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Everything posted by xinoehp512
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1461 days.
4 years.
What a time it has been.
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Null Alpha [Connection requested.] [Name: FQHTZRH] [Timestamp: 1459]The Void is coming. The future I saw made real, my darkest fears made truth. I've preserved what remains, frozen it Silent in the name of one day being reawakened. It hit me as I finished that this might be the last time I see them. Ever.
The future could change. This I know. But deep down, I know it will not.Even as I say this, I don't wish to believe it. I want to believe that the path forwards is not inevitable. I want to believe that this is not the end. I want to believe in hope. But I don't. Not anymore.I could just... end it. I may not be able to change the future, but I can change the past. Everything will dissolve into the Void in the end, so why not always have been Void? No pain. No fear. Only Silence.But I suppose it is a lie to say I could. It goes against the very fiber of my being to accept the thought of anything being lost. It is a poor substitute for hope, but it will have to suffice.[Connection terminated] -
I'm feeling bad so I'm going to write and its going to be bad but I'm not going to stop because that's what everyone says to do when your stuck is just keep going and I don't know if I can just keep going because I've been stuck at doing it before but I'm going to try and I'll keep going for as long as I can or until I run out of time and I'm already running out of ideas so I'll just talk about the color blue which didn't always exist it used to be green before it was blue and I made a joke about it once and was a tomato a lifetime ago before everything ended and I turned into ash multiple times and this is getting dark because of course it is what else could I expect this reminds me of free association I learned about in Psychology maybe it actually counts I'm not entirely sure I guess it could I don't like where that goes in that case, but I already knew that I guess since things haven't exactly been the greatest and oh no I'm out of time.
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6 months ago, I surrendered to fear.
It was the right decision to make... but nothing has been the same since.
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No Xino, you are so much more.
You are one of the most influential people here, look at The Creator Games, you rallied dozens of individuals in ways most could only dream of.
You are unique, the only you that will ever exist. That alone makes you invaluable. And what you do with it, the words you speak, the movements you start. You are worth more than anyone could possibly imagine.
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FRUSTRATION
Nothing is coming out correctly. No thought can pull together. Nothing can be done at all.
WHY is this SO HARD?
I have an everything block... somehow I can't pull together the motivation to do anything but mindlessly surf Youtube. Not that I would be able to do much on my weak computer at school, but I could at least write!
But writing doesn't really feel... fulfilling. I'm struggling even getting this much out.
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D'you need a prompt? I can get you a prompt. I doubt that'd work, though.
I get where you're coming from, my guy. When such a massive creative block with such an insane desire to create... if there was a magical solution to it, you'dve found it already. So I can't really offer you anything but my sympathy.
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