Cosmere puns (Again)

[Lunu'anaki he/him]

I haven't been able to sleep the last couple of KNIGHTS because how RADIANT these puns are. I'm also quite amazed at the Surge of puns posted almost immediately after the thread started. Also, don't forget the time as a collective people have Invested.

[Kobold King he/him]

I haven't been able to sleep the last couple of KNIGHTS because how RADIANT these puns are. I'm also quite amazed at the Surge of puns posted almost immediately after the thread started. Also, don't forget the time as a collective people have Invested.

 

I too am aMraized at the number of puns that have been (Un)made on this thread.

Having trouble sleeping? Your sleep Patterns may be improperly Attuned. Have you tried going to bed early? Maybe around 6 or at Dusk?

[Delightful]

You're right. Straying from our chosen pun style was a Shin.

It's so bad I shale have to fix you with a stone-y stare. Edited April 1, 2014 by Delightful

[Observer]

I wish Brandon's books had stable time loops. Not just because I really love those, but because it would complicate the timeline a whole bunch. Then, after hundreds of thousands of years of crazy-complicated time shenanigans, twisting the timeline into a freakishly overcomplicated ourobourus, I could finally tell you all that Elantris was Aons ago on the timeline.

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

All these puns. They're nerve-Shattering. In fact, my mind has been Splintered. Not a Shard is left.

[Quiver he/him]

I have to admit, I still have a Sliver of hope that a decent pun will survive our Chulling.

Edited April 1, 2014 by Quiver

[Observer]

I have to admit, I still have a Sliver of hope that a decent pun will survive our Chulling.

 

So, if hitting them hard hasn't helped, maybe we need to.... Punt it?

[Arcanist Lupus he/him]

I was trying to come up with clever Aon based puns, but I'd need a genius to create a pun out of The Revenge Aon.

 

 

(It's even worse than usual for this thread, but I like it.)

[Observer]

Somebody needs to tell Navani to refine her son. He's got way too much pride and it needs to be worn down, repeatedly a brutally, with a methodical rhythm akin to a highstorm. I guess I'm saying that she and somebody else need to do something. Sand-er-son.

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

 

 

Somebody needs to tell Navani to refine her son. He's got way too much pride and it needs to be worn down, repeatedly a brutally, with a methodical rhythm akin to a highstorm. I guess I'm saying that she and somebody else need to do something. Sand-er-son.

That was a slow-Burning pun.

(yes, I know my pun is pathetic.)

[Zenith]

You're right. Those were holy inappropriate for this thread - the Shin look upon these puns with faces like stone.

Edited April 2, 2014 by Zenith

[Observer]

Hello, and welcome to the Cosmere Investure Hotline.

 

If you are from Scadrial, Pull away from the receiver and Push one -- Remember, your call will always have a consequence.

 

If you are from Silence Divine, don't bother speaking, nobody has ever heard of you. 

 

If you are an Honor-based Surgebinder, your friends are lazy, and you do not need to call for those who will not call for themselves.

 

Else - call the next hotline to receive some Cryptic advice.

 

If you are from Nalthis, mash the five button and go find the answers for yourself, only to Return later with more questions.

 

If you are from Sel, feel free to push any button, but you'll have to fix the phone first, it's missing a critical wire that will take Aons to fix.

 

If you are a Shard, please verify that this is the hotline you Intended to call before pressing the Invested 16 key.

 

And if you are a Worldhopper, hang up quickly, you have plot-critical events to mess with in an hour. But before you do, the Seventeenth Shard encourages you to Invest in Hoidhunting stocks on your way to work. Hoidhunting: The only way to protect nonintervention is intervention.

 

I should make this a thread...

Edited April 2, 2014 by Observer

[Delightful]

 

 

I should make this a thread...

I agree. Those are fantastic. Sel literally made me laugh out loud.

[Observer]

The operator is actually Hoid, and he calls out insults to anybody who connects.

[Swimmingly he/him]

He's Awakened the switchboard with the command "Make Puns".

[GreyPilgrim he/him]

Observing that his companion was Ashyn, Hoid commented, "On my Honor, you should have some Braized chull!"

[Observer]

Between all these highstorms and cowering plants, I can't help but wonder if Roshar feels....dead Shin-side...

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

[Kobold King he/him]

Between all these highstorms and cowering plants, I can't help but wonder if Roshar feels....dead Shin-side... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Are you kidding? With all this excitement, it probably feels more Alivened than it has in years!

[Observer]

Are you kidding? With all this excitement, it probably feels more Alivened than it has in years!

 

I'll need to send you to Alcatraz for that one.

[Kobold King he/him]

I'll need to send you to Alcatraz for that one.

I ardently hope you're not Siri-ous. I don't think I would Ascend Well in Thug society.

[Observer]

{S] Observer: Ascend.

Okay, sorry, I had to.

The Venture family has always liked to use spies. They've just always, Felt like it...

Also, once the mists were finally used by her, I bet Preservation felt...Vin-dictated...

[Kobold King he/him]

This thread has been Silent. We should Gather more puns...

[GreyPilgrim he/him]

I was fine when everyone stopped Rattling on... It would have been the Death of me.

[MistConnection]

This thread seem to have run out of energy. Kinda like Beethoven's Fifth... dun dun dun duuuuun!

[Delightful]

I was fine when everyone stopped Rattling on... It would have been the Death of me.

As long as your Blood is properly Sealed within you, I believe you will have a hard time becoming Lifeless.