The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[whattheHoid she/her]

A sheep said, "Bah."

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

A prairie dog said, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

[Silva]

The cow went "MOO!" and Old Macdonald had his farm.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Somebody in a galaxy far away went, "E-I-E-I-O!"

[Ashertliden]

And for a brief time, all was silent.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

But Time didn't like wearing briefs, so he hoped to break the awkward silence by announcing that Stormlight 4 would be released a year early.

[Silva]

The celebration that followed that statement could be compared to no other because...

[Ink he/him]

The fans were too busy reading and realizing that Moash wouldn't get a redemption arc.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Some narrators, i.e. me, said Moash who? Oh, you mean that piece of chulls dung? The crem beneath my feet? But secretly hopes that if anyone can make me feel something other than loathing for Moash that a certain author will make it so. After all, Elhokar, glorious. 

Meanwhile, Uncle Brandy was caught with his pants down in a potato factory. Butt had to bail him out of trouble again.

[+Doomstick he/him]

The boat still sank

[BitBitio he/him]

Detrare had sank it.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

The suriviors were saved by a passing Ghanderflaffle. Unfortunately, these weren't the good, nice ghanderflaffles Butt had encountered. These were...

[whattheHoid she/her]

The notorious Bad Waffle Ghanderflaffles. They went around cooking and shoving hot, ill-prepared waffles in people's faces and then dumped fake maple syrup on your hair.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

They were the worst kind of flaffle. They tied everyone important up and torture them via fake maple syrup.

[Ink he/him]

So the mediocre waffle ghanderflaffles made alright pancakes with high fructose maple syrup.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

8 hours ago, BitBitio said:

Detrare had sank it.

XD Thank you for that gem. I'm upvoting that once I'm able to upvote again.

The Narrators wondered what had made all that fructose so high in the first place.

[Ink he/him]

It wasn't going to tell anyone.

[whattheHoid she/her]

The Maple Tree Ents of the Maple Syrup Guild decided to hire someone capable of finding out why the Fructose was so high and how to topple the Bad Waffles Ghanderflaffles. They called in a specialist, none other than...

[Ink he/him]

Borio Singladi, moustached aristocrat extrodinare. 

[whattheHoid she/her]

He was an expert in all things high and becoming mustachioed.

[BitBitio he/him]

Borio Singladi* studied the waffle. With authority!

*No relation to Borio Singaldi, The Prospection Company, or Borio Anthology Group

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

The waffle turned into a cane, which made Borio Singladi very happy. Unfortunately for him, Borio Singaldi also wanted that cane. So he sent Earnestwise Tomatopatch to fetch the waffle cane before the ghanderflaffles could get their hooves on it.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Unfortunately a certain Foolwise Cabbagepatch got to said cane first before Earnestwise Tomatopatch could. 

[Ink he/him]

Benadril Cucumberpatch hit Foolwise Cabbagepatch over the head and stole the cane.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Than along comes Vicks Dayquail for the steal.