Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Lord_of_Awesome]

17 minutes ago, Djarskublar said:

It is finished. In its current state. You don't pass, obviously. Your bane is that you are forever wondering what if, especially in regards to your thesis.

I wish for the location of the Pits, and transportation to them.

Granted. You are taken to the Pits... as a criminal enslaved by the Lord Ruler to dig out Atium. Your life is hell, and you can never escape.

 

I wish to control the world's nuke codes with no obstructions to me firing them.

[hoidhunter he/him]

Granted. As there are no obstructions to you firing them (including your own hesitation) you become responsible for the attempted extermination of all life on the planet.  Fortunately all missiles are safely intercepted and you are imprisoned for life.

For your bane...Brandon knows that you are responsible for this and makes sure that you never get to read another word of anything he writes.

i wish for any person attempting violent action to immediatly experience the sensation of being kicked in the genitals, stomach and face at the same time.

[ShadowLord_Lith he/him]

Granted, though this means bye-bye all meat products. And wheat. Your bane is that everyone knows who caused this planetary famine and they lock you in solitary and completely shut off all sensations flowing to your brain. I.e. Touch, taste, smell, sight, hearing, etc... 

 

I wish for the ability to be unable to commit ANY truly evil act.

[Lord_of_Awesome]

Granted. You are locked in an obsidian cell to prevent you from comitting anything evil. You stay in said cell for the rest of your miserable life, and everyone forgets you exist.

EDIT: The cell is thousands of miles below ground, so far down that you hang above a pot of lava.

 

 

I wish to read every Sanderson book ever, with no obstruction to me reading AND remembering it.

 

 

Edited September 20, 2016 by Lord_of_Awesome
Unclear bane.

[PantsForSquares he/him]

Granted, but the meta-Sanderson Avalanche permanently damages your mind.

I wish to be a full Feruchemist.

[Oversleep]

2 minutes ago, PantsForSquares said:

Granted, but the meta-Sanderson Avalanche permanently damages your mind.

I wish to be a full Feruchemist.

Granted. You discover you are a Feruchemist just a moment before Inquisitors attack Synod. You are captured, interrogated, tortured and killed by spike.

I wish... for a slice of bread?

[Lord_of_Awesome]

Granted. The slice of bread tastes delicious.

Your bane: You constantly feel like punching everyone you meet, and if your temper overtakes you, you commit Grand Theft Auto.

I wish for humanity to be as wise as Taravangarian on his "better days", just short of passing a law that makes the populace commit suicide.

[PantsForSquares he/him]

Granted, but everyone also feels all of the guilt that their increased compassion causes, and the world is collectively less logical.

I wish for the ability to make amazing desserts of all types.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted. Pastries, cakes, cupcakes, waffles, jello... these all go into your oven/freezer/whatever looking quite questionable, but nobody can deny the amazingness that they are when they're completely finished. The Nightwatcher even throws in the opportunity to have your own cooking show.

Your bane is that every shoe you see looks like a modified banana peel, and smells vaguely like bananas too.

I wish for every storming spider in this entire storming building were evicted and no pest would ever enter in again.

[PantsForSquares he/him]

1 hour ago, Brightness Enna said:

The Nightwatcher even throws in the opportunity to have your own cooking show.

Your bane is that every shoe you see looks like a modified banana peel, and smells vaguely like bananas too.

Ooh, my own cooking show. The bane-ana is alright - kinda like that one guy who just saw the world upside down. I'll get used to it, I suppose.

1 hour ago, Brightness Enna said:

I wish for every storming spider in this entire storming building were evicted and no pest would ever enter in again.

Granted, but when the Glorious Spider Revolution eventually takes over, your building will be the last bastion of humanity. Your bane is that you'll be the only one there.

Forever.

I wish for my own theme song to go along with my Nightwatcher-sponsored cooking show.

[Lord_of_Awesome]

Granted. The song sounds like the theme of Game of Thrones, and you get jailed for copyright infringement. Fortunately your food is so good that you get employed as the cook with $100k annual pay until the end of your 3 year sentence. You get your own house within the prison, away from the other prisoners.

Your bane is that the jail is in Damnation.

 

I wish to become CEO of Microsoft, so that I can do the world a service and make Age of Empires 4.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

 

14 hours ago, PantsForSquares said:

The bane-ana is alright - kinda like that one guy who just saw the world upside down. I'll get used to it, I suppose.

That's kinda what I was going for, actually. Baxil implies in his interlude that most banes can be lived with and hidden. I try to sort of aim for that

12 hours ago, Lord_of_Awesome said:

I wish to become CEO of Microsoft, so that I can do the world a service and make Age of Empires 4.

Granted. Satya Nadella (the current CEO) mysteriously contracts a fatal disease. His last words are recorded and broadcasted live - "Lord... of... Awesome... is my... heir... Give him... carte... blanche..." He then dies and you become CEO. Somehow it even works out legally. You make Age of Empires 4.

Your bane is that the public is now prejudiced against you. The game is everything you wanted it to be and more, but everybody hates it. Due to your leadership, everyone does their best to switch to Linux or MacOS and Microsoft spirals, causing a horrible PC OS monopoly by Apple.

I wish for a few time management suggestions.

[Elenion he/him]

On 9/21/2016 at 0:21 AM, Lord_of_Awesome said:

I wish to become CEO of Microsoft, so that I can do the world a service and make Age of Empires 4.

That would be a great service indeed.

On 9/21/2016 at 1:24 PM, Brightness Enna said:

causing a horrible PC OS monopoly by Apple.

No!!!!!! [insert Frodo GIF here]

On 9/21/2016 at 1:24 PM, Brightness Enna said:

I wish for a few time management suggestions.

Granted. A book full of them appears right in front of you.

Your bane is that you are unable to see the faces of all clocks, watches, etc. They just look blank, and you have to do a lot of asking about the time.

I wish for a Tesla Model 3.

[Lord_of_Awesome]

On Friday, 23 September 2016 at 11:17 AM, Elenion said:

I wish for a Tesla Model 3.

Granted. You get a ruined car, that blows up your garage.

 

Your curse is that the car was Brandon's one that was stolen, and he blames you for it being destroyed, so you never read another Sanderson book again.

 

I wish for UNLIMITED POWER!!!!

[ShadowLord_Lith he/him]

I remember how this goes, granted. You gain one thermonuclear battery that can power anything from a flashlight to a car. It never runs out of power though it is thermonuclear, so the government wants it. 

 

Your bane is that you can no longer eat wheat or wheat by-products again, under penalty of them becoming three foot long, green, venomous snakes from the very lowest pits of the underworld. 

Edited September 28, 2016 by ShadowLord_Lith

[Brightness Enna she/her]

On 9/22/2016 at 5:17 PM, Elenion said:

I wish for a Tesla Model 3.

Aside - my dad texted me a joke in the middle of calculus today: If you drive a Tesla and it gets stole, is it now called an Edison?

On 9/28/2016 at 5:53 AM, ShadowLord_Lith said:

Your bane is that you can no longer eat wheat or wheat by-products again, under penalty of them becoming three foot long, green, venomous snakes from the very lowest pits of the underworld. 

And you forgot to wish for something! You hereby obtain all the banes that have accumulated in free parking since the last poor soul forgot to wish. 

I wish to be an electrum compounder. (Determination would come in very handy when it comes time to do homework. I'm a horrible procrastinator.)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

5 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

I wish to be an electrum compounder. (Determination would come in very handy when it comes time to do homework. I'm a horrible procrastinator.)

This. This is literally me. I feel your pain. Unfortunately for you, the nightwatcher does not. Your wish is granted, but in return the nightwatcher gives you a horrible case of insomnia. Which makes for an interesting combo with your determination...
I wish for the ability to flip water bottles flawlessly.

[Lord_of_Awesome]

7 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I wish for the ability to flip water bottles flawlessly.

Speaking of procrastination...

 

Granted, you can now flip bottles effortlessly. But the next bottle you flip will spontaneously combust, killing you instantly and blasting a crater the size of the Pentagon. You are, however, unaware of this.

 

The curse is that you are suddenly in a room filled with TNT and bottles.

 

I wish for people to stop feeling hatred of me after I become CEO of Microsoft.

 

YAY, I'm a bridgeman now! Bridge Four!

Edited September 30, 2016 by Lord_of_Awesome
Bridge Four!

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

On 9/29/2016 at 9:19 PM, Lord_of_Awesome said:

I wish for people to stop feeling hatred of me after I become CEO of Microsoft.

The nightwatcher grins evilly as she hears the wording of your request.

People will stop hating you after you become CEO of Microsoft. Until then however, their hatred of you is greatly amplified. Because everyone hates you, they don't ever end up putting you in charge of Microsoft.

I wish for an awakened hemalurgic spike.

[manukos he/him]

On 6/10/2016 at 8:43 PM, Drake Marshall said:

I wish for an awakened hemalurgic spike.

grated however it is awekened by someone else with the order : pierce and it lunges in your eye. now you are under Ati's contol 

i would say harmony but ... u ask for cool boons u get bad banes

 

lets see i would i ask for lerasium

Spoiler

i am skrewed arent I?

 

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... Yes. Yes you are.

The nightwatcher grants your boon. You get enough lerasium to make you as powerful as the lord ruler.

In exchange, you are bound to a Scadrial version of the oathpact. Odium attacks Scadrial and you are doomed to endure centuries of torture on Braize, like Talenel did.

I wish for some chouta.

[DarkJester]

Granted. You now have chouta with shells and cremling claws. For your bane, all of your senses get swapped with each other. You now see with your tongue, hear with your nose, feel with your ears, smell with your eyes, and taste with your skin...All of your skin...

 

For my wish, I ask for a life time supply of pop cycles.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Um, okay. Granted. 

Bane: your temperature perception becomes opposite what it should be. For example, fire is colder than snow and air conditioning is like a heater. 

I wish for all the half finished series on my bookshelf to be completed up to the written point (no timey wimey stuff here) with physical books. 

[goody153]

7 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

Um, okay. Granted. 

Bane: your temperature perception becomes opposite what it should be. For example, fire is colder than snow and air conditioning is like a heater. 

I wish for all the half finished series on my bookshelf to be completed up to the written point (no timey wimey stuff here) with physical books. 

Granted but you are only allowed to read the worst of them all.

I wish i could stop being an idiot on the things that matter.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. You can stop being an idiot on the things that matter. But you are too much of an idiot to do so, even though you now have the capacity to.

I wish for a pile of cloth.