The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Lunamor she/her]

Because his grandson had stepped on a crack.

Edited April 15, 2019 by Lunamor

[Vogelsang he/him]

...causing the third World War.

Edited April 15, 2019 by Taradiddle

[Lunamor she/her]

And a bombshell had been launched directly into his back.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Fortunately for him, there wasn't a bomb inside.

Edited April 15, 2019 by Gancho Libre

[Lunamor she/her]

It still broke his back, though.

[Jaywalk he/him]

He was paralyzed for the rest of his life...

and, unfortunately, in the Beyond.

[Lunamor she/her]

It stunk. So did the skunk next to him named...

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Murathulian.

[Lunamor she/her]

He was very self conscious of his smell. 

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

So he bought Febreeze religiously. 

[Lunamor she/her]

Meaning he bought it in order to worship it.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Kelsier was jealous of all of the attention Murathulian paid Febreeze, so he had new statues of himself built all over Roshar.

Edited April 15, 2019 by Shard of Thought

[Lunamor she/her]

Unfortunately, they made them of Himself, not Kelsier. He was furious.

Edited April 15, 2019 by Lunamor

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

So furious, in fact, that he...

[Lunamor she/her]

Decked the builders of the statues.

What else?

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

That's all he knows. 

The builders fled to Nalthis safety.

[Lunamor she/her]

And promptly had their Breaths stolen.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

They promptly Suffocated.

[+Doomstick he/him]

they recovered from the gasp

[xinoehp512 he/him]

But were still Drab. This made them depressed.

[+Doomstick he/him]

so they wore bright colors

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Not bolded.

So they decided to take someone else's Breath away.

[Lunamor she/her]

With a beautiful performance of a song!

Edited April 16, 2019 by Lunamor

[+Doomstick he/him]

though others just punched people in the gut

[Lunamor she/her]

But they had no finesse.