Metaphors 2! David's or your own!

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

Here, you can share your favorite David metaphors, as well as any bad metaphors you can think of yourself!

For instance, "I'm worse at metaphors than an Epic-killing teenage boy." 

Spoiler

No, like...I really am. That's...not even a metaphor.

 

[Channelknight Fadran]

That last thread was more dead than two walruses enjoying tea laced with arsenic.

[Experience he/him]

You're like a potato in a minefield. 

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

Just now, Experience said:

You're like a potato in a minefield. 

I really like that one, too! As evidenced by the rank under my name. 

The sunrise one is also super adorable. "My Megan is a sunrise, always changing, but beautiful the entire time." 

 

[AonEne he/him]

I'm as happy to see this thread as a puppy on Dr. Pepper playing golf!

[Mat he/him]

It's hard to think of bad metaphors. It's about equal to balancing multiple peanuts on your nose, while singing the star-spangled banner.

[Kings_way he/they]

Like a lazer through a pile of sheep.

[Hoid the Former Drifter he/him]

this is as fun as working out on steroids

(i don't do that; that's stupid as a flip phone)

(which i have)

Edited October 1, 2020 by Hoid the Drifter

[Hoid the Former Drifter he/him]

On 9/14/2020 at 4:49 PM, DramaQueen said:

The sunrise one is also super adorable. "My Megan is a sunrise, always changing, but beautiful the entire time." 

 

his only good one. All the rest were as bad as an orchestra playing the chainsaws

[Turtle they/them]

reading this thread is like a paperclip in jar of rocks. Cuz, see, you have a jar of rocks, and you bought the jar of rocks, but rocks arn't actually useful. So when you go looking for rocks and you find a paperclip, you're all exited you get a paperclip!

[Hoid the Former Drifter he/him]

dead as a teenager after pulling 2 back to back all nighters. See, because the teenager will sleep so deep it'll look like the teenager is dead

Edited October 8, 2020 by Hoid the Drifter

[Ramona Tehradin she/her]

The plan sucks. It's like you're making green ducks wear heels to do ballet. 

[Ladylunalight]

My personal favorite: "The robots... acted like a bunch of youthful dreams and got thoroughly crushed." One of the few that actually make sense lol.

 

[MGershone]

My personal favorite is the metaphor about a piece of bread at a rock party.

"Piece of bread. At a rock party. You know, because nobody wants bread at a rock party. They're there to see the cool rocks."

[sentinel]

"unload bullets faster than a pair of drunk hicks visiting a varmint factory"

[TheKittyOfAtlantis]

 

Edited February 8, 2021 by TheKittyOfAtlantis

[Flyingbooks]

One that I came up with: "Like green in a sunset"

For something that should logically exist but that people typically don't notice. Sunsets go from red/orange at the horizon to blue at the top of the sky, so there should logically be some greenish color in there at some point, but most people don't thing of sunsets as having green in them.

[Bejarden he/him]

“Your like febresze in a pig pen”

Not suppose to be there but gratefully appreciated 

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

I shall summon Agent Obfusco