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Socially Awkward Bookworms


Tesh

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I put this thing I wrote on our Discord server, but it was requested to also put it on the Shard. I wasn't sure where to put it, so I'm just gonna post it here for the other socially awkward bookworms who have either not seen it or don't use Discord.

Also, without context this might be even more hilarious. (You're welcome, @AonDii)

Spoiler

Rysn sat with her back against the halted wagon, humming softly to herself as Vstim ordered around the other men in their caravan. After their day trading in the strange land of Shinovar, most of the men were tired. And they were also more than a little annoyed at Rysn, who had spent the past few hours complaining about the foreign dirt that somehow kept finding its way onto her clothes. Her outfit was of a Thaylen variety, and dirt was definitely not something that belonged on them.

It’s not just dirt, she corrected herself begrudgingly. It’s soil. For the plants. Storms... Shinovar is stranger than I thought it would be. 

But it wasn’t just the plants’ dependency on soil that was odd. The plants themselves were storming bizarre, and that, unfortunately, meant one thing. Her babsk had seen her reaction to the grass and decided it was a good idea to force Rysn to carry around a pot of the stuff.

She studied the pot intently, so focused that she did not even bother to push back the long eyebrows that had fallen away from their place tucked behind her ears. Why doesn’t it retract? she wondered, chewing on her lip in concentration. The blades of green just… sat there. In dirt. Doing absolutely nothing at all. So strange, she thought again, her sigh accompanied with a shake of her head. 

For a moment, her eyes flickered away from the pot of grass and to the fabrial the men were setting up a minute’s walk away from her. Vstim’s men were attempting to operate the alerter fabrial that they’d bought, and Rysn forced herself to her feet at the sight of it. She stretched before walking over to help with the fabrial, leaving her pot of grass completely unattended and completely unwatched. 

❖❖❖

Tesh loved grass. She also enjoyed dirt, but it could not compare to the deliciousness of grass. Plants, to her, were the equivalent of a gourmet dinner. They were the finest meal anyone could find on Roshar, and the chulls seemed to agree with her. And everyone knew that chulls were very smart. Her friend, Stick, did not agree that grass and dirt could even be considered a type of food. But the chulls agreed, and their opinions were the only ones that mattered, for they were the smartest animals in the entire cosmere.

All hail the crab cows, Tesh thought, nodding to herself in agreement. She had often wished to be a crab cow. Life would be so much simpler without the social situations of daily life; it would be so much better if she could sit in a field and stuff her face with grass. But, alas, that was exactly why she had followed this specific caravan. They had something she desperately wanted to eat: The One Pot of Grass to rule them all. 

Tesh’s heart raced, and beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. It was true that there was grass all over Shinovar, but the pot of it that the weird Thaylen lady had was exceptionally special. Actually, it wasn’t special. It’s just that someone else had it and had taken the time to nurture it, so it must be extra tasty. 

Doing her best to avoid the fabrial that was being set up in the corner, Tesh approached, creeping along the ground as her eyes were set on the treasure ahead of her. She tried to appear as extra sneaky and stealthy, but instead she kind of looked like an extra-drunk person. She had almost made it to her destination when the fabrial pulsed dramatically. Tesh gasped, horrified. I need that grass! she thought, desperation claiming her thoughts. The people in the caravan noticed the fabrial and let out shocked shouts, conversing rapidly among themselves.

Rysn!” an old Thaylen man said, his voice loud and concerned. “There is a thief! Here to steal your grass!”

“Yes, babsk!” the young woman responded, although she didn’t really sound that enthusiastic. But when she turned around, she pursued Tesh with a fierce intensity on her face that made it appear as if she could talk to one of the Sleepless without being intimidated. But that was insane. Why am I thinking about the Sleepless? Tesh thought as she frantically ran away, absolutely miserable because she had not gotten to eat the coveted grass she had been seeking. 

She ran for a few minutes before stopping and gasping for air. The caravan was far enough away now that she probably wasn’t in any immediate danger. She hoped. All I wanted was that storming grass, her mind repeated over and over again. Sighing, her dreams crushed, she looked around her and saw that she was still surrounded by grass.

Trying her best to push aside her disappointment, she dug her hands into the soil and pulled out a few pieces of grass. I guess this will have to do, she thought. And then she stuffed it into her mouth, letting the flavors of Shinovar wash over her tongue. 

 

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10 hours ago, Flying said:

I put this thing I wrote on our Discord server, but it was requested to also put it on the Shard. I wasn't sure where to put it, so I'm just gonna post it here for the other socially awkward bookworms who have either not seen it or don't use Discord.

Also, without context this might be even more hilarious. (You're welcome, @AonDii)

  Reveal hidden contents

Rysn sat with her back against the halted wagon, humming softly to herself as Vstim ordered around the other men in their caravan. After their day trading in the strange land of Shinovar, most of the men were tired. And they were also more than a little annoyed at Rysn, who had spent the past few hours complaining about the foreign dirt that somehow kept finding its way onto her clothes. Her outfit was of a Thaylen variety, and dirt was definitely not something that belonged on them.

It’s not just dirt, she corrected herself begrudgingly. It’s soil. For the plants. Storms... Shinovar is stranger than I thought it would be. 

But it wasn’t just the plants’ dependency on soil that was odd. The plants themselves were storming bizarre, and that, unfortunately, meant one thing. Her babsk had seen her reaction to the grass and decided it was a good idea to force Rysn to carry around a pot of the stuff.

She studied the pot intently, so focused that she did not even bother to push back the long eyebrows that had fallen away from their place tucked behind her ears. Why doesn’t it retract? she wondered, chewing on her lip in concentration. The blades of green just… sat there. In dirt. Doing absolutely nothing at all. So strange, she thought again, her sigh accompanied with a shake of her head. 

For a moment, her eyes flickered away from the pot of grass and to the fabrial the men were setting up a minute’s walk away from her. Vstim’s men were attempting to operate the alerter fabrial that they’d bought, and Rysn forced herself to her feet at the sight of it. She stretched before walking over to help with the fabrial, leaving her pot of grass completely unattended and completely unwatched. 

❖❖❖

Tesh loved grass. She also enjoyed dirt, but it could not compare to the deliciousness of grass. Plants, to her, were the equivalent of a gourmet dinner. They were the finest meal anyone could find on Roshar, and the chulls seemed to agree with her. And everyone knew that chulls were very smart. Her friend, Stick, did not agree that grass and dirt could even be considered a type of food. But the chulls agreed, and their opinions were the only ones that mattered, for they were the smartest animals in the entire cosmere.

All hail the crab cows, Tesh thought, nodding to herself in agreement. She had often wished to be a crab cow. Life would be so much simpler without the social situations of daily life; it would be so much better if she could sit in a field and stuff her face with grass. But, alas, that was exactly why she had followed this specific caravan. They had something she desperately wanted to eat: The One Pot of Grass to rule them all. 

Tesh’s heart raced, and beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. It was true that there was grass all over Shinovar, but the pot of it that the weird Thaylen lady had was exceptionally special. Actually, it wasn’t special. It’s just that someone else had it and had taken the time to nurture it, so it must be extra tasty. 

Doing her best to avoid the fabrial that was being set up in the corner, Tesh approached, creeping along the ground as her eyes were set on the treasure ahead of her. She tried to appear as extra sneaky and stealthy, but instead she kind of looked like an extra-drunk person. She had almost made it to her destination when the fabrial pulsed dramatically. Tesh gasped, horrified. I need that grass! she thought, desperation claiming her thoughts. The people in the caravan noticed the fabrial and let out shocked shouts, conversing rapidly among themselves.

Rysn!” an old Thaylen man said, his voice loud and concerned. “There is a thief! Here to steal your grass!”

“Yes, babsk!” the young woman responded, although she didn’t really sound that enthusiastic. But when she turned around, she pursued Tesh with a fierce intensity on her face that made it appear as if she could talk to one of the Sleepless without being intimidated. But that was insane. Why am I thinking about the Sleepless? Tesh thought as she frantically ran away, absolutely miserable because she had not gotten to eat the coveted grass she had been seeking. 

She ran for a few minutes before stopping and gasping for air. The caravan was far enough away now that she probably wasn’t in any immediate danger. She hoped. All I wanted was that storming grass, her mind repeated over and over again. Sighing, her dreams crushed, she looked around her and saw that she was still surrounded by grass.

Trying her best to push aside her disappointment, she dug her hands into the soil and pulled out a few pieces of grass. I guess this will have to do, she thought. And then she stuffed it into her mouth, letting the flavors of Shinovar wash over her tongue. 

 

Could I be graced with the context for this beautiful fanfic?

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21 minutes ago, Random Bystander said:

Um, hi. Can I join this? I am both socially awkward and a bookworm.

Yes, you can join. Based on your description of yourself, you fit this thread perfectly :D

19 minutes ago, Shard of Reading said:

Could I be graced with the context for this beautiful fanfic?

We were talking about weird things we'd eaten, and Tesh mentioned the one time her cousin convinced her to eat grass. Then I thought about Rysn's pot of grass... and it led to me writing this. 

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58 minutes ago, Random Bystander said:

Um, hi. Can I join this? I am both socially awkward and a bookworm.

Hi! Welcome to... What do I even refer to this as?

Didn't we decide it was a cult at one point?

Well, welcome to whatever this is!

If you want to join the Discord, the invite to the server is in my signature.

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49 minutes ago, Cosmical Existence said:

Yes, I think we did. Complete with robes and candles for the initiation. Though we've kind of been slack with that part. 

Yeah, because you dressed up as Voidbringers and started using the candles to torture me!

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2 hours ago, Random Bystander said:

Oh, well then. That's........... interesting.

Not actually... His username is a reference to the herald Taln, and so he's pretending that we torture him... 

2 hours ago, Cosmical Existence said:

I wouldn't suggest it... being socially awkward makes us unaware of certain... social ethics... :ph34r:

True... 

Society is very complicated.

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