The Last Post Wins!!!!!

Zephrun’s Imperium · May 21, 2019

Well, you've only got one free post left. Gotta figure it out quick!

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

5 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Perhaps.

...

THAT'S BAD.

... *Luna's screen flickers*

Most certainly.

...

No no no no no no....

IT’S GETTING TO MY COMPUTER! IT IS ALMOST TO THE STAGE WHERE IT CAN SHUT IT OFF! WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING, NOW!

Edited May 21, 2019 by Lunamor

**AonEne** · May 21, 2019

AHHHHH, WHAT? WHAT DO WE DO? IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN JUST DISCONNECT THE KEYBOARD OR ANYTHI -

...

Never mind, the keyboard's in my trash can outside, a new one's hooked up, we're good.

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

Just now, AonEne said:

AHHHHH, WHAT? WHAT DO WE DO? IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN JUST DISCONNECT THE KEYBOARD OR ANYTHI -

...

Never mind, the keyboard's in my trash can outside, a new one's hooked up, we're good.

I was hoping you were gonna end it that way.

**AonEne** · May 21, 2019

It's such an easy solution, I'm annoyed at RP-me for not realizing it sooner.

Ethan_sedai · May 21, 2019

Yay! now I don't have to read and interpret HTML code!

this is what HTML-or whatever Inspect Element is in- looks like

Spoiler

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<a href="https://www.17thshard.com/forum/profile/29326-aonene/" data-ipshover="" data-ipshover-target="https://www.17thshard.com/forum/profile/29326-aonene/?do=hovercard&referrer=https%253A%252F%252Fwww.17thshard.com%252Fforum%252Ftopic%252F79946-the-last-post-wins%252F%253Fpage%253D351%2526csrfKey%253D06ea7cb67a633d289d4d5a6de0018903" title="Go to AonEne's profile" class="ipsType_break">AonEne</a></strong> <span class="ipsResponsive_showPhone ipsResponsive_inline">  
<span title="Member's reputation title" data-ipstooltip="" class="ipsRepBadge ipsRepBadge_positive">
 <i class="fa fa-plus-circle"></i> Tarachin Superstar
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<li class="ipsResponsive_hidePhone ipsType_break">...can make a roleplay out of anything.</li>
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<a href="https://www.17thshard.com/forum/profile/29326-aonene/" data-ipshover="" data-ipshover-target="https://www.17thshard.com/forum/profile/29326-aonene/?do=hovercard" class="ipsUserPhoto ipsUserPhoto_large" title="Go to AonEne's profile">
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It's such an easy solution, I'm annoyed at RP-me for not realizing it sooner. <img alt=":P" data-emoticon="" height="20" src="https://www.17thshard.com/forum/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png" srcset="https://www.17thshard.com/forum/uploads/emoticons/[email protected] 2x" title=":P" width="20"></p>
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If you don't want to see the actual code, here are some snippets from it:

ga('send', 'pageview');

and a few other unintelligible lines of code that I have no clue what they actually do.

Edited May 21, 2019 by Ethan_Sedai

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

3 minutes ago, AonEne said:

It's such an easy solution, I'm annoyed at RP-me for not realizing it sooner.

:lol: Hooray for slightly dumber RP versions of ourselves!

**AonEne** · May 21, 2019

Holy crap that's long. It creates another version of the Shard?

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

*wins while simultaneously fighting the keyboard in a status update*

**AonEne** · May 21, 2019

*wins a ton*

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

A ton of what?

**AonEne** · May 21, 2019

Of oxygen!

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

*wins*

BringerofShadows · May 21, 2019

*Wins*

Vargo Seldon · May 21, 2019

There's a reason that I probably should've put this in a spoiler:

"Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single morning
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ah

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseparable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I hate sauerkraut

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandary
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque"

~Wied Al Yankovic

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

WHY DID I READ THAT ENTIRE THING

Zephrun’s Imperium · May 21, 2019

I'm asking myself the same thing, Luna.

Rebecca · May 21, 2019

Well, you guys seem pretty frustrated with that story, so I’m not going to read it. I have another story for you guys though. Hope you enjoy.

Spoiler

A wealthy man had a little boy. For some reason, his first words were "ping pong ball." When the boys was old enough to speak and understand birthdays and gifts and such (about 3 years old), the man asked the boy, "So son, what would you like for your birthday this year?" The boy said, "Daddy, I would like a pink ping pong ball." Father said, "That's it? No trucks, no trains, no puzzles?" The boy said, "No, just a pink ping pong ball."

So the father gets him the pink ping pong ball and wraps it up. The boy is absolutely delighted. He takes the pink ping pong ball to his room, and the pink ping pong ball is never seen again.

A day before his 15th birthday, asked by his father, "Well, my son, what would you like for your birthday?"

The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leaped ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, "Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have five pink ping pong balls.

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, "If if is pink ping pong balls that you want, then pink ping pong balls you shall have.

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday presents five pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the pink ping pong balls to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong balls were gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

"Father," replied the son, "I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a ten pack of pink ping pong balls."

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bya, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. He said therefore, "If it is a ten pack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a ten pack of pink ping pong balls you shall have."

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a ten pack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the ten pack of pink ping pong balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ping pong ball remained, merely the empty husk of the ten pack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

"Father," said the son to this, "I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls."

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. "A carton of pink ping pong balls?"

"A carton of pink ping pong balls," the boy confirmed.

"I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls," said the father, "but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.:

And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.

The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.

"Dear son," said the father, "I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?"

The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. "Please humor me, dear father."

The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.

The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart form the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.

"Dearest father," the son started, " have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls."

'One of these years,' his father thought, 'I should get to the bottom of this.' However, he decided to humor his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.

The next day, the son was given the address of a ware house where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home. The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.

The next year, a day before his son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.

"Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible."

It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.

The next day, the father took his son to the harbor and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.

"Father," the son said, "You've made me very happy yet again."

That night, the son spent on board the tanker.

The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.

A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.

His father visited the young man in the hospital. "My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?"

Weakly, the son sat up in bed. "Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one ten pack of pink ping pong balls."

The father held his son's had tightly. "Whatever you wish, my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls."

"Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls."

The father thought that was fair enough, and the next day brought his son the ten pack of pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.

"Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.

The son nodded weakly.

The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.

"Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls," the father requested.

The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.

"I-" the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.

"I- I-"

Then he died.

(I didn’t write this, by the way.)

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

14 minutes ago, Vargo Seldon said:

~Wied Al Yankovic

I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF IT IS REALLY BY WEIRD AL

3 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Well, you guys seem pretty frustrated with that story, so I’m not going to read it. I have another story for you guys though. Hope you enjoy.

Hide contents

A wealthy man had a little boy. For some reason, his first words were "ping pong ball." When the boys was old enough to speak and understand birthdays and gifts and such (about 3 years old), the man asked the boy, "So son, what would you like for your birthday this year?" The boy said, "Daddy, I would like a pink ping pong ball." Father said, "That's it? No trucks, no trains, no puzzles?" The boy said, "No, just a pink ping pong ball."

So the father gets him the pink ping pong ball and wraps it up. The boy is absolutely delighted. He takes the pink ping pong ball to his room, and the pink ping pong ball is never seen again.

A day before his 15th birthday, asked by his father, "Well, my son, what would you like for your birthday?"

The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leaped ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, "Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have five pink ping pong balls.

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, "If if is pink ping pong balls that you want, then pink ping pong balls you shall have.

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday presents five pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the pink ping pong balls to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong balls were gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

"Father," replied the son, "I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a ten pack of pink ping pong balls."

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bya, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. He said therefore, "If it is a ten pack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a ten pack of pink ping pong balls you shall have."

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a ten pack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the ten pack of pink ping pong balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ping pong ball remained, merely the empty husk of the ten pack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

"Father," said the son to this, "I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls."

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. "A carton of pink ping pong balls?"

"A carton of pink ping pong balls," the boy confirmed.

"I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls," said the father, "but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.:

And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.

The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.

"Dear son," said the father, "I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?"

The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. "Please humor me, dear father."

The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.

The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart form the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.

"Dearest father," the son started, " have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls."

'One of these years,' his father thought, 'I should get to the bottom of this.' However, he decided to humor his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.

The next day, the son was given the address of a ware house where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home. The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.

The next year, a day before his son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.

"Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible."

It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.

The next day, the father took his son to the harbor and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.

"Father," the son said, "You've made me very happy yet again."

That night, the son spent on board the tanker.

The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.

A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.

His father visited the young man in the hospital. "My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?"

Weakly, the son sat up in bed. "Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one ten pack of pink ping pong balls."

The father held his son's had tightly. "Whatever you wish, my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls."

"Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls."

The father thought that was fair enough, and the next day brought his son the ten pack of pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.

"Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.

The son nodded weakly.

The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.

"Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls," the father requested.

The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.

"I-" the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.

"I- I-"

Then he died.

(I didn’t write this, by the way.)

THAT WAS MEAN

Rebecca · May 21, 2019

I’m sorry.

Spoiler

Kind of.

Turtle373 · May 21, 2019

that was really mean, and I accidentally did my 1000th post already, whoops

+Ark1002 · May 21, 2019

1 hour ago, Rebecca said:

Well, you guys seem pretty frustrated with that story, so I’m not going to read it. I have another story for you guys though. Hope you enjoy.

Hide contents

A wealthy man had a little boy. For some reason, his first words were "ping pong ball." When the boys was old enough to speak and understand birthdays and gifts and such (about 3 years old), the man asked the boy, "So son, what would you like for your birthday this year?" The boy said, "Daddy, I would like a pink ping pong ball." Father said, "That's it? No trucks, no trains, no puzzles?" The boy said, "No, just a pink ping pong ball."

So the father gets him the pink ping pong ball and wraps it up. The boy is absolutely delighted. He takes the pink ping pong ball to his room, and the pink ping pong ball is never seen again.

A day before his 15th birthday, asked by his father, "Well, my son, what would you like for your birthday?"

The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leaped ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, "Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have five pink ping pong balls.

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, "If if is pink ping pong balls that you want, then pink ping pong balls you shall have.

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday presents five pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the pink ping pong balls to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong balls were gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

"Father," replied the son, "I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a ten pack of pink ping pong balls."

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bya, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. He said therefore, "If it is a ten pack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a ten pack of pink ping pong balls you shall have."

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a ten pack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the ten pack of pink ping pong balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ping pong ball remained, merely the empty husk of the ten pack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

"Father," said the son to this, "I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls."

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. "A carton of pink ping pong balls?"

"A carton of pink ping pong balls," the boy confirmed.

"I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls," said the father, "but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.:

And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.

The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.

"Dear son," said the father, "I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?"

The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. "Please humor me, dear father."

The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.

The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart form the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.

"Dearest father," the son started, " have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls."

'One of these years,' his father thought, 'I should get to the bottom of this.' However, he decided to humor his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.

The next day, the son was given the address of a ware house where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home. The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.

The next year, a day before his son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.

"Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible."

It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.

The next day, the father took his son to the harbor and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.

"Father," the son said, "You've made me very happy yet again."

That night, the son spent on board the tanker.

The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.

A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.

His father visited the young man in the hospital. "My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?"

Weakly, the son sat up in bed. "Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one ten pack of pink ping pong balls."

The father held his son's had tightly. "Whatever you wish, my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls."

"Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls."

The father thought that was fair enough, and the next day brought his son the ten pack of pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.

"Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.

The son nodded weakly.

The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.

"Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls," the father requested.

The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.

"I-" the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.

"I- I-"

Then he died.

(I didn’t write this, by the way.)

Nooooooooo that's mean

Lunamor · May 21, 2019

Rebecca whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Rosharan A.C. · May 21, 2019

...

what. THE heck Rebecca.

I place down the bologna card.

Edited May 21, 2019 by Rosharan A.C.

Rebecca · May 21, 2019

I found it on someone’s AMA here on the Shard. Just figured I’d spread the love!

Spoiler

But actually, I’m really sorry.

Spoiler

You’re reactions were really funny though...

The Last Post Wins!!!!!

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