Robinski

Hi Arkelao, Ooh, I don't get over here enough. I spend all my time on Writing Excuses. This is still a neat idea. I can vaguely remember that cast. The thing that has alway kind go fascinated me is the idea of communism, because of course all the expressions that have taken that label are and have been anything but communism, just another kind of rule by an elite class. So, my thought experiment is to wonder if it is possible to have true communism at all, and what would it look like, how would decisions be made, how could such a society be organised? There is a flip side to that, I think, which is the question: Is it possible to have a completely beneficent ruler, an emperor who is truly good, just, balanced, etc? If there was such a head of state, how would they express their control? How would they organise people to do what needed to be done? Anyway, hope you are still around and interested in a discussion! Thanks for posing the question

Yeah, I only got on pace about 6/7 months ago. I really enjoy only having one podcast a week to listen to, helps me make more progress with all my other podcasts I'd be really surprised if the podcasts stopped. They've built something that has a real following, not to mention what I imagine is some commercial viability, in that they have produced and sold a book on the back of the cast, and also have the retreat cruises. I would guess what would happen is that the founders my variously step back, as they started to do in recent years, and have more guests presenters. I think it's notable that the recent cast on writing disability did not feature any of the founders. For obvious reasons, but it could be a model for the future, even a test. I suppose they could introduce sponsorship so that WE was paying its way. Whatever the case, I'd be really surprised if they stopped WE now, provided the audience is not 'falling off'.

This is now 118k, and will be more like 110k by the end of this edit, I hope. TMM is 89k (so TCC is almost exactly +33%, at the moment, but shrinking!).

Well, it is in the UK!!! But seriously, I am sooo far behind, so never worn about any (perceived) tardiness. I'm always just so glad to have your comment anyhow. Hurrah! Yeah, let's do it, let's definitely not get in a car and drive around YK Mah, right. I accept the balance is not correct yet, and have flagged to work on this. I think so. No. Yes. Err, hmm. I feel like this says more about you than my writing No idea. Sounds cool though, right? Seriously though, I reckon it would be watertight, among other things. Silent? Really strong, of course. Would never to all the things that zippers do that we all hate. I see your point. It wasn't supposed to come over that way here. I should have said 'working with the Q Agency' (i.e. alongside), rather than 'for'. The weakest (to casual inspection, anyway!! ). No sinister agenda. Mmm, okay. I've added a line of internal monologue, but I'm not convinced it sits comfortably in the narrative, and in his mindset at that point. We'll see. Not yet. Will clarify. Fair. I've added a couple of nervous ticks in. I've tweaked a couple of tags to show E has doubts about his straightness. Okay. I was going for the punchline, as always, but accept the set up is not quite right. I've tweaked this around a bit. I think it's better, thanks Ick. Yes, right. Editing. This with tied up with E being 'bi' in the original draft, but still... I'm going to PM you an edited version of this passage. Really appreciate those comments. Thank you very much!

Hey ID, thank for reading and commenting I understand. I'm going to be continuing to work at cutting the earlier parts (all the parts, actually), and the travel should be the easiest place to get cuts. I think sometimes I have in my mind that travel is a good opportunity for people to talk to each other, which no doubt doesn't help. That's in my notes for the next edit. Yeah. I've ramped this up a bit. I think I might need to ramp the MT's debut in Q's POV some more. Well, she didn't need him, although I've just changed the wording around that, because it is misleading. He just went with her because she might have needed saving, I guess (see M's outburst from earlier). Great comments. Thank you so much

Hey, @Mandamon, thank you for reading. Very much appreciated. Okay, good, although I see your point about the chapter, but I didn't want them to be all pals straight away. I thought it was clear enough that they were going to Ro's house first, but maybe that didn't come through. I've put in a couple of short, more definitive statements about their intentions... ...and I've put in another short line about D, just for context. Err, well, there's plenty. Although I'm hoping to cut into it more swingeingly. There are another eleven chapter and an epilogue Android. Have clarified, and I think added some spookiness. Thanks. Hmm. This is a problem, sure enough. I don't want folks feeling like that. I feel there's enough information to guess, but not really to work it out. I will see how the other feel, but in any case, I'm happy to accept there is a need to rebalance the interjections from M/C as they appear through the story. Yeah, ok. See above. No, he's brand new here. I've tried to parse him in a little better, but probably need another go at it. I appreciate it's sudden. I'm so glad. Bringing them together was an important moment. Right. If this is not ringing true, I will need to revise to convince the reader. Right, I've tried to punch up the attack a bit. No, see above. I've made more of this. Good point. Yeah, I don't know how much I want to make that a big thing. Fair comments. I should be. I think this is one of those things that I'm assuming everyone else would assume. It's common knowledge that TOM owns E/C, and that E/C owns Gen, so kind of like J-Bez in relation to a subsidiary of 4m4zon. DM is a known and (fairly) prominent employee of E/C (internally), so it would be known by E that DM's (ultimate) boss was TOM. This is maybe not coming over, of course. Okay. I wanted him to be a kind of shadowy figure. Maybe that's not working. They're supposed to be blocking the road, but as they are T/F killers, E doesn't want to 'waste' them. Okay. I was trying to throw some light on Q's own state of mind on preferences (which I know I've never been explicitly about). I guess this is causing an issue? I will garner the other views on this and see where I am at the end of this thread [Done: line changed.] In a good way? Maybe I need to hang a lantern on this earlier? Great comments, as always. Thank you so much

Woop, woop. Happy ten years RE. I can only muster six (.5), and what a whirlwind that's been

Err. Not this week. I'm not ready. I want to edit the next chapter before I sub it (as I've been doing for the last several weeks), but I haven't even started. I'll go next Monday, please, slots permitting.

Yes, this is the nutshell of it. Thanks I've had a go at tweaking the wording. I really think it's better now.

Hey Silk, thank you so much for the very comprehensive comments Yeah. I can see your point. They've been pretty isolated recently. Yeah. She doesn't realise at first, and then he tells her and she does show some concern. Maybe that's not coming through too well at the start. Thanks Yeah, that's a remnant. Thanks, now updated to confirm that the NG is deployed, or in the process. I tried to show, in the those web few snippets, a transition from authorities issuing edicts to soldiers pushing people up against walls. I'll try and bring it out more in the next edit. Good point. I'll drop something into this news cycle. Good call. Fixed. Excellent! I love fixing typos Yeah, someone else called this. Thanks, it's cut. I think it comes from the fact that I'm a Luddite and way behind on the tech we actually have now!! So, what am I actually doing writing SF!!! Good points. I'm noting these for the next edit. Hmm. Hm. I sort of agree with this, but I suspect I'm coming at it from a slightly different angle than @Mandamon... but he seems to have shifted from thinking that these events might lead him to his son, to thinking that they will, without either obtaining any evidence for that or talking himself into believing it. @industrialistDragon has hit it on the head, I think, in saying that there needs to be more foundation in the text this. Personally, I do think there's enough there already that this is a relatively simple fix, just hanging a lantern in a couple of places. Okay, I can go with this. The certainty comes from M/C telling Q that his sos is in YK, which was a revision in this edit. So, I'm hoping the lanterns are there already now (but not when you read it). Yeah, I don't think they have either. I suppose it's reasonable that they've had the chance to see it on the news by now, but I don't remember seeing it highlighted in the text. Yeah, I've rephrased this a bit, to make it clear that they don't know what one is, they just know it's not good. This is a good point. I have to admit, the reveal the Mystery Caller was actually pretending to be TOM on those calls didn't bug me as much as it seems to have ID and Mandamon. Certainly it seems like an easy enough way to manipulate Q. It's true I still have no idea why the caller might be doing this, but on a grand scale I think I'm inured to it because I still have no idea why Mor and particularly TOM are doing anything anyway. Yes, election fraud and all that good stuff, but at the end of the day I have no idea what TOM expects the actual benefits of that to be for ... his companies, which he seems fairly willing to tear apart? Himself specifically? Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've harped on that enough in an earlier crit somewhere, so I'll leave it at that for now. Yes, good point. I think what I need to put work in is in TOM's overall goal, as you say. What does he expect to get out of it all? What are his stakes. I will do something about that. Phew. Great comments, as always. Now I only have to 'solve' them! Thank you

Never a problem, I'm usually running at least a week behind anyway. Thanks so much for reading Yeah, I recognise these issues. I'm going to have a much stronger ticking clock in the next edit, which will ramp up tension, and I'll continue cutting from the preceding chapters. In this pass, I've take 8000 words, which I think must help, BUT, I recognise that taking scenes out will be as important next time around. Err, yes. At least one of your comments is satisfied in the next chapter. So glad you're still engaged, and I am trying to whittle down the travelling, really I am! I've talked about this above. I will address this. I've tidied it up a bit. It should say 'big number starting with a two', i.e. the new century (it's 20 99 at present. Yep, yep, yep. Yes, I suppose it does. I'll need to foreshadow that better, without giving their identity away, and perhaps also hint more at identity (broadly). Hmm. I really thought the last sentence was definitive in stating that he had not talked to TOM. Really appreciate the comments, Thanks, Kais

Hey ID, many thanks for reading. Erm, gooood? I think? M did too, in the last chapter, the moving semi. Maybe I need to reinforce that. Excellent Right. As noted above to Mandamon... So, I'll go back and try to lay the groundwork better for the son thread. Ooh, I did not mean to imply that. This is a fair point. I think I revised some of the earlier sections, but I agree that I need to put more groundwork in to the earlier discussion with 'TOM', and also Mor's discussions with TOM, to earn this. Thank you very much for calling those things out, ID Much appreciated

Hey, thanks so much for reading, and the always challenging comments, which are always good Excellent. I will take that! He is going toward his son, yes. (I'm being cagey about answering the third point.) Yeah. That's something I may need to turn up the flagging on a bit, because there's the real TOM speaking to Mor, and the 'fake' TOM speaking to Q. Rolling under the truck. I thought since it came right after the recollection of the truck, this would mesh okay. Yeah, maybe a bit tenuous. I was thinking bark = big(ger) dog, yap = small dog. It's a reference to M not having the diaphragm to bark. I guess mentions are maybe too infrequent. I don't think WRS covers it. M/C tells Q about his son being in YK when they are parked up in Donald. That's Chapter 10 (page 153), so, nine chapters ago and 90 pages, although there are references on Page 160, 168 and 174, so maybe it's more like 70 pages. That's probably still too long without a reference. I will go back and add at least one interim reference to Q's son. I was meaning through Mor, because he's attached to Gen. It's a play on 'emergency operation level', Q considering that is the level of their relationship. I've tidied it up, it certainly wasn't clear. I'm aiming a deepening their relationship, and this was a moment of 'down time' in which I thought I could do that. I did have an inkling that Q's birthday comment was a bit shoehorned in. From that, it was a case of him touching a nerve and M going off. Cool. Cut! I've tweaked this slightly. E makes reference to there being some pictures on the web, but it hasn't been explicitly stated that M has seen a picture of an MT, for example. M was being ironic in the use of 'pals'. Not sure that line is landing at all, so I have trimmed it. Thanks for flagging. Okay. Yes. Mmmmmaybe... Really helpful comments, thank you.

Ah, of course they are.

Hi everybody!! Here is the next instalment of the story. Any and all comments would be greatly appreciated. Anything and everything is fair game. Best, Robinski Chapter Summary: 01 - In small town in British Columbia, Q and M close out the Not-All-That-Curious Case of the Stolen Art; 02 - Q and M decide on what to do next, all the options seem to have some issue or other. Q's ex-father calls; 03 - After some political machinations, we meet EM (the administrator) and TT (the scientist) who at GX in Yellowknife, NWT; 04 - T is coerced by M into releasing the MTs. They are meant to kill her, but it does not go to plan for M. Now he has a problem 05 - Back with Q and M, they speak to R before going to meet him at the airport, but the plane crashes in 'unexpected' circumstances; 06 - Q and M are questioned at the sheriff's office then taken to the hospital to see R who they manage to speak to briefly before M appears and kills R; 07 - Q and M are in the frame for R's murder. M decides they should run. Car chase thru small town. They collect 80, 'borrow' N's plane and run; 08 - E discovers T's disappearance, is suspended by DM then goes to see the YK sheriff. He takes her to a kill site, but it's only animals, not T; 09 - After some chat about the past and Mor, Q dumps N's plane on the tarmac, QME are recovered by EMS and taken to hospital, where they escape; 10 - E runs the gauntlet of the press then releases the Vuls. Q and M progress to YK. Q gets a mystery call. K is on Q's trail and intends to make him pay; 11 - Q calls E and leaves her a message, the Five-Star gets wrecked by a bear, DM is travelling back to YK and speaks with TOM; 12 - Q learns M about a local church, Q and M encounter a bear, Mor talks to TOM; 13 - Q and M reach Golden, learn of the election's status, call EM and then learn that people are dead in YK. Their plan will get them to YK this evening. 14 - EM is interviewed by the FBI and given an ultimatum. DM seems to be working with her, but springs an ambush, tries to kill her, but she escapes. 15 - WK continues north, speaks to his office, speaks to the RCMP, considers his moves. 16 - DM takes full control of things at GX, speaks to TOM, issues orders to increase the chaos. 17 - EM escapes YK, goes to a village to abandon her tech, then makes a choice about her future. 18 - In Canmore, the press of time is getting to Q. WK spies waiting for a train north, a chase on foot ends in a one-sided shoot out. QME escape by drone 'copter. 19 - Journey to YK in drone chopper. Q and M learn how bad things are in YK. They and MC exchange views on a range of subjects. Q learns MC has been manipulating him for some time.

Eh, Porg Pie. Um, don't you skin (pluck?) them first?

I'm very much in the 'If there's a punch line, go for it' camp

That's no fun

I typed crits, gosh darn it. Crits, crits, crits!!!

Bah. I’ve had some issues and I’m not going to be ready till tomorrow morning. I’d better skip this week and submit next Monday, if there’s a slot.

Hey SSmooth, very glad to gave your comments. Thank you for reading I'm retconning this chapter a bit, in that K is not intending to go in shooting, but it's the local cops who do (perhaps because they've been influenced? Not sure on that bit, but not a big deal). To some extent, that is intentional. I don't want it to be massively different to the point of being unrecognisable, but there is supposed to be a shift. As to your theory, well of course I will not confirm or deny, etc. etc., but I'm glad to see you have a theory, but are also entertaining other possibilities. I was certainly hoping folks we be having theories on it by this point. Yeah, it needs a tidy or two, and I had rearranged it a bit from the version I had before subbing. As noted above, K now calls out against the shooting, for reason of consistency with his position, but also for reasons flowing out of @Silk's comments. I think so, I hope. He always mentioned that the woman he found was with his wife. I think it'll be okay. So, yeah, this was one reaction that I thought might come up. I have an explanation, which I will just find and quote here for ease of reference... So, that's my story in relation to this point. I do acknowledge that. There is another NB appearance a bit later, with dialogue, but again not a major character. Yeah, thanks. I've edited the line, and the whole scene will get a going over once or twice more before it settles down, I'm sure. agree. Hmm, yeah. I'll need to think about this possibility. It certainly would rip up my narrative in a lot of ways, although I suspect there is a way to do it without wrecking the whole plot line. I have already had one go at fixing the issues, and there will be others. Thanks to you guys for calling it. Great comments. Thank you!

Welcome to the group, GoWibble. It's always exciting to have another voice on the board. I look foreword to reading your stuff, and hearing your cries down the road maybe

Wowser! I look forward to seeing the pictures, which I will view from my desk in Glasgow

I didn't get it. Last thing that came in was Aeromancer's submission last week, and my own coming back to me.

I'd like to submit tomorrow please.