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Everything posted by That1Cellist
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You know, all things considered, I've been doing pretty well recently. Thank you all.
I'm trying really hard not to see myself as useless and unwanted right now. It's very difficult. And because I'm so stupid I feel the need to tell this to random people on the internet. Am I not amazingly intelligent?
In other news, has anyone read Howl's Moving Castle, the book? As opposed to watching the movie?
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Isn't the future scary?
I don't want to think about it. Not just because of the things that I'll have to do, but the things that I won't be able to do. I am fully prepared to fail, even though you'd think with my emotional safeguards it wouldn't hurt so much.
It will. It will. I don't want to say goodbye.
Isn't it funny how we all cling on to life so closely? What is it that makes us so afraid of it? Many of us claim not to be, but then, why do we hold on to it so closely? Why do we live? Why do we keep going?
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I’m late, but here you go anyway.
Tired. That’s the emotion. That’s all that’s left; being tired. Tired of living. Tired of thinking, and making choices. Tired of ruining what you try to fix. Tired of saying the same words, crying the same tears, dreaming the same dreams. Tired of the lies you are told, and the lies you tell yourself. A thousand tears you cry, and they change nothing. A thousand tears won’t fix what’s broken inside you. A thousand tears won’t make the world care. So a thousand tears hide, unshed. A thousand tears, forgotten and ignored.
Nothing, nothing. Oblivion. Being gone. What could be better? For if you can’t change the words you say, the things you feel, what is the point? Why do we try? It is the blessing, or the curse, of being human. To feel. Why, why, must we be cursed with such a thing as love? Love makes people fight. Love is something we cannot seem to understand. Because love lets others care. No matter how much you fail, no matter how much you hurt them, there are people who, against all logic, will continue loving you.
Death will not fix it.
Life will not stop it.
We can only run for so long.
We can’t hide in false worlds forever.
If today were your last day alive, how would you live it? Who would you be leaving behind? Is the unknown really so much better than this life? The pain ends. The darkness leaves. You can find the moments of joy, and treasure them like the gems they are. Hold on through the bad, and savor the good. It is there. You can create it. You can find it.
My words may change nothing. Words rarely have the effect we want. But death will not fix a heart. Death will not bring what you desire. “I don’t know just how, but it’s not over till you’ve one. When you see the storm is coming, see the lightning part the skies, it’s too late to run, there’s terror in your eyes. What you do then is remember this old thing you’ve hear me say: it’s the storm not you, that’s bound to blow away. Hold on, hold on to someone standing by. Hold on. Don’t even ask how long or why. Child hold on to what you know is true. Hold on till you get through. Child oh child. Hold on!”
—Hold On, the secret garden.
I don’t mean to get too deep or long or depressing (although I already have), but I’ve had these thoughts, these feelings, and death won’t help.
You’re a great human, feel free to ignore me I’m probably just making things worse. Bye!
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Thank you @Aes Sedai. I would like to respond with my own thoughts, but I am out of words it seems.
I will come back to this and read it again, as your words have moved me greatly. Thank you.
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Happy birthday Cinnamon. Have you, by any chance, listened to the Star Wars Bad Lip Reading song "Hostiles on the Hill"? They talk about cinnamon the spice in that song.
