Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Comp's been stuck in boot up sequence for a few hours now. Specifically, white wheel of death. Getting worried.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

3 hours ago, Oversleep said:

It could be heavy.

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I got into a big fight with my sister. Not sure whether I'll be detailing the whole thing (I am writing this on 2:42 am) but at the end I called out her chulldung with the 'bonding thing'. I'm 21, she's 26, we're way past that point. She's not gonna make all the previous years of being treated like a younger nuisance magically disappear! We never had a good bond so there's not much to work with in the first place. Push somebody away long enough and then act surprised they are not thrilled to get closer.
I mean, I've been trying, but all her 'attempts' are just plain irritating - remember when I posted here about her barging in my room in the middle of the night to eat? Forcing herself on me is her idea of bonding. And she's interested in my life too much and when I tell her off she gets offended.
Look... let's say we have a girl and a guy with crush on her but she doesn't want him. Hanging around her will not make her fall in love with the guy, it will just come off as creepy.

This has been a long fight, involved a lot of bad stuff, she slapped me, I returned the pleasure (a lot, lot, lot weaker and I've been precise to not hit the face, just around the ear - I may have given up 'not hitting women' in this case but I'm not gonna hurt anybody. Girl slaps a guy, nobody pays attention. Guy slaps a girl, it's monstrous. Why should she be allowed to use violence as an argument and I shouldn't pay back? If you hit somebody, be prepared to be hit back), we brought up a lot of stuff, I told her we're not gonna be some happy, close siblings and I think that could have been very heavy for her.

The scary thing is I did not even feel any particularly strong emotions during the while thing. I just wanted to get it over with.

---

Before the fight I intended to post something else here, as it was a bad day (cold, misty, buses not coming, trams breaking down with me inside, getting late to the uni, traffic jams, dropping things I intended to hold... like eggs... the list goes on) but now everything pales in comparision.

 

wow. That's alot like my sisters. but times 4. cos 4 sisters :/

[soyperson]

Felt sick all last night, and some this morning. 

Now I'm using my phone as a wi-fi hotspot so I can get on here and read my Mistborn books on my kindle cloud reader. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

On 10/7/2016 at 7:10 PM, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

My brother sent me a text while I was making dinner. 

Brother: Hey, I know you love your job, but a library here in Spokane is hiring a full-time librarian for [twice per month what I'm currently making, though he doesn't know that]. 
Me: Okay, I'll check it out. 
Brother: I won't tell Mom and Dad about the job if you don't want me to, but I'd love to have you close. 
Me: I'll take a look, but to be honest I don't think I could afford another big move right now. 
Brother: I know what you mean, but I'll bet Mom and Dad would probably pay for the move lol. 
Me: Lol yeah. 
[He mentions that he's looking for apartments, I ask where; he says he's looking in an area closer to work.]
Brother: Mom wants me to stay close to home, but I want at least a 20 minute buffer between me and Grandmother. 
[Grandmother makes it onto this thread far less frequently than Twimom, but mostly because she lives so far away that I hardly ever see her. Don't believe she's as bad as I think she is? I have stories.] 
Me: I thought she was moving to Idaho??? Why the lies????
Brother: That was her original plan, but the deal fell through, so she found a place about 5 minutes away from us. 

Well, I do admit I was tempted by the lure of a higher salary, but now that Twimom and Grandmother are living in the same town? 

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Nopetopus II:  the Nopening

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

14 minutes ago, Kaymyth said:

Nopetopus II:  the Nopening

Spoiler

Seriously. I had to not only mentally prepare for Grandmother's infrequent visits, but craft excuses to barricade myself in my room so I wouldn't get all stabby—and that was when she lived in Oregon and I lived in Arizona. If she's close enough that she could feasibly drop by unexpectedly, I don't know how I'd retain any semblance of sanity. That woman devours my introvert energy like a dementor devours happiness.

[soyperson]

So, one of my closest friends is going to a psychiatric hospital for a month because she has major anxiety and depression. She's my best friend's girlfriend, and one of my best friends, and I'm afraid that she'll be different when we get her back. She's always so  happy and funny, and I fear that when she comes back she won't be the person I know and have grown to love.

My best friend (her boyfriend) and I thought we could make a mixtape to send her, but I don't know. 

[Mistrunner]

1 hour ago, bleeder said:

So, one of my closest friends is going to a psychiatric hospital for a month because she has major anxiety and depression. She's my best friend's girlfriend, and one of my best friends, and I'm afraid that she'll be different when we get her back. She's always so  happy and funny, and I fear that when she comes back she won't be the person I know and have grown to love.

My best friend (her boyfriend) and I thought we could make a mixtape to send her, but I don't know. 

I'm sorry.  I'll be sending my prayers.

Send her the mixtape. It's always nice to get something personalized, no matter the circumstances. That's my advice, anyway.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

2 hours ago, bleeder said:

So, one of my closest friends is going to a psychiatric hospital for a month because she has major anxiety and depression. She's my best friend's girlfriend, and one of my best friends, and I'm afraid that she'll be different when we get her back. She's always so  happy and funny, and I fear that when she comes back she won't be the person I know and have grown to love.

My best friend (her boyfriend) and I thought we could make a mixtape to send her, but I don't know. 

That's got to be tough.  I'm not familiar with psychiatric hospitals, but I'm with Mistrunner on sending the mixtape. Is she allowed to contact anyone outside the hospital during her treatment? 

[soyperson]

Just now, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

That's got to be tough.  I'm not familiar with psychiatric hospitals, but I'm with Mistrunner on sending the mixtape. Is she allowed to contact anyone outside the hospital during her treatment? 

She won't have her phone because her mother is a terrible person and cut off her phone bill. Her mother isn't smothering and strict, she just doesn't put much effort into raising her child.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

11 minutes ago, bleeder said:

She won't have her phone because her mother is a terrible person and cut off her phone bill. Her mother isn't smothering and strict, she just doesn't put much effort into raising her child.

Well, that's awful of her.  Can your friend get snail mail? 

[soyperson]

4 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Well, that's awful of her.  Can your friend get snail mail? 

Yes. That's how I plan to get the mix to her, and maybe write her every now and then.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Just now, bleeder said:

Yes. That's how I plan to get the mix to her, and maybe write her every now and then.

Awesome. I'd say write her as often as you can. You may not be able to text or call her, but sometimes a letter can give a sense of permanence that a text can't. 

[soyperson]

2 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Awesome. I'd say write her as often as you can. You may not be able to text or call her, but sometimes a letter can give a sense of permanence that a text can't. 

I'll try to write her as often as I can. Thanks for the hugs, you guys. 

Edited October 11, 2016 by bleeder

[Mistrunner]

One of my friends from colorguard has a father and brother that can be physically abusive. I really want to do something but I feel so helpless. She's so fun and awesome and hilarious and she doesn't deserve this.

How can people be so base and heartless as to beat up on their own kid because the football team lost? How can someone stand to be the reason their kid has to cover up a black eye? There are few things that make me angrier than people who abuse their children.

But there's nothing I can do. And that's the worst part.

[Arrae]

30 minutes ago, Mistrunner said:

One of my friends from colorguard has a father and brother that can be physically abusive. I really want to do something but I feel so helpless. She's so fun and awesome and hilarious and she doesn't deserve this.

How can people be so base and heartless as to beat up on their own kid because the football team lost? How can someone stand to be the reason their kid has to cover up a black eye? There are few things that make me angrier than people who abuse their children.

But there's nothing I can do. And that's the worst part.

Can you report it?

[Delightful]

21 minutes ago, Arraenae said:

Can you report it?

Agreed. And if she doesn't hide a black eye etc, authorities will ask about it, she can get help. 

You can also be supportive of her and maybe ask your parents if she can stay at your place if she needs somewhere to run to?

[Erunion he/him]

@Mistrunner 'and there's nothing I can do': that's what every abuser, everywhere, wants everyone to believe. 

And it's usually false. 

How old are you? How old is your friend? What evidence of abuse do you have? 

Calling child protective services, especially if your friend is a minor, is something you absolutely can do. So is calling the police.

 

 

No one should have to live with abuse. No one should be afraid for their health and safety in their home and amongst their close family and friends. Abuse is a vile, disgusting thing that cannot be accepted or allowed to thrive in society. 

Do your parents know this friend? Would they be willing to provide temporary shelter? 

Crucially - would your friend be willing to write out a statement w.r.t the abuse?

 

Furthermore, is there an authority figure you both trust that you can take your friend to? (A school counsellor would be ideal, but a caring and trustworthy teacher, pastor or other authority figure may also be helpful). 

Note: if you do go to an authority figure, and they do NOT deal with this properly then be prepared yourself to go to the police. When you do, make sure you have written out all evidence in clear, concise details so you can effectively relay it to the police. 

 

 

I often volunteer as a cabin leader (counsellor) at a summer camp. As part of our training, we are informed and instructed that in addition to being morally obligated to deal with these things, which, I would argue, every human is, we (as cabin leaders, and in Canada - so the rules with you and where you are  may be different) have a legal obligation to report abuse, which is a crime that scars people for life, to the proper authorities.  

 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

2 hours ago, Arraenae said:

Can you report it?

Hmm, yes, see if you can compile any evidence you can. And convince your friend that it is the right thing to do, so she can testify.

[Arrae]

@Mistrunner, in the US, teachers and other school officials are required to report abuse. Even if you don't feel like there is anything you can do, you can let someone who can do something know what is happening.

[Kaymyth she/her]

13 hours ago, Mistrunner said:

One of my friends from colorguard has a father and brother that can be physically abusive. I really want to do something but I feel so helpless. She's so fun and awesome and hilarious and she doesn't deserve this.

How can people be so base and heartless as to beat up on their own kid because the football team lost? How can someone stand to be the reason their kid has to cover up a black eye? There are few things that make me angrier than people who abuse their children.

But there's nothing I can do. And that's the worst part.

What everyone else is saying - report it to your school guidance counselor. Or urge your friend to do it herself. Or both. School officials are required by law to report any evidence of abuse to the authorities.

[Mistrunner]

17 hours ago, Arraenae said:

Can you report it?

17 hours ago, Delightful said:

Agreed. And if she doesn't hide a black eye etc, authorities will ask about it, she can get help. 

You can also be supportive of her and maybe ask your parents if she can stay at your place if she needs somewhere to run to?

16 hours ago, Erunion said:

@Mistrunner 'and there's nothing I can do': that's what every abuser, everywhere, wants everyone to believe. 

And it's usually false. 

How old are you? How old is your friend? What evidence of abuse do you have? 

Calling child protective services, especially if your friend is a minor, is something you absolutely can do. So is calling the police.

 

 

No one should have to live with abuse. No one should be afraid for their health and safety in their home and amongst their close family and friends. Abuse is a vile, disgusting thing that cannot be accepted or allowed to thrive in society. 

Do your parents know this friend? Would they be willing to provide temporary shelter? 

Crucially - would your friend be willing to write out a statement w.r.t the abuse?

 

Furthermore, is there an authority figure you both trust that you can take your friend to? (A school counsellor would be ideal, but a caring and trustworthy teacher, pastor or other authority figure may also be helpful). 

Note: if you do go to an authority figure, and they do NOT deal with this properly then be prepared yourself to go to the police. When you do, make sure you have written out all evidence in clear, concise details so you can effectively relay it to the police. 

 

 

I often volunteer as a cabin leader (counsellor) at a summer camp. As part of our training, we are informed and instructed that in addition to being morally obligated to deal with these things, which, I would argue, every human is, we (as cabin leaders, and in Canada - so the rules with you and where you are  may be different) have a legal obligation to report abuse, which is a crime that scars people for life, to the proper authorities.  

 

6 hours ago, Arraenae said:

@Mistrunner, in the US, teachers and other school officials are required to report abuse. Even if you don't feel like there is anything you can do, you can let someone who can do something know what is happening.

4 hours ago, Kaymyth said:

What everyone else is saying - report it to your school guidance counselor. Or urge your friend to do it herself. Or both. School officials are required by law to report any evidence of abuse to the authorities.

I'll see what I can do.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

There's this store near me called Tradesmart. It is going out of business. This saddens me, as it was one stop shopping remotely nerd related.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Found more fleas on Bruce. Great Noodly One, I'm so ready for this to be over.  

[Briar King he/him]

Well we have had some early cool snaps compared to normal so hopefully it ll keep up and they ll die sooner then. 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Australian weather. I hate you, let's cap it here.

3 days ago it was hot

2 days ago it was cold

yesterday it was chilly in the morning and quickly became sweltering in the arvo

today was hot, but it's getting cooler 

tomorrow it will probs rain.