Mr. Misting

Hi, hello, I'm not going take the time to read through the whole thing or be politically correct, because I just have one completely factual comment: How is this a debate? Everyone knows the best candy is red vines.

Heck, that's fascinating. You've hooked me with that opening, so I'd say that's pretty good way to start. Especially as the central mystery, the prologue gives a lot of setup and intrigue to the mystery while still having nice momentum to keep people reading to the end of chapter. I like it a lot. Good luck not ditching it! As for feedback, I have two minor nitpicks that just depend on what you want to accomplish with the opening. First, not naming the character. Not having a name works for giving a sense of large scale of the event and general confusion. But if this guy is the main character or someone that might show up later, I think giving him a name might clear things ups. Nameless character opening shots can be really cool, but consider the reasons why you are doing it. Second, the directions after every paragraph. These were super interesting and in a lot of cases, really brought me back to the mystery. Like for example, "Something inside of his mind was screaming too. Run." "His speed increased. Run." But maybe consider if you need them after ever paragraph. I thought I would be bugged by the density of them more then I actually was, but still maybe consider if you need that many and if so many should be run.

Johnston stabbed towards Antin's stomach with his fist of knives and tried to shove past him. Quest stumbled to a stop and finished his spell with a flare of green light surrounding him, and was finally able to push his glasses up. "Bandit." Quest panted. "Trying...to... kill." He reached behind his back and tenderly pulled out a dagger. "Ow." Yeah Miyako conceded. Hey, did her majesty say she needed us for anything else besides the princess's training, or do we have free run of her castle? How much you suspect we're being watched?

Quest sprinted through the trees, panting heavily, one hand clutching his satchel and staff to his side and the other trying to frantically start a spell. His glasses were almost falling off his face but he couldn't spare a limb to push them up. Quest didn't stop as he saw the grayscale man and a new and rather striking fellow down the road, and he didn't have the breath to call out to them. He just started running in their direction A second later, Johnston came roaring through the woods. He held a fist of daggers in one hand and the other was covered in sickly green scales and claws. He was smoking, and part of his hair looked singed. Quest had hoped the fire would distract him for longer. Johnston came barreling towards Quest, as Quest continued running towards Antin and Havri.

You hear an sudden roar echo from the forest. It sounds like the bandit Johnston you have met, but more angry and bestial.

Miyako sighed. Fine. I know. It just feels seven kinds of wrong to be sitting here doing nothing, while being in her house.

Yeah, well... Miyako grumbled. Look, we've got reason to kill them and as fine as I am running away from the Queen right now, leaving her rotting on this island will haunt us later. Kill your demons before they can kill you. Maybe we leave the island and go find some mythic fighter and point them in the Queen's direction. I don't know. But we should be trying to work towards revenge regicide, yeah? "I, um, yes I know! You can rob me, but I, um, just found..." Quest's mind went blank as he tried to think of an excuse, "well, a bunch of dead bodies. In the woods. Um, it looked like they were in a fight?" Johnston's eyes narrowed. "Sure mate. Sure." He paused menacingly. "Wait, like a lot of dead bodies?" "Yes." Quest replied woodenly. Johnston looked down at the hole and back at Quest. "Show me quick, and if it's interesting I might not rob you. Not too much, at least." "Ok." Quest sighed meekly, and walked into the woods, leading Johnston away from the hole. What am I doing Quest thought? What if the man in the hole is also a bandit or eats babies? I don't even know that guy! This had better help him. @Ookla the Silver

Johnston grunted. After a couple of minutes, Quest worked up his nerve and a barely passable smile. He stepped out from behind the tree. "I, um, hi!" Quest said shakily to Johnston. "I, uh, was just birdwatching when I felt the earthquake, would you, uh, know what that was about?" Johnston's face sharpened. "Mate. You know who's forest you're in?" Miyako paused. Well...yeah. The Queen's gone and murdered Yerik's dad. Me and her got bad blood between us. And while we're at it, we should stick a sword or two in the princess also. No one can just run me around a track like a dog. Bloody tides, yeah we're gonna kill them.

"Bet it does." The woman said, grinning. "Tell you what, I'll go and grab a rope or something to help pull you out of there, and Johnston here, will be waiting right at the top to make sure you're alright. Don't worry, Johnston wouldn't hurt a fly. At least until you make him angry." The woman leaned towards Johnston and whispered something quickly, before sprinting into the woods, back where she had come from. "Be right back!" She called. Quest adjusted his glasses, weighing his options now that the woman was gone. Looking over Johnston was intimidating, he was all muscles and knives, with literal bandoliers of knives across his expansive chest. Hmm. He could maybe incapacitate Johnston or push him into the hole.... Quest looked over his shoulder, and the easy escape into the woods. "I was just planning on birdwatching today", Quest mumbled dejectedly, "not whatever this is." Miyako sighed. That's a hassle and a half. Ok: Greenie and Knives. That work for you Greenie? Miyako said with a smirk. @Ookla The Storyteller Miyako nodded. I'm with you Acolyte. We'll get the Queen.

The woman smirked and replied back to Antin. "Lovely! Now, mate, have I got a proposition for you. Our boss, Laenshtour might just be wanting to meet a lovely fellow like you. What do you say that we get you out of that hole and then we bring you down over to our boss's den?"

More frantic whispering commenced. Quest could only catch pieces of it. "...people don't just fall outta the sky..." "...you want to be the one to take that chance?.." "...if he's lying, we'll get it later..." "...sure, go make a god mad, genius..." The woman spoke down to Antin, cautiously. "Say mate, do you have a way out of there?"

The woman paused and began whispering with Johnston quickly. She turned back to the hole more careful. "You wouldn't happen to be a god mate, some sort of ancient being? You say you just woke up down there?"

"Yeah, sure, sure. But mate, my friend Johnston here, the big idiot he is, swore he saw a star or something fall around here. Wanna double check you don't anything in that hole with you?"

"Well mate, you must have a pretty thick skull!" The woman replied brightly. Johnston chuckled darkly. "Say, can you see what's down there? I can barely see you from up here!"

The woman perked up and ran towards the hole. "Hey, someone down there?!" She turned back to the man. "Johnston, you hear something?" Johnston shrugged. Quest shrunk further behind his hiding tree. He'd already made the mistake of being to trusting with the strange man who was now in the hole, and these people were blatantly of the roguish persuasion. So he probably shouldn't try to talk to them...Quest briefly considered trying to push them into the hole, but quickly realized how poorly that would go. Quest would be more likely to trip over his own staff first. And so Quest continued to hem and haw behind his tree.

Antin waited, then realized Quest had left. What's happening up there? "I'm telling you Johnston! A bloody big thing came down across the sky and crashed somewhere over here. You felt the rumble!" Quest peeked out through a bush, and saw a woman break through the trees on the other side of the road, still shouting over her shoulder. She was short and lithe, covered in bits of leather armor and metal, with a massive crossbow hung over her shoulder. Quest watched as her face dropped in surprise upon seeing the massive hole. "Johnston, found it! It's real!" A man came up behind her, about to mutter a retort when he saw the hole. "Seven skies." He said in wonder. "What could have made that?"

Quest peered over the hole, watching as the dark outline of man effortlessly descended the hole. "Oh, hmm." That was impressive. As Quest pulled his rope out, he heard the sound of footsteps and brash laughter crashing through the woods on one side of the road, coming towards Quest. Quest paused for a moment and then ducked towards the other side of the road from the voices. He frantically adjusted his glasses, while throwing himself behind a tree. The voices came closer.

Quest blinked. A very forward stranger. "I, um, can you see down there? I could maybe conjure some fire if that would help. Are you sure you will be...safe climbing that? I swear I have some rope somewhere in my pack..." Quest said, fumbling through his satchel. Huh. So ya saying if we escape her influence real fast, then she won't have time to get all swords and venom on our minds? Miyako's face hardened. She could guess what Acolyte was feeling. She reached across to Yerik, and tapped him on his shoulder with her fist, to show solidarity.

"Well, probably." Quest looked away from the washed out man. It was best not to make assumptions about people. "But I would imagine that anything that fell from the sky would be, valuable, or rare, or...something. What could carve a hole into the earth like this? Isn't that fascinating?"

"Oh, hmm." That was a fair point. Quest frowned slightly. "You, um, wouldn't happen to be a bandit, would you?"

"No, it's well, just a little curious. Um." Quest turned back to the hole, feeling rather awkward. "Well, I don't know if this is a falling star exactly, but it's certainly something." He stared into the deep hole for a second. "Oh! You don't suppose that if we both heard the meteor, than someone else would? This is bandit territory right? Do you, um, think they might come try to find what caused the sound. Miyako snorted. That's super vague Voice. What happened to them, tell it straight? You feeling all good Acolyte? Miyako clarified to Yerik. You're looking good and sunk

"Well, maybe not exactly a falling star, but that's just what one hears about, um, would..." Quest trailed off, looking at the figure closer. "I, um, are you quite all right? You look a little, um...washed out?"

Miyako tried to subtly look over at the chefs, to see if they had noticed Yerik's odd behavior. It was not very subtle. Yeah, but what exactly we trying to succeed at? Miyako said. Quieter, just to Yerik, Miyako said Oi, Acolyte. You cutting clean? Quest jumped at the voice, almost dropping his notebook over the edge. Desperately scrambling, he managed to grab it and turn around. "Oh, um, hello! Yeah, that was terrifying! Did you see it, hear it? I mean, I've heard stories of falling stars and all, but, well, I never thought one would drop right in the road before me. Um, have you heard of anything like this?"

Quest looked up at the sky, carefully scanning for anymore surprises. There didn't seem to be anything, just clear skies and a few trailing clouds. Quest looked back at the hole. "Huh. Um.." Quest squatted down besides the edge and pulled a notebook out his satchel, detailing what he was seeing. Sudden hole appeared, about 15 feet width... Quest wrote. This was fascinating.