Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Brightness Warrior she/her]

Granted. It is 2-dimensional, and so is unable to interact with a table in any way... or with any part of this dimension. 

I wish that I were immune to getting headaches.

[Honorless he/him]

57 minutes ago, Brightness Warrior said:

Granted. It is 2-dimensional, and so is unable to interact with a table in any way... or with any part of this dimension. 

I wish that I were immune to getting headaches.

Granted, you no longer have a head

(come on, that was so easy! You had to have seen that one coming)

I wish for money (preferably a lot of it!) 

[Mushroom Catalog he/him]

Granted, you wake up one morning and see piles upon piles of million dollar bills laying in your driveway. Your neighbors do to. They each grab a handful. Soon, there are mansions everywhere, then the economy collapses because the money becomes worthless. Then everybody starves in the Great Depression 2.0.

Your bane is that everytime you buy something, you sneeze on the money and make it disgusting. You can either bully the poor cashier, or try again. And again.

I wish that I could stop breaking things unless I want to break them.

[Elend Venture he/him]

2 hours ago, Mushroom Catalog said:

...then the economy collapses because the money becomes worthless. Then everybody starves in the Great Depression 2.0.

Ow, that struck way too close to the truth. We're actually hitting another recession right now (in Europe and the US at least).

2 hours ago, Mushroom Catalog said:

I wish that I could stop breaking things unless I want to break them.

    Granted. You stop breaking things and start breaking people. 

Your boon is that there are now a bunch of broken people out there, becoming Radiants, all wanting revenge on you.

     I wish for the manufacture of wolfram-core bullets in the United States of America to be legal.

Edited October 15, 2019 by Elend Venture

[Mushroom Catalog he/him]

24 minutes ago, Elend Venture said:

Ow, that struck way too close to the truth. We're actually hitting another recession right now (in Europe and the US at least).

Oh. Yeah, I'm kind of clueless...

Granted, they become legal.

Your bane is that your neighbor immediately shoots you in the arms. And apparently, something goes boom?

I wish that I had a nice person who did my math homework for me every day, does the homework with the correct answers, and doesn't dislike or hate me for it.

[Elend Venture he/him]

"Granted. They are truly indifferent but feign kindness and possibly love for you...in exchange for copious amounts of money. "

"Bam!" Said the Nightwatcher, "A boon and a bane packed into one!"

I wish for an abrasive and crass person to chat politics and exchange dirty jokes with.

[Edgedancer_of_spirits]

Sure. That person is yourself. 

I wish for people I hate to fall in love with a single dog.

[Elend Venture he/him]

"Granted, but it is your dog they follow, and it is messy, because they are all jealous lovers. Ten of them and your dog all kill one another in rages of passion in the first week. This is your bane."

I wish that when I talked politics and joked with myself that I had differing opinions, because now our debates are storming boring.

Edited October 15, 2019 by Elend Venture

[Brightness Warrior she/her]

5 hours ago, Elend Venture said:

I wish that when I talked politics and joked with myself that I had differing opinions, because now our debates are storming boring.

Granted! You now have an identity crisis even worse than Shallan, as you have no idea who you are and what you believe in.

I wish that my braces could be removed right now, without any body parts going with them.

[Honorless he/him]

2 hours ago, Brightness Warrior said:

Granted! You now have an identity crisis even worse than Shallan, as you have no idea who you are and what you believe in.

I wish that my braces could be removed right now, without any body parts going with them.

Granted, your teeth are now how they were before you got braces (so, no braces!)

Your bane is that your breath will always smell bad

I wish for all the Elder Scrolls games, for free

Edited October 16, 2019 by Honorless

[Brightness Warrior she/her]

Granted. You find corrupted copies on the Internet that contain a virus that only lets you play the offline t-rex game.

I wish I were fluent in Spanish, French, Italian, German, and Russian, as in, able to write, read, speak, and hear them all.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

2 hours ago, Brightness Warrior said:

Granted. You find corrupted copies on the Internet that contain a virus that only lets you play the offline t-rex game.

I wish I were fluent in Spanish, French, Italian, German, and Russian, as in, able to write, read, speak, and hear them all.

Granted. You can no longer understand English.

I wish for a cooler version of the T-rex game.

[NameIess]

34 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

I wish for a cooler version of the T-rex game.

Granted, every time you play it, the temperature in your room will drop to -30000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000. I could make it cooler if you want, though.

 your bane is that you will never get a good score on any test, and will never get a job.

[Honorless he/him]

6 hours ago, Llstml said:

Granted, every time you play it, the temperature in your room will drop to -30000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000. I could make it cooler if you want, though.

 your bane is that you will never get a good score on any test, and will never get a job.

That's physically not possible due to the fact that absolute zero (0° Kelvin) stands at -273.15° Celsius or 459.67° Fahrenheit

but eh, details

 

Since the last player didn't make a wish, let me launch it off again with a wish

I wish for... 

power

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Granted, power washes over you, obliterating your very existence.

I wish for the Power Stone.

[Edgedancer_of_spirits]

It breaks.

I wish for wishing washers and a school of wishiwashi.

[Honorless he/him]

3 hours ago, Edgedancer_of_spirits said:

I wish for wishing washers and a school of wishiwashi.

The Nightwatcher frowns, perhaps not comprehending or perhaps angry at not being able to comprehend human jokes or perhaps simply thinking that she was being mocked.

"Is that so, little supplicant?", she asks, "If nonsense words attract you so... I think I have just the boon for you and a fitting curse"

You are transported to Hogwarts. You are now Filch. "A school of wishy-washy, if you will", her voice echoed, "now for the other part of the wish, I shall take it literally. By which I mean..."

"Mr Filch" a voice interrupts. You turn to see a hawk-nosed man with greasy hair walking towards you, smiling unpleasantly. "I have a task for you", he said, "a while ago someone stole some of the Felix Felicis I had made and tried to..." his lips curled "mix it with water in a misguided attempt to make more of it"

He looked at you, his curled lip turning from a bad caricature of a smile to something resembling true pleasure.

"The problem is", he continued, "only three people had access to my workshop. Me, Professor Dumbledore and you. I do not appreciate being stolen from, Mr Filch! But perhaps we can come to an agreement"

Yup, that was definitely genuine happiness in Snape's eyes, you thought.

"You will scrub clean the cauldrons of House Slytherin. Recently they tried to make the very same potion that you stole. Do not try to interrupt me! I know it was you! Who else would be so uneducated so as to put water in it! Filthy Squib! And even if it wasn't you who stole it who else could've been so lousy with keeping the keys safe from children? I do surely hope you'll not suggest that me or Professor Dumbledore could ever make that mistake?"

You stare at him. Too much had happened and too fast.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" he snarled at you, "quit gaping, get to it!"

As you still stood there, completely dumbfounded, the Nightwatcher's voice echoed again "your curse is that in this place of magic, you shall be the outcast. You will get to see magic but never cast it"

Numb, you could hear the smile in her voice. No, you thought desperately....

 

I wish for the standard triad of superpowers (the Superman package): super strength, flight, invulnerability

Edited October 17, 2019 by Honorless

[Mushroom Catalog he/him]

Granted, but everytime you try to do anything useful, somebody important to you gets kidnapped, held hostage, and you fail to save them and fail to do said useful thing.

I wish for somebody to tell me how to use a set of points to decide whether it's a squiggly line, a circle, a straight line, or something else using python code.

Edit: Either that, or that I got an 100% grade on my math test I just took

Edited October 17, 2019 by Mushroom Catalog
Excessively convoluted wish

[NameIess]

Granted, you will be unable to understand a word of their explanation.

 

I wish to be admitted entrance to the Cosmere without a Visa, and not to be caught by border control and deported.

[Edgedancer_of_spirits]

Granted, you get caught by raging mistborn on your way in.

I wish for Subnautica VR

[One_Armed he/him]

Granted, you are now drowning at a random place in the Pacific ocean.

I wish that Brandon sanderson will finish writing all his planned books.

[Edgedancer_of_spirits]

Gurglemurglegurgle (You can’t read them.)  gurglegurgle (I wish to live in slime rancher.

[Honorless he/him]

4 hours ago, Edgedancer_of_spirits said:

Gurglemurglegurgle (You can’t read them.)  gurglegurgle (I wish to live in slime rancher.

Granted, as boon (you read that right, since what you asked for is definitely curse material) you can take a break between games to come back out into the real world and have free food.

[AonEne he/him]

I wish to live one day in the world of TKND with the main characters, then return home unharmed. 

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted. You have to say hi to Ben for me 

I wish for a single pepperoni.