Thaidakar the Ghostblood

Opinion:

Wind and Truth is a title I would expect to be on the cover of a study on the gastrointestinal system.

Am I wrong?

I should go to sleep soon-

I have plans for tomorrow...

You are hereby awarded "The 17th Shard's Best PFP Award 2023."

(please refrain judgement until the end of this giant post. It'll make more sense if you do.

I've been unsure about something for the past few weeks, even maybe a few months. It's something that a lot of you are most likely rock solid sure on and would say "Yes, do it, it's good!" But, as for me, I am not as sure. I know that people have found a way to walk the line and still feel like they have done good in the world. I can see what they're doing and I dreadfully want to join them.

But something holds me back.

I feel like almost any decision I make will offend people. Whether I decide to do it or not. Or any of the other things that I could do here. I feel like there are three main decisions. One, I choose to do it and try to live on the line like other people are. Two, I just decide never ever to do it and live with the guilt of knowing I am shutting wonderful people out. Or three, the decision I inevitably think I will make.

I love all of you. You are all wonderful, amazing people who I want to be friends with forever. Especially those of you who I've had disagreements with. Yet, will my decision change the way you want to be friends with me? I hope not. I really hope not. My decisions will never ever be meant to hurt you or others. They aren't supposed to. Every time I think about the decisions I will have to inevitably make as a writer, I think about here. I think about all the wonderful friends I've made. Will my decisions, as I have mentioned, hurt you, even if I don't want them to? Perhaps... and perhaps I'll just have to find a way to live with that. I don't want to. I really, really, really, really, really don't want to do it. But I do have to make the choice that I can feel like I can make while still being who I am as a believer, as a friend, as a brother, as a son, as a best friend, as a writer, and as a priesthood holder. 

I don't want to make y'all mad. I really don't want y'all to think that by what I'm going to say, that I dislike you for who you are. That isn't true. I love you for who you are. You're all amazing. I love the fact that we, in this world, have different ways that we look at our reality, different beliefs about God, different views on what things mean. I never ever want that to change. But if I can accept the fact that you all can think different than me, shouldn't I accept that I can think differently than all of you?

I've been thinking about this for a long time. A very long time. I've prayed about it, I've pleaded with God for a way that I can do the thing that will offend people the least. 

However, I don't feel like I can do that. I don't feel like God wants me to do what I want to do in this respect. 

Instead, I am doing something that gives me both peace of mind and assurance that God will be pleased with me. 

The issue I have been talking about is LGBTQ++ (Idk how many others letters are in there. I should look it up sometime) in my own writing. I've always said to myself, family members and friends that I don't know how to write it, but will try to put representation of the LGBTQ community into my stories. I always thought there were only two decisions, the one that just puts it in and ignores the fact that I don't know what God wants me to do for it, or the one that simply doesn't and never considers it again. 

Now I think there is a good thing that I can do. I've realized that it's not up to me to make that choice. God needs to be a part of the choice. I simply believe that God has not revealed yet to me what to do in this. So, I will wait until he tells me, either through revelation, through scriptures or through his prophets and apostles. I love all of you and want to be able to include LGBTQ content into my stories, but I simply don't know what my church's stance on putting it in writing is. I want to wait till I know before I do so. 

The third choice is accepting that I simply don't know yet. I want to know what God says about it before I make any concrete decisions.

I hope none of you hate me for this. I could've just kept this all to myself and never mentioned it on here, but I really felt like I needed to talk about this. If any of you found this offensive, let me know why either in the replies or by PM. I want to know how to not offend people while still putting forth my beliefs and opinions. It's something so very important to me to know how to do. If I'm breaking a rule somehow, please let me know so I can remove the offensive thing from my post.

One more thing. I know I've said it already a bunch on here, but I love all of you. You're awesome people. This community is one of the best things that have happened to me. I don't ever want to leave here for any reason.

MY GOOD FRIEND!

I saw you were referenced in the Defiant Reactions Shardcast.

I can't believe I briefly forgot you existed. I hope you're having a wonderful day, my friend!

It is time to talk about what is both my greatest hypocrisy and greatest love, when it comes to fiction

I typically hate movie covers on books. It is almost always just a random picture from the movie adaptation that looks cool, or just some random thing (I'm looking at you, Contact.) I hate the all.

Except for two of them.

Now, I have reasoning for why I like them. You might not like my reasoning, but that reasoning will stand till the end of time.

My tier list for movie covers is:

One of the ones I like at S tier.

The other one I like at B tier.

All the rest of them at F tier.

Now those two covers are as follows. The first one being the S tier, the second being the B tier.

Alright, now that y'all are done raising your eyebrows and laughing because they're bad, let me explain why I love them to death.

Imagine that you're a nine year old boy. Imagine you've begun your first forays into fantasy, you've just finished the first Harry Potter books, the Little Prince, and the Hobbit. Now, you want something more. You loved the hobbit and you know that there are sequels and that there are big movie adaptations for at least the sequels that sound pretty cool. Now, imagine you got those sequels from the library, read them, adored them.

Now, as you loved those books, you want your own copies to read and love. So you go to a lending library nearby and find, lo and behold, copies of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The Fellowship of the Rings, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King.

You're overjoyed that you found them! You take them home after leaving some books and read them all over again. In fact, over the years, you reread them again and again, even after reading other books too. Especially that first one. You read the first few chapters of Fellowship again more than all the other parts, even those cool maps, because you simply enjoy Bilbo Baggins and Frodo Baggins doing their thing.

As time goes by and growing up starts to suck the happiness away, you think of those times, reading the books, with fondness. You begin to grow attached to the memories of the Shire and Minas Tirith and Rohan and Khazad Dum. The love of Middle Earth becomes intrinsically associated with those novels. They are your favorite place ever. 

Then, imagine, slowly those copies fall apart. One loses its cover (The Return of the King), one you realize looks like utter garbage (The Two Towers). You get new copies of those that you don't like as much, but they're still ones you love. And then, finally, that copy of Fellowship of the Ring with Frodo on the cover holding aloft Sting gets beaten up, both covers fall off, a few pages get ripped out by accident.

And, so, instead of just getting your ordinary copy of the Fellowship of the Ring from somewhere, you look for the same version of the book, the same cover, the same sort of feel to it. And, before long, you find it and adore it all over again. It even smells almost the same!

That book, with it's nostalgic cover, that nostalgic feel, that fantastic smell, the dogeared cover, the creases in the binding... it feels like your best friend has come back after years of not seeing you and gives you a hug.

That, my friends, is my argument that the movie cover version of Fellowship of the Ring is the best version of a book ever. I'm going to do a reread of LotR sometime and am going to forcibly strip away my critic's lenses, remove the way I look as a writer, and try to remember a nine year old boy who found a friend in the Fellowship of the Ring.

(P.S. if you were wondering, the two towers copy I had didn't match the other two, had a dopy picture of Orlando Bloom on it, and was laid out in a way I heavily disliked)