Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Sunbird she/her]

@Aonar Faileas I think you made the right decision by quitting. If you can't rely on the supervisors and management to keep their promises or to treat you like an actual human being with a life outside of your job, then I don't think the money is worth the stress of working there. If they keep treating their employees like crem as you've described, they won't be in business for the long-term anyway because they'll drive the good workers away.

[Oversleep]

Nosebleed season! Pretending that I overused my psychic powers is getting old.

Explanation: (cold = heating up the house = dry air) + my nose is always running 'cause allergy. Having a messed up nasal septum probably doesn't help.

For the past week I've been sick and wiping my nose all the time so it probably strained blood vessels and I am bleeding the third time today :/

P.S. Coincidentally, I'm writing an article about Hemalurgy...

Edited October 16, 2016 by Oversleep

[marsoupial they/them]

2 hours ago, Oversleep said:

Nosebleed season! Pretending that I overused my psychic powers is getting old.

Explanation: (cold = heating up the house = dry air) + my nose is always running 'cause allergy. Having a messed up nasal septum probably doesn't help.

For the past week I've been sick and wiping my nose all the time so it probably strained blood vessels and I am bleeding the third time today :/

P.S. Coincidentally, I'm writing an article about Hemalurgy...

Sheesh. And I thought I was the bleeder around here.

I apologize. My bad puns just couldn't help themselves. 

But, in all seriousness, to stop nosebleeds. 

You know that weird part of your mouth in front of your gums, where there's almost like a little pocket up there? 

Take a little piece of toilet paper or paper towel, ball it up into a little bitty ball, and just keep it there, on whichever side is bleeding. I know it sounds crazy but trust me. I'm a guy who knows his blood. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

7 hours ago, Oversleep said:

Nosebleed season! Pretending that I overused my psychic powers is getting old.

Explanation: (cold = heating up the house = dry air) + my nose is always running 'cause allergy. Having a messed up nasal septum probably doesn't help.

For the past week I've been sick and wiping my nose all the time so it probably strained blood vessels and I am bleeding the third time today :/

P.S. Coincidentally, I'm writing an article about Hemalurgy...

Humidifiers are your friends!

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

I hate new shoes. Particularly leather school ones. 

Today I wore new leather school shoes.

And now my left foot is now a regiblister. And almost all the skin on the back of my right foot has been rubbed off.

Come on! I don't buy shoes to harm my feet, I buy them to protect my feet! Imma put this in pet peeves as well.

[Delightful]

I am so sick of apartment hunting I literally just don't wanna anymore can somewhere perfect please just fall out of the sky and the keys land in my hands because my brain is so fried and I need somewhere to live in the next fortnight UNIVERSE HELP ME PLEASE.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

I just learned that a friend of mine cuts herself. I've started looking into things I know she enjoys(hiking) so that she'd have a reliable way of being able to enjoy herself. I've also created a gdoc so that she can have a reliable way to talk and vent without texting. Beyond that though, I'm not sure what to do. I've never had someone trust me enough to tell me something like this, and I'm not sure this would be the proper time for sharing.

[marsoupial they/them]

1 hour ago, Silverblade5 said:

I just learned that a friend of mine cuts herself. I've started looking into things I know she enjoys(hiking) so that she'd have a reliable way of being able to enjoy herself. I've also created a gdoc so that she can have a reliable way to talk and vent without texting. Beyond that though, I'm not sure what to do. I've never had someone trust me enough to tell me something like this, and I'm not sure this would be the proper time for sharing.

An ex-girlfriend of mine cut herself. She did it out of stress and lack of self-worth and confidence. Just talk to her about it, gently, without being invasive, and if you approach a tender subject, back away and change the subject. 

Do you know why she does it?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

1 hour ago, Silverblade5 said:

I just learned that a friend of mine cuts herself. I've started looking into things I know she enjoys(hiking) so that she'd have a reliable way of being able to enjoy herself. I've also created a gdoc so that she can have a reliable way to talk and vent without texting. Beyond that though, I'm not sure what to do. I've never had someone trust me enough to tell me something like this, and I'm not sure this would be the proper time for sharing.

If she told you, that's a good sign. It means that 1) like you said, she trusts you and 2) she wants help, even if she may not be ready to seek counseling. Just listen to her. Don't press her for details, or try and get her to talk about it if she doesn't want to at that moment, but if she does, listen. Ask her how she's doing every day, and if she starts to confide her triumphs and failures ("I got upset at my mom and wrote in my journal instead of cutting," "I was clean for two days, but I did it again just now") encourage her triumphs and sympathize with her failures. Being there for her without judging may not sound like much, but it's exactly what she needs. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

13 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

If she told you, that's a good sign. It means that 1) like you said, she trusts you and 2) she wants help, even if she may not be ready to seek counseling. Just listen to her. Don't press her for details, or try and get her to talk about it if she doesn't want to at that moment, but if she does, listen. Ask her how she's doing every day, and if she starts to confide her triumphs and failures ("I got upset at my mom and wrote in my journal instead of cutting," "I was clean for two days, but I did it again just now") encourage her triumphs and sympathize with her failures. Being there for her without judging may not sound like much, but it's exactly what she needs. 

That's why I made the gdoc. Her parents check her texts, and at this point, I don't think them finding out from anyone but her would be helpful.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

12 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

That's why I made the gdoc. Her parents check her texts, and at this point, I don't think them finding out from anyone but her would be helpful.

Great Noodly One, they check her texts? Yeah, the Gdoc is a good idea, I think. I really, really hope they don't take the news badly—granted, it would be pretty scary to learn that your child was cutting, but if they overreact (which seems plausible, given how little respect they seem to have for her privacy) then they could easily make it ten times worse. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

The girl I was talking about, she ended up getting a panic attack on a bus ride to a marching band competition and tried to use texting to stay in control. Any advice on maintaining a text conversation? I can barely maintain one as is.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

2 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

The girl I was talking about, she ended up getting a panic attack on a bus ride to a marching band competition and tried to use texting to stay in control. Any advice on maintaining a text conversation? I can barely maintain one as is.

1) DO NOT ANSWER ANYTHING WITH "K." THIS IS AN INSTANT CONVERSATION-KILLER. 

2) Whenever possible, answer a question with a comment, and then a question. Like so: "I'm so scared right now." "It's going to be all right. Why are you scared?" 

3) If you don't know what to say, don't be afraid to say so. "I'm not sure what to say, but I'm here for you" isn't a bad reply at all. It shows that you care about the other person, even if you don't have any advice for their situation. 

4) Don't give advice unless she asks. 

5) If she changes the subject after a while, go with it. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

1 hour ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

1) DO NOT ANSWER ANYTHING WITH "K." THIS IS AN INSTANT CONVERSATION-KILLER. 

2) Whenever possible, answer a question with a comment, and then a question. Like so: "I'm so scared right now." "It's going to be all right. Why are you scared?" 

3) If you don't know what to say, don't be afraid to say so. "I'm not sure what to say, but I'm here for you" isn't a bad reply at all. It shows that you care about the other person, even if you don't have any advice for their situation. 

4) Don't give advice unless she asks. 

5) If she changes the subject after a while, go with it. 

Ok.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

2 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

Ok.

you mean K*

Anyway, perhaps you could find out why? I emphasise as finding the root problem will be a solution unto itself. For example, as Bleeder said, If she's doing it out of lack of self-worth and confidence, then perhaps you can instill that self-worth and confidence. Show her why life needs to be cherished. (Unless your me, then life is a constant annoyance). How old is she btw? If she's in her teens, then this is kinda understandable.

I know a few people who cut. Wait, nvm, their genuinely crazy. And "emo".

[Silverblade5 he/him]

6 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Great Noodly One, they check her texts? Yeah, the Gdoc is a good idea, I think. I really, really hope they don't take the news badly—granted, it would be pretty scary to learn that your child was cutting, but if they overreact (which seems plausible, given how little respect they seem to have for her privacy) then they could easily make it ten times worse. 

 

20 minutes ago, Dankness Ascendant said:

you mean K*

Anyway, perhaps you could find out why? I emphasise as finding the root problem will be a solution unto itself. For example, as Bleeder said, If she's doing it out of lack of self-worth and confidence, then perhaps you can instill that self-worth and confidence. Show her why life needs to be cherished. (Unless your me, then life is a constant annoyance). How old is she btw? If she's in her teens, then this is kinda understandable.

I know a few people who cut. Wait, nvm, their genuinely crazy. And "emo".

We just talked, and the reason appears to be a way to deal with fighting parents and a general outpouring of negativity. The cutting is happening in school bathrooms with a paperclip 

Edited October 18, 2016 by Silverblade5

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

13 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

 

We just talked, and the reason appears to be a way to deal with fighting parents and a general outpouring of negativity. The cutting is happening in school bathrooms with a paperclip 

Do you have anything similar to Kid's Helpline wherever you are? Those parents need a serious talking to, I doubt they realise what is happening to their child.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

4 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

We just talked, and the reason appears to be a way to deal with fighting parents and a general outpouring of negativity. The cutting is happening in school bathrooms with a paperclip 

It's not going to be an easy thing to stop. Having her parents stop their fighting would be an enormous help, but there are probably other reasons for the cutting, beyond the surface ones she's able to identify. She'll need to find a new way to cope with her pain and anxiety, plus break the habit of self-injury. All of this is to say, don't become frustrated if you don't see results soon. Cutting is a complex problem, and it takes time and patience to solve. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Alright, more details. The cutting is her way of dealing with panic attacks. These normally come from her parents fighting, as a while back, she'd have to stop it from getting physical. Her mom usually starts it while her dad has a short temper. Both try to get her involved, trying to get her to take their side while accusing her of taking the other side.

[Delightful]

7 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

Alright, more details. The cutting is her way of dealing with panic attacks. These normally come from her parents fighting, as a while back, she'd have to stop it from getting physical. Her mom usually starts it while her dad has a short temper. Both try to get her involved, trying to get her to take their side while accusing her of taking the other side.

That is so incredibly awful.  

[Silverblade5 he/him]

6 hours ago, Delightful said:

That is so incredibly awful.  

The worst part is that last time she was caught, she was told her behavior was unacceptable, and might cause her stepdad to leave. This makes them not finding out a priority for her, and also eliminates counseling as an option in her eyes as that would mean a call to her parents. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

7 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

The worst part is that last time she was caught, she was told her behavior was unacceptable, and might cause her stepdad to leave. This makes them not finding out a priority for her, and also eliminates counseling as an option in her eyes as that would mean a call to her parents. 

Oh wow, I know what that's like—and I can say that in her case, it's best if her parents never find out. They're already making her problem about them, meaning that if they do find out, then any "solutions" they impose on her will be about making themselves feel better, rather than ensuring she recovers properly. And when I say "impose," I mean it—from the sounds of things, the chances of them working with her to find a solution that will help her recover are minimal; best case scenario, they'll say, "You're going to therapy. Do you want a male or a female counselor?" 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

3 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Oh wow, I know what that's like—and I can say that in her case, it's best if her parents never find out. They're already making her problem about them, meaning that if they do find out, then any "solutions" they impose on her will be about making themselves feel better, rather than ensuring she recovers properly. And when I say "impose," I mean it—from the sounds of things, the chances of them working with her to find a solution that will help her recover are minimal; best case scenario, they'll say, "You're going to therapy. Do you want a male or a female counselor?" 

I really want to be there for her, but I don't know how. Talking seems to help, but I can only continue conversations at best. I can't start them, and can't really draw her out either. Generally, when I have a conversation, once the other person stops responding, I'm stuck and it just ends up dying. On the bright side, she allowed me to take her paperclip just now. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

5 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

I really want to be there for her, but I don't know how. Talking seems to help, but I can only continue conversations at best. I can't start them, and can't really draw her out either. Generally, when I have a conversation, once the other person stops responding, I'm stuck and it just ends up dying. On the bright side, she allowed me to take her paperclip just now. 

I know it doesn't seem like much, but just listening to her will help more than you think. She needs a safe person to open up to, someone who'll just listen and let her get things off her chest without jumping in and trying to solve all her problems. She knows what's going on in her life and in her head, and having someone to listen to her will help her work out some of the things she's going through. And letting you take her paperclip is definitely a good sign. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

On behalf of a friend: Suppose your parents are fighting outside your room over something trivial. Loudly.  You want to get your headphones so you can drown them out with music. You can't, as doing so would require noise. Noise will make your parents mad at you, as you're supposed to be asleep like a good little child, and will get you dragged into their argument. What do you do?