Elithanathile Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 So, I was a PM in a SE game, and I realized that what we really need are some good ol' cosmere death threats! Here's the one I used in the PM: Quote I will personally unleash Nightblood on you, soulcast your clothes into fire, then reverse your gravity so that your stomach will literally be in your throat, then impale you with your spare change, and THEN use your blood to make a soulstamp. And then use said soulstamp on your dog/cat/insert-beloved-pet-here. So feel free to post any that seem particularly... creative... to you here! "Kill you so hard that you seem lifeless to a Lifeless" (Not one of my better ones) "Kill you, and then force Endowment to bring you back so I can kill you again." "Soulcast you into a dart board, so that every time I stick a knife into it, I don't have to imagine it's your face." These are just some starting ones, so go crazy! (NotLiterallyPleaseDon'tHurtMe) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUQ Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 I will summon an Everstorm to knock over your house, then I will run towards a group of Parshendi archers applying a reverse lashing to you. I will then force you to listen to all of Lopen's jokes, after which I will jam three Hemalurgic spikes into your miserable body. When all this is finished, I will make you lifeless and do it again three times over. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arrae Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 I've always wondered if I could Riot someone into killing themself. Now I'll get to find out. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenod Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 I'll get you turned into an incomplete Elantrian and then torture you until you turn into a Hoed. After that I'll fix Elantris so you get healed, and then I'll break it again so I can repeat the whole process. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elithanathile Posted October 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 I'll wait until a highstorm, then throw you into a chasm and sit back as the chasmfiends rip you to pieces. Leave you in a room with Taln for a week. I'll just go ahead and give Tonk Fah a call then... I hear the inquisitors are looking for new meat. Insinuate to Sadeas that you might possibly have thought about doing something to get in his way. Leave you in Kharbranth's slums with a cold. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djarskublar Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 I will lock you in a room with Shallan for a week. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stick. Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 I'll Ruin your life so bad you'll end up more depressed than Kaladin 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted October 3, 2016 Popular Post Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 Let me tell Kelsier how noble you are. 19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elithanathile Posted October 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 I would just like to note that SansSparkles posts, and gets 6 upvotes within a matter of hours. Everyone else is still at zero upvotes. Welcome to the shard. I'll tell Breeze you stole his wine. Soul stamp you so hard you'll think you're a table! Push you in between one of Vin and Elend's cuddle sessions. (They totally have those.) Frame you for taking Wayne's lucky hat. (He killed the last guy that did that, remember?) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightness Enna Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) On 10/1/2016 at 9:27 PM, Arraenae said: I've always wondered if I could Riot someone into killing themself. Now I'll get to find out. Knives work just as well on Roshar as they do on Earth. In response to quote: very minor Dark Talent spoiler That reminds me of the Shamefiller's lenses. Essentially guilt something into exploding. Love it. Edited October 3, 2016 by Brightness Enna love you, spoiler tag craziness 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbonator Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 Up next on the "I'll lock you in a room" series: I'll lock you in a room full of whitespines. I'll tie you up, then lock you in a room full of carnivorous cremlings. Miscellaneous: I'll take you to the Cognitive Realm and introduce you to some painspren (for those who don't know, they are quite dangerous in the CR, and the locals call them grinders, I believe). When I'm done with you, you'll be buried in gloomspren. What is lerasium's Hemalurgic use? Well, let's test it on you and find out! I'll get Harmony to Shatter just so he can Ruin you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 Do you think you'll Return when you die? Wanna find out? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbonator Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 Do you bleed have Breath? You won't. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mestiv Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 I'll send a Shade to hug you. You deserve a hight five from a Shade. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbonator Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 I'll have Wax tap all his weight and sit on you. I'll also have Wayne nearby to make some joke about your death. Then that joke will be engraved on your tombstone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) I'll tell Adolin you considered thinking about maybe even possibly insulting Dalinar's sanity. Spoiler Edited October 3, 2016 by Assassin in Burgundy 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 I knew someone called Shasharra. She made a sword. Do you want to to- Once upon a time lived a young boy called Kaladin. He became a slave. FATHER NO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arrae Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 Your blood looks so beautiful when I look at it with the Breath I you gave me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 On 2 October 2016 at 7:53 PM, I_am_a_Stick said: I'll Ruin your life so bad you'll end up more depressed than Kaladin Thats not nice to people with depression. I can't quite articulate why but Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stick. Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) 49 minutes ago, Delightful said: Thats not nice to people with depression. I can't quite articulate why but Apologies to anyone offended by it. It wasn't meant to be more than a joke Edited October 7, 2016 by I_am_a_Stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 8, 2016 Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 23 hours ago, Delightful said: Thats not nice to people with depression. I can't quite articulate why but pssst, it's a death threat thread. I think EVERYTHING here would be offensive XD Unless of course you are like me, when on the outside you pretend to be all lively and happy, when in-fact on the inside you are a withered corpse brought unto life, crying in a corner, in-secure. In which case ignore everything which I just said. A wise guy once said "kill everything before it kills you" *cough* mumbles sharder's name*cough*. I'm afraid you fall into that category. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 On 08/10/2016 at 0:30 PM, Darkness Ascendant said: pssst, it's a death threat thread. I think EVERYTHING here would be offensive XD Unless of course you are like me, when on the outside you pretend to be all lively and happy, when in-fact on the inside you are a withered corpse brought unto life, crying in a corner, in-secure. In which case ignore everything which I just said. A wise guy once said "kill everything before it kills you" *cough* mumbles sharder's name*cough*. I'm afraid you fall into that category. (There's a difference between silly 'insult' and actual offensiveness) yes! Kill all the things! *hugs withered corpse ans gives it a Groot flower* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted October 10, 2016 Report Share Posted October 10, 2016 12 hours ago, Delightful said: (There's a difference between silly 'insult' and actual offensiveness) yes! Kill all the things! *hugs withered corpse ans gives it a Groot flower* Of course of course....keep thinking of my offences as silly 'insults'....it will make everything sooo much easier....heh 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegatorgirl00 Posted October 11, 2016 Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 I know a nice tropical island you can spend the night on alone. It's called Patji. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elenion Posted October 11, 2016 Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 Kill you? I wouldn't do that. I'd just hand you Nightblood and watch. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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