Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

[Nathrangking he/him]

306. Never muse your luck at surviving the initial clash. It may be the last thing you ever do.

[Lunamor she/her]

307. Do not immediately grieve for loved ones who perish. Chances are, they aren’t dead.

Edited March 7, 2019 by Lunamor

[Bartimaeus he/him]

308. Be sure to not have a special someone ie girlfriend, boyfriend, dog. Because if you have to go off to war, chance are they are not going to wait for you or they would just Dear John you while your out on the front.

Edited March 10, 2019 by Bartimaeus

[Snipexe he/him]

308 a. Also don’t do the above because they’re people that can be taken hostage, and can be used to manipulate you.

[Unhinged he/him]

309. Go back and reread rule 200. it can not be overstated 

310. If a beautiful member of the opposite gender turns up under mysterious circumstances and asks for your help kill them immediately they were undoubtedly a spy/assassin/ traitor/some combination of the above and they were never actually in any real danger anyway.

 

[AonEne he/him]

On 3/8/2019 at 8:45 AM, Bartimaeus said:

308. Be sure to not have a special someone ie girlfriend, boyfriend, dog. Because if you have to gooff to war, chance are they are not going to wait for you or they would just Dear John you while your out on the front.

Even the dog? That would be the saddest thing ever.

20 hours ago, Unhinged said:

310. If a beautiful member of the opposite gender turns up under mysterious circumstances and asks for your help kill them immediately they were undoubtedly a spy/assassin/ traitor/some combination of the above and they were never actually in any real danger anyway.

311. Same with people of the same gender, if that's who you're attracted to. We here at The List accommodate all danger opportunities.

[Bartimaeus he/him]

312. If you are an apprentice to some old guy that is a bit on the odd side, pay attention to whatever they tell you to do becuase chances are, they probably were some grand archmage a couple decades back.

[Eluvianii he/him]

313. If there's a grumpy old man in the village that doesn't speak to anyone and everyone talks ill of him, go to his house and become his friend. Chances are that eventually he'll teach you magic.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

On 3/9/2019 at 7:26 PM, AonEne said:

Even the dog? That would be the saddest thing ever.

Ene, take a moment and think about what happened to your KotC character. She would have been wise to follow that rule.

 

314. If something unimportant is mentioned more than 7 times in the first half of the story, it's actually very important but just not quite yet.

[Vogelsang he/him]

Trying to prevent a prophecy will just end up causing it.

[Bartimaeus he/him]

315. Instead of trying to hasten a prophecy or try to stop it, just let it devolep naturally while keeping an eye on it.

[AonEne he/him]

On 3/14/2019 at 11:08 AM, Firerust said:

Ene, take a moment and think about what happened to your KotC character. She would have been wise to follow that rule.

Oh. Oh yeah. Heh.

317. Don't try to kill the evil leader when you don't have someone else lined up to lead. Anarchy isn't fun.

[Bookish Ocelot she/her]

318. If you have 1 or no parents, chances are you’re the child of royalty and/or prophecy. 

[Lisa, Reading Spren]

319. Good chances to survive? Be the chosen one.

[Ethan_sedai he/him]

320. If you met with Hoid once, you are probably a somewhat important character. If you aren’t, follow him around, I don’t ever remember someone dying in the presence of Hoid. 

321. If you meet Hoid repeatedly, you are definitely an important character, you should pay more attention to everything, especially everything Hoid says. 

322. If you and everyone else around you have repeatedly met Hoid, you are probably on Roshar, and should relocate to a safer planet. This is probably true even if you aren’t on Roshar.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

323. If you're a farmer, you're going to eventually become pretty much the most important person in the book. But you're going to regret it, so just build a new farm when agents of the enemy burn it down, sending you on your quest

[Gancho Libre he/him]

3 hours ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

323. If you're a farmer, you're going to eventually become pretty much the most important person in the book. But you're going to regret it, so just build a new farm when agents of the enemy burn it down, sending you on your quest

Oh my gosh that is SO TRUE!!!

[Silva]

324. Make sure you don't have any long-lost relatives who might try to kill you in the future

325. Be nice to everyone because they otherwise might try to kill you in the future.

326. Don't give powerful weaponry to anyone since they might try to kill you in the future.

327. Anyone might try to kill you in the future, so don't be surprised for so long at their betrayal that they manage to actually kill you.

Edited April 23, 2019 by Silva
EDIT: 1800th post. Fun.

[Nathrangking he/him]

3 hours ago, Silva said:

324. Make sure you don't have any long-lost relatives who might try to kill you in the future

325. Be nice to everyone because they otherwise might try to kill you in the future.

326. Don't give powerful weaponry to anyone since they might try to kill you in the future.

327. Anyone might try to kill you in the future, so don't be surprised for so long at their betrayal that they manage to actually kill you.

328. If you run into an old friend and they are acting oddly keep an eye on them, but don't get too close.

329. Never ignore the odd omens that foretell the coming of death.

[Lunamor she/her]

13 minutes ago, Nathrangking said:

329. Never ignore the odd omens that foretell the coming of death.

I would like to amend this rule.

HP spoilers ahead:

329. Never ignore the odd omens that foretell the coming of death unless they are a dog shaped Grimm. Then it’s probably just your crazy godfather.

Edit: Turns out this was my 3500th post!

Edited April 24, 2019 by Lunamor

[Nathrangking he/him]

Just now, Lunamor said:

I would like to amend this rule.

HP spoilers ahead:

329. Never ignore the odd omens that foretell the coming of death unless they are a dog shaped Grimm. Then it’s probably just your crazy godfather.

330. Let me amend the amendment or unless a rambling seer reads your tea leaves.

[Lunamor she/her]

Just now, Nathrangking said:

330. Let me amend the amendment or unless a rambling seer reads your tea leaves.

Especially if the Seer was hired by Dumbledore. Dumbledore tends to make very poor hiring decisions.

[AonEne he/him]

1 hour ago, Lunamor said:

Never ignore the odd omens that foretell the coming of death unless they are a dog shaped Grimm.

 

52 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

Especially if the Seer was hired by Dumbledore.

331. But if either of these were Grimm Grimm, whether a Beowolf or a Seer, don't ignore them then. They're probably there to kill you, so ignoring them won't help you survive.

Edited April 24, 2019 by AonEne
clarification

[Lisa, Reading Spren]

332. Stay at home and don't open your door. Especially if a wizard, dwarfs, a weird old man or whoever knocks on your door in the middle of the night. Just turn around and continue sleeping.

[overlord stick]

333. Nothing is a coincidence. Ever.

Edited May 8, 2019 by Emperor Stick