NerdyAarakocra

I fire my canon cannons and cannon canons at Platypus, retaking the sandwich via my canonical artillery.

TOCF was not to be confused with Tocf.

What do you mean

*egnever sa sniw*

Tomb of Anihilation is so fun to break. We have the characters: a gnome wizard (Alsphen) who's actually a two hundred year old ghost possessing a gnome. We then have her granddaughter, (Maya), who's a happy gnome druid but also is fueled by a drive for vengeance against a turtle. Our double-type dragonborn/human barbarian/paladin (Onyx) has Merrshaulk, the OG yuan-ti god stuck in his head. Fortunately, Merrshaulk can be bribed with rats. Onyx has a dragon therapist. There's the new player, a weretiger sorcerer named Pyro. There's me, a bi Githzeari monk (Nameless) who has like five attacks per round and who gets forced to invade everyone's mindscapes. This is the part where we get the puzzle cubes, so we all have gods just chillin' in our heads. There are the DMCs: Soren, a cleric who can't do squat, Nary, a random devil bard who is in a relationship with Soren, Ash, Nary's twin brother, the prince of the eighth layer of the nine hells (with even more trauma than our characters), and Azaka, a weretiger blood hunter who does things and is also Pyro's sister. Ash and Azaka are on a sidequest. Merrshaulk can't do evil god things while inside Onyx's head, so he's created a reality TV show to cover Ash's sidequest. This is called 'The Snake Channel' and we're trying to stop it from becoming a multinational media sensation. Also, Nary can sorta just see the future. The session opened with us trying to find the Tomb of the Nine Gods. We then had a fight with some Yuan-ti. One of them tried to attack me. As a monk, I have Deflect Missiles. My DM said that I was surprised and couldn't use it, but she forgot the fact that the magic item she gave me prevents me from being surprised. I used Deflect Missiles. We then beat the yuan-ti with the power of setting fire to bushes. There were some normal snakes that wanted to kill us, but we bribed them with rats. We found a yuan-ti settlement, and entered. Onyx got Merrshaulk to do the talking, and we got in. Merrshaulk tried to possess him, but I jumped into Onyx's head to stop it. Onyx tried to do diplomacy but failed, so we just bribed all of the guards with rats. This is a thing that worked. We then talked to Merrshaulk's daughter-in-law and tried to do diplomacy shenanigans, because the rats didn't work. It turns out that being the only people capable of stopping the entire planet from getting destroyed is pretty good leverage. Next session promises to be fun. Also, turns out rats are good for bribery.

"Wait, when was this?"

"When did you do that?" I yell back, as the Sandwich flickers in my hands.

Not Sarene, not Steris. This character is in a relationship. This character is cosmere-aware.

Five, there.

This character is in a relationship.

"Good. We'll leave shortly." Glena looked around the room. "Does anybody else want to come?"

Glena raised an eyebrow at that, but continued on. "It went on like that for a while. We had our wars and alliances, and used mortals as pawns. It was too late that we realized how unsustainable that relationship was." "Eventually, a group of mortals got sick of this. They hid from us, plotting, preening, warping my threads of magic and twisting them against us. By the time we realized this, they had stolen much of our power. We raised champions from the faithful. During the battle, I was forced to cut the threads of magic to prevent our loss. Naturally, this hurt me. That is why I cannot control my own form." "We agreed, all of us, to meddle less in the affairs of mortals. As our influence lessened, the mortals that we presided over grew and changed. We provided a nudge here, a whispered suggestion there, but eventually we decided to leave. We said our farewells to our priests and headed beyond. Every century or so, we check back to see how our world is doing. I suppose that you'd call their nations 'Cyberpunk." Glena smiled. "The time has almost come for my pilgrimage. I will return to my people, remind them of my presence and select the next magi of my world. If you'd like to come, feel free. I'd be happy to show some visitors around."

For me, I felt uncomfortable being labeled as male. After a long angst-ridden identity crisis, I thought: "Screw it, I don't identify as male so I guess I'll just say I'm enby and see if that works with how I think of myself." It worked, although I accidentally came out to one of my friends twice. Fun times. Hope this helps!

Either Szeth or Ishikk.

I recover quickly. I give platypus the receipt for my hospital stay. While he's reading over it, I grab the sandwich, leaving both Platypus and the Caterpillar none the wiser.

However, I already stated that I had switched the sawdust with the actual sandwich! As you realize your mistake, I escape with the actual sandwich.

So, how will you upend the world economy again? Must... obey...

Glena smiled. "You would want my sister for that. I'd be happy to introduce you when I see her next."

But it turns out that I had the sandwich all along and had used my r4d ski11z to switch it while Platypus was celebrating his victory!

I get some ice cream and use my r4d ski11z to take the sandwich from Altonic.

I remember that! How did that encounter go?

I bury Being of Cacophony in trombones. I then teleport the sandwich out of the trombone pile and into my hand.

You can always just turn Autoplay off and open links in new tabs. It's an easier way to avoid a rickroll.

I'm an Aternos user with the username DNDplayer4. I can admin.

"Nothing much, I'm afraid. I wouldn't be your best source, although if you're really interested... Anyway. Should I continue my story?"