Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

What happens when you give your dog a large hatchet?

It becomes an axehound.

 

What are the Primes doing to deal with unauthorized Forgery?

They're doing their best to Stamp it out.

 

Would you say that shallow body of water is part puddle?

Nah man, it Purelake.

 

When beginning Soulcasting, it's important to Stick to the basics.

Edited by Fatebreaker
Posted (edited)

What did the court tell the Inquisitor?

You may Spike now.

Edited by Steel
Posted

What was the first flying machine traded for by the Northern Interests Trading Company once the people from the First of the Sun became sophisticated enough for trade in the minds of the Ones Above?

 

An A-Patji attack copter.

Posted

What was the first flying machine traded for by the Northern Interests Trading Company once the people from the First of the Sun became sophisticated enough for trade in the minds of the Ones Above?

 

An A-Patji attack copter.

*Facepalm* Upvote because I love Apache Attack Heilos and it's pretty fitting.

Posted (edited)

"Jinkies," Velma said, holding the bead. "This is worth a fortune- but why wouldn't an allomancer burn it?"

"Well gang, looks like we've got a mistery on our hands!"

"A mystery?" Scrappy jumped. "Let me atium, let me atium!"

 

Scooby-Doo and Mistborn. The crossover no one ever asked for. 

Edited by Quiver
Posted

If anyone is religious, I'd suggest praying to The Lord (Ruler) for deliverance from Nalthis(all these) Koloss-fisted puns.

Posted

Why are Stone Shaman archaeological sites always a blast?

 

Cause they're Shin-digs!

 

But a curiously solemn kind of shindig, since archaeology is a heinous blasphemy against rock and all.

Posted

But a curiously solemn kind of shindig, since archaeology is a heinous blasphemy against rock and all.

Maybe they only excavate clay sites? Or Peat-bogs?

Posted

They.could also be uncovering people/objects preserved in ice, or under layers of dirt.or yknow, underwater archaeology or any of that cool stuff.

But then its not a dig....

#jokefail

Posted (edited)

I just Hoid a Storming rough day, spent the whole thing Weeping and I Felt Lifeless. I had a plan to go on a Grand adVenture to Steel someTin known as a “Gemheart” and then Sel it to the bidder with the highest Endowment and Intent to buy.

I asked my friend, “Kandra help me Wit this job? I don’t trust a Thug to have the Honor or Devotion I require.”

“Of course Elend a hand,” he replied with a Radiant smile.

“I Mist having you around, this job’ll be a Realmatic Snap with you on board.”

So we Set off on our misShin from the local Dox, singing “Just Around the Riverspren” (my partner singing the Melody, me the Harmony) and eating roast Ham to Soothe our Spooked spirits. The Breeze would Wax and Wayne with the flow of the river, and my partner and I were Awakened multiple times by eerie Phantom sounds. The river passed under a Bridge and opened into a Marsh, and we eventually reached dry land. My partner found the clearing to the Shattered Plains first, and we instantly saw our prize. The gemheart was right there, on a Heightened pedestal in the midst of a sea of Pits and Wells. We could both feel a Pull towards this artifact, this Sphere of Colors, illuminating the plains with its metallurgic auras of Gold, Silver, and Bronze. My friend Pushed me down with violent force, a gleam of Rioting emotion in their Darkeyes. My friend sprints toward the gemheart, and Iron to catch up. But I’m too late. My friend touches the sphere, and it Splinters itself and my friend into 1,024 Shards that shoot straight up, and then fall like Ash from an Ashmount. I solemnly Returned to my home, alone. My life is in Ruin, that gemheart’s Cultivation effect on my friend’s sense of greed and Dominion led to me being the only Survivor of our quest. I Zinc... I zinc I will type this story on my comPewter as a warning. A warning to not lose sight of your goal of making a punny story and having it get out of hand remarkably quickly and become something so totally weird and unusual that you fell Obligatored to end the story with an apology in the form of a run-on sentence.

The End.

Edit: Fixed the Melody issue you guys pointed out. I know this story's got far more serious problems than that (it doesn't even have a consistent tense, lol), but I'll leave it be, I think.

Edited by Vision
Posted

 

I just Hoid a Storming rough day, spent the whole thing Weeping and I Felt Lifeless. I had a plan to go on a Grand adVenture to Steel someTin known as a “Gemheart” and then Sel it to the bidder with the highest Endowment and Intent to buy. 

 
I asked my friend, “Kandra help me Wit this job? I don’t trust a Thug to have  the Honor or Devotion I require.” 
“Of course Elend a hand,” he replied with a Radiant smile.
“I Mist having you around, this job’ll be a Realmatic Snap with you on board.”
 
So we Set off on our misShin from the local Dox, singing “Just Around the Riverspren” (my partner the melody, me the Harmony) and eating roast Ham to Soothe our Spooked spirits. The Breeze would Wax and Wayne with the flow of the river, and my partner and I were Awakened multiple times by eerie Phantom sounds. The river passed under a Bridge and opened into a Marsh, and we eventually reached dry land. My partner found the clearing to the Shattered Plains first, and we instantly saw our prize. The gemheart was right there, on a Heightened pedestal in the midst of a sea of Pits and Wells. We could both feel a Pull towards this artifact, this Sphere of Colors, illuminating the plains with its metallurgic auras of Gold, Silver, and Bronze. My friend Pushed me down with violent force, a gleam of Rioting emotion in their Darkeyes. My friend sprints toward the gemheart, and Iron to catch up. But I’m too late. My friend touches the sphere, and it Splinters itself and my friend into 1,024 Shards shot straight up, and then falling like Ash from an Ashmount. I solemnly Returned to my home, alone. My life is in Ruin, that gemheart’s Cultivation effect on my friend’s sense of greed and Dominion led to me being the only Survivor of our quest. I Zinc... I zinc I will type this story on my comPewter as a warning. A warning to not lose sight of your goal of making a punny story and having it get out of hand remarkably quickly and become something so totally weird and unusual that you fell Obligatored to end the story with an apology in the form of a run-on sentence.
 
The End.

 

My partner, Melody

  • 1 month later...
Posted

What order of knights radiant would make the best lawyer?

 

A willshaper

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

"I like Splintering Shards," Tom said odiously.

 

"There is some truth in all religions," said Tom harmoniously.

 

"I can fly!" Tom said radiantly.

 

"I'm going to murder the source of Elantrian magic," Tom said dorkily.

Posted (edited)

Ym so Shai my SELf Vstim is Set to Twyndle.

 

Shallan speaks to a Splinter of her random Axies Memory: "But you could be so much more!"

The response: I Am-a-RAM

Edited by Xaladin
Posted

I have been Sprending way too much time thinking about this but it is too Shard to come up with any Witty puns. I've been asking my friends to Hop on over but they Steel haven't been able to help me. I run out of Breath trying to explain what I am doing, but we can't Zinc of anything. Maybe my Heart just doesn't have the Intent right now. I have been aging way too Gold on this, so I probably should leave and Return back to this later. It feels Ironic and Vial that the World is Bringing me to my Snapping point. Well, maybe I should go outside to get some fresh Mare. The cool Breeze will hopefully Awaken and Accentuate my frozen and Metalmind.

Posted

Since nobody else continued my trend...

 

"I made a stamp that filled this hollow cross-shape," Tom said forgetfully.

 

"There's magic in the air," Tom said mistily.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...