Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles

[+Ark1002]

I'll try and sign up as Stephen Leeds.

[BitBitio he/him]

2 minutes ago, Badadah said:

I'll try and sign up as Stephen Leeds.

Not cosmere.

[+Ark1002]

We were just saying tournament 6 will be non-cosmere. Read the last page. And I can't join tournament 5, as it is the winners only.

[BitBitio he/him]

Warning: Major spoilers ahead

Spoiler

Who’s that? It’s Shai, best of the best.

The only thing that can stop her is ralkalest

 

LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR….. SHAI!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Wan ShaiLu, that there is my name

Best Forger in Rose,

I have quite a bit of fame.

 

From the swamps of Dzhamar to the mounts of Mulla’dil,

Everyone around has heard of my kind, still.

 

I’m a Forger, it’s true, with all kinds of skills

Watching my power brings out all sorts of thrills.

 

I can change the past and turn the gears of time back

From a rusty mug to a goblet and straw to a hat

 

You need a warrior, I got a stamp.

If you need a survivalist I can make a camp.

 

Working with reality and souls so well

I got to remake Ashravan's soul and it was swell.

 

Hrathen, weak, died, what a shame.

Stabbed in the side-ha! That's just lame.

 

You couldn't do it right, couldn't do the job

You couldn't beat Dakhor, Dilaf and Fjon.

 

Sure, you ended the fight

But then died yourself

But hey, it's all right

At least you didn't lose yourself (wait)

 

Sorry, I misspoke. 

You totally did.

Your faith in Jaddeth broke

And you failed Dakhor as a kid

 

Give up, you armored Fjordish freak

You're incredibly weak.

 

Hey, it's Lightsong!

Tarachin Superstar.

And sorry, pal, you're wrong, 

You didn't make it far.

 

In the great game of politics

You gotta know when to fight, when to flee

You can't play the game just for kicks,

But that's what you do, and it makes me think, gee

 

How could a god be so stupid

Blushweaver loves you

She's been struck by Cupid

Apparently Cupid didn't get you too

 

You died giving up your life to save a tongue

That's kinda pathetic

"I can at last speak!" the God King sung

Unlike you, he isn't apathetic

 

As you two can see, you have little chance

I will wait and watch you go down

When you run off crying and start your rants

I, Shai, will take up the crown!

 

[+Sorana she/her]

1 hour ago, Ashspren said:

I have something special planned for the fifth tournament, so I’m thinking non-Cosmere for the sixth. 

I know I can't reserve a spot yet, but I'm in!

[Ashspren]

Here’s the link... 

https://goo.gl/forms/ln55NTQcuttFR6KW2

VOTE VOTE VOTE!

[Kidpen he/him]

Tournament 6 will be noncosmere?
Would you be willing to include noncosmere in some after that?

There are so many I want. So many. 

Spoiler

 

Alcatraz

M-Bot

Doomslug

J.C.

Tia

Nalizar

Melody

Bastille

Leavenworth

Charles the Pterodactyl 

Sing

I'd like David, but he was already taken

Spensa

Morningtide

Jorgen

Literally every other noncosmere character.

[I reserve this space for any I think of later to edit in[

 

^ I reserve all of these.

[Paranoid King he/him]

2 hours ago, Kidpen said:

 

  Hide contents

 

Alcatraz

M-Bot

Doomslug

J.C.

Tia

Nalizar

Melody

Bastille

Leavenworth

Charles the Pterodactyl 

Sing

I'd like David, but he was already taken

Spensa

Morningtide

Jorgen

Literally every other noncosmere character.

[I reserve this space for any I think of later to edit in[

 

^ I reserve all of these.

Wow. Looks like spots are going fast. I'll have to call Skip, from I hate Dragons.

[+Sorana she/her]

Voted!

@BitBitio Alright, yours was better than mine for Shai! Good work! I liked it a lot!

@John203 Good work on your side too!

 

[Fezzik]

Thanks! Bit actually managed to roast the correct people, though...

[BitBitio he/him]

[Herowannabe he/him]

6 hours ago, John203 said:

Thanks! Bit actually managed to roast the correct people, though...

Yeah I was going to vote for you, but then I realized that you roasted the wrong little girl, so I had to give my vote to bitbitio. Sorry!  

[+Sorana she/her]

9 hours ago, John203 said:

Thanks! Bit actually managed to roast the correct people, though...

Yeah... that simply happens Could have been me

[+Ark1002]

I voted for Hrathen. I had no choice.

[Ashspren]

And the winner is... @BitBitio, with Shai! It was a very, very close round. 

I’m going be off the Shard for the next 6-7 days (and if I’m on, it will be limited), so I’m going to wait to start the next round of roasts. 

So, that concludes Round 1! Stay tuned, everyone! 

[BitBitio he/him]

What is this?! After three attempts, I can claim victory?

Well, third times the charm.

[Fezzik]

Congrats! Well fought.

[BitBitio he/him]

Aye, twas excellent. GG

[+Ark1002]

*Complains that he also tried three times*

[Felt he/him]

@Ashspren if I can make a suggestion, it would be nice to have those days to prepare a roast...

Half finale roasts are kinda unfair as they are; the first two have 48 hours, but the second two have double the amount and more...

So my suggestion is to announce all the half finalists, who is roasting who, and post them all togheter...

In this way we'll get more time to prepare so you'll get better roasts and it will be more fair...

What do you think?  

 

Edited November 17, 2018 by Felt

[+Ark1002]

I'm assuming it's late. I think that would have been a great idea, but I think she has started that six to seven day leave.

[Herowannabe he/him]

On 11/16/2018 at 8:47 AM, Badadah said:

*Complains that he also tried three times*

Here have an upvote

[Ashspren]

I’m back, everyone! Hope you’ve all had a great week. 

On 11/16/2018 at 5:43 PM, Felt said:

@Ashspren if I can make a suggestion, it would be nice to have those days to prepare a roast...

Half finale roasts are kinda unfair as they are; the first two have 48 hours, but the second two have double the amount and more...

So my suggestion is to announce all the half finalists, who is roasting who, and post them all togheter...

In this way we'll get more time to prepare so you'll get better roasts and it will be more fair...

What do you think?  

 

I like this idea! Let’s go for it. 

~~~

Group 1: 

@Paranoid King, with Tillaume! 

@BitBitio, with Shai! 

~~~

Group 2: 

@Herowannabe, with Rock! 

@Felt, with Adolin! 

~~~

You all have 48 hours to post. Good luck, everyone!

[Paranoid King he/him]

Oh, cool. I'll get right on it.

[Paranoid King he/him]

@BitBitio, you ready to get roasted?

Spoiler

The first round is over,

I'm next up, I think.

I'll check out the news

while I mix up a drink.

 

But what's this I see?

Oh, you're on the front page.

 

You're surrounded with lies,

you know nothing but fakes,

I really don't think that

you have what it takes

 

I'll bring home the trophy,

I'm second to none

What's your skill, baking?

I'll roast you well done

 

Your six personalities

lacking in style.

And even together

they can't best this trial

 

Shaizan is foolhardy,

Scholar is weak,

Survivor's uncivilized

Beggar's a freak

 

The Way Out reflects on

your heart's true desire

to forget about forging,

and simply retire

 

So you yourself think

that you're on the wrong road

Let me save you the trouble

and lighten your load.

 

Your work seen by thousands

Now that's your real goal

So that's why you burned

a priceless painting whole?

 

Your morals are spotty,

you abhor bloodsealing

but see nothing wrong with

some old-fashioned stealing.

 

The empire's wealthy,

but still you're impressed

when you're stuck in a cell

built out of ralkalest

 

Compared to Elendel,

your city's a slum

My weapons are made of

pure aluminum

 

You've nothing against me

in your bag of tricks

It seems I'm the victor

in one against six