The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

[Lighteyed Lieutenant he/him]

Ok, who would win in an all out fight? Hoid, with all his powers, all restrictions removed? Or Chuck Norris?

What would happen? Where would they fight? Who wins? You create your own story.

[The Sibling she/her]

I mean, Hoid, right? He’s a mistborn and a lightweaver. He could just distract Chuck Norris with an illusion then pelt him with coins from afar. Also isn’t he an elantrian now? And has probably a whole bunch of other powers. Sorry Chuck. 

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

Chuck Norris never loses. End of story. 

[Immortal Platypus]

Pretty much it comes down to is both are nearly (if not entirely) unkillable, so... i think its a draw

[Quantus he/him]

For the sake of the bystanders (ie the Cosmere as a whole) they agree to a series of simple contests, best 2 out of 3.   First is a stand-up contest, Hoid wins, Chuck never stood a chance concedes in a classy way.  So for the next contest Chuck challenges Hoid to The Silent Game.  Chuck lasts several millenia before Hoid runs entirely out of Cadmuim, then he cracks in about ten minutes and starts telling a story.  Finally they agree to a simple arm wrestling contest.  Hoid brings all his collected magics to bear, Chuck brings his arms. The resulting forces of their stalemate contest breaks the realms.  They both fall through the newly formed perpendicularity and were never seen again.   

[Lord Spirit he/him]

this reminds of the Pirate of the Caribbean quote "Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?"

[NameIess]

I'd say Chuck Norris. Taln's the only person in the Cosmere who stands a chance against him.

[Quantus he/him]

2 minutes ago, Lord Spirit said:

this reminds of the Pirate of the Caribbean quote "Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?"

Im dating myself but I always think of a scene in the 90's Spiderman cartoon when they introduced both the Red Skull and Capt America.  They'd been trapped in some pocket dimension since WWII but were still actively grappling with each other greco-roman style....for literal Decades.  Eventually Id just stop and have a conversation.  Deep down they must have started to enjoy the dance, ya know?    

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, Quantus said:

For the sake of the bystanders (ie the Cosmere as a whole) they agree to a series of simple contests, best 2 out of 3.   First is a stand-up contest, Hoid wins, Chuck never stood a chance concedes in a classy way.  So for the next contest Chuck challenges Hoid to The Silent Game.  Chuck lasts several millenia before Hoid runs entirely out of Cadmuim, then he cracks in about ten minutes and starts telling a story.  Finally they agree to a simple arm wrestling contest.  Hoid brings all his collected magics to bear, Chuck brings his arms. The resulting forces of their stalemate contest breaks the realms.  They both fall through the newly formed perpendicularity and were never seen again.   

i like this plan  

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

2 hours ago, Nameless* said:

I'd say Chuck Norris. Taln's the only person in the Cosmere who stands a chance against him.

Oh, you didn’t know? Taln is 110% Chuck Norris’ Cosmere cameo. 

Spoiler

 No, it’s not an actual WoB, it’s just headcanon

 

[Immortal Platypus]

31 minutes ago, Labyrinth said:

Oh, you didn’t know? Taln is 110% Chuck Norris’ Cosmere cameo. 

  Hide contents

 No, it’s not an actual WoB, it’s just headcanon

 

yes. that has been my headcanon this entire time

[Forts Board]

Hoid would soulcast the air around Chuck Norris to be fire, but everyone knows Chuck Norris is flame resistant. Surprising Hoid, he preforms a roundhouse that is barely block by Hoid's shardblade, but putting a dent in the metal. Hoid uses the moment to draw a healing Aon intentionally incorrectly, hoping to give Chuck Norris the Shaod. Chuck Norris refuses to stay trapped in time, breaking out, but losing his Gall Bladder in the process. Don't ask me how. Chuck counters with a straight left, knocking Hoid back 30 feet. Hoid regains his balance and burns atium, seeing all future possibilities, and in every single one, they cannot beat each other. Hoid uses a breath to awaken a cloth to momentary distract Chuck, and teleports away, looking to find Taln to recruit for future face-offs. 

[clowncarcrash]

I don't think Hoid is practiced enough to win a serious fight. He might have knowledge to do something unprecedented with the powers he has. I think you have to have the will of a killer to do well in such a fight.