Mental Health Awareness Month 2021

[Flying]

8 minutes ago, Tesh said:

Ohmystorms you put it into words.

Also that is an amazing quote.

That whole post was very well written.

Also I just realized that I kind of do the same thing you do when it comes to lurking. But I do it more IRL then on here. I do it enough where it gets to the point that it feels like I am part of the conversation even if I haven't added a single word to it. 

And I now have to idea how to conclude this response... Um...

Yeah, I can't think of anything. 

[Solid conclusion that wraps everything up nicely]

I'm still kind of surprised I was able to accurately put the feeling into words

I also kind of lurk IRL. I'm always quiet in the background and somehow people forget I'm there. I just stand there listening to the conversation like: 

[Solid conclusion that wraps everything up nicely]

[Chinkoln]

My school counselor says I am showing signs of anxiety, and she has been talking with me about ways to deal with it. Apparently I also show some signs of depression.

Edited May 16, 2021 by Chinkoln

[Frustration]

On 5/15/2021 at 3:36 AM, Flying said:

(Okay so I tried to write this last week but then kind of panicked and just stopped writing it. But now I'm going to finish it because I'm feeling brave)

I'm having a hard time putting all my thoughts into words right now, but I'll try my best.

So, I've always been that person that people know but don't really know. Everyone knows I exist, but people don't really know me personally. I'm just kind of... there. Like a random person in the background of a movie. I've realized that this mostly has to do with me being on the autism spectrum, and also because talking to people makes me anxious. I never really put in the effort to interact with people because it's so much easier being an outside observer. There were a few years in my life where I really did try (and actually succeeded) to make friends, but for some reason it made me panic even more. There's something about getting to know people that kind of awakens this part of me that makes me aware of all the things that make me different. People at school have also made fun of me for things like being autistic or depressed, so there's past conversations like that haunting me. I've kind of come to the conclusion that I'm much happier being alone because I don't get as stressed out.

The reason I explained all of that is this: I lurk on these forums a lot. I lurk on Discord too. I'm fascinated by the way people act, but it takes so much effort and mental preparation for me to actually join the conversation. But because I observe everything silently, I know a lot about the people here. I have like this weird part of my brain that's just random things that I remember about people, and most of the time they probably don't even know I was paying attention. But I care about you guys. A lot, actually. 

I know I don't put in enough effort to interact with people, but I've observed so many people struggling with so many different things. There's people here who don't believe anyone cares, and every time I see one of those messages pop up it just makes me feel this intense sadness. I know what that feeling's like. I've felt it before, and I have vivid memories of the times when those feelings of hopelessness were the strongest. I've sat here for over twenty minutes trying to come up with something poetic and beautiful and inspirational, but the only thing I can think of right now is a stupid quote from a story that's still unfinished on my computer. I wanted to write something else as encouragement, but it's 2:00 AM and I can't really find anything else to say. So, umm, I guess you can read this random thing I wrote a year ago.

  Reveal hidden contents

The war within one’s mind is often more difficult than the wars between men. The soldier never freezes on the battlefield simply because of the enemy around him; nor does he freeze because of the mere clashing of swords. He freezes because his own thoughts have betrayed him. Fighting to control what goes on in your head is going to be a difficult battle, Vashkril. Perhaps it will be the most difficult one of all.

And to tell you the truth, life is nothing more than a sequence of battles in one prolonged war. There are victories, and there are losses. There are days when you stand undefeated after a hard-won fight. And then there are days when your thoughts weigh down on you, seeming like they will finally overwhelm your best defenses. But on the rare days when you see your despair and hopelessness holding the white flag of surrender, you will realize that there’s still enough hope. There’s always a reason to keep fighting.

To conclude this (overly long) post, I'm just going to end by reiterating that I care about all of you. Even if I don't know you personally, you're all Sanderfans. You're already amazing people by my standards 

Hey Flying! Thanks for sharing.

If you don't mind me asking what thoughts do you have about me? I'm not as active on the community side so you probably don't see me as much but I couldn't help but wonder.

[Flying]

2 hours ago, Frustration said:

Hey Flying! Thanks for sharing.

If you don't mind me asking what thoughts do you have about me? I'm not as active on the community side so you probably don't see me as much but I couldn't help but wonder.

I think I've read some of your posts in theory threads before. I don't look at those kinds of threads that often, but I always see your posts/profile picture appear when I do look there. Anyways, from what I've read you seem pretty cool. You also probably know a lot more about the cosmere than I do because I tend to forget random facts...

[Frustration]

Just now, Flying said:

I think I've read some of your posts in theory threads before. I don't look at those kinds of threads that often, but I always see your posts/profile picture appear when I do look there.

That is exactly where you will find me.

1 minute ago, Flying said:

Anyways, from what I've read you seem pretty cool. You also probably know a lot more about the cosmere than I do because I tend to forget random facts...

oh thank you, that's very sweet, I...

Thanks.

[Chinkoln]

5 minutes ago, Flying said:

I think I've read some of your posts in theory threads before. I don't look at those kinds of threads that often, but I always see your posts/profile picture appear when I do look there. Anyways, from what I've read you seem pretty cool. You also probably know a lot more about the cosmere than I do because I tend to forget random facts...

Ummm, what about me? If you don’t mind

[Flying]

6 minutes ago, Chinkoln said:

Ummm, what about me? If you don’t mind

I've seen you more on Discord than I have on the Shard, and I kind of associate you with otters because of your old profile picture. Otters are cool

I don't see your posts here that often, but based off of Discord you seem fun to talk to. 

[Frustration]

7 minutes ago, Flying said:

I've seen you more on Discord than I have on the Shard, and I kind of associate you with otters because of your old profile picture. Otters are cool

I don't see your posts here that often, but based off of Discord you seem fun to talk to. 

Don't hate me, but

 

I had to.

[Flying]

2 minutes ago, Frustration said:

Don't hate me, but

 

I had to.

I'd never seen this video. Thank you for enlightening me. I love it.

[Frustration]

1 minute ago, Flying said:

I'd never seen this video. Thank you for enlightening me. I love it.

You're welcome, always a pleasure to teach people about Sea Otters

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

On 5/1/2021 at 2:51 PM, Tesh said:

Happy May, everyone!

This last year has been... Crazy, to say the least. And yet here we are, going for another round of this!

For those of you who aren't aware, May is mental health awareness month. 

This is my fourth year doing this, and over the past four years I have come a long way in terms on my own mental health. My depression has lessened significantly, with occasional days of it coming back in full force, my anxiety has worsened significantly especially as this school year is drawing to a close. My derealization has remained very consistent for the last four years, and I also am now fairly certain that I am on the autism spectrum. The knowledge of ASD that I've gained over the last few months has explained so much about me, that, well,  being me is a much better thing to be than it has in times past.

Beyond just my own personal experience with this, mental illness has greatly impacted every member of my family in various ways, and because of this I feel very passionately about this subject, and want to, in this small way, show support to people who have been affected by this.

Alright, enough about me.

To show support and awareness this month, I'd encourage everyone to turn their profile pictures green! The past few years it has always been amazing poking around the forums and seeing how many people are green.

Also, please feel free to share your own experience with mental illness, or share your support for others in this thread. Have discussions, and know that you are not alone. Don't feel obligated to participate in this way if you don't want to or if it makes you uncomfortable. This is just an opportunity for people to share, and to have their voices be heard.

And thanks to @Knight of Iron for reading over this for me before I posted it.

If anyone wants a specific Cosmere symbol or something for their profile picture, just let me know and I can make a green one. There is also a green 17th Shard symbol floating around somewhere from previous years.

green ghostblood symbol, that would be awesome

[Tesh]

28 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

green ghostblood symbol, that would be awesome

Here you go!

Spoiler

If you'd like the green to be a gradient or something else like that, feel free to PM me. Stuff like this is really fast to throw together.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood]

16 hours ago, Tesh said:

Here you go!

  Reveal hidden contents

If you'd like the green to be a gradient or something else like that, feel free to PM me. Stuff like this is really fast to throw together.

thank you

[Lunamor]

It has been a very, very difficult year in terms of mental health for me. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD about a year ago, and have been mostly unsuccessful in attempts at finding a medication that works for me. My mental health disorders had been ignored and downplayed for so long by my doctors that they had grown to unmanageable sizes. I recently brought up the idea of bipolar disorder to my psychiatrist, and it turns out that my symptoms fit exactly with it, so we are starting a new medication for that instead, as everything I’ve been trying doesn’t work for that sort of stuff. It is beyond frustrating that a year of my life was potentially wasted because of a misdiagnosis, especially because I had to do all of the research myself and how obviously my symptoms fit with a mood disorder. I can’t focus long enough to read anything longer than a few sentences (posts like this take me quite a while), it has been over a year since I was last able to read a book. Simple things like brushing my teeth or changing clothes in the morning have become so hard that I’m lucky to get even that done. It feels like my brain is sinking further and further into a fog, and thinking is getting harder and harder. I used to be a straight A student, but now I’m failing several classes and will be lucky to finish the year with all passing grades. Sometimes I can’t even manage to cry because I can’t remember how to or why. I’ll try and do something like playing a video game to distract myself, but those keep becoming harder and harder to the point where Solitare is one of the only things I can manage to do when I’m struggling. I am worried that I am losing parts of me and that they won’t come back. The worst part is that I know I can do better, that I accomplish what I want to, but my brain just can’t. I am really hoping that these new meds work, because I have exhausted every option at my disposal and really don’t know what to do if they don’t. Sorry for the really long post, I just needed to rant somewhere.

[Frustration]

6 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

It has been a very, very difficult year in terms of mental health for me. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD about a year ago, and have been mostly unsuccessful in attempts at finding a medication that works for me. My mental health disorders had been ignored and downplayed for so long by my doctors that they had grown to unmanageable sizes. I recently brought up the idea of bipolar disorder to my psychiatrist, and it turns out that my symptoms fit exactly with it, so we are starting a new medication for that instead, as everything I’ve been trying doesn’t work for that sort of stuff. It is beyond frustrating that a year of my life was potentially wasted because of a misdiagnosis, especially because I had to do all of the research myself and how obviously my symptoms fit with a mood disorder. I can’t focus long enough to read anything longer than a few sentences (posts like this take me quite a while), it has been over a year since I was last able to read a book. Simple things like brushing my teeth or changing clothes in the morning have become so hard that I’m lucky to get even that done. It feels like my brain is sinking further and further into a fog, and thinking is getting harder and harder. I used to be a straight A student, but now I’m failing several classes and will be lucky to finish the year with all passing grades. Sometimes I can’t even manage to cry because I can’t remember how to or why. I’ll try and do something like playing a video game to distract myself, but those keep becoming harder and harder to the point where Solitare is one of the only things I can manage to do when I’m struggling. I am worried that I am losing parts of me and that they won’t come back. The worst part is that I know I can do better, that I accomplish what I want to, but my brain just can’t. I am really hoping that these new meds work, because I have exhausted every option at my disposal and really don’t know what to do if they don’t. Sorry for the really long post, I just needed to rant somewhere.

Don't take this the wrong way but

 

[Lunamor]

Just now, Frustration said:

Don't take this the wrong way but

 

Well the moon isn’t my former girlfriend, at least I’ve got that going for me 

[AonEne]

1 hour ago, Lunamor said:

It has been a very, very difficult year in terms of mental health for me.

*hugs Luna tightly if she's okay with that* I'm so sorry. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, and I support you - you can do this, but don't beat yourself up if your brain won't let you, because it's not your fault.

[Mist]

*also hugs Luna if she's okay with it* and ranting is perfectly fine. And it's okay not to be able to, even if it's your brain that's the reason. Your brain is a part of you too, and a pretty important one.

[Tesh]

@Lunamor Feel free to rant as much as you want. If you ever want to chat (or just rant) my PMs are always open, too. 

[Experience]

Man, this is going to be hard. I... don't think that I've talked about my mental health on the shard at all, so I guess here goes.

I regularly go through phases of depression and anxiety, and both have been amplified by the pandemic and having to do school online. Even though I've recently started going back to school in person, it seems like things aren't going up like I was hoping that they would. For me, it's almost like I'm stuck in limbo. I know that I should do my homework, and I know that I shouldn't put it off until later, and I know the reasons why I need to do it, and other things, but I just... can't. I just waste away my entire day doing useless things like scrolling through youtube without even watching any videos. I love art, and sometimes it's able to sort of lift me up for a short amount of time but it seems like it's becoming less effective recently. I want to care about life, and doing things, but it's just so hard. Then on top of all that, I get anxiety attacks because I didn't do the things I needed to and I start freaking out. And the cycle goes on and on. I feel very lucky to have friends, but I don't really have the strength to talk to them about my mental state, even though I know that it would help me out. I have recently been feeling hate for myself, and I hate it but I just can't seem to control it. I don't ever have suicidal thoughts (though this might be partly because of my insane fear of death), which I feel lucky about.

I guess now onto a happier note. I'm also 99.99% sure that I'm on the autism spectrum, and have done quite a bit of research regarding it, but I haven't been diagnosed. I often have trouble with answering questions that people ask me that aren't literal, or that say something but actually are asking something else. I also have a lot of trouble with focusing. Reading through these two pages of this thread was very tough and took close to an hour to do. Also, when my schedule is changed in anyway it seems to ruin my day and I just can't seem to get over it, and if I'm interrupted while doing something (especially if it's something that I'm enjoying doing) then it really annoys me. The way I see the world seems to be different then everyone else around me, and It's crazy to me that others don't think and see the same way that I do. Personally, I feel like autism does affect me mentally, though it is not a mental disorder. 

I've been hovering over the 'Submit Reply' button for the past twenty minutes or so. 

[+Slowswift]

Well, it's been a few months, but I just wanted to say that I'm glad that this thread exists and that just reading through it has been an inspiration. Thanks, y'all, for posting. Keep being cool.

[Progknife]

This topic is a bit old, but I find myself in so many comments. Depression/anxiety/panic have become a part of my life.

I understood that mental health issues can affect anyone and that it's okay to seek help when needed. Whether it's talking to a friend, family member, or a mental health professional, there is always someone who can help.

I or specialists from https://www.riviamind.com/ are here to listen if anyone wants to share their experiences or struggles with mental health. Remember, you are not alone.

Edited April 6, 2023 by Progknife