Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Kidpen he/him]

2 minutes ago, Zath said:

Your boon is granted.  Not only do you become the vessel of Cultivation, but all plant life in reality is connected to your Shardic consciousness.  You revel in the sublime beauty of your Connection with plants everywhere.  And then you grow increasingly angry at the humans who dare to harm your children, killing them for use in salads, and other such nonsense!  You start systematically hunting down vegans and vegetarians with your Shard-ly power, then you move on to herbivores, omnivores, and even carnivores (why not, right?).  You turn everybody into greenery.  She's eating spinach? Poof! She's a rhododendron bush now.  He's enjoying an artichoke? Shazam!  He's a daffodil.  Eventually, the only living things anywhere in existence are plants.  Excluding the Nightwatcher.  She thanks you for getting rid of all those pesky humans. Now maybe they'll stop bothering her with boon requests.  

At that moment, a small tumbleweed (previously known as Zath) blows in on the wind and petitions the Nightwatcher for a boon (don't ask me how).

Zath the tumbleweed wishes that he was human again.

Poison ivy.

Granted. However, Zath realizes being a tumbleweed was actually a lot better.

I wish to be a tumbleweed again.

[Apollyon he/him]

@Kidpen Granted, but you are forever doomed to plague the roads of Arizona as you and you kin always do, and proceed to get ran over. 

I wish tumbleweeds didn’t exist...

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Granted. No more tumble weeds exist. Using my newly made stickilurgy, I transform them into flying weeds.

But you are forever a weed on the ground. never to change again.

I wish for my plants to never wish me out of power in any way shape or form.

Edited April 27, 2018 by MacThorstenson

[Apollyon he/him]

@MacThorstenson Granted, but unknown to even Cultivation, there are other plants that are not yours.

I wish this post could become the longest thread: 

 

Edited April 27, 2018 by Apollyon

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Granted it is The Longest Thread.

Your bane is that you are Apollyon.

I wish to have the power that anything that makes a wish of me to become my plant.

[Zath he/him]

25 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

I wish to have the power that anything that makes a wish of me to become my plant.

Granted.  Anything and anyone that asks for a wish from you, MacThorstenson, vessel of all Cultivation in existence, will now be turned into a plant. Your plant.

Your bane is that no one asks you for wishes except for plants that are already under your control.  (You get a few solicitations in your divine Shard-mail regarding "mystery shopper" opportunities on Nalthis, but those don't count.)

I call upon the Nightwatcher to grant my boon: I wish for a SPACESHIP.

Edited April 27, 2018 by Zath
Punctuation

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Granted. 

Your boon is that it is a ship designed primarily for floating in water, and less for space travel.

I wish for the following sentence to be true.

This sentence is false.

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but doing so destroys the fabric of the universe, and with it, your being the vessel of Cultivation.

I wish for Cultivation to be Mac’s again.

[Jehoiada he/him]

It is Mac's, but every time he uses the power he kills ten percent of the population 

I wish for more wishes 

[Kidpen he/him]

Da nightwatcher don’t work like that. You get a pie and a lifetime 10 years shorter.

I wish for less wishes.

[Jehoiada he/him]

Granted, but you get less wishes 

I wish for a spoon (better to be with a spoon then without a spoon)

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted, however this spoon, whenever you think about it, bends from innate telekinetic power, making it difficult to the point of absurdity to actually use it as a spoon.

I wish for a slice of pizza that will regrow any bites taken out of it. An infinite pizza slice, if you will. And for it to be in my favourite flavour!

[AonEne he/him]

Granted, but you suddenly hate pizza. 

I wish everyone turned their profile picture green for mental health awareness month. 

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. However, the country moves mental health awareness month to January.

(I did change my profile)

I wish I could see Dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton, and Wicked in the next week.

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted. However you have to see them all at once, and can't focus on everything at the same time.

I wish I could walk through the rain without any umbrella or coat without myself, my clothes, or my posessions getting wet.

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Granted.

However, you are forever doomed to be covered with oil or butter, that is impossible to remove.

I wish for every single conspiracy theory to be true, simultaneously. 

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Well crap. Granted. Everyone is killed in a ton of secret organizations killing off civillians in an attempt to take power.

I wish for a good Coke, with ice.

[Comatose he/him]

Granted, but both the “coke” and “ice” you receive is cocaine.  Also the cops are on their way  and you have a blinking light attached to your head you can’t remove 

 

I wish to be smarter, but otherwise unchanged.

[InvertShard he/him]

Granted. But all people you knew in life now have no memory of you.

I wish... I had an infinite amount of money.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Granted but is in pennies. 

I wish to be in an airplane.

Edited April 27, 2018 by ElephantEarwax

[Jehoiada he/him]

Granted, but you can never leave.

I wish for a cat that barks.

Edited April 27, 2018 by Jehoiada

[AonEne he/him]

Granted. The cat barks your knee, and you bleed to death.

I wish mental health awareness was this month again. (Because this is serious)

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Granted, but time is shifted forward past Mental health month.

I wish to be able to point at someone and make them Dab.

[Jehoiada he/him]

Granted, but every time you do you slip on a banana.

I wish to be a beautiful butterfly 

[MacThorstenson he/him]

Granted, but said butterfly is pinned in a display case in some museum.

I wish that bananas didn't exist.