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Anguished_One

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Anguished_One last won the day on April 28

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About Anguished_One

  • Birthday January 22

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  • Website URL
    I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory; this is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me, if this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me, weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. ~Hamilton
  • AIM
    Woke up in a cell, where am I at? Yeah, it's cold, but I like that What am I, trapped? Heart's beating out of my chest Door's locked, but the keys are in my hands Hmm, yeah, that's where it doesn't make sense, does it? I make songs, I don't make friends,
  • MSN
    judge me Might smile, but it ain't that funny Sing along to the pain, they love it Life's like a merry-go-round And I'm still tryna figure it out I like space, I don't fit in the crowds ~ Outcast, NF
  • ICQ
    Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for falling so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? A broken heart ~ Die From a broken heart, Maddie & Tae
  • Yahoo
    Yeah I’m fine, If"F" is for feeling overwhelmed And "I" is for "I'm not alright" Yeah, I'm fine If "N" is for not being able to sleep E for every night Yeah, I'm fine… ~ Fine, Kyle Hume
  • Jabber
    I am aware, it's aggressive I am not here for acceptance I don't know what you expected But what you expect when you walk in a therapy session, huh?~ Therapy Session NF
  • Skype
    Broken legs, but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion ~ Mansion NF

Profile Information

  • Member Title
    I may look strong but I still feel forsaken.
  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    I love books, books, books, Brandon Sanderson books, God, asking questions, my cats, my family, my friends, my house, buying expensive Stormlight Archive t shirts from Etsy, writing my own stories with my writing group ( aka my three best friends and me) making valiant attempts at writing romance, writing "juicy" scenes, avidly hating math, being socially awkward, drawing, memes, nightblood, singing songs from various musicals (HAMILTON!) and movies, country music, gardening, animals, foreign cultures, the beach, the mountains, geeking out with my friends about all kinds of junk, eating gummy bears, exercising. POETRY! oh, and did I mention reading? ( This is NOT in order of importance)

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Single Status Update

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  1. *sighs*

    Guys...

    I think I'm dying.

    Here's a poem.

    Spoiler

    In My Arms

     
    I
    Hold you close,
    Hold you tight,
    Cradle you
    Against my shoulder.
     
    I love you.
    I hope
    You know that.
    I try to show my love
    In this way.
     
    I think you appreciate it.
    I hope you love it
    As much as I
    Do.
     
    I lay my head
    Against yours,
    Sync my breathing
    With yours,
    Try to make
    The feeling last.
     
    The end of it,
    Unfortunately,
    Is inevitable.
     
    I’m waving.
    I’m hugging.
    I’m saying
    Goodbye.
     
    While on the inside,
    It feels so much
    More final
    Then a simple
    Goodbye.
     
    The tears start,
    After a while.
     
    I don’t try and stop them.
    They, like my goodbye,
    Are inevitable.
    Unable to be
    Stopped.
     
    The tears fall and I find myself
    Holding on to the “bye, Ahna.”
    Grasping the “I love you.”
    Close
    To my heart.
     
    At times, I reach out my
    Hand,
    Wishing your palm was against
    Mine.
     
    Wishing you
    Were in my arms
    Right then.
    I’m
    Counting down the
    Days until,
    I might just
    Get to hold you
    Again.
     
    “I miss you.”
    The words so often
    Fall from my lips,
    Echoing the plea in
    My heart.
     
    I try to stop the words,
    Sometimes.
    I don’t want to be
    More clingy than
    I already am.
     
    Other times,
    I can’t keep them in.
    I hear them back.
    “I miss you too.”
     
    My heart doesn’t want
    To accept your words.
    I don’t think I deserve
    To be missed.
    I am, after all,
    Only me.
     
    It’s just me,
    Here like I usually
    Am,
    Waiting like normal.
     
    Wondering…
    Wishing…
    Hoping…
     
    Is this wrong?
    Am I doing something
    Wrong?
    Is something
    Wrong
    With me?
     
    Sometimes, the confusion
    Sets in.
    The fear,
    The hopelessness.
     
    I realize just how
    Helpless
    Against the world
    I really am.
     
    I wish I could
    Keep you close.
    Always.
     
    I wish I could fix things
    For everyone.
    For you.
    I want to fix it
    For you.
     
    My friend.
     
    I just wish I could
    Keep things the way
    That feels
    Right.
    That feels safe.
     
    My dear friend…
    I love you.
    I can’t wait
    To hold you
    Again.
     
    ~ Stick 4-21-24

    Another SU coming soon.

    You have to read this one to understand the next one though.

    ~ Stick ❤️ 

    1. WhyEverNot_8

      WhyEverNot_8

      *hugs*

      Hope everything gets better

      let me know if you need anything

    2. shortcake
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