Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

14 minutes ago, Kaymyth said:

Nopetopus II:  the Nopening

Spoiler

Seriously. I had to not only mentally prepare for Grandmother's infrequent visits, but craft excuses to barricade myself in my room so I wouldn't get all stabby—and that was when she lived in Oregon and I lived in Arizona. If she's close enough that she could feasibly drop by unexpectedly, I don't know how I'd retain any semblance of sanity. That woman devours my introvert energy like a dementor devours happiness.

[marsoupial they/them]

So, one of my closest friends is going to a psychiatric hospital for a month because she has major anxiety and depression. She's my best friend's girlfriend, and one of my best friends, and I'm afraid that she'll be different when we get her back. She's always so  happy and funny, and I fear that when she comes back she won't be the person I know and have grown to love.

My best friend (her boyfriend) and I thought we could make a mixtape to send her, but I don't know. 

[Mistrunner]

1 hour ago, bleeder said:

So, one of my closest friends is going to a psychiatric hospital for a month because she has major anxiety and depression. She's my best friend's girlfriend, and one of my best friends, and I'm afraid that she'll be different when we get her back. She's always so  happy and funny, and I fear that when she comes back she won't be the person I know and have grown to love.

My best friend (her boyfriend) and I thought we could make a mixtape to send her, but I don't know. 

I'm sorry.  I'll be sending my prayers.

Send her the mixtape. It's always nice to get something personalized, no matter the circumstances. That's my advice, anyway.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

2 hours ago, bleeder said:

So, one of my closest friends is going to a psychiatric hospital for a month because she has major anxiety and depression. She's my best friend's girlfriend, and one of my best friends, and I'm afraid that she'll be different when we get her back. She's always so  happy and funny, and I fear that when she comes back she won't be the person I know and have grown to love.

My best friend (her boyfriend) and I thought we could make a mixtape to send her, but I don't know. 

That's got to be tough.  I'm not familiar with psychiatric hospitals, but I'm with Mistrunner on sending the mixtape. Is she allowed to contact anyone outside the hospital during her treatment? 

[marsoupial they/them]

Just now, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

That's got to be tough.  I'm not familiar with psychiatric hospitals, but I'm with Mistrunner on sending the mixtape. Is she allowed to contact anyone outside the hospital during her treatment? 

She won't have her phone because her mother is a terrible person and cut off her phone bill. Her mother isn't smothering and strict, she just doesn't put much effort into raising her child.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

11 minutes ago, bleeder said:

She won't have her phone because her mother is a terrible person and cut off her phone bill. Her mother isn't smothering and strict, she just doesn't put much effort into raising her child.

Well, that's awful of her.  Can your friend get snail mail? 

[marsoupial they/them]

4 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Well, that's awful of her.  Can your friend get snail mail? 

Yes. That's how I plan to get the mix to her, and maybe write her every now and then.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Just now, bleeder said:

Yes. That's how I plan to get the mix to her, and maybe write her every now and then.

Awesome. I'd say write her as often as you can. You may not be able to text or call her, but sometimes a letter can give a sense of permanence that a text can't. 

[marsoupial they/them]

2 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Awesome. I'd say write her as often as you can. You may not be able to text or call her, but sometimes a letter can give a sense of permanence that a text can't. 

I'll try to write her as often as I can. Thanks for the hugs, you guys. 

Edited October 11, 2016 by bleeder

[Mistrunner]

One of my friends from colorguard has a father and brother that can be physically abusive. I really want to do something but I feel so helpless. She's so fun and awesome and hilarious and she doesn't deserve this.

How can people be so base and heartless as to beat up on their own kid because the football team lost? How can someone stand to be the reason their kid has to cover up a black eye? There are few things that make me angrier than people who abuse their children.

But there's nothing I can do. And that's the worst part.

[Arraenae]

30 minutes ago, Mistrunner said:

One of my friends from colorguard has a father and brother that can be physically abusive. I really want to do something but I feel so helpless. She's so fun and awesome and hilarious and she doesn't deserve this.

How can people be so base and heartless as to beat up on their own kid because the football team lost? How can someone stand to be the reason their kid has to cover up a black eye? There are few things that make me angrier than people who abuse their children.

But there's nothing I can do. And that's the worst part.

Can you report it?

[Delightful]

21 minutes ago, Arraenae said:

Can you report it?

Agreed. And if she doesn't hide a black eye etc, authorities will ask about it, she can get help. 

You can also be supportive of her and maybe ask your parents if she can stay at your place if she needs somewhere to run to?

[Erunion he/him]

@Mistrunner 'and there's nothing I can do': that's what every abuser, everywhere, wants everyone to believe. 

And it's usually false. 

How old are you? How old is your friend? What evidence of abuse do you have? 

Calling child protective services, especially if your friend is a minor, is something you absolutely can do. So is calling the police.

 

 

No one should have to live with abuse. No one should be afraid for their health and safety in their home and amongst their close family and friends. Abuse is a vile, disgusting thing that cannot be accepted or allowed to thrive in society. 

Do your parents know this friend? Would they be willing to provide temporary shelter? 

Crucially - would your friend be willing to write out a statement w.r.t the abuse?

 

Furthermore, is there an authority figure you both trust that you can take your friend to? (A school counsellor would be ideal, but a caring and trustworthy teacher, pastor or other authority figure may also be helpful). 

Note: if you do go to an authority figure, and they do NOT deal with this properly then be prepared yourself to go to the police. When you do, make sure you have written out all evidence in clear, concise details so you can effectively relay it to the police. 

 

 

I often volunteer as a cabin leader (counsellor) at a summer camp. As part of our training, we are informed and instructed that in addition to being morally obligated to deal with these things, which, I would argue, every human is, we (as cabin leaders, and in Canada - so the rules with you and where you are  may be different) have a legal obligation to report abuse, which is a crime that scars people for life, to the proper authorities.  

 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

2 hours ago, Arraenae said:

Can you report it?

Hmm, yes, see if you can compile any evidence you can. And convince your friend that it is the right thing to do, so she can testify.

[Arraenae]

@Mistrunner, in the US, teachers and other school officials are required to report abuse. Even if you don't feel like there is anything you can do, you can let someone who can do something know what is happening.

[Kaymyth she/her]

13 hours ago, Mistrunner said:

One of my friends from colorguard has a father and brother that can be physically abusive. I really want to do something but I feel so helpless. She's so fun and awesome and hilarious and she doesn't deserve this.

How can people be so base and heartless as to beat up on their own kid because the football team lost? How can someone stand to be the reason their kid has to cover up a black eye? There are few things that make me angrier than people who abuse their children.

But there's nothing I can do. And that's the worst part.

What everyone else is saying - report it to your school guidance counselor. Or urge your friend to do it herself. Or both. School officials are required by law to report any evidence of abuse to the authorities.

[Mistrunner]

17 hours ago, Arraenae said:

Can you report it?

17 hours ago, Delightful said:

Agreed. And if she doesn't hide a black eye etc, authorities will ask about it, she can get help. 

You can also be supportive of her and maybe ask your parents if she can stay at your place if she needs somewhere to run to?

16 hours ago, Erunion said:

@Mistrunner 'and there's nothing I can do': that's what every abuser, everywhere, wants everyone to believe. 

And it's usually false. 

How old are you? How old is your friend? What evidence of abuse do you have? 

Calling child protective services, especially if your friend is a minor, is something you absolutely can do. So is calling the police.

 

 

No one should have to live with abuse. No one should be afraid for their health and safety in their home and amongst their close family and friends. Abuse is a vile, disgusting thing that cannot be accepted or allowed to thrive in society. 

Do your parents know this friend? Would they be willing to provide temporary shelter? 

Crucially - would your friend be willing to write out a statement w.r.t the abuse?

 

Furthermore, is there an authority figure you both trust that you can take your friend to? (A school counsellor would be ideal, but a caring and trustworthy teacher, pastor or other authority figure may also be helpful). 

Note: if you do go to an authority figure, and they do NOT deal with this properly then be prepared yourself to go to the police. When you do, make sure you have written out all evidence in clear, concise details so you can effectively relay it to the police. 

 

 

I often volunteer as a cabin leader (counsellor) at a summer camp. As part of our training, we are informed and instructed that in addition to being morally obligated to deal with these things, which, I would argue, every human is, we (as cabin leaders, and in Canada - so the rules with you and where you are  may be different) have a legal obligation to report abuse, which is a crime that scars people for life, to the proper authorities.  

 

6 hours ago, Arraenae said:

@Mistrunner, in the US, teachers and other school officials are required to report abuse. Even if you don't feel like there is anything you can do, you can let someone who can do something know what is happening.

4 hours ago, Kaymyth said:

What everyone else is saying - report it to your school guidance counselor. Or urge your friend to do it herself. Or both. School officials are required by law to report any evidence of abuse to the authorities.

I'll see what I can do.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

There's this store near me called Tradesmart. It is going out of business. This saddens me, as it was one stop shopping remotely nerd related.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Found more fleas on Bruce. Great Noodly One, I'm so ready for this to be over.  

[Briar King]

Well we have had some early cool snaps compared to normal so hopefully it ll keep up and they ll die sooner then. 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Australian weather. I hate you, let's cap it here.

3 days ago it was hot

2 days ago it was cold

yesterday it was chilly in the morning and quickly became sweltering in the arvo

today was hot, but it's getting cooler 

tomorrow it will probs rain.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

15 minutes ago, Dankness Ascendant said:

Australian weather. I hate you, let's cap it here.

3 days ago it was hot

2 days ago it was cold

yesterday it was chilly in the morning and quickly became sweltering in the arvo

today was hot, but it's getting cooler 

tomorrow it will probs rain.

Heh, sounds like Colorado in the mountains. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

11 hours ago, Briar King said:

Well we have had some early cool snaps compared to normal so hopefully it ll keep up and they ll die sooner then. 

Yeah, it looks like they're coming from outside, not inside, so that seems to bode well. 

[marsoupial they/them]

7 hours ago, Dankness Ascendant said:

Australian weather. I hate you, let's cap it here.

3 days ago it was hot

2 days ago it was cold

yesterday it was chilly in the morning and quickly became sweltering in the arvo

today was hot, but it's getting cooler 

tomorrow it will probs rain.

That's how it is here too. It rained for a full three days non stop this past weekend, then it was brisk and chilly, then hot then cold again. 

Jesus, weather, make up your mind. I know teenage girls less indecisive than this.

And... arvo?

Edited October 12, 2016 by bleeder

[Delightful]

3 hours ago, bleeder said:

That's how it is here too. It rained for a full three days non stop this past weekend, then it was brisk and chilly, then hot then cold again. 

Jesus, weather, make up your mind. I know teenage girls less indecisive than this.

And... arvo?

Arvo is anytime between about 2pm and 11pm. It's sort of shortened 'evening' but also means afternoon.