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Anguished_One

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Anguished_One last won the day on May 25

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About Anguished_One

  • Birthday January 22

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  • Website URL
    I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory; this is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me, if this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me, weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. ~ Hamilton
  • AIM
    I don't think that anyone gets it So I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin' on in my head I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel So I don't think I'm defective ~ Hurt Myself, Ekoh
  • MSN
    I need a break from my brain From the doubt, from the stress, from the pain This anxiety is killing me and keeping me awake I need a break from my temper It's exhausting to live with the anger It weighs me down and it holds me back ~ Take Me Away, NM
  • ICQ
    I see you Crying in a gown that's blue Screaming through a breathing tube "How'd I get to this place?" I see you Wondering how you came unglued Feeling like your whole life's screwed "Who could love me this way?" ~ ICU, Citizen Soldier
  • Yahoo
    All my life I had to keep fighting And I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying Head like a stone, heart like a lion I'm a prove 'em wrong or I'm a die trying ~ Die Trying, New Medicine
  • Jabber
    Used to pull down my sleeves Used to put makeup on So everyone would think I'm fine and nothing's wrong I buried all the pain, used to feel so ashamed Of all the things I wrote about myself with razor blades ~ Tattoos Citizen, Soldier
  • Skype
    Broken legs, but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion ~ Mansion, NF

Profile Information

  • Member Title
    I didn’t grow up in an abusive home. I am one.
  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 and @Part of The Narative in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    I love books, books, books, Brandon Sanderson books, God, asking questions, my cats, my family, my friends, my house, buying expensive Stormlight Archive t shirts from Etsy, writing my own stories with my writing group ( aka my three best friends and me) making valiant attempts at writing romance, writing "juicy" scenes, avidly hating math, being socially awkward, drawing, memes, nightblood, singing songs from various musicals (HAMILTON! LES MIS!!! IN THE HEIGHTS! NEWSIES! THE GREATEST SHOWMAN!!) and movies, country music, gardening, animals, foreign cultures, the beach, the mountains, geeking out with my friends about all kinds of junk, eating gummy bears, exercising. POETRY! PHOTOGRAPHY!! PHILOSOPHY!! QUESTIONS!! ECONOMICS!! DEBATE! cOnSpIrAcY!!!!! oh, and did I mention reading? ( This is NOT in order of importance)

    *AHAHAHAHAHAHA* ~Hermes at all times

    IF YOU READ THIS YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!!!
    :DDD

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  1. Alone

     

    Spoiler

    Alone

     
     
    Once again
    Here I am
    Alone.
     
    I knew,
    It wouldn’t last,
    I knew,
    It was just to
    Good to be
    True.
     
    And yet,
    I trusted
    That I wouldn’t be
    Hurt
    Left
    Forgotten.
     
    Here I am,
    Alone.
     
    I was held,
    I was loved,
    I thought-
    Not anymore.
     
    Now I’m just here
    Now I’m just crying
    Now I’m just trying
    To hold together
    my breaking heart,
    Pretending that
    I’m fine,
    That we are fine,
    Because nobody cared
    In the first place.
     
    It was all teasing,
    All a joke.
    And I lied
    To myself.
    I said I wouldn’t be hurt again
    Or left, again
    But I was.
     
    It was a stupid decision.
    I should’ve known.
    I won’t be so
    Stupid next time.
     
    I’ll never be
    That naive again.
    I just have to rebuild
    My walls.
    Thicker and stronger
    Than ever.
     
    I have to protect my heart.
    I need those walls up.
    I can’t be broken again.
    I’ll never be that easy to
    Hurt again.
     
    Good luck,
    Trying to break them.
    I’m fine,
    I’m just breaking.
    I’m just hurt,
    I’m just adding
    To my walls
    I’m just adding to
    My trauma.
     
    No big deal,
    It’s normal,
    I saw it coming,
    But I lied to myself.
    It’s my fault anyway,
    I wouldn’t want me if I was him
    Either.
     
    I’m fine.
    Just broken.
    Just abandoned.
    Just alone.
     
    ~ Stick 1-29-24

    ( @Part Of The Narrative, @Shardwatcher01)

    1. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      *hugs and holds*

      We're here for you sis ❤️‍🩹

    2. Part Of The Narrative

      Part Of The Narrative

      *snuggles*

      love you bb

    3. Weaver of Lies

      Weaver of Lies

      *many, many hugs*

      Sorry I’m late, but as Wiz said, we’re here.

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