Certified Gay Disasters

[Koloss17]

So I think I coulda have actually joined the gay disasters perhaps. Experimenting with pronouns. I’m not quite a disaster yet...I think. They/them/your pancakefullness are the pronouns I’m experimenting with.

also would I then not count as hetero cuz I’m not technically fitting into the binary?

Edited August 11, 2020 by Koloss17
A lot of knowledge I want to be dispensed to me

[Koloss17]

18 minutes ago, revelryintheart said:

Well, your pancakefullness, heterosexuality is defined as being soley attracted to the opposite sex. It is within the binary, so I don't think you would count as hetero (someone please correct me if I'm wrong I don't want to give out false information). But don't worry! There are plenty of labels out there. You can find one that fits you.

Well I’m into girls, that I’m sure of. What would be a term for that outside of the binary?

[Koloss17]

Fellow gays and trans peeps, my brother and frankly, me as well, honestly don’t I feel quite grasp some parts of trans and non-binary orientations. 
 

we were wondering, in a perfect world where there is no gender roles within society, would there be transgender or non-binary people exist? I’m actually experimenting with being agender Myself. The thing is, I see it as a way to escape social expectations, all external. So I wouldn’t know if it’s more than that. 
 

sorry if this is really weirdly worded.

[Delightful]

On 09/08/2020 at 5:04 PM, Illwei said:

Hi I'm late but I've been reading through lots of threads recently and saw someone talk about headcannons so I had to chip in that I fully believe/agree that Jasnah is Ace/Aro
and off topic but gay: but I'm a Kadolin shipper please don't shoot me

I see Kadolin. I even maybe see the threesome with Shallan (that has a name, right?). Its gonna be interesting for sure with Adolin and Shallan married now because they both have definite tension with Kaladin. Im excited to see where it goes. 

[---]

3 hours ago, Delightful said:

I see Kadolin. I even maybe see the threesome with Shallan (that has a name, right?). Its gonna be interesting for sure with Adolin and Shallan married now because they both have definite tension with Kaladin. Im excited to see where it goes. 

It indeed does...Shakadolin is what I've seen it as...I definitely don't spend way too much time on the fanfiction side of things

[SingingMosaic]

Yay this exists!

I'm agender and pansexual/panromantic because life already confuses me enough without adding all that extra complication, at least that's why I feel like I am. I've tried to do things related to the gender I was raised as, but it was just as confusing when I voluntarily participated and tried to relate to it as it was when I was being raised that way, so I gave up. The same went for sexuality, I was attracted to who I was attracted to and how they were physically configured had nothing to do with it. The only exception was once I dated someone shorter than me and it was weird, and I thought it was odd that, if my brain hadn't gotten hung up on any other major detail, it would finally get hung up on height of all things.

Sadly won't be able to participate as much as I'd like, unless someone wants to do image descriptions, that would be cool.

[AonEne]

7 hours ago, SingingMosaic said:

Sadly won't be able to participate as much as I'd like, unless someone wants to do image descriptions, that would be cool.

Of all the memes? I’d be happy to if that’s what you’re referring to - sorry for sending in so many images.  

[Emi]

10 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Of all the memes? I’d be happy to if that’s what you’re referring to - sorry for sending in so many images.  

Spoiler

No problem. I’m sure that a lot of us had a lot of time and read all your memes. 

Edit: wait, I did a spoiler box? I didn’t want to.

Edited August 23, 2020 by Emi

[SingingMosaic]

Yay!  Thanks. And no problem, it's just their file names that display to me, so you can tilt a virtual bookcase full of images into the thread and I'll probably be least bothered by it lol.

[AonEne]

Beware, Ene using imperfect grammar awaits you. I hope this works, if I should do more details or need to say something differently for the screen reader to pick it up, yell at me. Also, these aren’t in the same order as last time, just in whatever order I transcribed them in. 

Non-ace people: don’t have sex. Me, an asexual: okay. Non-ace people: wait no, not like that 

Yelling: gay, normal voice: lesbian, muttering: bisexual... confused whispering: transss? Booming voice in the background: STRAIGHT ALLIES. “This sums up representation of LGBT pretty well.” (Other people adding to it below) sign language: pansexual, Morse code beeps: asexual, ancient language of the elder gods: nonbinary, smoke signals: aromantic 

Being straight is like being in Gryffindor: all the main characters are always Gryffindor, there’s tons of merch for it, and no one’s gonna give you crap for being in it. Being gay is like being in Slytherin: everyone has heard of it, but the merch is few and far between so you have to really want it. The only Slytherin characters are secondary and morally gray. Some people think you’re evil. Being bi is like being in Ravenclaw: there’s no merch or major Ravenclaw characters. People definitely try to lump it in with either Gryffindor or Slytherin, and there are a few weird stereotypes. Being ace is like being in Hufflepuff: what the heck is a Hufflepuff? (With a picture of a Christmas elf-looking guy next to it) 

“Man delights not me -“ You break off as Guildenstern interrupts you. “Gayyyyy,” he says. “I said man delights NOT me, idiot,” you say. “Nor womanneither, though you seem to think -“ This time you’re interrupted by Rosencrantz. “Asexualllll,” he says. (All in a picture of a book page) (tumblr users below: “This may be the best book I have ever purchased. It is definitely in the top 10” “whAT BOOK IS THIS” “To be or not to be by Ryan North, Hamlet as a choose your own adventure book.” 

A pixelated heart with the ace flag colors (black, gray, white, purple) in it 

“Reblog if you are asexual, support asexual people, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM” 

A stylized artwork done in ace colors of a person standing in a cliff looking at the view, with lots of long clouds 

Fact: unlike the gay agenda (trademarked), the bisexual agenda contains a 15 minute break for snacks between sessions. Fact: the asexual agenda is entirely made of snacks, with a 15 minute break for all out anarchy. Fact: the pansexuals, with their extreme love for kitchenware, make all the snacks. 

Yesterday I told a guy I was ace/aro and he asked what aro meant, so I told him and he said “oh I thought it might be like a-e-r-o and I was confused.” Yes. I am asexual/aerodynamic. At the slightest hint of sex or romance I launch myself into the air and land several miles away. 

“Can men and women really be just friends??” Straight people are so weird. It is a fact that bisexuals can’t make friends. There is only prey. *raptor noises* 

Me anytime a sex scene takes place in a show or movie: this is literally the most unnecessary thing can we not? Screw this I want swords this is boring 

Two people texting: “I’m gonna wrote a fantasy novel where there’s a love triangle but the girl realizes she’s asexual and gets a puppy and a cat and the two boys fall for each other” “I would read that” “I’d better get to work” “And the two guys realize they were only fighting for the girl because they wanted to impress each other!” 

“I’m asexual” (a picture of a stick figure) “Now begins my mitosis” (the stick figure starts splitting in half from the top, growing two heads in a parody of mitosis) 

My favorite thing is aces trying to explain sexual attraction to other aces because it always ends up like: ace 1: idk what it is do you know what it is? Ace 2: I mean I guess it’s when you really want pizza but? It’s? Someone’s? Body? Ace 1: uuuhhhmmmm ace 2: *vague hand motions* 

An artistically drawn mace (the weapon) with various shades of purple flowers under it and a jewel on its hilt, and the words mace ace 

A green and gray dragon posed in flight over the aromantic flag colors, with the shape of an arrow cut out of it 

A purple and black dragon curled up over the asexual flag colors with a card ace figure cut out of it 

Testosterone is the masculinizing hormone. Estrogen is the feminizing hormone. If you wanna androgynize you gotta inject yourself with pure adrenaline. Can’t assign a gender to incomparable panic. 

ok but consider this: nonbinary superheroes. Are you a man or a woman? I’m a hero. What gender are you? Super. Yeah, but what’s in your pants? Justice. 

A set of pixelated DND dice in ace colors 

A purple-gray dragon holding an ace flag 

Imagine an aroace demigod girl wanting to be one of the Hunters of Artemis. Artemis would give the whole warning about how you have to swear off dating and the girl is just like “oh no what a nightmare” all sarcastically and Artemis smiles like oh this one, I like this one. 

Fun fact: all asexuals, bisexuals, and pansexuals are equipped with an invisibility cloak at birth. This allows for them to give the illusion of nonexistence and, in turn, break into your house and steal your food if you tell them their orientation isn’t real. 

First base, holding hands; second base, ritual sacrifice; third base, joining the Illuminati and becoming the masterminds behind governments and corporations. 

@SingingMosaic

[SingingMosaic]

I'm dead now, Ene kiiiilled meeee.

[AonEne]

On 8/23/2020 at 8:45 PM, SingingMosaic said:

I'm dead now, Ene kiiiilled meeee.

Happy I could help! (And they killed me too ) 

[Koloss17]

On 8/23/2020 at 2:13 PM, AonEne said:

 

Imagine an aroace demigod girl wanting to be one of the Hunters of Artemis. Artemis would give the whole warning about how you have to swear off dating and the girl is just like “oh no what a nightmare” all sarcastically and Artemis smiles like oh this one, I like this one. 

 

There is dispute whether or not Artemis had sexual relations with her followers, so maybe this could be a buzzkill.

[Emi]

9 hours ago, Koloss17 said:

Imagine an aroace demigod girl wanting to be one of the Hunters of Artemis. Artemis would give the whole warning about how you have to swear off dating and the girl is just like “oh no what a nightmare” all sarcastically and Artemis smiles like oh this one, I like this one. 

Isn’t that happening often actually?

[TheOnlyGayintheTwoRivers]

I just met Adolin and uh....he has BDE

That's my Ted Talk

[theTruthshaper]

I can't breathe.

It's pretty long, and might have a bit of language warning.

Spoiler

 

[Vailima]

I used to be a gay disaster, now I'm just gay 

[Vailima]

8 hours ago, revelryintheart said:

You've evolved to a level we could only aspire to reach. Well done.

Thank you so much, I have evolved from a disaster to simply a bit of a mess, I am thrilled with my new position of a bit of a gay mess

[AonEne]

“You’re like two bad decisions away from a fake dating AU where only one partner knows they’re fake dating” 

That’s incredible. I need more content like this in my life. 

[Lunar Blessing]

What is this! How have I not found this before!

[Emi]

*waves to BoP cheerfully*

[Lunar Blessing]

1 minute ago, Emi said:

*waves to BoP cheerfully*

*waves back*

[Delightful]

On 04/09/2020 at 1:07 AM, The_Truthwatcher said:

I can't breathe.

It's pretty long, and might have a bit of language warning.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Could someone do an image description on this then? 

[DramaQueen]

On 9/17/2020 at 5:36 AM, Delightful said:

Could someone do an image description on this then? 

Spoiler

So I just went with my buddy while he got a rib tattoo, and they hurt like a lot, so he's over there grimacing and being a huge manbaby so I just reach over and grab his hand so he can squeeze it because I'm a good person who helps others.

And he's clinging to my hand like it's a life preserver and I'm being me and talking about nonsense like Grimace from the McDonald's commercial and how R2D2 is always ready to throw hands, and whatever, and the artist keeps glancing over at me and I'm like do your tattoo bro I've got my buddy handled.

But then I realize he's like, looking over because he can't tell if he can see something or not and I glance down and I see my rainbow chainmail bracelet, and how I'm talking to my buddy all fondly and I'm like stroking his arm like he's a wounded animal, and right as it clicks on my head, the tattoo artist says in his most nonchalant voice possible, like intentionally bland, I'm just talking about the weather haha what do you mean voice,

"So, are you guys close?'

And I, being gay, am over there internally screaming because yeah, I am gay, but like this is just me being a good bro and my buddy is COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE HE'S A GARBAGE STRAIGHT PERSON AND HE SAYS,

"Yeah, of course, that's why I asked him to come."

SO NOW THE TATTOO ARTIST THINKS HE'S RIGHT AND HE HAS A GAY COUPLE GETTING A TATTOO AND MY BUDDY HAS NO IDEA AND I'M AWKWARDLY SITTING HERE LIKE SHOULD I STOP HOLDING HIS HAND??? SHOULD I CORRECT THIS TATTOO ARTIST??? SHOULD I LET MY BUDDY KNOW??? MY GAY SELF DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BEING INCORRECTLY ACCUSED OF BEING GAY, WHAT DO YOU DO

So that tattoo artist is like, "Cool man, that's great, good for you."

So then my buddy is like can I get some water, and the guy comes back with one bottle of water and my buddy takes a drink and then hands it to me, and I'm like obviously he needs to lay down and needs me to hold his water so I just hold it in my hand, but turns out he was offering me water, so he turns to me and is like Colton, drink some water, and I take a drink and my garbage lizard brain is like "You're drink sharing in front of the tattoo artist, now he KNOWS he's right."

So we're talking about tattoos with the artist and I mention that I'm getting a tattoo in September and my buddy is like, "Yeah I'm gonna go and hold his hand for that one haha" and the tattoo artist FREAKING SAYS "I mean, I should hope so."

I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO.

I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO.

AND NO ONE ACTUALLY BROUGHT IT UP. I KNEW WHAT THE TATTOO ARTIST WAS THINKING BUT DIDN'T CORRECT HIM. NOW WHEN MY BUDDY GOES BACK AND GETS HIS NEXT TATTOO IN THE FUTURE AND I'M NOT THERE HE'S GOING TO "OH WHERE YOUR BOYFRIEND"

Then there's a comment that says:

I mean obviously, the situation to this is to go with him to the next tattoo apt too, because NGL you're like two bad decisions away from a fake dating AU where only one partner knows they're fake-dating and that's amazing.

You're welcome. That took a while.

Edited September 25, 2020 by DramaQueen

[Turtle]

Wait... THIS IS A THING WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN THIS BEFORE??

*Sputters incoherently*