fake quotes from sun tzu - Sun Tzu, Art of War

[AltonicKeys he/him]

"Have you guys listened to Tame Impala? How many people do you think is in that band? 3? 5 maybe? Well did you know it's just one guy? Isn't that wild, it's just one guy making all that music?"

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[Clarkmon22 He/Him]

On 11/2/2025 at 8:44 AM, IcedOutPenguin said:

"Well you see, I've been farming potato's." - Sun Tzu, On the Art of War 

PO-TAY-TOES - Sun Tzu, the Art of the Wars

@Ancient Elantrian

"Disclaimer. Do not try any of this at home. The author of this book is an internet cartoonist, not a health or safety expert. He likes it when things catch fire or explode, which means he does not have your best interests in mind. The publisher and author disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects resulting, directly or indirectly, from information contained in this book." - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"It's a trap!" - Sun Tzu, Art Wars

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

9 minutes ago, Clarkmon22 said:

PO-TAY-TOES - Sun Tzu, the Art of the Wars

@Ancient Elantrian

"Disclaimer. Do not try any of this at home. The author of this book is an internet cartoonist, not a health or safety expert. He likes it when things catch fire or explode, which means he does not have your best interests in mind. The publisher and author disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects resulting, directly or indirectly, from information contained in this book." - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"It's a trap!" - Sun Tzu, Art Wars

Quote

Hahaha yesss

"Hakuna matata"

- Sun Tzu, The Art of Warthogs

[Clarkmon22 He/Him]

20 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

"Hakuna matata"

- Sun Tzu, The Art of Warthogs

"What a wonderful phrase" - Sun Tzu, The Art of Warth

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

"My elbow hurts..."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

[-ACE- he/him]

"Its dangerous to go alone. take this "

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Spoiler

Yes. with the emoji, in case you were wondering. 

 

Edited November 4, 2025 by -ACE-

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

"There is, of course, a legal, standard way within the guilds for a crew to mutiny, a protocol that has lasted for centuries. A senior crew member, preferably the executive officer/first mate, but possibly the chief engineer, chief technician, chief physician or, in genuinely bizarre circumstances, the owner’s representative, would offer the ship’s imperial adjunct a formal Bill of Grievances Pursuant to a Mutiny, consistent with guild protocol. The imperial adjunct would confer with the ship’s chief chaplain, calling for witnesses and testimony if required, and the two would, in no later than a month, either offer up with a Finding for Mutiny, or issue a Denial of Mutiny.

In the case of the former, the chief of security would formally remove and sequester the captain of the ship, who would face a formal guild hearing at the ship’s next destination, with penalties ranging from loss of ship, rank, and spacing privileges, to actual civil and criminal charges leading to a stint in prison, or, in the most severe cases, a death sentence. In the case of the latter, it was the complaining crew member who was bundled up by the chief of security for the formal guild hearing, etc, etc.

Obviously, no one was going to do any of that."

- Sun Tzu, the Art of War

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for one day. But set fire to him, and he's warm for the rest of his life.

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country. This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

When outnumbered, outweaponed, and outpositioned, don't fight a battle.

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

 

Spoiler

Ngl some could actually have been in the book

Spoiler

the last one is probably pastiching him in fact

 

 

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

When in doubt, use C4. – Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[Nathrangking he/him]

The art of war requires one to use grenades and Greek fire.- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

“There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.” 

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

On 11/4/2025 at 1:15 PM, Just A Silvereye said:

Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for one day. But set fire to him, and he's warm for the rest of his life.

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country. This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

When outnumbered, outweaponed, and outpositioned, don't fight a battle.

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Ngl some could actually have been in the book

  Reveal hidden contents

the last one is probably pastiching him in fact

 

 

This is amazing. 

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[Keke They/he]

“Fight the fairies. FIGHT THE FAIRIES.” 

- sun tzu, the art of war

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

"Doesn't matter, I'm still holding all the cards! And every one is a full house. Never played cards before, been meaning to learn."

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I don't want your [REDACTED] lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see LIFE'S MANAGER! Make life RUE THE DAY it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! Gonna get my engineers to invent a COMBUSTIBLE LEMON that'll BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!"

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Edited January 22 by NerdyAarakocra
Cave Johnson Lemon Rant

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

On 1/22/2026 at 3:36 PM, NerdyAarakocra said:

"Doesn't matter, I'm still holding all the cards! And every one is a full house. Never played cards before, been meaning to learn."

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I don't want your [REDACTED] lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see LIFE'S MANAGER! Make life RUE THE DAY it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! Gonna get my engineers to invent a COMBUSTIBLE LEMON that'll BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!"

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"Most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you've been under for quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage! But don't be alarmed, all right? Uh, although if you do feel alarmed, try to hold on to that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

10 hours ago, KnightSkye Reforged said:

"Most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you've been under for quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage! But don't be alarmed, all right? Uh, although if you do feel alarmed, try to hold on to that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

(Spoilered to save space)

Spoiler

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[Unintelligenius he/him]

"I came. I saw. I conquered"

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

"I came. I saw. I went home again because it was boring." - Sun Tzu, Art of War 

[Akimikoisthecutest]

"*angry gremlin noises*"

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

 

"The stab is immense."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

 

On 10/26/2024 at 8:02 PM, TwinStorm said:

I am inevitable.

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

"And I am Iron Man"

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

Edited April 9 by Akimikoisthecutest

[Invested Flautist He/him]

"Huh. That tastes weird." 

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

A whole new wooooooorld!

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War 

 

 

Oh no!!

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

"Whatever you do, do not leak all of your plans in a youtube video, you fool, you moron." - Sun Zu, the art of war

"You know that quote from technoblade, Whatever you do, do not leak all of your plans in a youtube video, you fool, you moron. We all know the one." - Sun Zu, the art of war

"You're expecting this to be tedious. You're expecting this to be boring. There were just enough layers at the top to let them get into a grove, falling right into my trap. Furthermore, spikes :3. Call me Sam Reich the way I've been here the whole time *awkward laugh*" - Sun Zu,  The Art of War

[Conure1243 He/Him]

"We'll continue after a quick message from my sponsor..."

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

(I just found this thread, and this was my first thought)

[Adonalsium Will Return He/him]

"Know your-next slide, please- enemy."

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[Usseewa]

"Every soldier asks themselves, 'will I die tomorrow?' The answer is, find out next time on Cannonball Z!" 

-Sun Tzue, The Art of War

Edited May 8 by Usseewa

[Verdance he/him]

“The true victor is not the one who defeats his enemy, but the one that baits his enemy into making an insensitive comment on twitter and uses the time he would have spent in heated combat to watch the next season of Invincible”

-Tun Szu, War of Art