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[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I just lost all the data that I needed for a formal lab report

 

Oh no! Do you have a backup somewhere? Even a handwritten one? 

[Claincy he/him]

(This post is intended as some friendly advice, if it doesn't come off that way please tell me. )

 

but like
What I don't understand is that they will waste hours watching the new season of Doctor Who (which is a big waste of time because of how bad its gotten) but won't watch something decent. Boggles my mind.

But yeah, it is a hit or miss with movies and characters.

I just wanted to note that this may not be the best way to phrase an opinion. There's nothing wrong with having strong opinions of course ( I have plenty ) but this is a fairly aggressive way of stating it which, depending on the sensitivity and touchiness of someone reading it, could lead to an argument. Adding in an "I think" or "in my opinion" would soften it somewhat as the current phrasing is like you're stating a fact, which will often get a rise out of anyone who disagrees as they could take it as you saying that you're opinion was empirically correct and that their's was wrong. Additionally the way you phrased it includes a certain amount of implicit judgement about someone who likes the new season and how they are "wasting" their time and if someone feels like they are being judged they are likely to respond heatedly.

 

You could say something like how you don't enjoy the new season of doctor who and don't really get why people watch it and that you think that Interstellar is significantly better. That expresses the same opinions (though with slightly less punch) but in a way that is more likely to prompt a discussion on the merits (and issues) of the new doctor who season than an argument about whether they are wasting their time.

 

As another example, it's like the difference between me saying:

"Sports are a such a boring waste of time."

or

"I don't find sports particularly interesting or enjoyable."

Either way I'd be expressing my personal disinterest in sports, but in the first statement I'm criticizing sports and by extension the people who "waste their time" with it.

 

I'm not saying it was a terrible way of stating your opinion, or that your friends necessarily aren't jerks . I'm just trying to give you a heads up on how this kind of phrasing can cause arguments that you're not looking for.

Edited October 4, 2015 by lord Claincy Ffnord

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Oh no! Do you have a backup somewhere? Even a handwritten one?

No. Everything was under one file, and that file is gone

[Kestrel she/her]

(This post is intended as some friendly advice, if it doesn't come off that way please tell me. )

 

I just wanted to note that this may not be the best way to phrase an opinion. There's nothing wrong with having strong opinions of course ( I have plenty ) but this is a fairly aggressive way of stating it which, depending on the sensitivity and touchiness of someone reading it, could lead to an argument. Adding in an "I think" or "in my opinion" would soften it somewhat as the current phrasing is like you're stating a fact, which will often get a rise out of anyone who disagrees as they could take it as you saying that you're opinion was empirically correct and that their's was wrong. Additionally the way you phrased it includes a certain amount of implicit judgement about someone who likes the new season and how they are "wasting" their time and if someone feels like they are being judged they are likely to respond heatedly.

 

You could say something like how you don't enjoy the new season of doctor who and don't really get why people watch it and that you think that Interstellar is significantly better. That expresses the same opinions (though with slightly less punch) but in a way that is more likely to prompt a discussion on the merits (and issues) of the new doctor who season than an argument about whether they are wasting their time.

 

As another example, it's like the difference between me saying:

"Sports are a such a boring waste of time."

or

"I don't find sports particularly interesting or enjoyable."

Either way I'd be expressing my personal disinterest in sports, but in the first statement I'm criticizing sports and by extension the people who "waste their time" with it.

 

I'm not saying it was a terrible way of stating your opinion, or that your friends necessarily aren't jerks . I'm just trying to give you a heads up on how this kind of phrasing can cause arguments that you're not looking for.

Spoilered for length

Why didn't i figure this out

This is smart

I'm so horrible at things oh man

If only I had known this last night.

Storms.

[Guest]

Spoilered for length

Why didn't i figure this out

This is smart

I'm so horrible at things oh man

If only I had known this last night.

Storms.

 

I am sure there are hobbies you are actively engage into other people would think are a waste of time. How would you feel if someone were to tell you in these exact words? Probably very aggressive because whether they are right or not does not matter: as an individual you are entitled to chose to waste your time as you see fit. 

 

For instance, I personally dislike video games. I don't play video games. I don't even own a platform of any kind. Worst, I consider it would a complete waste of my time if I were to engage in this hobby.

 

However, the fact remains there are a great deal of people who love video games. Who am I to tell them they are wasting their leisure time playing video games on the mere basis I don't personally like it? What I think therefore is irrelevant as I can't pose a judgement on other people's tastes and preferences. It goes for any topic of discussion. As Lord Clancy said, I can say I don't enjoy them and I don't play them, but I can't start to judge others for their choice to engage their leisure time in what I consider to be a worthless activity. It is worthless to me, but not to them. See the difference?

 

I understand you had no intention to come up as aggressive nor judgmental, but your interlocutors probably took it the wrong way. As an advice, I would say, try to figure out how you would react if someone would tell you the same thing in the exact same words. Would you react positively? Would you understand? If you aren't sure, then perhaps you should think some more on your wordings. 

 

I know this is not easy. When it comes to Internet discussions, we often make the mistake to think others share our opinions, but they often don't. Always keep in mind others may completely disagree with you and phrase your thoughts as to allow them to disagree. I know, easier said than done. I am too often guilty of doing the same.

[Claincy he/him]

We all make mistakes (I certainly make plenty), it's what we learn from them and how we grow that really counts

@maxal, if you're ever curious about what I see in videogames that makes me want to develop them as a career just send me a pm. If not, no worries

[RippleGylf she/her]

That's kind of terrifying. Did they find out who put it there? 

 

Not that I know of, because why tell the students or teachers anything?

 

And why would someone plant a bomb by your school?

 

This I've thought about. A simple bomb threat could be a plea for attention, or in a very stupid case, a wish to get out of school early.  An actual bomb, however, would be aimed towards killing as many people as possible, or simply destruction of property. The "killing as many people as possible" is why I worry about always evacuating to the football field. If someone really wanted to kill as many people as possible, just get us to evacuate and bomb the football field, not the school.

[Mestiv he/him]

I think that setting a bomb on an empty football field would be quite hard to do unseen. Leave a package on the middle of the field and people during evacuation would be suspicious of it. Dug a hole and bury it, and you'll most likely leave traces and also reduce the blast range. Football field seems as safe as can be in such situation. However if you prepare a couple of handmade frag grenades instead of a bomb... that's a different story :/

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Not that I know of, because why tell the students or teachers anything?

 

 

This I've thought about. A simple bomb threat could be a plea for attention, or in a very stupid case, a wish to get out of school early.  An actual bomb, however, would be aimed towards killing as many people as possible, or simply destruction of property. The "killing as many people as possible" is why I worry about always evacuating to the football field. If someone really wanted to kill as many people as possible, just get us to evacuate and bomb the football field, not the school.

 

I remember saying the same thing when I went to High School eons ago. I would not worry about it, bomb threats very, very, rarely have the intent of actually killing anyone. That's why they warn the school ahead of time (assuming there's an actual bomb, which there rarely is).

[Kaymyth she/her]

Spoilered for length

Why didn't i figure this out

This is smart

I'm so horrible at things oh man

If only I had known this last night.

Storms.

 

Yes, how dare you act like a normal teenager with opinions who still has limited life experience.      And now you're compounding the issue by acting like an abnormal teenager and listening to the wisdom of people older than you!  Learning from experence?  What is this madness?

 

Seriously, I know theoretically fully-functional adults who can't take constructive criticism half as well as you just did.

[RippleGylf she/her]

I think that setting a bomb on an empty football field would be quite hard to do unseen. Leave a package on the middle of the field and people during evacuation would be suspicious of it. Dug a hole and bury it, and you'll most likely leave traces and also reduce the blast range. Football field seems as safe as can be in such situation. However if you prepare a couple of handmade frag grenades instead of a bomb... that's a different story :/

 

The other thing is, everyone brings their stuff with them during an evacuation, regardless of any rules. So, one could theoretically put one in a backpack, bring it out during the evacuation and...

 

I'm really overthinking this, aren't I? 

[Orlion Blight he/him]

 

I'm really overthinking this, aren't I? 

Yep.

Just remember: Valar Morghoulus and just carry on. Trying to think of hopeless situations where you are going to lose is not only pointless and morbid; it's counter productive and distracts from what is really important.

I mean, statistically speaking, you should be worried more about car accidents or heart disease...and maybe vampires.

[Delightful]

RippleGylf: so basically idiots or terrorists?

Lark, generally speaking it's easier to avoid argument if you phrase things generally and give everyone in the conversation more wriggle room for diagreement. Like I just said 'generally speaking' - ie there are exceptions.

If you state something as a personal opinion, no one can tell you your opinion is wrong. Particularly if It's a matter of taste like dr who vs interstellar, where there miiight be an objective which is better but it's mostly subjective, it's better to state it as subjective. (I just said 'it's better to' not 'you must' to make that softer as well)

Also "I understand that you see things x way, this is how I see it" is good for clashing opinions as well. Or "you're right on that point, but have you considered this other perspective".

Another good skill is just being polite and honest. "Hey this thing you said. It bothered me because that's not how I see things at all, and I found it a little offensive. Here's why......." And if they're open they'll say "oh I didn't realise that offended you. I hear your opinion. (Maybe: I still disagree with you though because xyz. Okay. We have different opinions. You wanna go get ice cream?")

Friends don't need to agree on everything. Heck, it's impossible to agree on everything. Friends just need to enjoy each other's company and accept their differences. Argue/discuss ideas and opinions, not the merit of the person stating them.

If this was repetitive, sorry. Just trying to help.

[RippleGylf she/her]

RippleGylf: so basically idiots or terrorists?

 

Basically. Bomb threats are very stupid as why would you notify someone before bombing them? And if there was actually a bomb, the bomber wouldn't say anything. Despite this, no one wants to be the one to ignore a bomb threat, and then have it actually happen. It's a risk one cannot take. It's just a huge inconvenience for everyone.

 

Yep.

Just remember: Valar Morghoulus and just carry on. Trying to think of hopeless situations where you are going to lose is not only pointless and morbid; it's counter productive and distracts from what is really important.

I mean, statistically speaking, you should be worried more about car accidents or heart disease...and maybe vampires.

 

And now I'm worrying about car accidents, as I am just learning how to drive, despite having my learner's for quite a while now. I'm just one of those people who will worry, I suppose.   Feeling a bit better, though.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

And now I'm worrying about car accidents, as I am just learning how to drive, despite having my learner's for quite a while now. I'm just one of those people who will worry, I suppose.   Feeling a bit better, though.

 

I remember doing that. Though I have found having someone to listen to my random worries helps—would it help anyone if there was a Random Worries thread? 

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Basically. Bomb threats are very stupid as why would you notify someone before bombing them? And if there was actually a bomb, the bomber wouldn't say anything. Despite this, no one wants to be the one to ignore a bomb threat, and then have it actually happen. It's a risk one cannot take. It's just a huge inconvenience for everyone.

 

 

And now I'm worrying about car accidents, as I am just learning how to drive, despite having my learner's for quite a while now. I'm just one of those people who will worry, I suppose.   Feeling a bit better, though.

 

Oh, not all bomb threats are fake. One of the several (at least twice a year, so ten total) bomb threats while attending my elementary school actually found a bomb after we evacuated. We were sent home after that and I had to leave my dinosaur notebooks at school, which upset me greatly. 

 

See? Priorities! Dinosaur notebooks are much more important than the threat of an explosive death

 

As far as car driving, I may be more confident nowadays, but I still get somewhat nervous while driving. So long as you channel that worry correctly, it will help you avoid stupid mistakes.

[Guest]

We all make mistakes (I certainly make plenty), it's what we learn from them and how we grow that really counts

@maxal, if you're ever curious about what I see in videogames that makes me want to develop them as a career just send me a pm. If not, no worries

 

Lord Clancy, I did not meant my previous comment as detrimental towards individual who enjoy videogames or wishes to pursue a career as a developer. They are pretty cool, but I personally have little interest in them. Were I to engage in them, I would consider I am losing my time. They are worthless to me, but not to other people which is perfectly fine.

 

I merely used it as an example as to how different people, different perspective on the same hobby/occupation. What one person enjoys to do during his or her spare is considered a lost of time by another one. There are surely countless of dumb TV shows or stupid activities I personally engage into others think are a waste of time. For instance, I can assure most people my age would consider every single second I spend on this forum is a waste of time.

 

However it is MY time, so I spend it as I see fit. Nobody gets to pass judgment on that and neither do I get to do the same. We've all got to be careful when stating what appears to be an "opinion" when we may, in fact, be attacking another person legitimate choices. 

 

I hope this is clearer 

[RippleGylf she/her]

Oh, not all bomb threats are fake. One of the several (at least twice a year, so ten total) bomb threats while attending my elementary school actually found a bomb after we evacuated. We were sent home after that and I had to leave my dinosaur notebooks at school, which upset me greatly. 

 

See? Priorities! Dinosaur notebooks are much more important than the threat of an explosive death

 

As far as car driving, I may be more confident nowadays, but I still get somewhat nervous while driving. So long as you channel that worry correctly, it will help you avoid stupid mistakes.

 

I was more worried about the chocolate pudding that I left in my locker.  Food totally takes priority.

[Mestiv he/him]

Oh my, reading the last couple of posts I'm under impression that bomb threads are something quite common in US o.O Through my many years and many schools I've attended there was only one joke bomb thread. Well, I'm glad I live in Poland, we don't have any psycho kids showing up with machine guns in our schools too

[Delightful]

Oh my, reading the last couple of posts I'm under impression that bomb threads are something quite common in US o.O Through my many years and many schools I've attended there was only one joke bomb thread. Well, I'm glad I live in Poland, we don't have any psycho kids showing up with machine guns in our schools too

What are gun laws like in Poland?

[Mestiv he/him]

You have to have a special permit from police to own and carry a gun. You have to write a request, give them at least a plausible reason why you want to have a gun and pass a couple hours long course. You have to be at least 21 years old, you cannot have any criminal records, you have to live in Poland and be mentally stable.

So yeah, it's not like you can get a permit in day or two, but also if you really feel like you should have one or your job (ex. as a security guard) requires one, then it's not that hard to get.

Since 1998 there are less and less requests for a permit every year.

In Poland, for self defense you can legally carry mace, taser or a knife.

Edited October 6, 2015 by Mestiv

[Claincy he/him]

Lord Clancy, I did not meant my previous comment as detrimental towards individual who enjoy videogames or wishes to pursue a career as a developer. They are pretty cool, but I personally have little interest in them. Were I to engage in them, I would consider I am losing my time. They are worthless to me, but not to other people which is perfectly fine.

 

I merely used it as an example as to how different people, different perspective on the same hobby/occupation. What one person enjoys to do during his or her spare is considered a lost of time by another one. There are surely countless of dumb TV shows or stupid activities I personally engage into others think are a waste of time. For instance, I can assure most people my age would consider every single second I spend on this forum is a waste of time.

 

However it is MY time, so I spend it as I see fit. Nobody gets to pass judgment on that and neither do I get to do the same. We've all got to be careful when stating what appears to be an "opinion" when we may, in fact, be attacking another person legitimate choices. 

 

I hope this is clearer 

You were quite clear Apparently I wasn't All I was trying to say was that sometimes (though obviously far from all the time) some people don't understand why others enjoy something and can be curious as to why they enjoy it. So I was offering to chat about it if that was the case That's all.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Oh my, reading the last couple of posts I'm under impression that bomb threads are something quite common in US o.O Through my many years and many schools I've attended there was only one joke bomb thread. Well, I'm glad I live in Poland, we don't have any psycho kids showing up with machine guns in our schools too

Depends on where you live. When my family moved to Ohio, I only heard of one bomb threat (which happened while I was at school in seventh grade). Everyone else was freaking out, but as I've established, I was used to them and thinking, "about time!"

Turns out that's a little abnormal...I should not have expected bomb threats to be the norm in public education.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Oh my, reading the last couple of posts I'm under impression that bomb threads are something quite common in US o.O Through my many years and many schools I've attended there was only one joke bomb thread. Well, I'm glad I live in Poland, we don't have any psycho kids showing up with machine guns in our schools too

I grew up in Washington state (not DC) and there was never a bomb threat at any school I attended. When I was in high school there was one anonymous threat of a shooting, so the teachers allowed anyone who wanted to go home early to leave without any consequences. I was scared, so I went, but there was never a shooting.

[Delightful]

More attempted stabbings of Israelis today, and one Palestinian tried to run over soldiers with his car. Thank G-D no casualties; this is awful. I'm starting to think twice about walking outside. I think imma go look up some puppies now. .