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The Longest Thread (Misadventures)


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Narrator Firerust walked backed in holding a bucket of chicken after being AFK for two years. "So, what'd I miss?" He saw the fight between Thaidakar and Nameless, saw that Everyone was screaming (what was her problem anyway), saw that the ghanderflaffle empire had risen again (oh, not this again), and saw the statue dedicated to the dead rock. He admired the statue, admired how its searing flames accentuated its natural beauty. Then he stepped back to let Thaidakar and Nameless continue their pointless, meaningless scuffle that was bound to have no consequence to the greater universe unless the Narrators did weird stuff like they always do.

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Nameless chose that moment to realize that the one thing that prevented him from besting Thaidakar for good was those blasted laws of physics. More specifically, it was the fact that gravity was only half as strong as it should be. He glanced around quickly to ensure none of those blasted interdimensional narratorial damage control agents were around, then doubled the force of gravity.

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Facepalm rushed in, wearing a slytherin scarf and clutching a pygmy puff plushie and five chocolate frog cards. "Sorry, @Thaidakar the Ghostblood for not responding to your call, i was at harry potter world. Anyway, what's happening?" Facepalm staggered to the ground, realizing that gravity was acting really weird. "Popcorn chicken, help me!" They cried. The popcorn chicken, which had abandoned its quest for The Ultimate Facepalm long ago, sprouted wings and flew to Facepalm. Facepalm didn't really know what to to with it, so it just circled around nameless, making popcorn noises.

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Nameless noticed Facepalm rushing in, and decided he needed some backup. Thinking quickly, he gave Moni the powers of teleportation, quantum reversal, and kinetic manipulation. (He also noticed the universe collapsing, but elected to ignore that for the time being.)

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