Alvron

I'm going to stop asking people "How dumb can you get?"  They seem to think it's a challenge.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

Happy Birthday.  I hope it's one filled with laughter and happiness.

Most of the time when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But you fart just one time...

Despite what my friends will tell you, I am not a smartarse.  I'm a skilled and trained professional in pointing out the obvious.  I also speak fluent sarcasm.

I don't always tolerate stupid people, but when I do, I'm probably at work.

There are two things anyone who talks to me needs to know.
1:  I am very cranky until I get my first cup of coffee
2: I don't drink coffee

Happy Birthday Jain.

Got this on my locker at work.  No one has spoken to me for a couple of days.  It's glorious.

I don't trip.  I do random gravity checks.

Chocolate comes from cocoa.  Which is a tree.  Which makes it a plant.  So chocolate is a salad.  Yes?

I need a vacation.  Someone kidnap me please.

Surely not everybody was Kung Fu fighting.  Someone had to be streaming to youtube.

I sent out a text today saying "I've lost my phone, can you call it?"  I got eight calls......  I need smarter friends.

Hmm, not sure how I feel about being followed by a self confessed assassin.

Rabbits jump and live for 8 years.  Dogs run and live for 15 years.  Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years.  Lesson learnt.

What madness is this?  Twi is less than a hundred upvotes from dethroning the reigning Rep King, Kobold King.

Intriguing.  I just got a couple of upvotes on some old status updates.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.

The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.

The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own existence. In some ways we are, in some ways we're not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence.

quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.