Certified Gay Disasters

[Hmmm lies she/her]

3 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

Wit is 100% pan

 

Also here's a weird one
Speaking of 1984
O'Brien
He's gay

agreed on first, I see it for second

 

3 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

I'm not sure who that is

*Tries to resist urge to infodump*

*Fails*

Spoiler

The Metroid series is a series of video games by Nintendo that focus on the protagonist, Samus Aran. These games ended up codifying the 'Metroidvania' genre of video game, where there is a large environment to explore, and new abilities you can collect. Obtaining these abilities will typically allow you to explore new places, and find more things that will allow you to strengthen yourself.

Metroid for the NES was the first Metroid game, however Super Metroid for the SNES is considered to be far superior, and some consider it to be the best Metroid game, even compared to modern games.

The titular Metroids are alien parasites that can absorb energy, and plots of the games often involve stopping a group (usually the Space Pirates) from using them as bioweapons. They also look like flying jellyfish with fangs. 

A now well-known twist of the original Metroid was that the protagonist was a woman, as such a thing was unconventional at the time, especially for a badass person in power armor (oh yeah, Samus has a cool power armor suit with an energy cannon on the arm). This would be revealed to the player only if they managed to beat the game fast enough. Most promotional material used he/him pronouns for her, because the creators of the material literally did not know about this twist. Later games, however, do not hide Samus' gender.

And that's pretty much the basics, I've got way more if you want it.

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

6 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

agreed on first, I see it for second

 

*Tries to resist urge to infodump*

*Fails*

  Hide contents

The Metroid series is a series of video games by Nintendo that focus on the protagonist, Samus Aran. These games ended up codifying the 'Metroidvania' genre of video game, where there is a large environment to explore, and new abilities you can collect. Obtaining these abilities will typically allow you to explore new places, and find more things that will allow you to strengthen yourself.

Metroid for the NES was the first Metroid game, however Super Metroid for the SNES is considered to be far superior, and some consider it to be the best Metroid game, even compared to modern games.

The titular Metroids are alien parasites that can absorb energy, and plots of the games often involve stopping a group (usually the Space Pirates) from using them as bioweapons. They also look like flying jellyfish with fangs. 

A now well-known twist of the original Metroid was that the protagonist was a woman, as such a thing was unconventional at the time, especially for a badass person in power armor (oh yeah, Samus has a cool power armor suit with an energy cannon on the arm). This would be revealed to the player only if they managed to beat the game fast enough. Most promotional material used he/him pronouns for her, because the creators of the material literally did not know about this twist. Later games, however, do not hide Samus' gender.

And that's pretty much the basics, I've got way more if you want it.

Oh ok gotcha
Yeah sure
Tell us the lore

Edited October 29, 2025 by SpartanBrigade

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I headcanon Hoid as trans. He just kind of gives that vibe. To me at least. 

[momadrac they/them]

42 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

I headcanon Hoid as trans. He just kind of gives that vibe. To me at least. 

Hoid gives me pan/genderfluid vibes idk

[Hmmm lies she/her]

45 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

Oh ok gotcha
Yeah sure
Tell us the lore

Oh you foolish brigade from Sparta

Spoiler

So, a significant amount of the backstory originates from a manga that is semi-canon (Some stuff is contradicted by the games, but other stuff was later affirmed by the games)

 

Anyway, you see, there's this alien species called the Chozo, who are like humanoid bird people. They are all very technologically advanced. They'll be important later.

There's also the Space Pirates. They're the bad guys, if the name didn't tip you off. They have bases all over different planets. They have a few leaders, the most notable are Mother Brain, and Ridley. Mother Brain was an organic supercomputer made by the Chozo, who later turned evil. Ridley is this big space dragon guy, and he's the absolute storming worst. He's very sadistic and personally led to both of a certain 3-year old human girl's death. This human: Samus Aran.

Samus would later be adopted by the Chozo, who would train her to be a warrior, injected her with some Chozo DNA to make her stronger, and gave her one of their power suits (her iconic power armor she wears). She would end up becoming a bounty hunter who primarily works for the Galactic Federation (basically the space government). The Chozo would also slowly go (almost) extinct around this time)

(Events of Metroid and its remake, Metroid Zero Mission start here) Her first mission would be to go to planet Zebes, a Space Pirate base, and assassinate Mother Brain, as well as to destroy the Metroids that they had in captivity. To kill these Metroids, she'd need the Ice Beam (one of the many recurring upgrades in these games), as Metroids are only vulnerable when cold. She finds it, along with many other upgrades to her suit left on the planet by the Chozo. She'd succeed on her task, killing Ridley along the way as well.

(Exclusive to the remake) However, her ship would be shot down while making her escape, and her suit was destroyed. After this is a stealth section, the only time in a mainline game where you play as Samus without a power suit, or 'Zero Suit Samus.' Eventually, however, Samus finds a new suit, that has bigger shoulders. (That's right, the entire reason this part of the game exists is to explain why Samus's design is slightly different in the first game than later games)

 

(Events of Metroid Prime start here)

The Space Pirates would flee to a nearby planet, Tallon IV, which the Chozo previously inhabited. They bring some Metroids with them, as well as the remains of Ridley, who they have revived into the form of a cyborg. There, they find an unusual substance, which had fallen to the planet in a meteor long ago. This substance is known as Phazon, and is extremely radioactive, as well as corruptive. They hope to use it to strengthen their armies, as well as their Metroid bioweapons. However, the majority of it is sealed away underground, having been sealed by the Chozo for the safety of the planet. Samus chases the Space Pirates there, and unseals the Phazon, preparing to destroy it. There, a single Metroid rests, that is seemingly the source of all of the Phazon on the planet. (It's unclear if the Metroid absorbed the Phazon already in the meteor after it crashed, or if the Metroid was on the meteor that brought all the Phazon). Samus (who has already absorbed some Phazon into her suit to give herself an immunity to it) fights this Metroid, called the Metroid Prime. (Get it? Cause that's the name of the game) She defeats it, but it absorbs the Phazon out of her suit, and Samus leaves the planet. However, if you got 100% completion, you would see a cutscene where something crawls out of the corpse of the Metroid Prime.

 

(Events of Metroid Prime 2: Echos start here. Note: I haven't actually finished this game)

The Space Pirates relocate to a planet known as Aether, after finding that there is Phazon there. However, they find themselves attacked by Samus... Or so they think. This is Dark Samus, the thing that crawled out of the Metroid Prime's corpse after taking the Phazon from Samus's suit. She is attacking the Space Pirates to steal their Phazon, as she gets stronger after absorbing Phazon. Eventually, the real Samus gets there, and goes to deal with stuff. Unfortunately, the planet is facing it's own non-Phazon crisis. Namely, it was split into two, Light Aether and Dark Aether, which exist in two different dimensions. Light Aether is at risk of being destroyed by Dark Aether. (I don't really know what happens after this, as I'm still playing through the game) But eventually, Samus destroys Dark Aether, and ousts the Space Pirates once more.

 

(Events of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption start here. Note: I know almost nothing about this game)

Samus is infected with Phazon poisoning, however she's strong enough to survive it, and it ends up strengthening her. However, she is at risk of being controlled by Dark Samus as a result. (She's still alive) Samus finds the planet that is the source of all Phazon in the universe, Phaaze. There, she defeats Dark Samus, and destroys the planet, saving the galaxy from the threat of Phazon.

 

(Events of Metroid II start here)

At this point, Metroids have caused so many threats to the galaxy that the Federation has decided it's time to get rid of them. Samus goes to their home planet, SR388 to exterminate the Metroids. She finds, however, that they aren't just little jellyfish, but on their home planet, they can evolve (in the Pokemon sense, not the real evolution sense) into stronger forms, such as Alpha Metroids, Beta Metroids, Gamma Metroids, Zeta Metroids, and the extremely dangerous Omega Metroids. She exterminates them all, and then defeats the Metroid Queen, a stronger Omega Metroid that is the source of all the Metroids. However, while leaving, she finds one last Metroid egg, which hatches in front of her. It immediatly imprints upon her, seemingly believing her to be its mother. Samus initially aims her Arm Cannon at it, but decides to spare it. The Metroid helps her leave the planet, and the Federation take it to a space station to study.

(Events of Super Metroid start here)

However, this was a horrible idea, as Ridley attacks the space station immediately, kills all the researchers, and abducts the baby Metroid to bring to Zebes for cloning. Samus chases him back, however and kills him again. She then kills the cloned Metroids, and continues into the planet. However, she is then attacked by a massive Metroid that clings to her head and starts absorbing her energy. However, before she dies, it stops, recognizing Samus as it's "mother" and leaves. (this was the original abducted Metroid hatchling.) Samus finds that Mother Brain has be recreated (somehow), and fights her again. However, Mother Brain is much stronger this time, and fires a Hyper Beam at Samus, which nearly kills her. She prepares to fire another one, but the Metroid hatchling suddenly appears, and clings onto Mother Brain's head. (Brain?) It then clings onto Samus' head and starts giving Mother Brain's energy to her. However, Mother Brain kills the Metroid. Samus, emboldened with this new energy, uses her newly acquired Hyper Beam on Mother Brain to destroy her. After this, the planet begins to explode (it's never really been made clear why this happens). She escapes, and Metroids seem to be extinct.

 

(Events of Metroid Fusion start here)

So as it turns out, wiping out Metroids was a bad idea. You see, the Chozo's original homeworld was SR388, and Metroids aren't native to that place. They were actually manufactured by the Chozo to be a predator to a native parasite, the X parasite. The X parasite is even more dangerous than Metroids (Although Metroids are immune to X), capable of consuming someone in an instant, reproducing asexually, and taking on the form of whatever they consume. With the extermination of Metroids, the X parasite runs rampant on SR388, and Samus becomes infected, nearly killing her. However, they give her an injection made from a Metroid cell, which gives her immunity to X. She does a bunch of stuff (It's been a while since I played this game okay?) Which eventually leads to SR388 being destroyed. Also she fights an X parasite duplicate of herself, which is the second evil copy of herself she's had to fight.

 

There's still more games, but I think this is enough.

 

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

12 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Oh you foolish brigade from Sparta

  Hide contents

So, a significant amount of the backstory originates from a manga that is semi-canon (Some stuff is contradicted by the games, but other stuff was later affirmed by the games)

 

Anyway, you see, there's this alien species called the Chozo, who are like humanoid bird people. They are all very technologically advanced. They'll be important later.

There's also the Space Pirates. They're the bad guys, if the name didn't tip you off. They have bases all over different planets. They have a few leaders, the most notable are Mother Brain, and Ridley. Mother Brain was an organic supercomputer made by the Chozo, who later turned evil. Ridley is this big space dragon guy, and he's the absolute storming worst. He's very sadistic and personally led to both of a certain 3-year old human girl's death. This human: Samus Aran.

Samus would later be adopted by the Chozo, who would train her to be a warrior, injected her with some Chozo DNA to make her stronger, and gave her one of their power suits (her iconic power armor she wears). She would end up becoming a bounty hunter who primarily works for the Galactic Federation (basically the space government). The Chozo would also slowly go (almost) extinct around this time)

(Events of Metroid and its remake, Metroid Zero Mission start here) Her first mission would be to go to planet Zebes, a Space Pirate base, and assassinate Mother Brain, as well as to destroy the Metroids that they had in captivity. To kill these Metroids, she'd need the Ice Beam (one of the many recurring upgrades in these games), as Metroids are only vulnerable when cold. She finds it, along with many other upgrades to her suit left on the planet by the Chozo. She'd succeed on her task, killing Ridley along the way as well.

(Exclusive to the remake) However, her ship would be shot down while making her escape, and her suit was destroyed. After this is a stealth section, the only time in a mainline game where you play as Samus without a power suit, or 'Zero Suit Samus.' Eventually, however, Samus finds a new suit, that has bigger shoulders. (That's right, the entire reason this part of the game exists is to explain why Samus's design is slightly different in the first game than later games)

 

(Events of Metroid Prime start here)

The Space Pirates would flee to a nearby planet, Tallon IV, which the Chozo previously inhabited. They bring some Metroids with them, as well as the remains of Ridley, who they have revived into the form of a cyborg. There, they find an unusual substance, which had fallen to the planet in a meteor long ago. This substance is known as Phazon, and is extremely radioactive, as well as corruptive. They hope to use it to strengthen their armies, as well as their Metroid bioweapons. However, the majority of it is sealed away underground, having been sealed by the Chozo for the safety of the planet. Samus chases the Space Pirates there, and unseals the Phazon, preparing to destroy it. There, a single Metroid rests, that is seemingly the source of all of the Phazon on the planet. (It's unclear if the Metroid absorbed the Phazon already in the meteor after it crashed, or if the Metroid was on the meteor that brought all the Phazon). Samus (who has already absorbed some Phazon into her suit to give herself an immunity to it) fights this Metroid, called the Metroid Prime. (Get it? Cause that's the name of the game) She defeats it, but it absorbs the Phazon out of her suit, and Samus leaves the planet. However, if you got 100% completion, you would see a cutscene where something crawls out of the corpse of the Metroid Prime.

 

(Events of Metroid Prime 2: Echos start here. Note: I haven't actually finished this game)

The Space Pirates relocate to a planet known as Aether, after finding that there is Phazon there. However, they find themselves attacked by Samus... Or so they think. This is Dark Samus, the thing that crawled out of the Metroid Prime's corpse after taking the Phazon from Samus's suit. She is attacking the Space Pirates to steal their Phazon, as she gets stronger after absorbing Phazon. Eventually, the real Samus gets there, and goes to deal with stuff. Unfortunately, the planet is facing it's own non-Phazon crisis. Namely, it was split into two, Light Aether and Dark Aether, which exist in two different dimensions. Light Aether is at risk of being destroyed by Dark Aether. (I don't really know what happens after this, as I'm still playing through the game) But eventually, Samus destroys Dark Aether, and ousts the Space Pirates once more.

 

(Events of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption start here. Note: I know almost nothing about this game)

Samus is infected with Phazon poisoning, however she's strong enough to survive it, and it ends up strengthening her. However, she is at risk of being controlled by Dark Samus as a result. (She's still alive) Samus finds the planet that is the source of all Phazon in the universe, Phaaze. There, she defeats Dark Samus, and destroys the planet, saving the galaxy from the threat of Phazon.

 

(Events of Metroid II start here)

At this point, Metroids have caused so many threats to the galaxy that the Federation has decided it's time to get rid of them. Samus goes to their home planet, SR388 to exterminate the Metroids. She finds, however, that they aren't just little jellyfish, but on their home planet, they can evolve (in the Pokemon sense, not the real evolution sense) into stronger forms, such as Alpha Metroids, Beta Metroids, Gamma Metroids, Zeta Metroids, and the extremely dangerous Omega Metroids. She exterminates them all, and then defeats the Metroid Queen, a stronger Omega Metroid that is the source of all the Metroids. However, while leaving, she finds one last Metroid egg, which hatches in front of her. It immediatly imprints upon her, seemingly believing her to be its mother. Samus initially aims her Arm Cannon at it, but decides to spare it. The Metroid helps her leave the planet, and the Federation take it to a space station to study.

(Events of Super Metroid start here)

However, this was a horrible idea, as Ridley attacks the space station immediately, kills all the researchers, and abducts the baby Metroid to bring to Zebes for cloning. Samus chases him back, however and kills him again. She then kills the cloned Metroids, and continues into the planet. However, she is then attacked by a massive Metroid that clings to her head and starts absorbing her energy. However, before she dies, it stops, recognizing Samus as it's "mother" and leaves. (this was the original abducted Metroid hatchling.) Samus finds that Mother Brain has be recreated (somehow), and fights her again. However, Mother Brain is much stronger this time, and fires a Hyper Beam at Samus, which nearly kills her. She prepares to fire another one, but the Metroid hatchling suddenly appears, and clings onto Mother Brain's head. (Brain?) It then clings onto Samus' head and starts giving Mother Brain's energy to her. However, Mother Brain kills the Metroid. Samus, emboldened with this new energy, uses her newly acquired Hyper Beam on Mother Brain to destroy her. After this, the planet begins to explode (it's never really been made clear why this happens). She escapes, and Metroids seem to be extinct.

 

(Events of Metroid Fusion start here)

So as it turns out, wiping out Metroids was a bad idea. You see, the Chozo's original homeworld was SR388, and Metroids aren't native to that place. They were actually manufactured by the Chozo to be a predator to a native parasite, the X parasite. The X parasite is even more dangerous than Metroids (Although Metroids are immune to X), capable of consuming someone in an instant, reproducing asexually, and taking on the form of whatever they consume. With the extermination of Metroids, the X parasite runs rampant on SR388, and Samus becomes infected, nearly killing her. However, they give her an injection made from a Metroid cell, which gives her immunity to X. She does a bunch of stuff (It's been a while since I played this game okay?) Which eventually leads to SR388 being destroyed. Also she fights an X parasite duplicate of herself, which is the second evil copy of herself she's had to fight.

 

There's still more games, but I think this is enough.

 

Ahh ok
 

Spoiler

Why did the Chozo go extinct

 

[Hmmm lies she/her]

23 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

Ahh ok
 

  Hide contents

Why did the Chozo go extinct

 

 

Spoiler

Oh I forgot that part. When they created Metroids, they didn't realize they could evolve into those forms I mentioned. They could control the default Metroids, but not their evolved forms, which took most of them out. There actually still are some living Chozo, but I didn't go over the game that's revealed. Also "still are" might be incorrect, because they all die by the end of that game.

 

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Jeez I feel like there’s no reason to play Metroid now I know the entire storu

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

3 hours ago, SpartanBrigade said:

What but Glass is so straight
That'd be like Mirkir being queer too

Ha

3 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

Hmm yes I can see how that could cause problems.

 

Anyway, here's a fun topic:

Fictional characters you head canon as queer (canon queer characters don't count)

 

• Yumi fromYumi and the Nightmare Painter - Bisexual (Okay technically this isn't canon but I feel like it basically is okay)
• Samus Aran from Metroid - Queer (I honestly don't know how, a lot of people head canon her as trans lesbian, and while I, a trans lesbian, am inclined to agree, I honestly just get general queer vibes from her. She could be aroace or bi for all I know

Kaladin and Adolin—both bi

Shallan and Jasnah too, for that matter

I always thought that Thalia Grace should have been gay, and is at least bi

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

1 minute ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

Ha

Kaladin and Adolin—both bi

Shallan and Jasnah too, for that matter

I always thought that Thalia Grace should have been gay, and is at least bi

The Titan's Curse was published in 2007
Being gay hadn't been invented yet

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

2 minutes ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

Ha

Kaladin and Adolin—both bi

Shallan and Jasnah too, for that matter

I always thought that Thalia Grace should have been gay, and is at least bi

I agree with all these and I am of the belief that vin is possibly like non-binary or genderfluid or somewhere in that area

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

13 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

The Titan's Curse was published in 2007
Being gay hadn't been invented yet

..

12 minutes ago, Honors ghost said:

I agree with all these and I am of the belief that vin is possibly like non-binary or genderfluid or somewhere in that area

True

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 hour ago, Honors ghost said:

Jeez I feel like there’s no reason to play Metroid now I know the entire storu

Ehh it's more for the gameplay than the story anyway

And the Prime games have a lot of details I missed

Also Metroid Prime 4 is coming out this December

[Akimikoisthecutest]

Question, should I audition for the musical this year?

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 minute ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Question, should I audition for the musical this year?

Yes.

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

19 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Ehh it's more for the gameplay than the story anyway

And the Prime games have a lot of details I missed

Also Metroid Prime 4 is coming out this December

Ooo that’s cool maybe I’ll play one of them 

 

4 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Question, should I audition for the musical this year?

yessss which oneee

[Akimikoisthecutest]

3 minutes ago, Honors ghost said:

yessss which oneee

Matilda

Edited October 29, 2025 by Akimikoisthecutest

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

30 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Matilda

Yes

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

54 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Matilda

YES YOU SHOULD I DID IT A FEW YEARS AGO IT WAS SO Fun

Edited October 29, 2025 by Honors ghost

[Akimikoisthecutest]

We are required to pick a character to audition for and idk who to pick.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

58 minutes ago, Honors ghost said:

Ooo that’s cool maybe I’ll play one of them 

Currently the first game is the only one that's purchasable, namely Metroid Prime Remastered for the Nintendo Switch. I played the Wii port, but I hear the remaster is really good

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

4 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

We are required to pick a character to audition for and idk who to pick.

Ooo ummm I was a kid in the school like ensemble but obvi Matilda would be fun the kid who eats the cake would be fun and ofc the fabulous Mrs trunchbull would be awsome.

 

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Currently the first game is the only one that's purchasable, namely Metroid Prime Remastered for the Nintendo Switch. I played the Wii port, but I hear the remaster is really good

Heheh I have a Nintendo so Christmas list here I comee

[Akimikoisthecutest]

1 minute ago, Honors ghost said:

Ooo ummm I was a kid in the school like ensemble but obvi Matilda would be fun the kid who eats the cake would be fun and ofc the fabulous Mrs trunchbull would be awsome.

All of those are people I've been thinking about.

[momadrac they/them]

4 hours ago, SpartanBrigade said:

The Titan's Curse was published in 2007
Being gay hadn't been invented yet

that's crazy and depressing

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

17 minutes ago, momadrac said:

that's crazy and depressing

Indeed
The 2000s were a dark and desolate time
I can’t understand why people have nostalgia for that decade
The clothing looks like it was fished from a dumpster, all the humor in shows was centered around misogyny, the songs were soulless, the movies all had LOADS of skeevy camera shots, and the music videos were even worse than the movies

Edited October 30, 2025 by SpartanBrigade