Random Stuff VIII: The Admin Special

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Armed (ninja) waitresses sounds awesome, you should add those.

 

Plot Twist: These strange, ridiculous crimes actually ends up serving the plan of the big bad.

 

 

Or steal ideas with everyone being ok with it, like I stole Blood and Art from Lark...

 

Hmm….Whitelaw could use them to his advantage somehow….and that would be an added motivator for Susan to join the SCPD…..

[Edgedancer he/him]

THE SPOKESMAN-REVIEW

JUNE 11, 1943 

 

Spokane is now in the grip of the strangest gang of criminals yet seen. Where most ruffians target children of the wealthy and powerful, these kidnapped the daughter of local minister Charles Whitelaw. Once in their custody, Susan Whitelaw reported that their demands were no less strange than their methods.

 

"First they wanted me to use Father to get them close to the president," she said. "When I explained he couldn't do that, they asked for the state governor. Then the mayor. Then they asked what he could do, and I said he might be able to get them a free entree from the diner down the block." 

 

The gang did just that, feasting upon chicken fried steak and pecan pie in black domino masks and ski caps. Reverend Whitelaw watched them with a disapproving scowl; and when they finished, asked if that would be all. 

 

"From you, yeah," said the ringleader, and he led his band out the door. 

 

What followed was a rash of kidnappings, all of the children and spouses close to local ministers. Many diners are arming their waitresses. 

 

"We are not going to bow to the most ridiculous gang in the country," said the owner of one diner. "We're just not going to do that." 

Humanity's greatest need is food, thus this is the greatest crime

 

Hmm….Whitelaw could use them to his advantage somehow….and that would be an added motivator for Susan to join the SCPD…..

Behold, plotting in motion.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Now, do I show it, or not? Hm….maybe I'll just write it and see how it turns out….. 

[+Slowswift]

Because misery, in fact and indeed, prefers company:

 

[Delightful]

Because misery, in fact and indeed, prefers company:

NOOOOOOO

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Because misery, in fact and indeed, prefers company:

 

 

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED 

SLYTHERIN HOUSE CANNOT HANDLE THE FEELS

[+Slowswift]

...sorry?

[Kaymyth she/her]

Aww.  Poor George.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

George seems to be going out of his way to feel sad and depressed. To quote from a Jack Vance short story: "Sometimes I stand by the door and look into the darkness. Then I am reminded...what a precious commodity is so much misery."

Edited April 2, 2016 by Orlion Determined

[Kaymyth she/her]

Things That Are True:

 

1.  I <3 spring.

 

2.  I only have four more car payments left!

 

3.  In three weeks I will be at JordanCon.

 

4.  I have a ton of costume-making to do in those three weeks.

 

5.  Hancock Fabrics is going out of business.  The entire chain is liquidating  Is sad.

 

6.  I am about to go to my local Hancock Fabrics to get things before they are no more.

 

7.  We've been able to live almost entirely on leftover ham this past week.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Taking Kaymyth's advice, I hoarded quarters like Smaug hoarded gold. Months passed with no job, but I continued to hoard quarters. 

 

Then, I moved to an apartment complex….with machines that don't even accept quarters. 

 

So I went to a CoinStar. Now I have just over $100 to spend on things I need from Amazon. 

 

Best advice ever.  

[Edgedancer he/him]

Taking Kaymyth's advice, I hoarded quarters like Smaug hoarded gold. Months passed with no job, but I continued to hoard quarters. 

 

Then, I moved to an apartment complex….with machines that don't even accept quarters. 

 

So I went to a CoinStar. Now I have just over $100 to spend on things I need from Amazon. 

 

Best advice ever.

Right, I have a bottle that I put all my small coins in, at the end of each year that's always quite an amount gathered.

[Kaymyth she/her]

Taking Kaymyth's advice, I hoarded quarters like Smaug hoarded gold. Months passed with no job, but I continued to hoard quarters. 

 

Then, I moved to an apartment complex….with machines that don't even accept quarters. 

 

So I went to a CoinStar. Now I have just over $100 to spend on things I need from Amazon. 

 

Best advice ever.

 

 

 

What the heck do those laundry machines take, then?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

 

What the heck do those laundry machines take, then?

 

You have to go down to the rental office and buy a laundry card, which the machine will then read and use as payment. 

[Eki]

What if the laundry machine kept 5% of the clothes as payment?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

What if the laundry machine kept 5% of the clothes as payment?

 

Then I'd either go to a laundromat, or beat the machine in protest or something.  

[Eki]

Then I'd either go to a laundromat, or beat the machine in protest or something.

machines need clothes too you know!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

machines need clothes too you know!

 

No they don't. They're machines. They….

 

Unless….

 

Are you saying the Great Robotic Uprising has begun?  

[Orlion Blight he/him]

It began awhile back, even succeeded! We've merely been kept around for entertainment value.

[Eki]

Hey, all I'm saying is that you should be glad you get to keep 95% of those clothes! Our new Overlords truly are generous.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I used that Amazon card to order this shower curtain: 

 

 

Since the DMV here wants your out-of-state license, your birth certificate, your Social Security card, two proofs of address, and the Orb of Impossibility to transfer your license, I figured I could just use the shipping label. But, since it won't be here until the 21st, I ordered something small that'll arrive much sooner. 

 

 

I never thought I'd be one of those people who decorates their toilet.

[Zathoth]

I always imagine that sign being real, but obviously no muggles are going to try it.

 

It is genius

 

Same reason Harry Potter was written. Way easier to be a wizard in every day society when the muggles just thinks you are cosplaying.

 

Thats a book series I should write. First book is urban fantasy with a masquerade in place, second book is a fan of said book finding out that it is all true.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I always imagine that sign being real, but obviously no muggles are going to try it.

 

It is genius

 

Same reason Harry Potter was written. Way easier to be a wizard in every day society when the muggles just thinks you are cosplaying.

 

Thats a book series I should write. First book is urban fantasy with a masquerade in place, second book is a fan of said book finding out that it is all true.

 

I would read the heck out of that series.  

[Quiver he/him]

Isn't that part of the premise of the Darren Shan vampire books?

[Kaymyth she/her]

Oh, look.  Some random Greek dude just sent me a friend request on Facebook.  Hello, delete button!

 

 

You have to go down to the rental office and buy a laundry card, which the machine will then read and use as payment. 

 

Wow.  You kids these days and your newfangled technology.

 

machines need clothes too you know!

 

See, what happens is this:

 

The machine eats the occasional random sock and swallows it.  There is a tiny singularity at the back of the throat of each machine, and that sucks the sock in, where it is subjected to intense gravitational forces as it falls into the miniature black hole.  Those forces twist and change it into tangled clothes hangars.  The other end of the hole opens up into someone's closet, and that's where tangled clothes hangars come from.