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The Stick

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  1. The Stick
    As Lightweavers runs with the sandwich, I sneak up behind Thaikidar and Lash an awakened steel cord with the command "Strangle things". It immediately crushes Thaikidar's neck.
  2. The Stick
    By allying me, I change the course of the missile that was heading towards Lightweaver. It hits Szeth instead.
  3. The Stick
    I accept this alliance, planting a grenade in Lightweaver's shoe in case of deception. Otherwise, the alliance is secure.
  4. The Stick
    Seeing as the location of the sandwich is unknown, I fire 2000 trellium-harmonium ICBMs at the Cosmere. I then scout for the he sandwich.
  5. The Stick
    Another way to go faster and become extremely powerful as an added bonus is using ChayShan. It seems to increase speed, and the faster you go, the more Dor-Powered you are.
  6. The Stick
    I throw chamfiend squeaky toys at you all and.the chamfiend, who I have befriended, crushes you. I take the sandwich to Na________.
  7. The Stick
    Knight Radiant Order: Planetformers Surges: Double Transformation Surge Combo: They have extreme accuracy with Transformation, capable of transforming single axi. A secret method of creating an explosion equal to nuclear fission was discovered by this order. The one man who knew it was killed and the order was exiled. True Spren: Alterationspren Plate Spren: Volatilityspren Resonance: These unusual radiants are extraordinarily dangerous, being able to Soulcast things from the Spiritual realm into the physical realm if something nearby is weakening the barriers. Ideal Theme: I will alter Oaths: First Ideal: LBD/SBW/JBD Second Ideal: I will alter the world, for good or bad is meaningless. Third Ideal: I will change people themselves. Fourth Ideal: I will alter myself. Fifth Ideal: I will alter myself to Cultivate the world. Lore: This order is by far the closest to Cultivation, favored by her with many blessings. This blatant favoritism by a Shard led to a temporary war with the Honor-favored Windrunners which resulted in the exile of the Planetformers. They operated in small sects, often being important politicians to change the land. They ultimately transmuted a volcano from air next to a Windrunners stronghold and pushed it to explode. This killed nearly half of the order, and two-thirds of the squires. The Planetformers care not for good or evil, merely change. They assumed power for a long while until they dissolved into civil war. They actually voted to go down the path of civil war to encourage change and stop themselves from breaking their ideals. This pattern of civil war and unity remains mostly constant to the present time. Often, Planetformers and spren break their bond and swap bonds with friends quite often. If they did not engage in this strange practice, they would violate their oaths and kill their spren.
  8. The Stick
    One way to fulfill the original issue is to merely turn it into a harmonium-water bullet. The explosion would not be so big as to endanger the user and it would fit inside the shell. An impact based bullet would be best; the only issue is the firing mechanism setting off the shell.
  9. The Stick
    I plot my next moves as I play fetch with your chamfiend.
  10. The Stick
    I think it refers to the one in Alice in Wonderland. I was hiding behind you the whole time. I plunge two Raysium knives into your back.
  11. The Stick
    Sadly for Lightweaver, I am a Dakhor monk. I sacrifice Lightweaver to teleport right behind you. I draw my Raysium knife.
  12. The Stick
    Sadly for you, I was wearing an aluminum hat. I then tug a big lever and the floor beneath you disappears, dropping you into lava.
  13. The Stick
    How dare thee commit such sacrilege. As I lie paralyzed, I plot terrible revenge.
  14. The Stick
    I approve wholeheartedly.
  15. The Stick
    I finish Stormlight Archive 5 and shout who dies to Szeth. He immediately breaks down in tears because it is a character he loves and I take the Sandwich.
  16. The Stick
    I happily start reading for the next week or so.
  17. The Stick
    Of course, I am sorry. I then realize that you are a Sharder and therefore want Stormlight Archive 5 to come out. I threaten to send a virus to destroy the document Brandon is writing in to compel you to give the Sandwich. However, you later realize that I am also a Sharder and would never have destroyed Stormlight 5.
  18. The Stick
    Sadly for all of you poor peasants, while you debated on the legality of taking parts of the sandwich. I leave you a decoy and go to the Nightwatcher. I am given the boon of the Sandwich remaining mine unless stolen on the tenth of [REDACTED], on the day of [REDACTED] on the planet of [REDACTED] at 12:45 P.M in the city of F___________ if and only if the attacker wields Nightblood and is wearing [REDACTED] and using ChayShan while Ascending to a Shard and dancing with the [REDACTED] in hand. I am given the bane of being unable to eat cereal on Tuesdays.
  19. The Stick
    For the archer bit, Brandon was inspired by a story of Genghis Khan doing something similar. Keep in mind that the Alethi were largely based on the Mongols.
  20. The Stick
    Sadly for you all, I am bonded to an inkspren and Bondsmith spren. The sandwich you had all along was a decoy and the real one is currently in [REDACTED].
  21. The Stick
    Sadly for you, I use my quantum physics engine to fix reality to where I have the sandwich and then open a perpendicularity. I use my Elsecaller abilities to Soulcast you and everything within a fifty mile radius of me to fire.
  22. The Stick
    You claimed you were not Invested. Regardless, there was secret harmonium in the missiles.
  23. The Stick
    Knight Radiant Order: Worldhealers Surges: Progression and Transportation Resonance: They can heal while partially in the Cognitive Realm. True Spren: Mercyspren Plate Spren: Helpspren Ideal Theme: I will be there when needed; I will help. Oaths: First Ideal: LBD/SBW/JBD Second Ideal: I will heal those who need help. I will be there for them. Third Ideal: I swear that I will never refuse to help somebody. Fourth Ideal: I accept that I will not always get there in time. I accept that sometimes I will be incapable of helping. Fifth Ideal: I will become help. I will bring a light of mercy and kindness upon the land. Role: Historically, Worldhealers function as emergency medics and first responders. They can heal somebody from the Cognitive Realm, making them optimal healers. They had a historical rivalry with Edgedancers because they made Edgedancers obsolete for nearly a century. It was only the signing of a treaty giving Edgedancers primary healing on battlefields was the feud ended. The mission of any Worldhealers is to be there in time to help others.
  24. The Stick
    I stand in my fortress and press the big red button. Immediately, 500 intercontinental ballistic homing trellium missiles are fired at your position. They then make impact, vaporizing you.
  25. The Stick
    While you were pretending, my hundreds of Larkins ate your Investiture so Nightblood killed you.
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