MistbornAlpaca

I would like to submit this week if that's cool, and I promise I won't spam your inboxes with FOUR emails this week!

Summary of part 1 Kaladin's still mopy, so no change there... Kaladin punches Roshone in the face, YES!!!!! I don't think we'll have a problem with mating as long as Pattern's around Amaram's a highprince, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Shallan's has an identity crisis and subsequently defeats an ancient evil who turns out to be a maliciously curious spren, and on top of all that, she continues to create different personalities for herself Dalinar's reputation as the Blackthorn comes back to bite him Dalinar really needs a steak knife, so that assassination attempt was right on time Dalinar is married by the God of Storms, then starts remembering his previous wife's name, how mysterious and unfortunate Voidbringers like to play cards and pick flowers, how cute And finally, Jasnah's back, so that's good

Welcome @Fineous , have an upvote! Welcome to the Shard, don't accept cookies.

Welcome @MistRunner KC! DON'T Accept cookies, no matter what! Also, have an upvote.

Sure is, thanks!

I have made it, and still am until my book arrives sometime today! This is the first book I've ever had to wait for, and I'm super excited to go into it totally blind! Congrats to all you other Sharders who also made it to Oathbringer Day spoiler free!

Welcome, @Blazenella! First off, before you do something you'd regret, don't take @MacThorsten's cookie, and don't go down the Dark Alley. Finally, have an upvote (I hope you don't mind from a lighteyes) and hopefully one day you'll win that Shardblade!

Thanks @TKWade! No idea who Gara is, as I don't watch anime, but I'm glad you liked the story, and I'm glad to be here! I'd also just like to apologize for spamming your inbox with FOUR of my emails. I was getting an error every time I sent it saying it couldn't be sent. That's what was going on, sorry for blowing your inboxes up.

Welcome, to the Shard @Setzersteel , happy reading, and have an upvote! Just a little warning before I go. Don't go down the Dark Alley, and I second what @The Forgetful Archivist said about no cookies, they tend to be bad for your health if you know what I mean.

Thanks, @Paracosmic_nomenclator for all your comments! I tend to ignore grammar and phrasing in the first draft (which this was) but all of these phrasings you suggested really help! I'm going to go through here and give my thoughts on your comments. There are a few things I would like some suggestions on. This is pure fantasy, so I'll definitely change that to the world, thanks! Just to clarify here, and I'll have to change the wording so it makes sense in the .doc. The sand is running up FanTar's body, forming a shield, which TonHar's spear hits, and the shield kind of melts around the spearhead. This is what I was visualizing as I wrote this, so I'll have to change the wording there, but thanks for pointing that out. Thanks for catching that. This definitely suggests a very large pendant, or that the Stone has changed sizes, so I'll have to think about what I want to do here... Not sure why I put this in here actually, thanks for the suggestion on what to replace it with. Let me explain what the Life Stone does here, and you can give me your thoughts on how to make this more clear, or at least remove the desire to see the city first. My basic idea for the Life Stone is that, beyond providing raw power, it finds/creates water, which is put into the city well somehow, (not sure on that part yet) and the reason the city is going to die without it is because the well will dry up, and this is the only city on a desolate world of endless sand, totally devoid of water. That's how the Life Stone influences the lives of the people in the city. Any suggestions on how to change this to suit my purpose better? First off, thanks! Second of all, I'm glad the impact of the magic came across, I was really trying to convey that and I'm pleased it worked. Third, the ability to create sandstone out of nothing is something I'm still tweaking and toying with, and I agree that it's probably overpowered. I'm trying to find some other power, maybe just the combined powers of all the Orders, not sure on that one yet... The names of the powers/Orders are the first things that came to mind when I thought of this idea about a year ago, and I'm not super happy with them, so any suggestions would be appreciated. Summary: This gave the effect I was hoping for, and I'm very thankful for all of your comments and suggestions!

No problem @MacThorsten, although I do have to say you should really get yourself out of that bakery, it tends to warp the mind. And just a little tip @Aurora the Rioter , don't go down the Dark Alley, it's pretty shifty.

Welcome to the Shard @Aurora the Rioter ! Good to have you here! Happy reading, don't accept cookies (or any baked goods for that matter), and have an upvote! Also, @MacThorsten, you didn't actually give Aurora an upvote. See what the Dark Alley Bakery does to people!

Great story @WritingAubergine! I love the voice of the narrator and the crazy twist on the classic fairy tale! Also, I'm not very good at this whole writing thing yet, so don't take anything I say as fact. I'm basing all of my comments on my personal observations and feelings, and my suggestions are what I would do to fix it. The ending where the narrator begins talking to Paul really threw me out. I think you realized this might happen based on your question about the framing. Establishing the framing at the beginning a little more would definitely help. Besides what I just mentioned, the dialogue from the big goat threw me off. He starts off with a lot of contractions and short sentences with bad grammar (I love it!) But he then transitions into longer sentences without any contractions at all. Another thing about his dialogue threw me off, which is where he goes from saying that he's told his family trolls are nice, to yelling at Bert telling him they're all thieves. This might be because this goat has a temper, but he seems to jump to a conclusion that all trolls are evil based on this one experience, which was a little difficult to believe. The other thing that threw me off was the ending dialogue. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on, but I think this could be solved by introducing Paul and giving some lines of dialogue from the narrator in the beginning, similar to what we see in the end. 3. While nothing made me laugh out loud, I was smiling the whole time I read this. The footnotes really add a lot of color to the story and the voice of the narrator give it a very different cast from the original fairy tale, which is awesome. I did notice a few times where you were trying to elicit laughs, and to me, those passages fell flat. The main one is the dialogue from the narrator at the end. I see how it's funny about a goat telling him the story, and then Bert being made up, but they really fell flat to me, and I don't know why. Overall, this story was very well executed, and was a great, funny read! Thanks @WritingAubergine

Because when time stopped flying, the world would be plagued by millions of falling clocks, some (like Big Ben) weighing hundreds of tons (not sure on the actual weight). This is the reasoning behind preventing time from flying.

This is my first time submitting, and I'm also a very new writer, so hopefully, I formatted everything correctly. There's not any more violence than an average epic fantasy, and it's nothing graphic, but it's in there, so I just thought I'd flag that. Let me know what you think. The main thing I'm looking for in this first draft is what promises I'm making for the rest of the story.

Does anyone have a good, high res Oathbringer cover picture? Just wondering if there's one out there I can use as a laptop wallpaper.

Oh, my Storming cow! This is absolutely amazing, and I love it! Although I am slightly @Confused! Great job, and I'll have to dig into this deeper because it's a lot to process.

Don't accept cookies as they tend to be baked with a Hemalurgic process (you'll figure that out after Mistborn, don't eat them for now though) Happy reading, welcome to the Shard, and have an upvote!

Secret History, while not directly related to SA, has some great insights into the Cosmere in general and would probably worth a pre-OB read.

Hey everyone! Here's how this works, someone puts a trivia question (from any book series, or general Brandon trivia) into the thread (make sure to tag spoilers) The next person answers that question, and puts up a new question. Let me start us off: What is Shallan Davar's last name?

Let me get this back on track: Mistborn Series Stormlight Archive Elantris Warbreaker Wax and Wayne Steelheart Alcatraz Hope you like these!

Hey, @aonati Welcome to the 17th Shard and the world of the Cosmere. You just dove face-first into a world of awesomeness. Unfortunately, I don't have a cool Aon in my name, but that's okay. Also, before I go, don't accept any baked goods, they tend to be baked through a Hemalurgic process (you'll understand when you read Mistborn, for now, don't eat them.) One last thing, have an upvote!

There are so many great plot-twist in the Cosmere, but here are my top three: Mistborn: The Final Empire The Hero of Ages Elantris

Welcome @Dani da Mano, you won't be disappointed by the Wax and Wayne Mistborn books, except for when you have to finish the current three and wait for the last one. You just dove headfirst into a world of awesomeness, and I hope you enjoy it. Also, avoid any baked goods around here, unless you like sharp metals stuck into your insides if you know what I mean. Anyway, have you read any of Brandon's other books? One last thing, have an upvote!