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Posted

Granted. 
Your bane is that you now have a pencil thin mustache. 
 

 

i wish for some irony. 

Posted

Granted a cat appears and promptly runs away into the forest. 
Your bane is to be unable to answer questions with the word “favorite” in them. 
 

I wish for something so minuscule no bane is needed for balance. 

Posted
26 minutes ago, Darkfinder said:

I wish for the ability to soulcast 

Granted. You gain the ability to cast your soul into the aether, and a demon promptly snatches it and eats it. Your bane is that your dominant hand shrivels up and loses all functionality.

I wish for a black cat with glowing green eyes and the ability to speak that likes playing with yarn and has magic powers.

Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Gears said:

I wish for a black cat with glowing green eyes and the ability to speak that likes playing with yarn and has magic powers.

Granted. But said cat is also a demon.

It looks at you with its green glowing eyes, starts spouting free verse poetry, and distractedly plays with yarn as it eats your soul. It's great with legerdemain, but it's card tricks need some work.

I wish I had a handle bar mustache that I could use to manipulate objects at a distance. You know, like they were real handles.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
Posted

Granted, you can control objects that have handles from a distance by grabbing your mustache as if it was a handle, but it’s impossible to do subtlety and everyone thinks you look dumb. 
 

Your bane is that using your magic mustache automatically catches everyone’s attention. 
 

i wish for the coronavirus to be eradicated.

Posted

Granted the coronavirus is eradicated but your bane is that a worse virus is unleashed upon the world.

I wish for a friendly snake that can talk and is always friendly.

Posted
57 minutes ago, Darkfinder said:

I wish for a friendly snake that can talk and is always friendly.

Granted. His name is Percival and he talks with a pronounced lisp (he's a snake after all). He's super friendly, he can actually even knot his body into a half windsor tie so you can go out and about with him without anyone noticing that you have a talking snake around your neck. He's oxford educated, is a wonderful conversationalist, and is also a great listener. He's very well read, and really that's the problem. There's no book that you read that he doesn't invariably read before you and he's always spoiling the endings. But as far as banes go that's not so bad. Just try and read the preview chapters of RoW while he's sleeping.

I wish that cheetos had the same health benefits as celery.

Posted (edited)

Granted. Your bane is that celery is now very unhealthy, so cheetos still have the same nutritional value.

I wish for an infused perfect gemstone.

Edited by Kings_way
Posted
5 minutes ago, Kings_way said:

I wish for an infused perfect gemstone.

Granted. The gem is a perfect saphire infused with stormlight, it's roughly the size of a tennis ball, and the light it produces is so brilliant you almost can't look directly at it. Unfortunately it's in the mouth of a very large and very angry cotton mouth snake.

I wish Kings_way could safely retrieve their perfect gem without injury to their person or to the snake.

Posted

Granted but you take both the snakes and Kings_way's injuries instead.

I wish to be able to think of names.

Posted

Granted, you can now think of names. Only names. Proper nouns are the only things you can think or say.

 

i wish for a genie so I can make wishes without banes

Posted

Granted the genie can only grant useless wishes and you can only wish once.

I wish for every book to ever exist and the ability to read all the books.

Posted (edited)

Granted. Unfortunately. You are in a 5ft x 5ft x 5ft room, so you get suffocated by all the books.

I wish for a unspiked cookie that is not in the mouth of any deadly animal.

Edited by Kings_way
Posted

Granted. A feruchemist used it as a metalmind, so you can't burn it.

I wish for an antidote to the cookie poison that doesn't have any negative side affects and is easily accessible. 

Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Kings_way said:

I wish for an antidote to the cookie poison that doesn't have any negative side affects and is easily accessible. 

Granted, the antidote is right there in front of you, in a tiny stoppered bottle on a quaint little table. There's even a cute little tag that in a delightful cursive script says Antidote.

Unfortunately for you, your bane is that your arms have been replaced with stalks of broccoli. Try as you might, you can't remove the stopper from the bottle with your broccoli arms. But as you are in your dying throes, you kick the table and the bottle tumbles just right so that the stopper is dislodged and the vital antidote trickles into your mouth.

And as a further silver lining, you are able to pose your broccoli arms in the most alluring fashion, so much so that you soon become "The guy" anytime anyone wants to shoot professional pictures of broccoli.

I wish that I could control the passage of time with my wristwatch.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that I could control the passage of time with my wristwatch.

The Nightwatcher smiles bitterly and says “I am sorry child, but that sort of power is beyond even me. You may however, have this really cool cuckoo clock that I found at a swap meet. Your bane is to always hear it chime on the hour, no matter how far away you are.” At that moment the clock chimes in a super annoying clicking sound that lasts for a solid 20 seconds. 
 

I wish for a really good sandwich. 

Edited by Danex
Posted

Granted you get the best sandwich ever as your curse you can no longer eat anything else due to how tasteless and disgusting they seem.

I wish for human caused extinctions to stop happening.

Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Darkfinder said:

I wish for human caused extinctions to stop happening.

Granted, humans go extinct due to turtles. (Don’t ask). 
 

I wish for a bane that is completely unrelated to my wish. 
 

 

 

Edited by Danex
also, yes, apparently in my canon the nightwatcher can’t allow manipulation of time but the extinction of humanity is done in like, a sentence.
Posted
1 hour ago, Danex said:

Granted, humans go extinct due to turtles. (Don’t ask). 
 

I wish for a bane that is completely unrelated to my wish. 
 

 

 

Granted, your bane is the song Pink Fluffy Unicorns (Dancing on Rainbows)

I wish for life to be like a musical.

Posted
5 hours ago, Darkfinder said:

Granted but the musical is terrible

I wish for the world to be ruled by snakes.

Granted. All snakes changed into other animals and now no one rules the world. 
 

I wish I could meet you all IRL one day

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