Hemalurgic Headshot

The vending machine starts glowing, but nothing comes out. *inserts virus*

Join LG31, we need more players!

Okay, compromise: I answer Drake's wish, and the next person answers my wish. Granted, the perpendicularity is now in Antarctica, and Hoid has given all of the penguins spikes granting sapience. Now there is a magical penguin army threatening to destroy the world. To repeat my wish, I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

Granted... if Wyndle agrees. Getting him to agree to stay a Shardfork is your bane. And you can only talk like Yoda. I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

I'm just going to say that the General Discussion turns me into such a lurker. I'm not sure whether to be ashamed.

You get a burned cake! *inserts Spanish dictionary*

Nice save, Slowswift. The Queen.

(Had to look those up) You get fancy scissors! *Inserts rainbow.*

Wayne. He isn't that insane, and he's funny too. It would be too hard to get answers out of Lift if she didn't want to answer. Would you rather have to write a 600-page essay in Vorin glyphs or write the correct rules of Tarachin using only what Lightsong tells you backwards?

You get Stung. Inserts the Sting by which aeromancer was Stung.

Welcome to the Shard! And don't listen to them. The Cookies will Ruin you! And why are so many people supporting the Dark Alley nowadays? Where are the good old Defenders of Diets?

Welcome to the Shard! But don't eat the cookies, they are high in sOdium, and they will Ruin you!

Who said I would be snuffing pink pollen? And do you mean the other people's fantasy of themselves, or your fantasy of them?

You get a United States of Brazil port! Inserts Brandon Sanderson Vending Machine.

Pickup trucks

Granted. The Nightwatcher gives you a piece of notebook paper with the words "ten wishes" scribbled on it. The paper then jumps down your throat and gives you diabetes. The Nightwatcher doesn't play games. I wish for a grove of trees whose pollen gives magical powers to those who breathe it. The pollen is pink and smells like lemons.

Welcome to the Shard! Was that supposed to be a ketek? And don't eat the cookies.

I just had a strangish dream. There was some sort of honor band event, and I auditioned for flute, and somehow got it. So now I'm in the middle of a gymnasium, holding half a flute, with no idea what to do with it. I don't play flute, but for some reason, I thought I could. Now, all of the flute cases and whatnot are all at a station. The station right beside me is the bassoon station. I stare at it enviously. Then, right before the concert, I switch to a bassoon I snatched from the bassoon station, and walk up on stage with it. The other bassoonist looks at me funny, like, you're not supposed to be here. I smile, because I'm the best bassoonist ever, and why would I not play bassoon? But then the alternate bassoonist comes out of nowhere, and tells me to get out of his seat. So then I have to leave, so I disguise the bassoon as a prop ( because this is also a musical?), and I hide under a curtain. When someone asks, I tell them that I made it myself, so I have to have it. The director doesn't care, so he tells me to leave it onstage, but don't go waving it around. So I hide until the show is over. Afterwards, I emerge, and my baby brother wants to join the band. "I want to play the oboe!" He says over and over again. But the band director says he has too many double reeds, so he tells my brother to play trumpet. "I want to play oboe, not dragon!" This makes him very upset, so he runs into the bathroom behind the stage. It is the most disgusting bathroom I've ever seen. So my brother runs off, while crying his mantra, and jumps in a toilet. I have to fish him out and carry him the car outside, all the while he cries "I want to play oboe!"

Granted. But your perception of what emotions are is distorted, and you often create very awkward situations, like by making someone feeling psychotic at a funeral. I wish for a pencil that has multiple multi use tips. A "Swiss army pencil", if you will.

Neutron

The pleasant melody wafted over the ballroom filled with dancing nobles. Some sat a tables, sipping wine and chatting about things that they thought were important. Diego didn't care. He simply strummed the strings of his guitar, their low sound coming out mellow and sweet. To either side, Pablo and Juan sang a calm duet, their voices in harmony. Diego didn't sing; his voice was like a pane of glass dragged over gravel. However, as Juan often said, his guitar could woo any woman. Diego smiled to himself. Not that he intended to marry, the band was his life, and that was all he needed. Pablo smiled over to Juan as they sang in their language. The nobles couldn't understand Spanish, but what they don't know, they don't know. "Friend, how will we deal with peppers? The price is getting too high," he sang. Juan kept the tune. "Nah, I know a man. Sells great peppers, straight from his garden." "A garden? Is he noble?" "No, but his peppers are still excellent. I will introduce him to you sometime." Pablo nodded, and lapsed into the chorus, brightly strumming his guitar with Juan. The nobles thought them intriguing, this is why they got paid to perform. Their ethnicity didn't match skaa or noble, so good life! Salsa and wine. Pablo eyed a waiter. He didn't notice, but Pablo memorized his outfit. That one, he thought, will give me some wine, but after this song. Juan still hadn't told him about the avocados.

Winter is Coming didn't put Brandon on, because they knew that no one would be able to see the lines representing the other authors at the mere bottom of the graph.

I see Professor Blushweaver is no longer teaching. Perhaps she got banned for dress code violations?

Welcome to the Shard! Don't eat the cookies that are offered. When in doubt, use a metal detector. And for cool topics and places to post them, check out the Cosmere Theories thread and such.

What is the deal with technology? Why does it have to be different from everything else, with its fancy "n". It should just be techology.