Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Jedal he/him]

2 hours ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

Granted. The Nightwatcher gives you a piece of notebook paper with the words "ten wishes" scribbled on it. The paper then jumps down your throat and gives you diabetes. The Nightwatcher doesn't play games.

I wish for a grove of trees whose pollen gives magical powers to those who breathe it. The pollen is pink and smells like lemons.

Granted. But all who get these powers lose them ten days later and contract a strange disease which makes them turn pink before they melt into bubbly lemon juice. Enjoy your last ten days of life!

I wish for the ability to turn others into their sexual fantasy.

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

35 minutes ago, Jedal said:

Granted. But all who get these powers lose them ten days later and contract a strange disease which makes them turn pink before they melt into bubbly lemon juice. Enjoy your last ten days of life!

I wish for the ability to turn others into their sexual fantasy.

Who said I would be snuffing pink pollen? And do you mean the other people's fantasy of themselves, or your fantasy of them?

[kenod]

11 hours ago, Jedal said:

Granted. But all who get these powers lose them ten days later and contract a strange disease which makes them turn pink before they melt into bubbly lemon juice. Enjoy your last ten days of life!

I wish for the ability to turn others into their sexual fantasy.

Granted, you turn them into whoever they fantasize about, so you'll probably be gender-bending them. As your bane, you can't change them back. I'm guessing a lot of people will be fairly angry with you now.

I wish that my raspberry pi's over scan worked correctly.

[Podman]

15 hours ago, kenod said:

Granted, you turn them into whoever they fantasize about, so you'll probably be gender-bending them. As your bane, you can't change them back. I'm guessing a lot of people will be fairly angry with you now.

I wish that my raspberry pi's over scan worked correctly.

Granted.

I wish Wyndle is some day understood, and that Lift will eventually admit he is not a Voidbringer... just kidding! I wish that Wyndle will always remain the best Shardfork of all the land!

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

Granted... if Wyndle agrees. Getting him to agree to stay a Shardfork is your bane. And you can only talk like Yoda.

I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. Wyndle is the best shardfork.

As your bane, it turns out that Wyndle is a real Voidbringer. PLOT TWIST. Pretending to be cultivationspren, Wyndle slowly manipulates Lift so that she ends up murdering Kaladin. That's why Nalan was trying so hard to kill her.

Also you forgot to give kenod a bane. So, Kenod, I will give you one. Your bane is that through some vile magics, the raspberry pi can now only run windows 10.

 

I wish for a perpendicularity to appear somewhere on earth, but not anywhere too close to where I am.

EDIT: Ninja'd by HH!!!

Edited March 3, 2017 by Drake Marshall

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

Okay, compromise: I answer Drake's wish, and the next person answers my wish. 

---

Granted, the perpendicularity is now in Antarctica, and Hoid has given all of the penguins spikes granting sapience. Now there is a magical penguin army threatening to destroy the world.

To repeat my wish, I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

[kenod]

6 hours ago, podman36 said:

Granted.

I wish Wyndle is some day understood, and that Lift will eventually admit he is not a Voidbringer... just kidding! I wish that Wyndle will always remain the best Shardfork of all the land!

... I didn't get a bane?

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

On March 3, 2017 at 10:37 AM, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

To repeat my wish, I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

Granted. You now have a magical toaster - magical in the sense that it gives out wise fortune cookie-esque advice in a disembodied voice while you're making toast, and sometimes it gives out weather forecasts while said weather is ongoing.

Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, and there's a thirty percent chance it's already raining.

Your bane is that the toaster speaks in David Blaine's voice. If you don't think that's a bane - then clearly you get more than enough sleep everyday.

I wish Hoid would teach me something useful.

[Gizmosowner he/him]

On 3/4/2017 at 0:41 AM, Mr. Staccato said:

Granted. You now have a magical toaster - magical in the sense that it gives out wise fortune cookie-esque advice in a disembodied voice while you're making toast, and sometimes it gives out weather forecasts while said weather is ongoing.

Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, and there's a thirty percent chance it's already raining.

Your bane is that the toaster speaks in David Blaine's voice. If you don't think that's a bane - then clearly you get more than enough sleep everyday.

I wish Hoid would teach me something useful.

Granted- Hoid has taught you how to do laundry medieval style

i wish I owned a shard blade

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

Granted. You have to kill Adolin in a duel to get it.

I wish for an angelic flying spork. (Picture a large spork with angel wings, a halo, speaks in a calming feminine voice, and acts as your personal guidance)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. You can have an angelic flying spork as your companion.

Your bane is that the spork is actually a type IV biochromatic entity with the command phrase "give bad ideas." Since you already wished that you would use it as personal guidance, this is bad news... The first bad idea the spork whispers in your ear is to make more wishes.

 

I wish to know the question.

 

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted. The question was inane.

You now have to use Rick Astley for every profile picture on every platform you have. 

I wish for a waterbottle that never gets empty.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

2 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted. The question was inane.

You now have to use Rick Astley for every profile picture on every platform you have. 

I wish for a waterbottle that never gets empty.

Oh dear.

Anyways... Granted. The nightwatcher calmly points out that you said a water bottle but did not specify that it had to be full of water. She hands you an empty plastic water bottle that is completely normal in every way. Then she informs you that, because a true vacuum is about as unattainable as absolute zero, it is quite impossible for this bottle to ever be truly empty.

Your bane is that you involuntarily flinch every time somebody asks you how your day was.

 

I wish to be pleasantly surprised.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Pleasant surprise.

The Nightwatcher looks at you in confusion. Your wish was a strangely temporary one. She thinks it's only fair that your bane be strangely temporary as well. Your bane, sir.

I wish for a marker that can write on the air.

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

Granted. Unfortunately, it does not have a cap.

I wish for a pair of glasses that can see in four dimensions.

[Modal Seoul he/him]

Granted.

The Nightwatcher hands you the glasses, but only your chull can use them, and you go blind in your right eye.

I wish for an unlimited supply of chouta.

Edited March 11, 2017 by Captains Domon
Typos...

[flying_shadow she/her]

Granted, but it's poisoned.

I wish to not be lazy anymore.

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

Granted. You now are filled with an insatiable desire to kill people.

I wish to know all of the alignments in LG31.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

The Nightwatcher grants you the mechanical expertise required to do such things (assuming that the LG31 you're talking about is the one I am aware of). Congratulations! You are now a perfectly competent mechanic.

As for your bane, the Nightwatcher decides to sic this on you.

Spoiler

If it's in a word, or if it's in a look, you are now hunted by the Babadook.

I wish I didn't watch those 6 horror movies back to back yesterday evening. Because now I am a battered wretch of a human being.

 

Edited March 11, 2017 by Mr. Staccato
forgot to put an "a"

[kenod]

9 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

The Nightwatcher grants you the mechanical expertise required to do such things (assuming that the LG31 you're talking about is the one I am aware of). Congratulations! You are now a perfectly competent mechanic.

As for your bane, the Nightwatcher decides to sic this on you.

  Hide contents

If it's in a word, or if it's in a look, you are now hunted by the Babadook.

I wish I didn't watch those 6 horror movies back to back yesterday evening. Because now I am a battered wretch of a human being.

 

Granted, the Nightwatcher gets rid of the memories for you. As your bane, you now have an overwhelming compulsion to watch YA romantic movies like Twilight.

I wish to know what that thing is. It's creeping me out.

[Modal Seoul he/him]

Granted, but it kills you.

I wish my family were still alive.

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

...granted. They are all now zombies.

I wish a Swiss Army knife that has a hemalurgic spike for every blade.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted. You'd better use them fast, seeing as they lose potency over time. Somehow you've also got to break them off your knife so they can properly lodge in a body. 

You are now incurably invisible. 

I wish for a hypoallergenic cat that's not hairless. 

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

5 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted. You'd better use them fast, seeing as they lose potency over time. Somehow you've also got to break them off your knife so they can properly lodge in a body. 

You are now incurably invisible. 

I wish for a hypoallergenic cat that's not hairless. 

Granted. The cat looks like this.

Spoiler

P.S. He's got hair. You just have to look close enough to see it - like, microscopic levels of closeness to do so. Oh, and, um, kindly just ignore the balloon tomato thing. He's just, er...  an unfortunate tag-along if you know what I mean.

Your bane is that you now always trip every time you're on camera.

I wish for the 17th Shard to be attacked by a pack of ravenous birds - who will not somehow inexplicably try and hurt me. Why?

Because I am evil, muwahahahaha!

Edited March 13, 2017 by Mr. Staccato