.png.d41b1ca865930ccf5f63b08a839f908e.png){kind=logo}
Anguished_One
-
Posts
5161 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
26
Anguished_One's Achievements
2.2k
Reputation
Single Status Update
See all updates by Anguished_One
-
I wrote a poem awhile back... so, here.
(spoiler for length and cause it's kinda sad/depressing...)
SpoilerAbandoned
Lost
Forgotten
Alone
Did I ever make a difference?
Do people care?
Does God see?
Why
Why do they wonder?
What is it like to be me?
The lies
So believable
Where are you?
When these feelings take over?
When it takes so much effort just to keep breathing?
When the fear is crippling?
When I am falling apart?
Body,
Mind,
Spirit,
Toppling over.
The wind is strong.
So strong.
I can feel it,
Tipping me toward decisions.
Regrets.
Why do we live?
For purpose?
What is that purpose?
Oh God, where are you?
In my hour of need?
In a matter of life and death?
My life?
My death?
When I need you!
With every fiber of my being
I know, somewhere inside,
That you hold me.
But
Why can I not feel those hands now?
Rest.
What is rest?
Why am I a stranger to so much?
Do my words mean anything?
I toss them up!
Toward you!
Do you hear?
They ricochet endlessly off the ceiling.
Bounce back into my face.
Why? Oh Lord?
Why me?
Did you choose,
When I was made,
To give me these burdens?
So heavy.
I strain under the weight of them,
Crying out for rest!
For help!
All the time,
Wondering.
Wondering
Why,
Wondering when
This load will be lifted
If it even will.
Ever.
I feel hopeless.
Abandoned
Dead inside
Wanting the deadness to consume me
What stops me?
From ending it all?
Facing eternity?
Killing my dreams
My plans
My hope
Myself
Empty.
Why am I here?
You say you have plans for me?
Prove it!
I bleed!
In spirit
In mind
In body
Do you see?
Do you see the suffering?
Why is this called life?
Is there any hope at all?
I am dying!
And yet
You seem to do nothing!
Why?
Lord.
I fall.
Have fallen.
Will continue to fall.
Forever.
Will I be caught?
In anything other than this storm?
Emotions
Pain
Heartache
They swirl inside of me,
Beating against my very soul
Among them all,
The question remains,
Unanswered
Abandoned
Forgotten
Why?
You made us;
So fragile!
We break.
Hurt.
Die.
And you!
Up where it is safe!
Look on and do nothing!?
Why are we like this?
What is the plan?
Why have you hidden from us?
I have dreams.
Nightmares
I am haunted
Creatures lurk
Skitter
Creep
Through the shadows in my soul
There is no escape
Death lives here
In my heart
But
I am still breathing
If only
If only I wasn’t-
These are the thoughts
The thoughts killing me-
Or am I killing myself?
Everything is dark
Cold
Scary
Why?
What kind of life is this?
Would it be better not to live at all?
Who understands?
Not my family!
Not my friends!
Not you!
Tell me, God!
Where are you?
When Hell has come to earth?
When I want to-
Feel as if I need to-
Die
Escape
Fade away
Forever
Would anyone really notice?
If I was gone-
One instant-
One decision-
One jump-
One stab-
One life-
Gone
What if?
Who would care?
Who would weep?
If I
Was
Gone.
Forever.
Can I continue to bear this?
Like I have for so long?
If I just collapse?
The strain is too much!
I am weak!
Alone.
You say that you are always with me?
Then where?
Where are you?!
What must I do to feel your presence?
Empty.
Alone
Abandoned.
~ Stick
- Show previous comments 6 more
-
Me too
You're a wonderful human, and you deserve the joy this life will bring you. I know it hurts right now. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You are loved, even if you can't always feel it.
-
2
- Report
-
-
I know that many people, here and elsewhere, would weep. Me included.
I also know that you are an awesome person. Much more than you probably realize, in fact. And you deserve to be loved.
Sometimes, life seems intent on kicking you in the guts again and again, and you're on the floor and you plead for it to stop but it doesn't, and you feel like you're trash for not being able to get out of it. It is easy, then, to forget who you are, to forget what you've done, to forget what makes you special.
But always remember : you are an incredibly gifted person. I am glad to know you, even a little.
And I promise you that the rain stops one day. Even if the darkness seems infinite, someday you will reach a light. You will be warm again. I don't know how, or when, or where, but I know that you will.
*long hugs*
SpoilerSorry for double pinging all of you. I accidentally hit send halfway through, and hid the half message thinking I could edit it and then unhide it. Turns out you can't, at least on mobile.
Someday I will have to learn to properly use those things called my fingers.
-
3
- Report
