Masquerade - These Masks We Wear

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

She breathed in deeply, relaxing into his chest. "Mmm, yes. If I forget the twilight hours, it was quite enjoyable."

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"I- don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I need to talk about those 'twilight hours.'"

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"Go on," she prompted.

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"I cost you your magical evening, your position as Raveness, and I led to your mockery and subsequent imprisonment." He looked away from her, "all because I couldn't keep my blazing temper."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"That's.... all true." Riva took another sip, almost hiding behind her glass. She couldn't meet his eyes.

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"Then I tossed you into the mud, and I slapped you." He turned away from her, refusing to meet her eyes. "You should hate me. While I could apologize, nothing, not even vintage Vinoese could make up for that. You claim to love me, but how can you after all of that?"

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"I've never had anyone else," she whispered. "I wasn't about to give up what we had. And... I'm glad I didn't. Because clearly you didn't mean what you did that night. It was a stupid mistakes, yes, but... It wasn't you. You care about me. And because of that, I owe you everything." Riva sighed. "Do you understand how nice it is to finally have someone? I've been stuck in the dungeon, alone, for eight decades."

Edited August 14, 2021 by Zephrun's Imperium

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"I can't ask you to forgive me, though." Caden took a small sip from the glass, "just, please don't mention her again."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"Why not?" Riva asked with a furrowed brow. "You're clearly hurting. I may not be a therapist, but I understand emotions well and you can't keep going on like this. Caden, she's been dead for almost thirty years."

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"Let's not talk about this, please."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Suddenly it clicked for Riva. He'd been scared of loving her just a week ago. Scared because... "You blame yourself for her death. That's why you won't retire, you're trying to prove something. That's why you love me every day like you'll never see me again. Oh, my darling."

Edited August 14, 2021 by Zephrun's Imperium

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"It- It wasn't my fault!" Caden lied, "I couldn't do anything . . . Burn it all!" He stood up, "it wasn't my fault!"

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Riva tensed. "Shhhhhhhh. It's alright." She held her hands out. "Come now, sit down. You're alright. I know it wasn't your fault, no matter how much you might blame yourself. I know."

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"It wasn't," Caden protested to the room. "I did . . ." He took a breath, trying to fight the surge of emotion that caused a burning in his eyes. "I did all that I could," he mumbled as he sank back onto the sofa.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"I know you did." She put her hands on his shoulders and began to rub them. "It's alright, okay? You can let it out now. I'm not going to judge you. I'm sure your father would have suppressed all the mourning you should have done... Deep breaths, alright?" She slowed her breathing to unconsciously encourage him to do the same.

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

Caden followed in his wife's example, calming down until a single tear crept its way down his cheek. "I should have been faster . . . I should have been there . . ."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Riva shook her head. "You said you gave it all you had, right?"

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"Of course," Caden whispered. "But I should have been more."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"You did your best, that's all you could have done. Acalia would have been proud of you. And I'm sure if she saw you now, she'd hate to see you suffering like this. Living in her memory is killing you, my dear. You need to let go."

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

"Tell that to the young man who was too late to even catch her last moments, her last breath." Caden demanded, "tell that to the man-" He clenched his fists, trying to fight away the tears that threatened to flow when he considered the moment again. "Tell that to the man who would have traded his life to feel her warmth, her loving embrace one last time."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Riva hugged him tightly. "You have me. Maybe that's the Stars' way of giving you the closure you deserve." She wasn't a religious person, not by a long shot, but Acalia had been. Maybe referencing the gods would help him.

Edited August 14, 2021 by Zephrun's Imperium

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

Caden gasped at her intensity, unable to bring his own arms to embrace her back. "I don't deserve this. I let her down, and I'll only let you down, too."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"And you think I deserve your love? I've hurt thousands of people. Ripped families apart. Drank in screams and blood. Done horrific, unimaginable things. If anyone doesn't deserve this relationship, it's me." She laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes. "You can protest all you want. Say I'm worth it because I love you even when I shouldn't. But just remember. You loved the unlovable first."

[The Ward's Guard he/him]

Caden sighed deeply, ignoring the tears that streamed down his face while slowly lifting his arms to hold Riva close. "I wish it was as simple as deciding . . ."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

"I won't lie, it'll take a while to heal. But I'll be here with you. Always." Riva pressed her mouth into his to kiss him deeply.