Also:

Spoiler

Finally

[Shatter He/Him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

This is the second day, I think. Maybe third, idk.

 

Also I didn't do bandages for all of them, even if they bled a little, cuz I can't spare. Or I didn't notice the blood until later.

 

Are u stressed? U can probs be stressed and depressed, idk.

 

Also:

  Reveal hidden contents

Finally

I'm too stressed. I am probably so stressed that it's unhealthy. 

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

This is the second day, I think. Maybe third, idk.

 

Also I didn't do bandages for all of them, even if they bled a little, cuz I can't spare. Or I didn't notice the blood until later.

 

Are u stressed? U can probs be stressed and depressed, idk.

 

Also:

  Hide contents

Finally

*google, what does 988 mean*
*oh*
*OH*

 

[Usseewa]

3 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Thats prob also a thing that exists

my life has been school 200% of the time, taking care of myself 50% of the time, and occasionally appearing here on the Shard

How do you summon the care to take care of yourself?

I do it a bit I think, but not enough.

At least I'm finally getting plenty of sleep.

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

How do you summon the care to take care of yourself?

I do it a bit I think, but not enough.

At least I'm finally getting plenty of sleep.

I dont, i ignore my family to take a shower 

no idea tbh

[Usseewa]

Just now, Verdance said:

*google, what does 988 mean*
*oh*
*OH*

 

I already utilized them twice

I wasn't that suicidal, mainly it was for self-harm

1 minute ago, Shatter said:

I'm too stressed. I am probably so stressed that it's unhealthy. 

You should try alleviating some, if possible.

Idk how close you are with your family but maybe they can help if u talk to them

[Shatter He/Him]

5 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

I already utilized them twice

I wasn't that suicidal, mainly it was for self-harm

You should try alleviating some, if possible.

Idk how close you are with your family but maybe they can help if u talk to them

I've never figured out how to alleviate the stress safely. It's always been a problem, and it usually leads to a mental breakdown at peak stress. That's basically the only way the 'pressure' gets released. 

I'm close with my family but they can't really help me with this.

I've also just lived a very stressful life after leaving home

Edited May 10 by Shatter

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Shatter said:

I've never figured out how to alleviate the stress safely. It's always been a problem, and it usually leads to a mental breakdown at peak stress. That's basically the only way the 'pressure' gets released. 

I'm close with my family but they can't really help me with this.

I've also just lived a very stressful life after leaving home

Wait did you have a good home life

cause im leaving home in a few months in the hope that it will alleviate stress

[Shatter He/Him]

Just now, Verdance said:

Wait did you have a good home life

cause im leaving home in a few months in the hope that it will alleviate stress

I had a difficult teenage life, mostly because of the choices I made. I was loved, but I behaved poorly much of the time. I regret it, but not much I can do anymore. I burnt multiple bridges, and I can't move back in with them because I don't mesh well with the family.

I also think way too much about the future. That adds a lot to my stress levels. 

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Shatter said:

I had a difficult teenage life, mostly because of the choices I made. I was loved, but I behaved poorly much of the time. I regret it, but not much I can do anymore. I burnt multiple bridges, and I can't move back in with them because I don't mesh well with the family.

thats me

did moving out cause or allieve stress?

(how the scud do you spell allieve)

[Shatter He/Him]

Just now, Verdance said:

thats me

did moving out cause or allieve stress?

(how the scud do you spell allieve)

(alleviate)

Depends on what you do next. I went to college and failed out.

[Usseewa]

Just now, Verdance said:

thats me

did moving out cause or allieve stress?

(how the scud do you spell allieve)

alleviate

 

2 minutes ago, Shatter said:

I had a difficult teenage life, mostly because of the choices I made. I was loved, but I behaved poorly much of the time. I regret it, but not much I can do anymore. I burnt multiple bridges, and I can't move back in with them because I don't mesh well with the family.

I also think way too much about the future. That adds a lot to my stress levels. 

Oh, you moved out already? I mean I've known you/been on the Shard for.. wow, already like 4-5 months, so I guess things change. I thought you were still livin' with family.

Just now, Shatter said:

(alleviate)

Depends on what you do next. I went to college and failed out.

Oh, that sucks

 

But, you can always go back later in life if you so choose.

 

Do you have support IRL? Friends?

[Shatter He/Him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

alleviate

 

Oh, you moved out already? I mean I've known you/been on the Shard for.. wow, already like 4-5 months, so I guess things change. I thought you were still livin' with family.

I've been out since September 1, 2025

[Usseewa]

1 minute ago, Shatter said:

I've been out since September 1, 2025

Oh, well do you have any support, like friends or coworkers if you have a job?

[Shatter He/Him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

Oh, well do you have any support, like friends or coworkers if you have a job?

HA. no.

I have no job currently and I'm in a city where I have little support

My father is currently trying to convince me to go into a skilled trade, even though I don't really want to. He probably has the best idea because he knows me well and has travelled much of the same path. He dropped out of school, joined the military, became an electrician and an architectural draughter, went back to school, got a Bachelor's in Engineering technology, and then a Master's in Building Science, and became a science and tech teacher. 

I eventually want to get a Master's in Astrophysics. 

I've mostly given up on university for now. I need to raise my high school grades, and I need a job.