Sarcasm

Mine would be Abraham, because of his philosophy, and his idealism. 

What about Shai, from the Emporer's Soul? She is my favorite character of all time. She's INCREDIBLY clever, and her ability to anticipate and discern is amazing. Her perception on morals is really interesting, and I love how different she is, and her perceptions are.

That's what seems to be implied by having every Epic so far have a weakness tied in some way to some past trauma.

Well, what if Epics were chosen after a traumatic event, kind of like (minor Mistborn spoiler)

Could it be possible that all the people chosen to be Epics were people with traumatic pasts?

Well, first, David is able to see Calamity from earth like it's up close, seemingly like a something with maybe fiery wings. But, if Calamity can show itself, it might also be able to hide itself.

Or it doesn't have actual human form, and changes it as needed.

 

And also Calamity is either some unique Awakener epic, whose power is to create powers that he doesn't have; or he's a Gifter epic, and has all those powers that he gives to people. Maybe even more powerful. Including Megan's reality warper powers. Also, it apparently doesn't need food|water|air. So, maybe it's a reality warper who makes alternative versions of people, only with thematical superpowers (what with "take this power, it's yours"). Or alternative versions of himself, with any superpower possible. Maybe Megan can reason with it.

 

Maybe Calamity originally was some kind of a comet, or a portal. So, people tried to watch it, investigate, wait for any changes. And when they tried to look at it, it didn't have any discernible shape. So, after waiting and observing, they decided to send someone on a ship to take a closer look, and that person got near and activated calamity's powers. So, he became the first epic, and that moment calamity activated and started giving people agressive superpowers, and the ensuing chaos made it impossible for people to know about that theoretical Nasa astronaut.

 

Or maybe Calamity's the Phoenix force. Or a time-travelling Epic from the future. Or time-travelling Epic David from the future.

Hmmm... Cliche 

Venture, Hasting, Elarial, Tekiel, Lekal, Erikeller. Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Without looking it up, name 10 aons, and their definitions, or effects when drawn. 

Bonus if: 

I wonder what the typical Sanderson fan is in terms of age, sex, education and wealth. Personally, I know most of my working peers do not read much fiction let alone fantasy.

From what I observe, it seems like the average Sanderfan is male, around college age or older, with degrees usually in computer sciences or mechanical engineering. Note that these are just observations, so please don't take any offense at this. 

People just call me by my last name.

Which has some interesting derivatives.

7th grade was gross.

[Edit]

Dear lord, please don't let my friends see that post.

... My last name has made me the end of countless jokes, especially in roll call. It's Yu. Nope, not You, but Yu. In Chinese, "Yu" is also "Fish", therefore earning me the nickname... "Fishy Hello Kitty"...   

Pffttt my name is so boring though. You can't make any nicknames. None.

However, you don't have to deal with...interesting derivatives of your name. My friends have dubbed me "Hello Kitty" from "Katherine" in order to annoy me.  

Katherine. Hence my "kappa" profile picture. It's derived from the word for pure in Greek. Why not? "I'm pure. I'm a child and stuff. I'm so storming pure I practically belch rainbows."-Lift 

And I though I was prodigious...

 

All right. Now that we know Calamity is an Epic, presumably some all-powerful gifter whose powers don't wear off after a time, we now need to determine his (her?) identity. (Pretty sure it's a he, but I could be wrong.) 

 

To do this, I am going to throw out every single guess I have and I encourage you good people to do likewise.

 

 

• Calamity is a NASA astronaut. 
• Calamity is a NASA scientist. 
• Calamity is a science experiment gone wrong, a la many, many comic books. 
• Calamity is a science experiment gone right. 
• Calamity is a serial killer. 
• Calamity is a former member of Obliteration's church. 
• Calamity is a former fan of Regalia's. 
• Calamity is a member of a university bursar's office (which would explain his MO—preying on peoples' worst fears as he claims to give them the key to their future, only to exact a terrible, unthinkable price that isn't even written in the fine print). 
• Calamity is Santa Claus. 
• Calamity is an actual cannibal.
• Calamity is Michael Phelps. 
• Calamity is your least favorite politician. 
• Calamity is every politician. 
• Calamity is you. 

 

Calamity is a stick.

Epic Profile: Stick

Primary Ability: Is a stick.

Secondary ability: Is a stick.

Weakness: Is a stick.

Back story...Is a stick.

It is adorable, after the fact, not while it is happening.

Children are most definitely not saints. They are a surge of chaos that takes control of the house and no amount of cleaning will ever really match the mess they will create.

I'm pure. I'm a child and stuff, I'm so storming pure I practically belch rainbows."

-Lift    

I am probably the youngest person here. If anyone wants to challenge that step foward.

Despite being in sixth grade, I know 5 languages ( spoken fluently), and am taking math classes with smart seniors in high school. Middle school sucks.

Wow...I'm close, but not as young as you. I'm in seventh grade and I'm turning 13 in exactly an hour and 30 minutes. I can also speak five languages: Aleithi, Aonic, Sanderson profanity, sarcasm, and Mandarin. Oh, and the occasional English. So six languages. Fluent in all of them   And that's impressive-what math courses are you currently taking?

I had,(well, have) no idea how to pronounce the names of half the cosmere characters.

I'm not, I'm pretty sure I'm youngest.

Middle schooler here. '

Hmmm... I'm in seventh grade... can you get younger?

It's been raining all day, and it doesn't even have the decency to be a highstorm. Just smoggy, relentless, grey rain. It cleared up for about 15 minutes at noon, and we played Capture the Flag, where I almost got the flag before slipping in a huge pile of mud and literally submerging myself in a mudpool, right in front of a very specific individual. After that, I had to sit through an exam, caked in dirt, and with less than flattering smelling clothes. 

I'd be a nightmare for the people of Roshar because my eyes change colour on their own from a very pale gray all the way to a dark brown.

 

Eyecolour chart:

http://www.nature.com/nrg/journal/v12/n3/images/nrg2952-f3.jpg

 

I suspect that the far right column would be darkeyes, and the left 2 columns lighteyes.

I suspect the remaining column does not exist on Roshar, as the entire original population all came from the 4th row... which would mean that lighteyed is a sDNA characteristic which is dominant over eyecolor DNA

 

This leads into to some very interesting DNA vs sDNA genetics...

 

Does anyone remember what eyecolor Vin, Kelsier, TLR, or the Elantrians had? Next time I reread those I'm going to watch for mention of eyes... (I didn't include Returned, because they have a variable form/appearance)

That's an interesting question. I;m pretty sure that Vin has dark brown eyes, and I've always imagined Kelsier with green eyes. I think that the Lord Ruler would have lighter brown eyes, but one that would still qualify as a darkeyes. I think that Elantrians keep the same eye color which they had before the Shaod. It's been a while since I've read Mistborn and Elantris, so these are mainly my guesses, and how I've always imagined the characters. As for myself, I am, hands down, darkeyes. In fact, many people often comment that my eyes look black, and you can't distinguish the pupil.

I speak Mandarin, and it is extremely difficult. The order of easiest to hardest is understanding, speaking, reading, and writing is extremely complicated, especially for one with no artistic ability whatsoever, like me. 

It is adorable, after the fact, not while it is happening.

Children are most definitely not saints. They are a surge of chaos that takes control of the house and no amount of cleaning will ever really match the mess they will create.

Hmmm... you were that once 

You hear about people secretly being Brandon Sanderson... but you never imagine it could be someone you know.

 

PSA time: 1 in 4 Americans may actually be Brandon Sanderson in disguise (1 in 3 if you live in Utah). Don't let the Bandersnatch catch you unawares. Create passwords for identifying any of your loved ones in a suspicious situation, resisting the urge to use phrases from Cosmere books. Be sure to create passwords that would be impossible even for a genius level author to guess.

 

Next, perform regular drills with your family and friends on how to react if a Sanderson is spotted in your area. It's safest to remain indoors in such an event, avoiding bookstores at all costs until the author has passed the area. 8 out of 10 victims of Sanderson replacement were fans attending a signing--don't become a statistic!

 

When indoors during a Sanderson alert, resist the urge to read his novels. Reputable sources indicate that Brandon Sanderson is capable of manifesting as an astral projection from any of his written works, including blog posts, articles, and the Alcatraz books.

 

If he appears in your home, do not ask him questions. Questions such as "What are you doing in my house" or "How did you get in here" will prompt him to respond with his infamous RAFO, sealing your fate in an instant. In 9 out of 10 cases Sanderson begins his replacements by RAFOing the victim. Again, don't become a statistic! Remember with the rhyme "Questions abandon to avoid being Brandon!"

 

If you suspect a friend or family member of being Brandon Sanderson or spot the man in your area, contact 17th Shard authorities immediately. Do not attempt to engage Sanderson yourself. This is not a man--this is a demigod who has reached the perfect physical, cognitive, and spiritual ideal of humanity. 10 out of 10 Sanderson-mortal encounters end with the mortal's defeat.

 

By reading this, you have successfully raised your chances of getting through a Sanderson encounter unscathed. Join the legions of Sharders aware of the Sanderson menace, and educate your friends and family of the threat he poses to you and society at large!

Sanderson's Law: All your favorite characters must be brutally murdered or possessed in the most heart-wrenching way possible. If you like the character, he/she's already dead.