The Battle for the Sandwich

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Unfortunately for you, I had been waiting for you! As soon as you appear in the Cognitive Realm, I punch you square in the face. In your shock, I snatch the Sandwich from your hands and dive into the sea of beads.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Where I am waiting. I use Chana's blade to distract you and quickly Lash the Sandwich towards me.

[Ookla the Newt she/her]

I start waving Nightblood around wildly trying to have it eat the Shades, then realize I can't Elsegate to the Cognitive Realm while holding it.

 

Would Nightblood be able to eat the Shades?

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

42 minutes ago, Booknewt said:

I start waving Nightblood around wildly trying to have it eat the Shades, then realize I can't Elsegate to the Cognitive Realm while holding it.

 

Would Nightblood be able to eat the Shades?

Yes, it should

13 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I guess?

Time is messed up though, so I don't know.

Don't worry I still have one

And it's sentient

His is a black dwarf frying pan.

While you're busy watching Shatter, the Maw 3 - Frying Pan bonks you on the head and takes the sandwich from @YouCantHaveMySandwich.

Google AI overview is telling me that the sandwich would retain its original shape if one were to linearize time over the region, but due to time warping it would still undergo spaghettification and ultimately merge with the singularity. 

 

[Shatter He/Him]

45 minutes ago, Booknewt said:

I start waving Nightblood around wildly trying to have it eat the Shades, then realize I can't Elsegate to the Cognitive Realm while holding it.

 

Would Nightblood be able to eat the Shades?

Night blood eats investiture. It can kill Spren. So I think so

3 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

Google AI overview is telling me that the sandwich would retain its original shape if one were to linearize time over the region, but due to time warping it would still undergo spaghettification and ultimately merge with the singularity. 

 

The Sandwich defies time and space. That’s why it hasn’t rotted given that it was introduced (not made. It was made before the universe was born) a year ago. 
 

Well thats a Sandwich lore drop

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

10 minutes ago, Shatter said:

Night blood eats investiture. It can kill Spren. So I think so

The Sandwich defies time and space. That’s why it hasn’t rotted given that it was introduced (not made. It was made before the universe was born) a year ago. 
 

Well thats a Sandwich lore drop

Right. In this case it is still in the shape of a sandwich, it's just spacetime being weird. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

5 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

The Maw 5, now knowing that you are not me, and enjoying the sentience I gave it in return, steals the Sandwich from you and gives it to me.

But it already had sentience  

3 hours ago, Booknewt said:

I use a duralumin fueled push / pull thingy like what Marsh does in TLM to break Maw 5 apart, then grab the sandwich and start running

The Maw 5 isn't actually made of metal, and so it did nothing.

2 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

Where I am waiting. I use Chana's blade to distract you and quickly Lash the Sandwich towards me.

The Maw 5 bonks you on the head, takes the sandwich, and gravitates away

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

Right. In this case it is still in the shape of a sandwich, it's just spacetime being weird. 

Yes.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I am supremely annoyed with the Maws at this point so I build a Mew. The Mew steals the Sandwich and gives it to me.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

17 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I am supremely annoyed with the Maws at this point so I build a Mew. The Mew steals the Sandwich and gives it to me.

I in return build a µ, which is infinitely better than your Mew and puts it to shame. Your Mew gives my µ the sandwich out of acknowledgement of its better. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

1 minute ago, Ashkaloda said:

I in return build a µ, which is infinitely better than your Mew and puts it to shame. Your Mew gives my µ the sandwich out of acknowledgement of its better. 

I fire a muon at the µ. While it's distracted, the Maw comes in and swipes the sandwich.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

2 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I fire a muon at the µ. While it's distracted, the Maw comes in and swipes the sandwich.

I stick the Maw in one of your beloved SIM safes. 

...

*realizes the Maw still has the sandwich* 

Edited November 12, 2025 by Ashkaloda
*realizes the Maw still has the sandwich* ​​​​​​​

[NerdSandwich she/her]

7 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

I in return build a µ, which is infinitely better than your Mew and puts it to shame. Your Mew gives my µ the sandwich out of acknowledgement of its better. 

µ is what I am learning about in my freshman physics class

Fkf=µn

Fsf=µn
I teleport you to a surface with an extremely high µ. There, gravity is equal to normal force. I astronomically increase your gravity, effectively immobilizing you. I make gravity nonexistent for me, teleport to you, snatch the Sandwich, and teleport away.

Edited November 12, 2025 by YouCantHaveMySandwich

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

18 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

µ is what I am learning about in my freshman physics class

Fkf=µn

Fsf=µn
I teleport you to a surface with an extremely high µ. There, gravity is equal to normal force. I astronomically increase your gravity, effectively immobilizing you. I make gravity nonexistent for me, teleport to you, snatch the Sandwich, and teleport away.

*Fsf<or=µFn

Gravity is only equal to normal force if all other forces run perpendicular to the normal force or cancel each other out in the direction of the normal force and gravity is at a 180-degree angle from the normal force and the system in question is only experiencing normal force with one surface that lies below it. 

I conjure a ridiculously large floppy hat on top of your head. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

7 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

*Fsf<or=µFn

Gravity is only equal to normal force if all other forces run perpendicular to the normal force or cancel each other out in the direction of the normal force and gravity is at a 180-degree angle from the normal force and the system in question is only experiencing normal force with one surface that lies below it. 

I conjure a ridiculously large floppy hat on top of your head. 

I know, and I stated that, in this case, gravity was equal to normal force (meaning that yes, all other forces run perpendicular to the normal force or cancel it out)

Oh and gravity is at a 180-degree angle from the normal force and there is only one normal force: the surface below you.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

1 hour ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I make gravity nonexistent for me, teleport to you, snatch the Sandwich, and teleport away.

I make gravity existent for you and then turn off your teleporting abilities because that's way too powerful. I then grab the Sandwich and hide behind a nearby tree.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I turn on my teleporting abilities and turn off your ability to turn off my teleporting abilities. I teleport to you and grab the Sandwich. I teleport to a different planet.

[Creation he/him]

7 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I turn on my teleporting abilities and turn off your ability to turn off my teleporting abilities. I teleport to you and grab the Sandwich. I teleport to a different planet.

how are you teleporting?

 

are you making wormholes everywhere or have you mastered the dimentions of the string theory like me? 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I choose not to tell you

haha

[Shatter He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Creation said:

how are you teleporting?

 

are you making wormholes everywhere or have you mastered the dimentions of the string theory like me? 

Elsegates, probably.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Maybe.

Maybe not.

[Shatter He/Him]

14 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I turn on my teleporting abilities and turn off your ability to turn off my teleporting abilities. I teleport to you and grab the Sandwich. I teleport to a different planet.

I Elsegate to that planet and grab and eat the Sandwich right in front of your shocked face. omnomnomnomnom. 
I then Elsegate to that fart pancake planet that Hoid mentioned.

[Creation he/him]

Just now, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I transfer myself to the 4th spatial dimention and look at @YouCantHaveMySandwich

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I teleport to the fart pancake planet and take it back using illusions.

[Creation he/him]

1 minute ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I teleport to the fart pancake planet and take it back using illusions.

???

oh wait i understand

Edited November 12, 2025 by Creation
oh wait i understand

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I also take the Sandwich back in addition to it, my pet hamster.