Random Stuff X: Something Weird

[+Sorana she/her]

19 minutes ago, Exalted Dungeon Master said:

Late to the party, but it was a book first! And a really good one at that, which I recommend to anyone who hasn't read it yet (especially you all who have seen the movie).

*goes to buy the book after work*

I only watched the movie in the cinema and never even questionend if there was a book behind. Silly me.

[Exalted]

16 minutes ago, Sorana said:

*goes to buy the book after work*

I only watched the movie in the cinema and never even questionend if there was a book behind. Silly me.

It's an excellent book (written by Neil Gaiman, so that's to be expected), and the movie does a fairly good job of following the majority of the plot points to adapt it. There are a few changes here and there, though.

[+Sorana she/her]

47 minutes ago, Exalted Dungeon Master said:

It's an excellent book (written by Neil Gaiman, so that's to be expected), and the movie does a fairly good job of following the majority of the plot points to adapt it. There are a few changes here and there, though.

That's sounds good. I am usually disappointed by movies based on books, because the books are better. Or the movies don't get the right feeling across.

[BitBitio he/him]

4 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Didn’t know where else to put this, but is there a way to report Albums in the Gallery? Because there’s a ton of spam Albums in Community Photos.

I don't know, but you could PM a mod or post in tech support to figure it out.

[Mestiv he/him]

9 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Didn’t know where else to put this, but is there a way to report Albums in the Gallery? Because there’s a ton of spam Albums in Community Photos.

If there is an image in the gallery, you should report that image. If there's a gallery with spam title/description, but not pictures in it, the best way to do is start a thread in the 17th Shard Discussion forum where you post links to those galleries. Such thread would be useful in the future as a place where to report those galleries.

[Rebecca she/her]

I’ll do that Mestiv, and thanks for the help both of you!

 

[Jedal he/him]

yeah i still exist

[Orlion Blight he/him]

13 hours ago, Jedal said:

yeah i still exist

I, too, am technically still alive! 

[Rebecca she/her]

I just saw this at the bottom of the main screen of the Shard, and decided I had to share this perfectly symmetrical number of total posts: 

Spoiler

 

[Totally_Not_A_Worldhopper she/her]

1 hour ago, Rebecca said:

I just saw this at the bottom of the main screen of the Shard, and decided I had to share this perfectly symmetrical number of total posts: 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

So cool. Symmetry is great. It's also a very difficult word to spell.

[Ammanas]

If anyone is a member of audible they are giving out a free audiobook of The Silver Linings Playbook. To be honest I never saw the movie (and it looks very different than the stuff I usually read) but it looks interesting and worth it to give it a try when it doesn't cost anything. I am in the U.S. and don't know if this offer is for all regions or not.

[Draginon he/him]

My mom just has to visit this one store while we're in Florida for vacation this Christmas and she keeps arguing where it's located. It's the disney store located at the Orlando International Premium Outlets but because there's a second one, called Orlando Vineland Premium Outlets, she's confused to high heaven on which one it is. It's easy because Orlando International is across the highway from Universal Studios and Orlando Vineland is almost across from Disney Springs, which if you don't know the area is a good 10 mile distance away from each other. When we went there last time we weren't on the highway for 10 miles to get back to Universal. Also she's confused because both are on the highway but the difference is Orlando International is butted up against the highway while Orlando Vineland has a major road separating it from the highway.

Pretty much it's like confusing Sanderson and Martin because they both write Fantasy books.

[AngelEy3 he/him]

3 hours ago, Draginon said:

My mom just has to visit this one store while we're in Florida for vacation this Christmas and she keeps arguing where it's located. It's the disney store located at the Orlando International Premium Outlets but because there's a second one, called Orlando Vineland Premium Outlets, she's confused to high heaven on which one it is. It's easy because Orlando International is across the highway from Universal Studios and Orlando Vineland is almost across from Disney Springs, which if you don't know the area is a good 10 mile distance away from each other. When we went there last time we weren't on the highway for 10 miles to get back to Universal. Also she's confused because both are on the highway but the difference is Orlando International is butted up against the highway while Orlando Vineland has a major road separating it from the highway.

Pretty much it's like confusing Sanderson and Martin because they both write Fantasy books.

Just pull it up on map quest or something and show her where it is, if you haven't already. 

[+Sorana she/her]

I wanted to reread the whole SA this summer and then realized that that will have to wait a few months. I lent them to my parents (a few months ago) and they are really slow readers. So I think I'll listen to them again...

[Draginon he/him]

6 hours ago, AngelEy3 said:

Just pull it up on map quest or something and show her where it is, if you haven't already. 

I did that, she was still confused and argumentative about it. What makes it harder is she wants to stay at a hotel nearby but all the close are on the other side of the highway so we have to drive there no matter which hotel she decides on. Sometimes it feels like she argues just for the sake of arguing and I wasn't in the mood for that because I was getting a headache and trying to get ready for bed.

[AngelEy3 he/him]

1 hour ago, Draginon said:

I did that, she was still confused and argumentative about it. What makes it harder is she wants to stay at a hotel nearby but all the close are on the other side of the highway so we have to drive there no matter which hotel she decides on. Sometimes it feels like she argues just for the sake of arguing and I wasn't in the mood for that because I was getting a headache and trying to get ready for bed.

Reminds me of the time that my friend's now wife set up fittings for the wedding party wear. She made the appointment for the location in Maplewood and then told us all that it was at the location in Woodbury, 10 miles away. Then, in bride fashion, acted like the text messages we all received from her didn't have the wrong place in them. 

[Draginon he/him]

On 8/12/2018 at 8:20 AM, AngelEy3 said:

Reminds me of the time that my friend's now wife set up fittings for the wedding party wear. She made the appointment for the location in Maplewood and then told us all that it was at the location in Woodbury, 10 miles away. Then, in bride fashion, acted like the text messages we all received from her didn't have the wrong place in them. 

I think that's called being a compulsive liar since denying physical evidence like that is a sign of it. My mom does that type of stuff all the time to me where we'll need to get somewhere and when I do the short route for her she acts like we took the scenic route or if we're going somewhere and there's unavoidable traffic with no way around she acts like I put us there on purpose. Heck the other week we went to drop something off to my dad since he was in town and she wanted to do dinner, so I'm following her directions since I don't know the area that well, get lost following her directions and it's apparently my fault we went the wrong way when I was the one who kept asking 'wouldn't this way work better?' I've actually looked it up and what she does to me in those situations is known as toxic parenting. She tries to do it to my sister but she's having none of it.

She finally believes that the outlet I said was right is correct and booked a hotel near there.

Edit: Oh yeah, another annoying thing my mom does is always making excuses, or never accusing, for people who have mental disorders, or just appear to have one but don't, when they do something that would get a non-mental disordered person in deep rust. Like this one guy who sometimes comes to help us definitely has something wrong with him but when he messes up on stuff she never gets mad at him or blames someone else. One example is her complaining constantly about this part holding the cord for the vacuum being broken and he was the last one to use it before it broke but she refuses to blame him and instead continues to blame the tech department. Isn't it considered wrong to give any group of people special treatment like that? I mean I'm all for forgiving people but when someone does something wrong and no one blames them then I have a problem with it.

Edited August 13, 2018 by Draginon
Not wanting to double post

[I think I am here. he/him]

I'm hungry.

Aaaaaah I'm so hungry.

aaaaaaa

wait. I just remembered I got food.

Will update you later.

EDIT: Best sandwich I’ve ever had. Still a bit hungry, though.

Edited August 14, 2018 by I think I am here.

[Draginon he/him]

5 hours ago, I think I am here. said:

I'm hungry.

Aaaaaah I'm so hungry.

aaaaaaa

wait. I just remembered I got food.

Will update you later.

EDIT: Best sandwich I’ve ever had. Still a bit hungry, though.

Hello Lift

[Draginon he/him]

Whenever my mom gets an email from Disney Cruise giving an update on the reservation status she automatically assumes it's telling her it's time to start booking excursions and stuff even though it's not available until October! And when I tell her she refuses to believe me until she logs in and sees it's not available yet. Why would I even lie about something like that???

[+Sorana she/her]

@Draginon

I don't know your mother, or you, so I can't really offer a good piece of advice. But I felt like I should reply, so here it is:

Mothers are complicated. I had huge problems with mine, and sometimes we weren't even able to have a normal conversation for weeks. But after I moved out and a few years later got married, that changed. We get alone more or less fine right now. It's still exhausting and she annoys me often, but I always remind myself, that she means well. She is just a different person and she likes to controll everything - including myself. And no matter how old I get, I'll always be her little girl. I know she gave up a lot to have children and although she can be annoying I try to keep that to myself, to take time for her. She is my mother and I repect and love her deeply despite all what happend. What I try to say is, that although your relationship is difficult right now, it can change in the future. Just don't give up.
 

Edited August 17, 2018 by Sorana
Typo

[Draginon he/him]

@Sorana Well it's not just me who has a difficult relationship with her, my sister, and at times my dad, have trouble with her. When my sister was young it was typical 'that woman's driving me crazy' but as she got older she started noticing it was more than that. When both my grandparents died she just got worse to the point that she's pretty much an obvious toxic parent at this point.

I had looked up toxic parenting recently on YouTube and it just clicked with her behavior but to check I shared it with my sister and she agreed with me.  There's stuff now that I recognize in the toxic parenting I remember her doing to me.

1. She's always doing stuff to make me feel like I'm an idiot, she finds fault in everything I do (like last night I brought our leftovers in but then she had me get her purse from the car and then I go change into my pjs. She's on the phone paying bills by this point so I'm thinking she put the food away but apparently she thought I'd be able to put it away while I was running to the garage and changing out of my work clothes but it apparently wasn't important enough to put away before doing bills. It would've been different if I set the food in the kitchen then went off to do my own thing but she sent me to get something for her so you'd think she'd be doing the courtesy of putting the food away)

2. When in public she treats me like I'm retarded, forgive me for the term since I know many find it offensive but it's the most appropriate, but in private she doesn't (she'll do it with me in earshot of her!) edit: Forgot to mention this: She didn't start doing this until it became 'trendy' to be a parent of a disabled person, before that it was just lying about my age so she could get tickets and stuff cheaper so that grew to me hating people thinking I'm younger than I am, even as a compliment. I know that's petty of me but when someone continuously lies about their child's age just to save a couple bucks that's just wrong to me.

3. Her reactions to everything has made me too afraid to talk to her about anything that isn't frivolous

4. She's always going on about how I don't assign myself stuff at work but when I do she finds what she's doing is more important (the other day I was trying to get an inventory count update going but she took me away from that to help her grab a few books off the shelf that were well within her limits to do alone and over a year ago I was putting some shelves together and I needed an extra hand to keep things balanced so it didn't fall apart and when I asked her for help she refused to even listen to me and tried to control the entire process even though I only needed her to hold two pieces together while I hammered a third into place so I just up and left to get some stuff done in the inventory system)

5. She never listens to me when I tell her I don't need help with something and ignores me to help me when I don't need or want it (to put in context it'd be like ignoring a handicap person after they've said they don't need help grabbing something off the shelf at the store and proceeding to help anyway)

6. I always have to accommodate her but she doesn't give me the same courtesy, pretty much it means if she wants something I have to go to her but if I want something I have to go to her even if I'm in a position where I can't go to her right then

7. If I want to try something new she somehow thinks it's a conspiracy against her and tries to talk me out of it or she thinks this one thing I'm not interested in interests me (I like history but not war stories so whenever a WWII film comes out she thinks I'd rather see that than the new Disney movie despite me telling her multiple times I hate those type of movies unless there's an interesting angle like Wonder Woman in WW1 or Captain America/Indiana Jones in WWII)

8. Playing the victim card is another thing she does. Like I'll be doing something like opening a box and she'll just reach in 'to help' and get a cut just to make me the bad guy. Heck the other day I was opening one of her boxes of Atkins shakes for her and just as I was getting the one flap up she just reaches in and cuts herself on purpose on the cardboard and then expects an apology for it. She does this so many times I refuse to give her the satisfaction unlike it really is my fault. She even does this to my sister, like a few years ago for Christmas my mom was apparently trying to make the holiday miserable since she refused to stay at my sister's house and thus wasted money on a hotel that was pretty far from her house. Then she invited us over to meet her boyfriends family for Christmas Eve and my mom refused because 'she'd been sick the whole trip' which I know wasn't true because I'd been with her the whole trip, including a visit to Disneyland, and she didn't show any signs of being sick at all, so I went to be polite while my mom stayed at the hotel by herself. Then on Christmas Day itself she really showed she'd rather not be around at my sister's place to meet her boyfriends family because we arrived in the morning and the only person there from his family was his mom, she's a lovely woman, and she barely stayed an hour before announcing she wanted to go to grandpas grave. I had already gone the day we arrived so I didn't want to go and my sister offered to go just to make sure she didn't spend the entire day there and be back for dinner and presents. My mom refused because my sister's offer was 'rude and insensitive' so she drove off. Didn't see her again until after we all had eaten dinner and only came by to say she was heading back to the hotel. I stayed for a few more hours and my sister drove me back to the hotel and she wanted to spend some time with mom even if it was to open one present. Oh no, she was so cranky and took the whole thing as 'she cares so little she only wants to spend one minute with her poor sick mother'. Oh and because she spent the whole day at the grave she really did get sick. She told her side of the events to my dad later on and when he and I were alone I told him what really happened and she didn't tell him the whole story and told the grave part like that was the first chance we had to go there, which opened his eyes on the situation. Oh and one of the presents my sister got for her? She exchanged it for the exact same item as soon as we got back! Now that's rude! Because of her whole attitude my sister doesn't talk to her much anymore and I try to keep in contact because she'd not know our plans when we come home for Christmas so that she can figure out when to see us based off her schedule since she has her own life and makes plans to meet friends for Christmas stuff and my mom sees it as my sister not caring enough because she doesn't cancel everything to spend every minute with us.

9. This is minor compared to the others but it's being deprived of food sometimes. It's one thing to skip lunch of your own accord because you're busy but it's another when someone else makes that choice for you. I've also had a few weekends where she wants to go out and do stuff and I don't get to eat anything until dinner, anywhere between 5pm-8pm, so you can imagine how hungry and cranky I'd be getting by then and yet she acts like I'm being cranky for no reason.

And those are just the points I remember that indicated a toxic parent and the video had about 12 indicators. Heck the way she's treated me has put me into suicidal moments and a mild case of depression since I wasn't in the position to have any other people to support me but I've since found a great girl, it's long distance at this point since we're on different continents, and I know if I get together I'm severing ties with my mother since there are some relationships that can't be fixed. If someone tries to say 'blood is thicker than water' then they should know the full quote is 'blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb' meaning the people you choose to be with who make you happy are better for you than your family who makes you miserable.

Edited August 18, 2018 by Draginon
Forgot a detail

[+Sorana she/her]

@Draginon

Have you thought about looking for professional help?
If she is has what you looked up, then you'll need and even if she hasn't maybe a neutral party could clear the situation. What you describe doesn't sound good, it sounds really bad actually, so maybe you have reached a point where you can't solve it on your own anymore.

But aside from all of this: *hugs*
If you need an open ear, just write something.

[Draginon he/him]

@Sorana

I have but the one time (it involved having full control of my bank account which I got back in high school and she had to be on it because I was a minor) I did try with a semi-neutral party she turned it against me. Her attitude is what's making me want to do a sabbatical so I can get away from her on my own terms (you have no idea how many times I've tried to do something on my own while she was doing her own thing and she tagged along anyway because she doesn't trust me to be on my own at all. Heck the first time I went to a fan convention, it was for Doctor Who, and I stayed a little late at the video room and she was rushing trying to find me because I 'might've been kidnapped' instead of, you know, having a little fun with other fans over a video?)

My dad's even talked with me of him possibly divorcing her because of her attitude and wanted me to mention it but I wasn't going to be in the middle of that since that's his business with her. He's always telling me to get through it and things will get better but I'm just at the end of my rope. Heck for Christmas vacation I was looking at doing this one shore excursion for myself while she goes to this one place she wants to go and she's thinking of joining me for it. It's like she doesn't get the hint that I wanted to do it for me (hint as in "I was thinking of this for myself"), not all of us.

I pretty much do my venting to my girlfriend, and sometimes to my sister via text, since she's understanding and makes me feel better.

[+Sorana she/her]

@Draginon

It's good you have someone to talk to.

And definitly don't involve yourself in the whole divorce discussion. My parents tries both to get me on their side and in the end thy went to a lawyer who wrote down when we kids had to visit whom and when we had to leave and so on. It ended with my six-year-old self looking after my three year-old brother while our parents screamed at each other.

I wish you, that the whole situation resolved itself at least so far, that it doesn't bothers you so much anymore. And that you find a way to live your life despite all of this.