Fatebreaker he/him Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 For Science! Totally worth sacrificing your sanity, limbs, relatives, humanity free time! Quiver, those are not blood oranges, but they''l do. You find a package in the large tree without any leaves. What you find in there is yours, to do with as you see fit.
Voidus Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 "How is this even science, without the possibility of death?"
Quiver he/him Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 It might not have death, but if Winter's reaction is any judge, it is traumatic and mentally scarring, so it's at least kind of like science. 1
Fatebreaker he/him Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 (edited) Geez, all this bad press lately. Let me make a Statement for the Alley to clear a few things up. Let me just start off by saying that we can neither confirm nor deny anything except the things we can confirm or deny.(yay tautology) Winter's accounts of the Alley can't be trusted, as her memories were heavily modified, which is standard DA procedure. And for all her wild accusations, she approached us about joining the Alley. Just check the earlier pages of this thread. She currently in one of our holding cells under the influence of our subconscious control factors, which means her above post is actually all a dream. Any long lasting side-effects she's experiencing from receiving the ability to shape-shift are in no way connected to or the responsibility of the Alley (Thanks to our awesome disclaimer!). In fact, the only thing we are responsible for is Science!!! It should also be noted that we hold no ill will toward her or anyone and that all are welcome to the Alley. If you want further info on the F.I.D.O. project, ask Mail-me so he can answer as cryptically and unhelpfully as possible. Thank you. Now who'd like a cookie? Edited December 31, 2014 by Fatebreaker 4
Quiver he/him Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 (edited) Science!Twilight- the unofficial scientist for the herd- is currently pbserving Winter Cloud - or some manifestation of her-in the latters home base. Obviously, it is too early to provide any reasonable conclusions based on the Winter-Constructs behaviour, however, she does wish to go on record as having noticed a certain degree of "crazy" from her, which would corroborate the Dark Alley sentiments that Winter Clouds accounts are skewed at best. She further requests that any information connected to the sale or use of cookies, most especially of their impact upon human and otherwise sapient creatures, be provided to her forthwith. Like the Dark Alley, she is dedicated to science, and therefore believes that we should all work together to further those goals. Edited January 1, 2015 by Quiver 1
Fatebreaker he/him Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 That's a nice sentiment, but only Denizens are allowed access to Alley info. Even then, no one denizen knows what all of the others are doing. However, we will share the fact that while the reactions within a species are generally quite similar, sentient species have widely varying reactions.
Quiver he/him Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Suppose- hypothetically speaking, of course- Science!Twilight were to express an interest in joining the Dark Alley- Not that she'd betray her friends, of course, but Science is a greater motivator than mere 'guild factions'- - but if she were to, hypothetically, be interested in "visiting" the Dark Alley, what would be required, precisely?
Fatebreaker he/him Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Joining The Alley requires sales in the intro thread and contributions to our particular branch of science. Keep in mind this isn't simply a place to role-play, it's a place to Research. That's all that would be required. Hypothetically of course.
the Gleeman he/him Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 NEW MERCHANDISE!!!! This new year keep to your resolution to lose weight by using the new "Thinbars". Their natural iron makes them the perfect weight supplement. Simply eat what you want. The effects of the iron will keep even the largest amount of calories from adding weight. You can get this amazing offer for only two payments of $19.95. Order right now and we'll throw in a free supply of "Bendalloy" cookies for your midnight munchies needs by eliminating the calories entirely! This is a life changing offer. Order now!* * "Thinbars" and "Bendalloy" cookies are subject to all restrictions found in the Dark Alley Disclaimer: 4
Redbird he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 How do I post a picture? It may be a little late but I found something perfect for the party.
mail-mi he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Why of course, Jack, was it? Come on in, we'll show you our delicious selection of baked goods! 2
JackSteelheart1 he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Why, thank you! I have heard Queen Elsa endorces your cookies. 1
Voidus Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 How do I post a picture? It may be a little late but I found something perfect for the party. There's a little button just underneath the smiley face in the reply menu that lets you post pictures if you have their URL.
Lightsworn Panda he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 What. The. Calamity. Has. Happened!? Seriously. I stop posting in this subforum for a month, deeming it to be dead and overrun by the DA, and in my (seemingly timely) absence the Social Groups subform has experienced a complete revival of activity. Why is my timing always so terrible!?
Quiver he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 No idea but between your arrival and the other Panda-named member in the introductions forum, this seems appropriate: “Unite them. The sun approaches the horizon. The bamboostorm comes. The True Desolation. The Night of Panda's.”
Voidus Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 What. The. Calamity. Has. Happened!? Seriously. I stop posting in this subforum for a month, deeming it to be dead and overrun by the DA, and in my (seemingly timely) absence the Social Groups subform has experienced a complete revival of activity. Why is my timing always so terrible!? Hmmm... Perhaps I should add Necromancy to the DA's list of services? 2
Fatebreaker he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 (edited) For advertising purposes let's call it 'Revitalization' . "Have you recently lost you favorite pet? Has a loved one kicked the bucket? If you have, don't fret yet!* Instead, purchase our new Revitalization Cookies! Crafted with love and precision, the Revitalization Cookie can bring the ones you love back from cold fingers of death, so you can frolic and play and do whatever you do with your loved ones for eternity.** But wait, there's more! Buy one Revitalization cookie and will throw in a complimentary set of three Classic Dark Alley Cookies absolutely free!*** So don't morn or cry, Revitalize! This add has been brought to you by the Dark Alley, copyright the entirety of Time and Beyond. * You are free to fret later. ** Eternitty is only guaranteed if Customer also consumes the correct cookies. Also this won't bring back goldfish, it just makes them explode. Not sure why. *** The complimentary cookies are not infact free and will cost three souls. A-piece. Disclaimer: Disclaimers follow(Neither the seller not the manufacture will be liable for any brain damage arising from the use of this product.Void where prohibited except where not prohibited.Above terms subject to change without notice.Action figures sold separately.Actual price set by retailers.All research statistics are blatantly flagrant.All rights reserved.All sales final.Any other application constitutes fraud.At participating locations only.Alternate toy available for children under 3.Because some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion or limitation of liability for consequential or incidental damages, the above limitations may not apply to you.By continuing to use this system you indicate your awareness of and consent to these terms and conditions of use.Caveat emptor.Do not look at laser beam with remaining eye.Your results may vary.Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of a Shard, neglect, damage from improper or unauthorized repair, incorrect line voltage, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, sticks and stones, et al.)User assumes full liabilities.Some humor and satire included.Price and participation may vary.Not to be used for the other use.Words crossed out are to be disregarded unless they resemble spikes piercing words, in which case you should probably see your local spike cookie vendor.May be addicitve. This supersedes any previous disclaimer: The above disclaimers may be inacurate and cookies will be provided in case of Shardic intervention.) Edited January 12, 2015 by Fatebreaker 4
18th Shard he/him Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Always love to see my lengthy disclaimer put to good use!
Voidus Posted January 16, 2015 Author Posted January 16, 2015 Distinguished leaders of the Alleys I would like to raise a certain issue with you all, sales have dropped recently due to an influx of baffling and inferior competition in the cookie market. The Pandas have begun advertising their own 'bamboo cookies' in the Introduction threads and taking valuable souls customers.I would like to convene an emergency meeting of the Alleys to discuss this problem.
Redbird he/him Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Who needs fiber when our cookies have 2000% daily recommended dose of iron? 1
mail-mi he/him Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I am here. What's the bustle? I was in the middle of an experiment!
Fatebreaker he/him Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 We'll just have to step up our game. We need to get there first. Sell more, sell faster, sell harder. Also, we should let the people know of all the harmful by-products and ingredients in the pandas' cookies. Like anthrax, baby feet, unicorn hearts, and obviously bamboo. And Fear Not. Though Competitors may Rise and Fall, the Alley shall Outlast them all. 2
18th Shard he/him Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) New Firefight Inspired Ideas! Fortune Cookies. Any ideas how to make them work right? Also, we have great talent being corrupted by the pandas. For example, Shadowborn. I felt the same about that Alloy of Law stuff. I wonder if there's still some Atium and Lerasium lying around. Atium burners would be seen as basically gods in that society and if there was Lerasium then Wax becomes...amazing. Almost put a spoiler on a fansite, silly me. Now then, back to the Pastry Investiture. Quite similar to the form based investitures of Sel and the types of metals used in investitures on Scadrial, the Pastry Investiture is similar to Lerasium, but for the entire Cosmere. Inside Andalosium, there was a smidgen of frosting on the very tip. When it was shattered, this frosting was imbued with a shard as a Hemalurgic spike. The Pastry based investiture is the purest form of Andalosium and works aon all planets in the Cosmere. In order to access this Investiture (which shall be referred to as Bakurizong) one must find a person who's baking skill is "The best in the county" and eat one of their pastries, which unlocks the art of Bakurizong. From there, you can bake and/or replicate the magic systems across all the realms. Fortunately, Voidus and I responded, but we cannot let talent such as this go unprepared into the cosmere. Edited January 17, 2015 by 18th Shard
Redbird he/him Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 New Firefight Inspired Ideas! Fortune Cookies. Any ideas how to make them work right? Maybe spring-loaded with a spike, then an ironic fortune. 1
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