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Hoid Slayer

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  1. Hoid Slayer
    Or Hippoh
  2. Hoid Slayer
    What about Hopper? Or Carl
  3. Hoid Slayer
    *squeeze* *billion hugs* Yeah Life sucks sometimes But hey We’re all flawed. That ideal you hold yourself to, that sunshine and rainbows you think you see in the people around you; they could be just as broken as you are. They just hide it. We all do, trying to fool even ourselves cause being what we feel isn’t “normal”. Even though, in an odd way, it kinda is (I actually did a science fair project about something like this, and it was super cool, I might share it with you guys.) But the truth is; you’re already perfect. Do me a favor and know that, k? All of you. I’m not saying you aren’t flawed, or can’t improve, or even don’t have cracks that open a little wider each time you fall. But the person you are now; pretty darn awesome. On the other topic; try to stop pretending to be someone different around other people. I’ve struggled with that a lot; like, being different people in different classes, and having crazy different personalities at school vs with my parents. And eventually, it takes its toll. So take the step to stop it. It doesn’t have to be a big one. Maybe just some close friend, or if it’s easier, someone you don’t know that well. With that person, just be yourself. Trust me; it helps. And one last thing: Those little kind acts? They matter. They really do. But they should never come at your own expense.
  4. Hoid Slayer
    Come on We all know you’re names are shshsh and shshshshsh
  5. Hoid Slayer
    @Aeoryi, I was looking through the rules, and could you clarify the Murderer role? I don’t really get it
  6. Hoid Slayer

    Hey

    I see you’ve taken a break

    How’s it going?

  7. Hoid Slayer
    Signing up as Wishikk Makar, a Veden engineer who lost his way and now seeks redemption among the Skybreakers.
  8. Hoid Slayer
    It is time. The last hours have been rough. The last month, if I'm being honest. But the time is finally here. The time to choose a new direction. I step forward; the Shadow stands behind me. I turn to him, and he gives a subtle nod. I close my eyes, and I feel it. The Light, swirling. Ephemeral. Raw potential. Waiting to be grasped. I Say the words. "I will strive to reach my potential, for only then can I make a difference."
  9. Hoid Slayer
    Indeed… Upon swearing my oath, the shadow following me has begun to coalesce more. He seems humanoid… almost a spren. He knows I see him, ut has said nothing. I have settled it; I will confront him tonight. Was NOT expecting this to become my most popular post
  10. Hoid Slayer
    YES That was AWESOME I got chills reading it again
  11. Hoid Slayer
    Sooo… how exactly does this work? For I have journeyed far, and seen much. And yet, there is one thing I can never overcome. My own failure. I have accepted it, and yet I struggle to do better. Some days, I can even swear I see it following me, an inky black shadow that is always watching. Perhaps the Words can help me. For at last, I know they first ones to say. Life before Death Strength… *swallow* before Weakness Journey before Destination
  12. Hoid Slayer
    Bad sarcasm on my part Fist bump back
  13. Hoid Slayer
    To me, of course That he did Totally something bad of him to do Not something I would do ever, of course ... Dang ... Same, though
  14. Hoid Slayer
    *squeeze* I'm with Kansas here Have you tried speaking to your family about it?
  15. Hoid Slayer
    Part two, here we go *massive hugs* I will not "pull a coder" , but I wish the best for all of you Now, for the long part, in reverse chronological order cause that was the easiest way for me to organize it: I'm glad you're exploring with things that feel right to you. Just remember: you don't need to fit into a box. Any box. Gender isn't black and white; it's a constantly fluid spectrum. And only you can decide how you identify. You don't need to want to change your body to be trans. Also, there is the Gay Disasters club that is basically a space for any LGBTQ+ discussion, although this works as well. And finally, I'm glad you feel confident sharing this with us. It's an important step forward. Okayy... Never got to see it, but I'm glad you're feeling better Yay!!! That's incredible to hear! I'm happy to see you were able to find the light even when everything else seems dark; it's an important lesson to remember. And of course, we love you too. For everything. I took a look at that PDF, not because I feel like I need it but just because I wanted to take a look at it. And I ended up finding it really interesting. *squeeze* It seems to me that you might be putting too much pressure upon yourself. Maybe the reason you fall so hard is because you place so much weight upon yourself. I'm just spitballing here, but maybe try being more loose on yourself. Like with text conversations; you don't need to say anything. You can just let what is, be. I also agree with @#1 Taln Fan that real friends shouldn't hurt to trust. I might not be the best one to talk here, as there is a lot I don't tell my friends, but the right people will do everything they can to catch you as you fall. Yup, there it is. You're not weak, 8. I know how you can feel it, cause I feel it to. But we aren't weak. We just need some help. And that's okay. Awesome! My advice still stands. Dang. That's deep. As is the other one you shared, although I don't want to fill this entire post with quote boxes . The commentary about the importance of poetry in saving people was interesting. *squeeze* ... Tentative ? ... You literally described them as evil spirits *squeeze* I've been there. I hope you're doing better now. I find it helps to lower the mask with someone, anyone, even if they're not your closest friends. Sometimes it's easier if they aren't. And it doesn't have to be with everyone. But just the slightest practice can help a lot. Once again, massive hugs to all of you. Finally, making a count of times Glass sent hugs to everyone who needs them: Huh Only twice We love you, Glass
  16. Hoid Slayer
    *crunches knuckles* It has been a long time And there is a lot to get through But get through it I will A long time later... *sigh* I can't get through all of this right now. So consider this part 1, with more coming. So, umm, I know I'm pretty late to this, but, I will respond nonetheless. Because this is something that resonates with me. I understand this And I don't mean that in a "yeah, I get why you might feel like that" kinda way I mean it in a "yeah, I feel like that too" kinda way Well, the nihilism part not so much (I'll get to that later) But definitely the thanatophobic part Now, my fear isn't anywhere near as crippling as yours seems to be, but I've definitely experience it from time to time. In fact, these days, it very rarely affects me. Whenever I have faced it, it normally comes for a period of time, and normally when I'm thinking in bed trying to sleep. I don't really get any physical reactions out of it, and it's not like it paralyzes me or anything. It just terrifies me. So our situations are not the same; but they may be comparable. I understand what you mean by wanting it addressed, and it's actually something I've given thought. And I've reached the conclusion that, personally, I don't necessarily want to not have the fear. I would rather know and face the truth than pretend everything is okay. However, I also mostly address this problem by just... not thinking about it. If I start, I force myself to think about something else. Even now, writing this, I'm not actually "realizing" it in my head, if that makes any sense, what I'm talking about. I also don't want to go into nothingness. But I don't see a way to change it's inevitability. So perhaps, it is better to just acknowledge it, and move on. Because I know it is NOT worth wasting oneself over. As for nihilism... not gonna lie, I had to look that word up just for this, so take this with a grain of salt. I don't think there is a "meaning" to life, in the traditional sense (agnostic working under the assumption of atheism here, and I mostly agree with your views on religion here). We exist because of the way we evolved, to eat, sleep, and reproduce, essentially. But I do believe in happiness, regardless of how short-lived or inconsequential it is in the real scale of things. What I, or you, or anyone feels now won't matter at all a million years from now. But it matters now. Maybe that can be good enough. If you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here. Also really late, and idk if this still matters to you, but I want to answer it I get the defaulting to preset responses thing. For me it's things like "ah" or "oh" or "yeah". *squeeze* for potential depression. Don't stop making jokes. Just think them through before you say them. However hard that instinct can be to override. And finally, for feeling a need to say something... it depends. But sometimes, the other person feels the same awkwardness. Or sometimes, it is just time to let the conversation die. Food for thought. *a billion squeezes* I think I already said that But I'll do it again I clicked that link once It was a long time ago It will not happen again
  17. Hoid Slayer
    First, there is nothing The nothing from which everything stems Then, there is something The something that is mirrored upon everything A boy, in bed, awakens And reaches He grips his phone, resting on his bedside table It is a small, little thing Yet it holds so much power On a whim, he opens a tab long asleep A Shard A club And he Knows It is time for the Hoid Slayer to return
  18. Hoid Slayer

    I’m having that moment where you realize you packed like a bagful of stuff that you didn’t need to bring and now it’s taking valuable space and your new beautiful, softcover books, plus diamond art you brought for no reason, will emerge from this ordeal scarred forever and it forces you to rethink existence cause half the stuff you packed and didn’t need was stuff other people told you to pack and the other half stuff you didn’t even want but felt an inane need to fill space that is stupidly dumb in retrospect and then you realize what a stupid thought the entire thing is, yet how important it feels in the immediate tense, proving the impact retrospectively meaningless things can have on one’s immediate situation and state of mind, and then you realize writing this actually made you feel slightly better about it, before going back into a deep delve into the psychology of human satisfaction

    😁

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. TheUnInvestedCremling

      TheUnInvestedCremling

      Who, you mean /Em@???

    3. KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren

      KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren

      WaT?

      I think so, if I'm correctly guessing what you mean.

    4. TheUnInvestedCremling

      TheUnInvestedCremling

      Yes

  19. Hoid Slayer

    July has no right being a third done

    1. echo74

      echo74

      no dont say that 😭😭

  20. Hoid Slayer
    I would like to get back into this, and I don't really have a good reason for why I haven't been really doing anything lately. I think what we might need is a plot direction. I, for one, have no idea where my story is going, and so I started out kind of waiting for something to happen that I can react to... and that led to me just never responding again.
  21. Hoid Slayer
    Thanks Oof *lots of hugs, plus corgi puppy* Your fears make sense I don’t really know how to help you, since I’ve never been in a situation quite like yours But I think honesty is definitely key
  22. Hoid Slayer

    Alright

    I think I should address something

    Specifically, my inactivity

    I know I haven't been really active, and I would love to say that's about to change, but I've done that in the past and I don't exactly have the greatest track record of keeping my promises

    So instead, consider this simply a recognition, and an intent to do better

    On some specific stuff:

    The Secret Wars RP, as I'm sure those of you involved have realized, is practically dead. I did not anticipate the actual workload it would take to handle plot threads for so many characters at once, and have no intention of picking it back up anytime soon

    I do really want to get back into Cuz I'm Bored, but I don't know how I'll be able to do that

    1. Through The Living Glass

      Through The Living Glass

      *squeeze*

      It's okay

      Life comes first ❤️

  23. Hoid Slayer
    *squeeze*
  24. Hoid Slayer
    First: will try to get to and answer other people's stuff later, prob tomorrow So I was just watching the fourth of July fireworks And it struck me I'm just a kid Someday, these days will be the memories I reminisce about, yet barely remember And honestly, that hurts And then, after thinking that, my next thought was how to tell someone I imagined this exchange playing out And I had to force myself to focus back To enjoy this moment while it lasts Because someday, it will just be a footnote in my life Before it vanishes altogether
  25. Hoid Slayer

    *gasp*

    It’s the second

    And I haven’t changed my profile pic

    Quick

    I need ideas

    Who’s a morally ambiguous character after Kelsier?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Hoid Slayer

      Hoid Slayer

      Mm…

      Spoiler

      But I already got Rayse, and I thin he comes before Rayse on a scale of villainess…

      Maybe Szeth

    3. Kansas Stormcursed

      Kansas Stormcursed

      That's good too

    4. KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren

      KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren

      What about Nale or Jasnah?

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